Work Text:
A child wasn’t like a puppy. You couldn’t just get one on a whim one weekend and get used to it, pick up dog food on the way home and change your life in nothing flat. A child took preparation, paperwork, a lot of money, a serious commitment… And when Victor first proposed it, a smile splitting his face in half, as much as Yuuri loved him and as happy as Yuuri was as he cried in that Denny’s, he wasn’t sure that it was an idea that Victor was really going to put work into. A “wouldn’t that be nice” kind of thing, not a next big goal in their life.
But Victor was known for surprising people.
“You really… want to do this?” Yuuri asked as they left the restaurant, too aware of how long he’d been silent and almost seeming to question himself. His heart was drumming in his chest, from excitement or nerves, he couldn’t really tell. He gripped Victor’s hand tighter through their matching gloves and held on for dear life. This was a huge commitment. A serious commitment. It was like getting married all over again-- he wanted it, god did he want it, but he felt like he was standing on the edge of a cliff. So many things could go wrong. They could be refused. They could ruin it completely; it wasn’t just their lives on the line, but a child’s. A human being. A human being that would be shaped by their choices, for better or for worse.
And what if it ruined their relationship? There would be no privacy ever again, and parenting was hard, and took a lot of energy, and he wasn’t trying to be selfish, but he was enjoying their current sex life…
But Victor’s hand tightened around Yuuri’s and he remembered that there were so many things that could go right. The little things. Tiny shoes. Christmas mornings. Laughter, and tears, and pride. Nights spent watching movies together. Watching their child accomplish and shine. They would be perfect, no matter what, because the child would be theirs, their own tiny life to shape and enjoy and influence, and… well, they would have to teach them how to skate.
Imagining tiny ice skates brought tears to Yuuri’s eyes before he could pull himself back to his senses.
“More than anything,” Victor said, knowing him and his fears and more than anything his love, and he brought his husband’s gloved hand to his lips and kissed it as softly as he could muster.
“We’re blocking traffic,” Yuuri whispered, the tears stinging his face with the cold.
“I don’t care. Let them find another route. We’re going to be parents.” Victor said, and kissed him on the lips that time. Yuuri couldn’t help but kiss back.
They were going to be parents.
They were going to share the rest of their lives with another human being. Yuuri started tearing up again at the thought, and Victor gladly wiped them away with his lips.
“You’re going to be a great dad,” Yuuri whispered, wrapping his arms tight around his husband, their foreheads resting together. “How do you say ‘dad’ in Russian?”
“Papa,” Victor said without missing a beat, his smile growing softer, fonder. “And I know you will too.”
God , Yuuri couldn’t remember the last time he felt this happy.
Adopting a child was much more difficult than either of them anticipated. Forms and fees and stress piled up, but finally, finally the letter came in the mail. Accepted. It felt heavier and brighter than their gold medals.
That brought up another loaded question. It was cheaper to stay in Japan, and not just because Yuuri had family there (although he knew his mother would adore her grandchild and happily lend a hand with childcare, which was a very big deal on its own). Victor might have wanted to stay in Russia, but when Yuuri brought up their living situation, there was no argument. Japan was beautiful. It was home. And it had an excellent education system. Their little child could grow up bright and strong and go to an amazing college and become fantastically successful at whatever they put their mind to.
In all of the excitement and the love and the planning, they had forgotten the most crucial step: finding the missing piece in their jigsaw puzzle. They couldn’t adopt a baby. According to Yuuri’s late nights of obsessive research, older children struggled the most to get adopted, and it wouldn’t be right not to do their part. The difficulties of raising an infant were also terrifying. What if you dropped it on its head? They needed so much care, and so much attention, and Victor was forgetful and both of them were busy, and neither of them could give up their careers to raise the kid. Babies were so delicate. And messy. And smelly. And loud, and difficult… He couldn’t imagine either of them changing diapers or potty training or wiping spit-up. It was sort of adorable to imagine Victor spooning mashed peas into a baby’s mouth, pretending to be a plane waiting to land, but maybe they could borrow one to fulfill that particular fantasy later. In a couple years. Being a single child didn’t sound like any fun… but maybe he was getting ahead of himself.
It was a longer wait than they were anticipating before their agency matched them with a child. The anticipation was almost too much to bear. Each day that went by without a word made Yuuri begin to second-guess himself, their choice, their ability as prospective parents, but Victor was brutally optimistic. And with a guy with a smile warm enough to melt ice, it wasn’t hard for that optimism to rub off on him, if just a little.
And then the papers came-- a manilla envelope filled to the rim with paperwork, medical records, pictures.
Their child was a little girl. Aoi. At this point the two of them had to stop to cry and hug each other again, but with a few shaky breaths, they got back to the pictures. She was perfect, perfect in every way, better than they ever could have expected. Her hair was long, beautiful, and she wore a permanent scowl like the entire world had done wrong and deserved to know it. They fell in love instantly. Victor had already shown to him that love at first sight was real, but little Aoi confirmed it all over again.
The next day they were in Tokyo, bracing themselves to meet this girl. Perfect little Aoi. Yuuri started to worry if she would find some reason to hate them, but Victor couldn’t stop planning and replanning the rest of their day with her. He’d gone back and forth between the zoo and the beach and the amusement park and he was just about to start over again when they pulled up to the Agency office. Their agent had worked so hard for them, had been so comforting when Yuuri burst into tears again on their last phone call, and though they’d been in that building before, it all seemed too sharp and fresh that morning. Reminded him of that thing about the most pivotal moments of your life being in slow motion, all of your senses working together to memorize every little detail to heart.
It was too hot in the little conference room their agent showed them to. It was summer already, after the small eternity it had taken to get all of their paperwork and licences and fees and passports and signatures together. A little snafu with Victor’s visa had taken almost a month from them. But even with the building stress of possibility, Yuuri was certain it would be a day they would remember for the rest of their lives.
“Are you ready?” he whispered to Victor, who had put on his winningly confident smile but was picking the styrofoam coffee cup he’d taken into tiny pieces. At least he’d stopped fiddling with the present they’d bought. Victor swallowed and squeezed Yuuri’s hand, ready to take on the world as long as they were together.
“Can’t be harder than winning a gold medal, can it?” their agent joked, and Yuuri managed a fake laugh. It wasn’t in the same category at all. With skating, you could practice over and over again, but this was immediate. One opportunity. One chance.
The drab door opened and another agent brought in their little girl, leading her by the tiny, perfect hand.
She was even more perfect than she had been in the photographs. Her chubby cheeks were pink, probably scrubbed vigorously right before the meeting, and her little dress reminded Yuuri of all of the adorable clothes Yuuri and Victor hadn’t been able to keep their eyes off whenever they went shopping now. Her tiny scowl was pronounced and suspicious, as if she’d been reminded to be cherubic to sell herself better and was now determined to be even more unappealing out of spite. Yuuri wanted to pick her up and hug her for the next ten years. It was hard to stay in his seat.
“Hello,” he opted for instead, giving a little finger wave as she climbed into the chair opposite his and Victor’s at the conference table. He could tell her feet dangled from their height and he knew he was falling in love. Victor squeezed his hand tightly and waved too.
“It’s so nice to finally meet you!” He smiled, a real smile, not his prince charming media smile, and Yuuri felt his heart ache. He was going to explode. The two of them together would kill him, and that was a death he was happy to submit to.
“What kind of accent is that?” Aoi’s English was decent and as hard as the look on her face. Yuuri covered a smile.
“Russian, actually! I’m sorry my Japanese isn’t very good. Is English okay with you?”
Aoi’s face hardened over like she was contemplating, but she just shrugged.
“We would be happy to speak English and Japanese with you, and you could learn Russian, too.” Yuuri smiled at her, unable to keep the cheesy look off his face.
“It’s not like it matters,” she decided on after a moment of hesitation. “What’s with the present?”
Yuuri wanted to go into a whole soliloquy on the fantastic education they would help her get, but he figured it wasn’t as exciting to a six year old as it was to him.
Victor grinned like pure sunshine and pushed their gift across the table.
“We couldn’t pick what we wanted to give you. There were so many options--your folder said you liked bunnies and art, and we wanted to give you something you’d appreciate-”
“Not that we’re trying to bribe you or anything-”
“But we just can’t wait to do so many fun things with you and take you places and teach you things and-”
She eyed them skeptically and unwrapped the large box. Their agent watched critically, probably racking up the price in his head. Victor adored buying presents and Yuuri had barely been able to stop him from filling the entire car with them. There was a big enough pile on their kitchen table as it was.
Not that Yuuri blamed him. The look on her face--in her eyes, specifically-- when she opened the offensively big package was absolutely worth it. She pulled out the enormous plush bunny with a soft gasp she couldn’t hide and admired its big eyes and soft ears and the blue, glittery skater’s outfit it was wearing. That they had definitely not hunted down for weeks, months even.
“Its' dress is ugly.”
“Oh,” Yuuri said, trying not to look offended or heartbroken. Tried not to focus on his heart falling into his stomach. She didn’t have to like skating, of course, but it was such a big part of his and Victor’s life together that the idea of approaching raising their child without it seemed impossible. “Um. You can take it off, if you like.”
She looked at him like he’d suggested lighting it on fire.
“I can’t do that. Then she would be naked .” Her little hands patted the skirt down, as if protecting the rabbit’s modesty.
“We could return it and get you a different one.” Victor smiled at her knowingly.
“No, I’m keeping it forever. Shut up.”
Yuuri and Victor both went silent, both perplexed with a combination of confusion and relief.
The rest of the meeting went moderately well, them asking questions and Aoi answering with her little arms wrapped around the huge bunny. Aoi asking them questions and Victor and Yuuri falling over themselves to impress her and gush about one another. By the end of the session, everybody was smiling, even Aoi, if a little begrudgingly.
“I think you’re ready for a short trial period, if everyone here is comfortable with that.” Their agent smiled at Aoi, and she pointedly looked away.
“Trial period?” Yuuri couldn’t help but question. His heart launched itself into his throat and Victor squeezed his hand so tightly he couldn’t feel his fingers. “It’s… not like a rental car or… something, is it?”
“I’m not a car!”
The agent laughed.
“No, no, I’m.. I’m not sure what exactly you mean by that, but the two of you will have a chance to take Aoi on a few outings to determine if you can work well together in a more relaxed setting.”
“Oh.” Well, that was better. Trial period, though. Like they were going to send her away if they weren’t satisfied within the next 48 hours. This was almost more nerve-wracking than the meeting. How many ways were there to mess up?
“We’ll give Aoi here a cell phone and your requirements, of course, but I’m sure you’d rather get to planning the fun things than worrying about all of the important little details.”
Victor, knowing that Yuuri was exactly the type to worry about all of the important little details, patted him on the back and took over before he could choke.
“That sounds excellent. We can’t wait to see you again, Aoi.”
She avoided his sunny smile and stared at the floor.
“Yeah, okay. I guess. You guys aren’t that weird.”
Yuuri wasn’t sure if he should take that as a compliment, but he did anyway. And his heart soared.
Their first outing was Victor’s idea.
“A real arcade?”
“You’ve lived in Tokyo your whole life and you’ve never been to an arcade?”
Aoi folded her little arms defensively. “I’ve been busy.”
Victor and Yuuri laughed and took her by the hand inside. One for each of them.
The arcade hadn’t been Yuuri’s first choice. They were loud and busy and made Yuuri itch for hand sanitizer, especially the popular ones in Tokyo, and it would be hard to talk to their potential new family member. But Aoi was lively and they wanted to give her the time of her life. Something she would remember and appreciate even if she didn’t end up with them. That was worth a few loud hours, wasn’t it?
They bought her the largest package of tokens available and toured the prizes. Stuffed animals, toys, craft kits, and trinkets. Victor oohed and ahhed over the stress balls shaped like pigs and pointed out the enormous Barbie castle that the arcade was offering for the biggest prize.
“Doesn’t that look like fun, Aoi?”
“No. That looks like poop.” She put her hands on her hips. “I want the NERF set.”
Yuuri held in his laughter.
“Well, we can try for that, but I’m not too good at these sorts of games, so maybe it would be good to look at the smaller prizes-”
“Don’t be humble, Yuuri, you’re amazing.” Victor kissed him on the cheek and Aoi gagged.
“We’re here to game, people, not be gross!”
She ran into the fray of blacklight and screaming children and Victor and Yuuri had no choice but to follow. She beat them at Whack-a-Mole, a racing game (“You’ve never driven a car and your feet don’t even reach the pedals, how are you winning?”) and a dinosaur fighting game, but Yuuri showed his true colors at the skee-ball and a quiz show that only asked answers in Japanese. But the best game they played had to be DDR. There were only two dance pads free, but Victor and Yuuri took turns challenging Aoi to determine who was the best dancer. They loved watching her beat them down with her great moves and confident pride. Eventually Aoi got bored and had them compete against each other. Yuuri’s stamina helped him out in the long run, though Victor won for stylistic points by a mile.
But by the time they were exhausted and ready for lunch, they were still a thousand tickets off of the NERF set.
“We could just buy you one,” Victor said, patting her shoulder as she glared at the poor attendant at the prize counter for the crime of having anything to do with the artificial prize economy.
“No, it’s not the same.” She glared at him. “Rich people don’t understand anything,” she grumbled in Japanese, and Yuuri laughed and patted her other shoulder.
“Let me show you something,” he said, and took his growing family towards the game section.
The old console was dusty and not as beautiful as the others around it, but the fond look Yuuri gave it more than made up for that. Glittery snowflakes accented the soft blue of an old-fashioned skating game.
“I used to go to arcades a lot in high school, not as big as this one, but with some of these old games.” He smiled and patted the cabinet affectionately. Victor controlled his urge to whip out his camera.
Aoi frowned. “So you must be really old.”
Victor and Yuuri laughed.
“Not that old, but definitely older than you.”
“I think I still have the high score at the one in my hometown.”
She folded her arms and gave him the once-over.
“Does it give tickets, though?”
“It does indeed.”
She took home the NERF set, a piggy-shaped stress ball, and a promise for another outing.
Day two brought them to the Zoo. It was a brilliantly hot summer day and the first thing they bought Aoi was a pair of glittery sunglasses. She’d never had any before and they weren’t about to let her go around squinting all day. She looked fabulous between the two of them, ready to take on the world and their next adventure. Yuuri had the distinct impression that she was warming up to them, or at least the attention, and it set his heart ablaze even hotter than the sidewalks.
“This calls for ice cream,” Victor declared the second they walked into the park, before they even saw a single non-pigeon animal, and Aoi firmly agreed. Yuuri was a strawberry man, Aoi liked chocolate, and Victor preferred vanilla. A perfect Neapolitan, with lots and lots of sprinkles.
The only option, then, was the largest sundae they had available. Neapolitan, of course, drizzled in chocolate sauce and piled high with mounds of whipped cream. Aoi wasn’t a fan of cherries, so Victor plucked it off of their ice cream mountain and ate it, sticking his tongue out a minute later with a perfectly tied stem.
Aoi gagged and stuck her tongue out back at him. “Who’s he been kissing so much to be good at that?” she whispered in Japanese to Yuuri, scowling. “Gross.”
Yuuri took a huge spoonful of ice cream instead of answering that question, face bright red. He hoped she wouldn’t notice. She did.
“Double gross!”
They took on the zoo at large next, taking pictures of the lions and tigers and bears. Victor made the mistake of taking an instagram picture of the three of them to brag to Yurio, and before they even got to the red pandas, Aoi’s favorite, they were swarmed with fans.
“Is it really you?”
“What are you doing in Tokyo?”
“Who’s this little angel?”
“How will this impact your skating careers??”
Victor didn’t mind facing the press for himself, but Aoi didn’t deserve that kind of treatment.
“Get ready,” he whispered in Yuuri’s ear, then put Aoi on his shoulders and ran.
They ran until they were certain in the clear, which by that point was almost the full loop around the zoo. They hid among the boardwalk-style area, which wasn’t as crowded in the less shaded area of the park.
“How about these?” Victor pulled an elephant mask off of a nearby kiosk and grinned. “Does grey suit me?”
“No,” Aoi said flatly. “You’re a polar bear. And Yuuri is a piggy. I want to be a red panda.”
Yuuri laughed, taking the tease in stride, especially after being reminded how long it had been since he’d jogged when they made their mad escape.
“Is there a piggy mask?”
“Is this close enough?” Victor held up a tusked boar mask. “Not too scary?”
“Perfect. It’s just like him, cause he’s boar-ing.” She cracked up at her own joke and donned the red panda mask. Yuuri felt a stab at his pride, but Aoi’s laughter was such an amazing sound it was worth all the humiliation. He couldn’t help but laugh, and neither could Victor. She was the one. She had to be.
She was… perfect.
Now incognito, they spent the rest of the afternoon wandering around the zoo, taking photos, making memories. Aoi got to take a picture with the giraffes and the baby pandas, both giant and red. She denied crying, but wouldn’t let Victor fix her hair where Momo-tan had sniffed her.
“Being famous kind of sucks, but some of it’s alright,” she had to admit.
They shared themed bentos at lunchtime, after the ice cream had worn off, and after that, they took a train ride around the entire park. The long day had taken its toll, and she fell asleep against Yuuri as the ride slowed.
It was harder saying goodbye the second time around.
Victor and Yuuri had come up with an ingenious way to spend their final day with Aoi before she made her choice: they wanted her to experience ice skating with them first-hand. Tokyo’s ice rink was hardly Ice Castle Hasetsu, but it was gorgeous and pristine and rented for the entire afternoon, with the promise of a few signatures here and there.
“So you just rollerskate on ice?” Aoi asked, noticeably uneasy as Victor tied her skates for her. The tiny ice skates, baby blue and brand new.They were everything Yuuri had imagined and more. He could only hope they would get used more than once.
“No, not really,” Victor said, laughing. “It’s a little bit different. But don’t worry, we’ll be right here with you.”
“And you couldn’t have picked better teachers,” Yuuri added, grinning brightly at his husband. “Victor’s a five-time Grand Prix Champion.”
“And Yuuri can hold his own on the ice, too.”
“I don’t have to do any of that fancy twirling stuff, do I?” She kicked her feet, the covers of her skates barely touching the ground from her perch on the bench.
“Not if you don’t feel ready,” Yuuri assured her, and kissed Victor on the cheek as his husband laced his skates for him. “Are we all ready?”
“Wait,” Aoi asserted, staring down at Victor’s skates. “Why are they gold? I want gold skates. That’s not fair.”
Victor smiled and Yuuri felt both of their hearts glowing with pride.
“If you like skating, we’ll get you anything you can dream up.”
Aoi thought it over and decided that their word was good enough.
“Promise?”
“Promise,” Yuuri and Victor said at the same time, and with that taken care of, they led her onto the ice.
She was still timid at first, not daring to go out anywhere further than her arm’s length from the edge of the rink, and the first time she did brave beyond that, her legs went out from under her instantly like a newborn horse. They rushed over to help her up, fawning over her and checking her for bruises, but she pushed them off, determined to succeed.
They couldn’t have been prouder. Yuuri had taught a few kid’s classes before to help pay for his own skating lessons, and once spite fueled her confidence, she was a natural. Seeing Victor work with a pushy six year old made Yuuri’s heart sing and he knew for sure that this was the right choice for them.
They were going to make great parents. He had never been more certain of that than he was now.
He just hoped Aoi loved them back as much as they loved her.
Once she had learned to keep her balance, she was a pro at gliding across the ice. They took turns going around with her, sometimes showing off with the occasional spin or two. She stuck her tongue out at Victor whenever he performed a flip for her, and refused to be impressed by any of Yuuri’s loops or lutzes. When they did a brief pair skating routine, she made a show of gagging and commenting on how embarrassing they were.
She wasn’t about to be outdone by them. Trying on a little bravery, Aoi skated across the ice on her own over to Yuuri. After a pause, she held out a gloved hand for him to take.
“Hold my hand,” she mumbled, and though Yuuri had been a little embarrassed by the show of wealth, he was relieved there was no one else there to make noise, or her little voice would have been lost. He gladly took her hand, and at once they were taking off to the other side of the rink, over to Victor.
Aoi repeated the same with him, so they were hand in hand in hand, all skating across the rink. She remained quiet, but underneath the bulk of her scarf Yuuri could see a faint smile. His and Victor’s eyes met, and they both grinned.
He had never been happier, and he would put good money on Victor being just as happy.
After a long period of comfortable silence, Aoi spoke up again, loud and proud and full of that same amazing confidence.
“I’ve made up my mind,” she said, holding her head up straight, refusing to look either of them in the eye. “I want to be a family.”
It wasn’t the first time Yuuri and Victor had cried on the ice, but it would probably go down in history as the best.
They lifted Aoi into their arms and hugged her tight, careful of the blades of her skates. Under her blue marshmallow coat she was warm and perfect and almost theirs. Their daughter. Aoi Katsuki-Nikiforov.
“Did you like skating?” Victor asked while he unlaced her skates, his hair tousled by all of the hugs.
“It’s okay, I guess. I can kind of see why you guys are so obsessed with it. But it’d be better with golden skates.”
Yuuri wasn’t entirely sure if he was laughing or crying, but he knew he was so happy . So happy it felt like he was floating. This was a new kind of love, one he couldn’t wait to explore, and he was never letting go.
“Okay, sign here and here, initial here, and both of you here-” Time stretched on into eternity. Yuuri’s first real skating contract had been less complicated. He felt like he was buying a house. But it was worth it.
“And you have a copy of your visa, Nikorov-san?”
“Yes, right here. And my passport, and everything else we were asked to bring.” He pushed the folder across the table like he was making a deal with the mafia and Yuuri grabbed his hand tightly the second it was back under the table. This was real. Really real.
“Good, good, it seems to be all in order, and so does her paperwork. And you are the parent in permanent residence?” He looked at Yuuri.
Parent. God, he was going to be a father. Could they really do this? Unable to get the words out, he just nodded.
“Good, and there’s that...” The agent shuffled papers and pulled out one final form, already stamped with Aoi’s name. “Alright, I’ll need you both to sign here.”
Together, they signed the last form. The most important autograph of their lives.
“And she’s yours. Congratulations.”
“You’re a Papa,” Yuuri whispered, tears flowing again. “Can you believe it?”
“No more than you can, Tou-san.” Victor hugged him as tightly as he could, tearing up too, and they knew that their lives had changed forever, again. “I think this calls for ice cream.”
They found her in the waiting room, clinging tightly to Usagi, her poorly named ice skater rabbit, and when they pulled her into the biggest hug they could manage, they could have sworn she was crying a little bit too.