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It was always Megan and Lara in room 803. They've always been the messy, and loud roommates. So seeing only Lara exit that room all alone felt like getting stabbed and having the knife twist inside their heart.
Room 803 was eerily quiet. No loud music blasting, no creepy singing at night, no arguing over stupid things, just complete silence except for Lara's occasional singing and the faint noise of her phone playing music or just doom-scrolling through TikToks. The halls no longer echoes Megan's laughter, the void more evident than when a diamond goes missing.
The void Megan once filled was felt at a harsh level, the laughter that always bounced off the walls, the whisker dimples that always showed itself when Megan smiled brightly, the way she made exaggerated expressions, the way she lit the room up with chaos despite being an introvert.
She was still in memory, it's just that she was no longer there physically. Just a blank smiling face on her grave, eerie and mocking, reminding them of who they lost and that they wouldn't see that smile in person anymore, not after the cruelty of the universe had taken that smile away, replacing it with stitches that couldn't possibly replicate the delicate smile.
Megan's illness had taken her out of this world. She couldn't fight it any longer, her body had decided enough was enough and gave in, her heartbeat stopped and she took her final breath, on her death bed and in the arms of her fellow bandmate and hidden lover from the eyes of the media, Yoonchae.
No longer was their introverted yet loud girl alive with them, no longer was she performing for the fans she loved, no longer was she making everyone laugh. Manon lost her other M, her partner in crime. Daniela lost her dance partner, Lara lost her ride or die bestfriend, Sophia lost her first ever baby, but Yoonchae, oh Yoonchae. Lost the love of her life, the motivation and hope she had kept for all these months, now gone and reduced to a memory and a picture on a piece of stone with her name carved into it, she couldn't bare to look at.
Instead of their usual six, it's now down to five. Occasionally, they would make room for a sixth member, although it would never be filled because the member herself was no longer there, no longer breathing with them, no longer laughing. It was a sad and cruel reality to face. Sometimes Sophia would make too much food, sometimes Manon would accidentally make an extra drink, sometimes they would leave space in the group photos, sometimes they'd wait for someone who wasn't there, someone they loved like family.
The media didn't know. The girls don't know if they could tell their fans. But they know they'd be just as devastated as they were and still are, the fans have loved Megan through thick and thin, her expressiveness, her personality, her skills, her.
The girls tried their best really, but the media caught on. The fact they looked stressed and tired in each interview, the way that every group picture had a hollow spot, where no one but Megan could fit in, the fact that Megan was now missing in every performance and every interview, they saw it, and they questioned it, because media will always be full of questions.
It started with a few posts asking where Megan had gone, a quiet murmur amongst the media, a curious gossip passed down from curious fan to another curious fan. It was a hushed speculation, like a quiet plague that couldn't be ignored. The media was onto something, and the whispers could only grow loud enough until they turned to screams, “Where is Megan?”, “When's Megan coming back?”, “What happened to Megan?” they'd ask, repeating those words over and over again, each time they repeated the questions, it sent a bullet through each of the girls hearts, because they know that Megan wouldn't come back, she couldn't, and she'll never come back.
Eventually, they'll come to accept the fact that Megan won't be able to walk with them side by side anymore, eventually they'll tell the media, eventually they'll learn to live without Megan, eventually they'll stop coming daily to her grave, but the memory of her will last forever, imbedded into media, memories, and forever missed by the girls and fans alike.