Chapter Text
You and Tohma are friends. Just friends, nothing more. Despite your tense and tumultuous relationship with Jin and every qualm you took up with his attitude, you were always seen lingering around Frostheim. Usually with Tohma. You started helping him out with paperwork and anything else he’d let you help with which always took a bit of nagging. He seems to work himself to the bone as if the stress and headaches were ritual that made him pure and worthy. You constantly had to make him take breaks. You’d been at this for so long that now your work turned into existing around him purely to make sure he remembered he had his limits and to take it easy.
Your friendship came as quite a surprise to everyone around you two. People saw Tohma as infallible, aloof, intimidating, and above all, untouchable. You on the other hand were the opposite. You were friendly and sincere, wearing your heart on your sleeve and never being one to bite your tongue when something needs confrontation, yet grounded enough to admit when you were wrong. So when people first saw you following the ghoul around like a lost puppy, everyone feared the worst. He would definitely snap at you and crush whatever hopes you had of getting on his good side right? No one would’ve expected to see him smile at you so fondly and sincerely, it almost freaked them out even more.
But you knew Tohma. Though he was definitely the stoic type, he was much kinder and polite than people seemed to think. He let you in, a rare thing for him. He had built up his emotional walls high and sturdy, he’d become a master of his emotions and maintaining a steely and imposing image. He used to be in Vagastrom and now was the vice-captain and assistant to a King, he had to be strong and learned quickly how to at least look as such. Then, you came along. At first he only saw your value in your ability to enhance the ghouls’ stigmas and the efficiency you had when completing the mission reports. You were observant and learned quickly, he always admired that in a person. People who could carry their weight were a breath of fresh air to him. It wasn’t until you offered to help him with other work to kill the time that he really started paying attention to you.
Despite your own voiced worries about being seen as dead weight to the ghouls and feeling like a liability more than anything, Tohma thought you were rather helpful. You were resourceful and quick on your feet. After a few weeks of occasional visits to the vault offering your help and effortlessly learning the ropes, Tohma finally offered you a more official position as his assistant.
“This way I can compensate you for your time and effort, your work and diligence has proved to be more than deserving” he told you with an earnest smile.
While you worked the conversation always flowed with ease. You learned a lot about the vice-captain, more than you really ever expected to but you were thrilled nonetheless. From the first time you met him, you were quite drawn to Tohma. It was clear to you he wore a mask but there was a spark of something else you saw beneath it and you wanted to get a better look. Curiosity hadn’t killed you yet. Though, you could never blame him for such a front considering he had to work for Jin and how general students in Frostheim were. Appearances were everything. It’s easy to say you stuck out like a sore thumb, authentic and unabashedly yourself. You didn’t have energy or care to act as if you weren’t you and that ruffled a lot of feathers in the cold icy halls of rich and petty students. Its also part of why Tohma, in turn, was drawn to you. Proficiency aside, you were different. A beam of warm and golden sunlight that shone through the blue crystalline building. He began to realize he liked you for more than just your work ethic and so, you became friends.
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It was a day like any other, you finished your classes and readied yourself to make the trek to Frostheim. As usual, you text Tohma to let him know you were on your way.
You | Hey Tohma, class just ended I’ll head over soon. Need anything before I come by?
He responded immediately, as he always did.
Tohma | Hello, I don’t need anything in particular, thank you. I’ll see you promptly.
You knew that he likely worked through lunch and would skip dinner if you didn’t force him to eat so you stop to get you both some food as you often did. Sho’s truck was still open and even if it was a little out of the way, you knew a hot meal from him would be better than any bento at the school store. Besides, you had bought those for you and Tohma too many times to count so you knew something different would be appreciated. You make your way up to the truck right as the only two people in line walk away.
“Oh, hey senpai what can I get you?” Sho asks
“Hi Sho, I wanted to just get something hot, been buying too many bentos lately. Could I order for two by the way?”
“Bentos huh? You got a problem with my cooking now or something?” He joked
You laugh, shaking your head.
“No it’s just quicker since it’s on the way to Frostheim”
“Oh yeah, I forget some people were saying you and Tohma are like a thing now or whatever. How’s that going?”
Immediately you blush and give Sho a confused look.
“‘A thing’? What do you mean ‘a thing’? We’re just friends.”
Sho eyes you with a smirk, seeing how you floundered and became immediately flustered. He continues to package your food.
“Okay senpai, whatever you say. Here’s your food, it’s todays special chicken katsu with curry and rice. Let me know if your ‘friend’ likes it” he said with a teasing smile.
You pay and thank him sheepishly for the food practically scurrying off. What did he mean by that? Did people really think you guys were dating? Why would they even think that? You spent a lot of time together yes but you had assumed that you gave off a clearly platonic vibe, nothing more. What was even more confusing to you was how the thought of being seen as Tohmas partner made your heart race. He was your friend. Even if you knew him better than most, he still kept a bit of a wall between you out of habit and you respected that. Though he did bring you a certain comfort and safety that you never really had with anyone else. Did that necessarily mean anything? No. But his presence in your life was definitely a net positive. Not to mention he was objectively very handsome. You immediately shoved the last thought out of your mind and hurried to the vault so the food wouldn’t get cold.
Knocking on the vault doors, you push them open with your shoulder and close them behind you kicking them shut. Jin had scolded you about that once and out of pettiness you kept doing it that it was now a habit. Tohma sees your hands full and makes his way over.
“You could’ve asked me for help” he chuckles as you balance the food and your things in your arms, taking the bag of food.
“Ah I didn’t want to ask in case you were in the middle of something. I got us that from Sho’s truck though! We should eat now while its fresh”
He looks at the bag appraisingly and opens it, peeking inside. He smiles a bit and walks over to a table, you following suit.
“Thats why you took longer than usual to get here. I was beginning to get worried”
For some reason your face felt hot. He was worried about you? You weren’t even that late compared to when you typically meet up with him. Well to be fair you were pretty much always on time so it was admittedly unusual for you. He sets the food out for you both, handing you your utensils and you begin to eat. Tohma clearly liked the food as he took a bite and immediately let out a hum of approval but the sound made your face warm again. Sho’s words rang in the back of your head and you tried to push the thoughts down and focus on your food but it was hard to do seeing as Tohma had elected to sit next to you rather than across like he usually does. That was a bit odd but you tried desperately to not think anything of it.
Tohma was grateful for the meal. He hadn’t had a proper warm dish in a while and he forgets sometimes how great a comfort that is. It was greater appreciated due to the fact that you had gotten it for him. Your thoughtfulness and consideration was what kept him on his feet these days, physically and mentally. You always made sure he ate at least once throughout the day and took a break at some point. Despite his own tendencies to be a control freak, he felt a small weight lifted off of him knowing he could at least relinquish this bit of control into your capable and trusted hands. He had a fondness for you, your friendship was something he held close to his heart and deeply appreciated. He just hoped that his efforts to show it were enough but he knew he could do better. After years of keeping everyone at arms length, it took some effort and time to put that guard down for you. He tried nonetheless. He was part way into his meal when he realized the silence sitting between you two.
“You’re awfully quiet this evening, is everything alright?” He asked setting his spoon down and wiping his mouth.
Lacing his fingers together he rested his chin on his hands and looked directly at you. You froze mid chew and nervously looked up at him, slowly nodding your head and continuing to finish your bite.
“Yeah! Yeah I’m okay I guess just a little tired. I didn’t sleep great last night…” you averted your eyes and bit the inside of your lip.
Tohma knew you just as well as you had come to know him. Not to mention he was exceptionally keen to other’s body language and knew immediately that you were lying. He also knew that it had to be something significant for you to go quiet and start dodging his questions. He kept staring at you for a moment and when you looked at him again you frowned a bit and pointed at his plate.
“Eat. I know you haven’t had anything else today”
Tohma just smiled at you and wordlessly kept eating. You finished your meal first and began cleaning up your space and heading to the kitchenette in the vault to make some tea for you both, trying to fall back into the typical routine you had built with Tohma. You put the kettle on to boil and made your way back to the table as Tohma soon finished eating and also began to clean up.
“It’s okay I got it, you should take a breather. You do anything non-work related today?” You ask trying to strike up conversation and dissolve the lingering tension from his questioning.
“Aside from my smoke breaks, no I didn’t do anything in particular”
You shook your head as you walked back to the kettle having cleared up the mess and got the rest of the tea ready.
“I know your work is important to you but you can’t really expect to be at 100% effort when you don’t even stop to rest. You should take a day off or something, ask for R&R, go somewhere off campus.”
Finishing up with the tea you take it back to Tohma who was now sitting on a nearby couch. You sit next to him and set the tea on the table in front of you and take your cup. He slings his arm across the back of the couch, resting his head in his palm as his elbow propped up on the arm of the couch and just watches you. You fidget a bit nervously, pretending you don’t notice that you can feel his eyes boring into the side of your head and take a shaky sip of tea.
“What’s wrong.” He asks bluntly
You shake your head as you set your teacup down.
“Nothing! I promise I’m fine. Thank you for the concern though.”
He leans forward, propping his elbows on his knees.
“I know when you’re lying, we’ve been acquainted long enough. You can talk to me” his voice softened with his last statement.
Acquainted Something about his choice of words made you feel a bit…disappointed. Acquainted is very different from friends. Maybe you were in this more than he was. You sighed and looked down almost guiltily.
“Apparently people think we’re…’a thing’. Sho asked me how we were and I told him we were just friends. I guess it’s just been bugging me a little bit. I didn’t wanna say anything because it just felt too awkward”
“Huh.”
“That’s it? Just ‘huh’?” You laugh feeling the weight come off your shoulders
“I didn’t think we gave off that impression is all” he chuckled a bit and finally reached for his tea leaning back and crossing one leg over the other.
“Right?! I thought it was clear we’re only friends. Maybe people are just shocked you actually let someone who isn’t Jin get close to you” you say with a smirk
He hums in acknowledgment as he drinks before setting it back down again. He checks the time on his watch and sighs. He places his hand on top of yours and gives it a light squeeze.
“Thank you for the food, I appreciate the kindness. I’m grateful for all your efforts keeping me afloat,” he pats your hand before standing and grabs his teacup again, “I should get back to work, there’s a big meeting to plan for. I don’t think I’ll need much help with it but you’re welcome to keep me company.”
He walks back to his desk and your chest aches. Tohma wasn’t as cold or aloof with you as he was to others, but he had never been as tender with you as he was in that moment. It should’ve just rolled off your shoulders as an appreciative gesture. It shouldn’t have lasted more than a moment in your mind. But for the rest of the night and until you got home, it was all you could think about.