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Minhyuk doesn’t remember the last time he saw stars in the night sky. He hasn’t let himself take a moment to appreciate them, with all of his missions. He was sure he would have the opportunity to stop for a second and look up at them. Catch up with an old friend who he has only kept contact with through text and phone calls. It had been so long since he’s seen his dear friend, who he considers his soulmate. A reunion would be nice.
Tonight, however, he doesn’t believe that anymore.
It’s hurts to breathe. If he expands his lungs too much it triggers a sharp pain on the right side — he had been shot. His hand weakens as he applies pressure to the wound, warm and wet underneath his palm.
He lies on the rooftop of the skyscraper, painfully trying to catch his breath. Minhyuk turns his head to the body next to him.
The man stared at the sky with heavy eyes, lips stained with blood from coughing it out. He too was bleeding out.
Minhyuk didn’t want this. Much less a reunion to come out like this.
Chae Hyungwon. His best friend. His soulmate. A person he loves and cherishes.
Also known as Agent 94. The subject he was assigned to kill.
Minhyuk doesn’t remember how it happened — he blacked out once the shots were fired. But he remembers chasing after a masked man, ran up the stairwell, and the rooftop offering nowhere left to go. Bullets went flying and the masked man hesitated after Minhyuk was hit. That hesitancy gave Minhyuk an opening to fire.
Three bullets.
The man stumbled back, and he fell to the ground.
Minhyuk approached him, wincing from the unbearable sting of his wound, and he crouched down. Pulled the mask off, and the blood drained from his face.
The sudden realization of what he did, who this is, made his heart sink to his stomach. Minhyuk frantically applied pressure to the gunshot wounds, but it was no use. They were all scattered out. He attempted to call for help, anyone that could answer him but the radio went static. There was no connection out here, and it was the man who called out to him in his frail state to stop.
That’s how they got here.
Neither of them spoke, not for a long while. The city hummed below them, it was faint.
Hyungwon was the first to break the silence, the adam's apple moved just slightly. His mouth taste like iron. He turned away from the sky slowly to look at Minhyuk, and even that much movement was borrowed time.
Minhyuk didn't want to think about it.
"You were always — faster than me you know?" Hyungwon said, his voice barely there."Even back then when we raced to the corner store. You always got there before I did—"
"Don't. Please just—" Minhyuk's jaw tightened, his vision becoming blurry from the tears that gather. "Stop it."
But he didn't. Hyungwon was actively fighting his body to have his say.
It hurt to watch someone he grew up with in this state, taking in a shallow breath just to speak. Blinking slowly at with no animosity for what he did. And the words that come out of Hyungwon next left Minhyuk speechless.
"When I heard your footsteps as we ran. I had a feeling it was you, but I didn't want to believe it."
Minhyuk stared at him, "What?"
The man's eyes shut briefly for a moment, and when Minhyuk called out to him they opened again with effort. "It's a stupid thing to recognize. Your gait always had this specific rhythm. A symphony I simply could never forget." Hyungwon scoffed gently. "It's tacky, I know, but I recognized it at the last second."
"Then why?" Minhyuk's voice trembled. His hand pressed harder against his side. "Why did you hesitate? If you knew it was me why didn't you stop or—"He paused, looking for some kind of answer that could resolve any of this. "Or— I don't know. I don't even know what to say, but—so what if it was me?"
Minhyuk ungracefully pulled himself up, halfway to rest his weight on his elbows. He struggled to somehow get on his side, ignoring his injury.
"You had the shot, you could of fired again. Why didn't you?"
Hyungwon didn't answer right away, he gazed at him to gather the strength to speak.
"Because you're special to me."
Tears burned at the corners of Minhyuk's eyes, he looks away and his lips quivered silently. The stars out tonight doesn't feel comforting, there's too many of them. Scattered across the sky in a careless manner as if someone knocked over a container of glitter and never bothered to clean it up.
The stars were abrasive.
“Why didn’t you tell me?” Minhyuk sobbed. The hot tears streak down his face, unable to hold them back like something he's been holding underwater for too long. "We spoke almost every week for years and you couldn't have said anything? Not even once?"
Hyungwon turned his gaze away from the stars and his mouth twitched. A smile that didn't reach his eyes as he stared at Minhyuk with tired eyes. "Could you?"
Minhyuk's silence was enough of an answer.
"I wasn't aware about you," Hyungwon rasped after a moment, and each word—each sentence slipped out carefully. "If I had said anything — I would put you at risk just by telling you." He breathed. "I was trying to protect you."
Minhyuk scoffs at that, "Protecting me? Look where that led to." He said bitterly.
"I'm sorry, Min." Hyungwon's gaze never left Minhyuk's face, the other couldn't bring himself to look at him for what he did. But he could feel Hyungwon's eyes on him. "I'm really sorry."
The laugh that Minhyuk let out was broken, his face contorts into a frown, and he pressed the back of his hand to his mouth. Everything was messed up, and there was nothing he could do to rewind back the time before the gunshots.
Until they're found, no one is coming to help them.
"Don't apologize to me. You're the one that's… "Minhyuk couldn't finish it, he finally turns to the other, putting his hand away. He couldn't understand how those tired eyes that threatened to shut could still look at him with such predilection. That tenderness in Hyungwon's eyes that Minhyuk doesn't deserve.
Why are you looking at me like that?
Hyungwon's breathing grew more shallow in the last few minutes, the pauses in between each exhale stretched longer because it took a lot of the man's strength to keep himself awake. Minhyuk counted the seconds in his head as he could slow them down.
"I had something to say to you when were finally going to meet up." Minhyuk said suddenly.
The man slow nods, motioning for Minhyuk to continue.
He swallowed the lump in his throat, "I had been wanting to tell you this for a long time, tried working myself up for it but I always talked myself out of it before I could even muster the courage to say anything. But I had it all planned out this time, say it somewhere with good food so that if it went badly—at least the meal would make up for it." Minhyuk's voice wavered.
He gave a sad smile and it hurt Hyungwon.
"I've been in love with you for a long time. I kept telling myself that I had all the time in the world to confess this because I would be able to spit it out when we were finally in the same place again."
Something in Hyungwon's expression had shifted into something soft and sorrowful. Maybe even something else that Minhyuk didn't have the heart to name, he could only make excuses of seeing things that aren't there.
"You weren't the only one who didn't feel brave enough to say anything. I thought the same thing. Why would I worry for being late when we kept in touch for all these years? Surely I had all the time in the world to finally tell you my feelings for you." The dark orbs become glassy, and Hyungwon's breath hitched. "Guess we should have done this sooner, huh?"
Minhyuk moved closer, ignoring the sharp white pain that flared through his ribs, and Hyungwon watched him hover half of his body over him — until the man's face was over his. A hand caress the side of his profile and he leaned into the warmth that is Minhyuk's hand.
He feels cold.
Minhyuk made a sound that was strangled, caught somewhere in between a sob and pain as he leaned in to touched his temple against Hyungwon's. "I love you, Chae Hyungwon." he said. "I really do."
A soft inhale came from the other, "I know." another breath. "And I love you, Min. I always will."
"Even though I shot you?" Minhyuk laughed, in attempt to joke when nothing about this was humorous. The laugh was heartless and broken.
But Hyungwon smiled at that, and it was a sad thing to see. A smile like his that is so radiant, the way his cheeks would rise up from how happy he was, but it's anemic here. It's almost as if he had made peace with the answer already. Because being shot by someone he loved most was something he could bear without bitterness.
"Yeah."
The smile falls from Minhyuk's expression, "This is all my fault."
"It's not." Hyungwon's voice was wearing away, but he still held on with the little strength he has. "You didn't know nor did I. No one is at fault here."
But you're dying…
Minhyuk shook his head. He pulled back slightly, looking around the rooftop with the panic arise in his chest trying figure out what he could do. How he can save Hyungwon. "Maybe — maybe I can still get help. If I go back down I could find a signal and—"
Hyungwon's hand comes around Minhyuk's wrist. A weak grip that is barely there that Minhyuk froze.
"Don't go." His voice cracked at the end. The tears that had gathered at the corner of his eyes fall free, and his lower lip trembled with a breath that hitched and didn't settle. "Please — Don't leave me alone."
I'm so scared. It was written all over his face, the was his eyes searched Minhyuk's because he knew it wouldn't be long. Hyungwon could feel the darkness caving in like a shadow.
Minhyuk didn't go.
He leaned down to place a tender kiss in the space between Hyungwon's brows and then his soft velvet lips. "I'm here, Wonnie." he says against his lips. "I'm not going anywhere."
And Minhyuk stayed caressed Hyungwon's face with a free hand, cradled it. Painted small gentle kisses all over the man's face. His cheek. His temple. The corner of his mouth and eyes with no rush. Give Hyungwon his affection because there wasn't going to be another time to do so. To give himself the illusion that he had all the time in the world to love Hyungwon.
"Can you promise me something?" the man suddenly spoke.
Minhyuk nodded.
Hyungwon swallowed the blood that still lingers in his mouth. "Promise me you won't blame yourself for this — I don't want you to carry this guilt for rest of your life."
"I don't know if I can—"
"Promise me, Minhyuk." another inhale. "I'm begging you."
A silence came over them, and Hyungwon knew it would. But he can't leave Minhyuk this way because he knows how much this will affect him.
"I promise."
"Thank you." Hyungwon felt relieved. "Can I have one more kiss?"
Minhyuk moved before he thought about it, and pressed his lips gently to Hyungwon's. He could feel the movement of the lips curving up. Hyungwon was smiling against his lips. When he pulled away, those worn dark orbs looked up at Minhyuk with adoration.
Hyungwon closed his eyes for a moment, and his face was so peaceful. Minhyuk could remember seeing this before, back when they used to be by each other's side everyday as adolescents. Basking in the presence of the person they love next to them.
The exhale that followed didn't come back. And Minhyuk broke down, holding onto Hyungwon's body as his cries were muffled from pressing his face into the man's neck.
The stars still held above as he mourned for the man he loved.