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He has always been terrific at taking care of himself, so it was not surprising that eventually this self neglectful way of acting would start to cause bigger problems for himself .
Before the sun turned into a death ray and before the world became an apocalyptic area , he had already been terrific at taking care of himself, though it had been much easier to deal with these issues, without the whole apocalypse, in which he as well as all the others remaining, needed to fight in order to experience the next day, or night, since most of them were resting at day .
Fixing most problems was way easier back then, more safety, more trustworthy humans and more resources.
Obviously some issues had nearly no solution or were difficult to handle , however all the issues were even more terrible to live with now.
Yet, even knowing that only the smallest action would be the cause of severe other issues and other bad things did not stop him from selfneclegt.
He never knew another way of treating his own body and mind.
He frankly did not care either, too used to it and too exhaused to change his entire life.
He was good at surviving, he had always been, no matter if it was surving the beating of his own father when he used to be agressive, drunk and pissed off by the mere sight of his son , as soon as the returned from work , sitting in the old armchair in the living room , drinking his homemade alcholoic drinks which we too strong for anyone without an alchol problem as bad as his father had one, the strong bitter smell of it lingering in the living room and the voice of him yelling being audible in the entire house with it's thin walls or if it was him managing to struggle through the literal world end , only a weapon and the old building with him as help to live through this horrible life, taking care of all the humans which were trying to find a cover, living in his home , shielding them from the deathly light and heat which already had ended multiple people, while he tried to live with hisnown issues, all of it was not able to get him to breakdown,instead turning monotone or agressive barley showing any other feelings.
It was spite which had kept him alive and kicking.
However surviving and actually taking care of his own self always has been two separate tasks and he was awful at the second task, barely ever treating any cold or injury, skipping lunch, not eating anything for two days, barely sleeping, getting himself drunk, staying up and watching television for the entire day during which he should be asleep yet being unable to fall asleep, too plagued by awful night terrors and forgetting to drink any kind of hydrating stuff which had been especially risky given the temperature during the daytime.
That night, the dehydration had actually gotten too bad, his body too weak to continue the night.
Previously that day, he could not sleep, running around his building, busying his mind with a lot of useless tasks which he was completing around the building, trying to prevent his thoughts from going back into thinking about all the regret and selfblame he felt, ever since the world end had started.
All the humans who died because of his own mistakes.
Because of his stupid decisions.
Besides that, he had not heard of him, for quite some time by now, and the fear that, he, had been ended by his own people for the betrayal of falling in love with a human, keeping him safe from other visitors, and even going as far as defending him, ending visitors were starting to eat him alive,
The bearded Huntsman to whom he explained these emotions of regret rendering him unable to sleep on a lot of times had named them "survivor's guilt" before smacking him on his back telling him to stop feel pitiful for himself and to get his man up.
He did not tell him about the other problem , not wanting to reveal to him that he had been in a real and honest relationship , with one of the enemy fraction, that he had been letting someone like him enter every other night through his room's uncovered window and that he let someone like him sleep in his own bed while the rest of the ones staying with him at in his place were entirely clueless about who was staying with them, but he could tell that if he would have told the Huntsman and if he would actually approve of the relationship he wouldn't have given him any different words of advice for him than to get his man up, so that was what what he was doing now. Instead of watching television in order to silence his racing spiralling headspace he kept himself up and occupied.
It had been the hottest weekday since quite a long while yet he refused to sit down and take a break, not sitting do in order to have a sip of tea or water at all - not noticing how his body was feeling more and more worn out and dizzy, not noticing how his tongue was dry and how his throat was feeling itchy due to the lack of water.
Only when the sun disappeared and when the darkness finally started to set, cooling down the world once again - exhaustion had hit him.
Panting, his legs feeling too shaky to walk, feeling as if they would give out at any time now, sweat dripping down his face as he felt how uis body burned in pain as the world seemed to spin around his body, he was slowly making his way to the room of him again.
Entering his own bedroom, the dark wood floor loudly cracking under his feet as he walked in, he felt like everything under him was giving in, closing the door behind his back he looked at the orange cat lying on his own bedsheets , looking at him tiredly, a look on the face as if it was fed up with his way of acting.
He wanted to walk towards the bed, wanting to crash in the fluffy pillows and finally rest until the next being would ask him to enter his home, ringing the bell on his door and waking him through that but he couldn't do that anymore,his body failing him .
His legs betrayed him, giving out , as he stepped forwards, his body suddenly aching, legs and arms feeling too heavy to carry as everything around him was blurring out , a piercing pain shooting through his head.
Before he had fallen on the floor with a dull sound, hitting his side of his head against the wood planks, he was already passed out, his vision turned entirely black before he could act in order to stop his body from failing on him from overworking himself during this awful heatwave, not even eating or drinking during the day.
Lying on the floor, passed out, he did not see the lanky, tall silhouette which quickly came closer to the house until it eventually stood in front of the room's window, looking inside, the tall being throwing an even taller shadow onto the dark wood floor and on the man lying in front of the door to his bedroom,not moving at all, not showing any life sign in him.
He did not see the being leaning closer, looking at him worriedly.
He did not see how he opened the window with force.
He did not see how the large figure smoothly entered the room , climbing through the now partly opened window , bones and body bending in an inhuman way.
He stayed passed out on the floor when the tall pale monster walked over to where he was, his feet moving over the floor entirely silent , not even the smallest sound.
He also stayed passed out when the other squatted down next to him, carefully pressing the long, boney, pale and ice cold index finger and thumb on the nape of his own, sweaty and too hot neck looking for a heartbeat, deeply exhaling after, feeling the too fast yet very strong pulse of his boyfriend's heart hammering against his own fingertips .
He didn't feel the soft and caring icy touch of the supervisitor's hand , pushing his light brown short strands of his hair , sticking to the sweaty forehead of his , off his face , letting his hand rest on it , checking the other's temperature , letting the hand wander over his temple and down on his cheek, which was red from how high his body temperature had gotten.
He didn’t see how the other shook his head, exhaling loudly with a large frown, making a "tsk-" sound and he did not feel how the other gently turned him around so that he was on his own back, before he swiftly lifted him up , standing up, walking to the bed and setting him on the bedsheet before glancing once more at the person before silently scurrying to the entrance of the room, gently opening the room door, peaking out of the crack of the door , making sure that nobody was there , leaving the room.
When the home owner finally cracked open his eyes , his room was lit up a bit by the little old lamp next to the bed,
He was lying in his bed, the sleeves of his sweater rolled up to a bit over his elbrows, wet towels on his lower arms and his head.
His head was propped up on stacked pillows and he was on the bedsheet, to keep him cool.
He heard the noise of his ventilator,feeling the cooling waves of air on his face.
There was a pounding dull ache in his skull, making it feel like it was gonna explode. His throat was hurting , still dryer than what he was used to through the water shortages which had been more than normal in the apocalyptic society by that time.
Next to him, there was a weight on the edge of his bed.
Immediately he opened his eyes, shooting up and reaching for the weapon next to the head of his bed, the sudden movement making his vision black out.
As soon as he could see again, he stared into two very familiar pale eyes.
"Howdy"
Feeling relief wash over him , he stared at the other, a look of entire disbelief written on him.
Opening his mouth, closing it, then opening it one more time, he coaxed out the supervisitor's true name, something he had told him after he started to remember some things about his own self again , the influence of his boss loosening as soon as he entirely moved to the side of the humanity.
"Ivan?"
The pale guy sitting on the edge bed, his eyes never leaving him, watching him the entire time he was in that vulnerable state , started to grin happily.
"Good morning, I hope you had a nice deep rest! " the being cheerfully answered. In that second he realized just how badly he had missed the other's deep, eerie voice and somewhat not human-like way of talking.
Not saying anything, he just stared at the other, feeling the urge to scold him for leaving him alone for this many weeks, for making him fear for the others life, for making him grief, for making him unable to feel calm and to relax. His mind always wandering to the thought of what he did right now, if
He was injured, if he was still living and well.
How long had he felt sick in his stomach due to the fear of finding out that the other wasn't alive anymore, that he would never return to him.
Instead , he scrambled over to the other and hugged him as tight as he could before the being could react.
Hearing the other huff out an amused sounding laugh, he returned the embrace .
It was the first moment, in what felt like an eternity, during which he felt at ease.
Letting his head rest on the shoulder of the pale one, he closed his eyes , exhaling softly.
His head hurt so much and only now he actually could feel how exhausted and worn out he felt.
Still, he felt calm and safe in the other's arms , one thing more about what he didn’t need to break his head anymore about for now.
" I leave you alone for a few days and I come back to finding you passed out in your own room with the door closed behind you, nobody able to help you " , pale guy exclaimed , shaking his head and he could almost vividly see the others scolding theatrical frown.
The being then let his own head lean against his partners , rubbing the back of him in circles .
"Oh quit talking" , grumbled the human before pressing his face against the other's neck.
To his surprise,he actually did not make any more sarcastic comments , instead just holding him a bit closer to himself.
They stayed like this, holding each other in a close embrace, until the dry feeling in his throat was too much to further ignore, so he quickly pulled back , looking around , seeing a water bottle on his nightstand , hastily grabbing it , opening it and drinking it entirely empty at a record speed.
Ivan was just watching him with a raised eyebrow.
As soon as the bottle was empty,he closed it, setting it aside again, before drying his mouth with his own arm.
He was breathing heavily due to not setting the bottle aside for just a second until the water had been drank completely.
Feeling the other's eyes on him, he turned his head looking at the being still sitting on the edge.
"What?", he mumbled .
With a shrug, the being replied : " Humans are so fragile and still most of yall never look out for your own selves , I had guessed that you did not hydrate at all, thats why I put the bottle next to you, on the nightstand but I kind of hoped that that was not the reason for you passing out, it could have been prevented so simply. "
With a fed up but also kind of awkward look, the other looked anywhere but the other's eyes
"Not you starting to lecutre me actually out of the two of us I need to lecture you . Where the fuck have you been?! Its been nearly a month"
"You worried for mee?", asked the pale one in a singing and a bit teasing voice.
"Yes???!!"
The other immediately looked less cheerful , his expression switching into a more soft one.
"I'm really sorry. It wasn't what I had planned, to stay away for that long.
I had really just wanted to finally eat something and to look for any dangers close to the home. I did get myself into some problems but I got out safely, there is nothing you need to fear ."
Rubbing his own face with both of his hands and with a lot of pressure , the other tried to not say a thing.
He tried to collect himself, not wanting to accidentally crash out at the other merely because of the sick feeling in his stomach he felt as soon as he got the information on what had been the actual reason for the other's long absence.
He has been able to feel it, something happened. And yet he could not go outside and come look for him, just like his partner did whenever he himself got into any problem once more.
He could not go and help him. He was too weak.
"Alexander I can hear you thinking dumb bullshit once more. "
The other's voice tore him out of his thoughts and back into the present.
"They get you eventually and all I can do is exist in this stupid building!"
"Nuh-uh I am wayyyy too skilled for them to get me down any time. And you don't need to save me. It's my job to keep you alive and safe ."
Opening his mouth again , the other voiced a "Nope." Making him shut up in utter defeat.
He then looked at the other again with a pissed off gaze.
"And you scold me saying you can not leave me on my own for a time without me getting into problems. No leaving the surroundings in the next time . You stay here and visit me every single night, understood."
" I will do that happily!", was the immediate and cheerful answer , the pale monster grinning at the other widely.
The other just huffed yet a soft smile forming on his lips, which he was unable to prevent from showing.
The calm minute did however not last as a piercing pain shot through the house owner's skull again, making him grunt and rub his head.
"You probably should take some of these , mh?"
Staring at the other he looked into the hand which he was holding to him, ibuprofen in his hand.
"Thank you." , was the quiet reply as he pressed one out of the silver wrappings taking them without downing them with any kind of drink before looking at the being .
"Seriously where did you get the bottle and the painkillers from"
"Your bathroom? And the closet in which you store the drinks"
Feeling his eyes become wide he looked at him in fear.
"Did ANYONE spot you"
" No, I can hear where they are and waited until nobody could see me, they were all in rooms. But I did run into the one with the green sweater and the blue-greyish skintone, the one always shivering in cold"
"Oh my god"
Quickly he shook the head
"Oh he can't hurt me or warn others, in fact he keeps this a secret. We know each other." He laughed "In fact he was horrified to see me in this house"
Looking at the other his eyes narrowed
"Say did you know that he is...one of my kind to say at least"
"I kind of had a feeling but I wasn't entirely sure, I wanted to ask you before I did anything" was the guilty sounding answer.
"Why on earth did you not throw him out then"
"Yesenin.
He has been one of the first people who I allowed to live with me in my house ans we started to get along just well.
I caught him and the guy with thebig coat sleeping curled up in each other's embrace in the living room so I did not do anything about the blue-greyish one with the black longer hair
I wasn't too sure if he was one of the visitors or if he was just a regular human with the worst circulation problem I ever saw on someone, so I didn't tell you about that guy. I also did not confront Yesenin, I don’t know, I just want to see him happier. Even if just for a short time.."
The other listened , his face relaxing as he was hearing the other explain.
" You were feeling right. He is not human but he is no risk. He is powerful but not strong enough to pose any risk for me and he is nearly unaware of what he truly is, poor thing actually , i was sent to search for him when I was under her influence still, due to him going missing due to him refusing to be her servant, he doesn’t want to cause pain, he only get dangerous when feeling too desperate but that is rooted in his feeling of deep loneliness so if he is actually with another being , that lonliness should be taken care of too a degree where he won't spiral into this dangerous state of mental health...", ending his explaining he started to giggle, "He looked too terrified , he was sure i was here to end him. I told him if he wont tell the others , I wont cause any problem and let him stay here in safety . »
Hearing all of that, the human smiled, relief now finally setting in his racing mindspace as he sank against the other, his head on the taller one's shoulder, his tired body leaning against Ivan.
Finally this problem which had been bothering him for quite a while was solved too.
One less thing which could keep him up.
"Just how little did you take care of your own well-being while I was away", mumbled Ivan , the human just making a tired noise , while he gently touched his partner's face again to check if he was still too overheated.
He was still too hot but he cooled down a tad bit which relieved him a bit.
"Want me to resoak the towels with water , you are still too warm for a healthy human being Alexander, what ever you have been doing it was bad for you"
Suddenly more awake again, Alexander opened his eyes more and quickly changed his position into an upright sitting position , remembering where the towels were placed before he had sat up after becoming conscious after being passed out, them falling off his body as he had sat up
Looking at his sleeves he saw that they were still rolled to nearly his elbrows , leaving his lower arms entirely bare making the healed but rather deep self inflicted sharp scars littered all over his lower half of his one arm awfully visible for everyone who would look at his body right in that one moment.
Rolling them down quickly he shook his head, no.
"You know that I know about those and saw them already multiple times , you don't need to feel embarrassed for them love"
"Thanks.. I just don't like having to look at them at all"
"I understand all of that , I truly understand but they aren't something you need to hide from anyone, not even from yourself, alright"
Nodding, tbe other smiled weakly.
"I love you Ivan ."
The pale man grinned widely
"I love you as well Alexandr."
He then added "I still need to cool you a bit further I don’t want you passing out -
So what do you want me to do to help youNot doing anything is not an option"
Lying down, Alexander exhaled as his still hurting body felt the soft and cool atack of pillows against his back and head.
"Just turn the fan a few steps up and shove it more to me thats all you can help "
He would like an iced pack , or cool soda but he did not want to make Ivan leave the safety of the bedroom, not wanting to have him risk being seen , knowing that nobody in this house could harm him but it would only be the rootcause for even more problems which he did not want right atthe moment.
For second, pale guy looked at the other not doing or saying stuff at all as if he wanted to ask him if that was really it, as if he knew that, he just said to shove the fan more to him and to make this object run on a higher step , just so that he himself couldn't leave his bedroom once again but he then lifted himself up off the edge, the bed making a bit of a creaking sound , carrying out tasks which he had been given, before standing close to the bed visibly unsure what he could do
Closing his eyes and making a relaxed sound as the cool air of the Fan cooled him even more, the other let himself sink a bit more into the bed , voicing a "Thank you love», opening up the eyes right afterwards , staring at the being looking back at him , then scooting over and patting next to him.
"Move your ass here "
He had been sleeping in his bed with only the cool empty place next to him, reminding him of the person he once had lost and of the person he was missing at that moment whenever he was in his side of the bed for almost an entire long month so now the other had to make up for that, it had been enough time spent in fear with thatpainful empty place next to him, wondering if he was losing Ivan currently, if he would see him once more and if so, if he was still "living” then or if he was doomed to end similar to Alexandr's wife, if yes, he could not think that he wanted to live through the pain , regret and sickening grieving once more .
Upon hearing the demand, a big grin spread over the beings mouth before he walked over to him, entering the bed , lying down in his spot next to the human who immediately rolled over and hugged the other, placing his leg on the other's legs closing the remaining gap in between both through pulling the tall one to him.
Ivan immediately wrapped his own long boney and eerily bending arms around the house owner, grinning happily while he played with the light hair of the man in his em race.
Mumbling an "I m so glad that you are here alive and healthy" he pressed his face against the other before he could barley handle to stay awake any longer, now finally resting in the hold of his partner, finally hydrated and getting cooled down and also with a lot of his current issues keeping him up when he should find some rest getting removed from his mental note about stuff he had to break his head in fear about , the exhaustion finally washed over hi m as his body took what it needed, falling asleep in the pale man's arms.
Feeling relaxed for the first moment since nearly one long month, his body finally fully resting.
The pale man continued to be up , holding the other, caressing his face, rubbing circles onto the others hurting back, playing with the man's hair continuing to watch out that he was sleeping good and that nothing could try to get into the room to harm his human, finally being where he wanted to stay until the end of their planet