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"Remus?" asked Sirius quietly. Remus ran his fingers through Sirius' long black hair.
"Yeah?” he responded. Sirius took a deep breath as Remus continued, the motion easing him.
“Do you like my long hair?” asked Sirius. Remus raised an eyebrow.
“Of course I do. I think it suits you,” he said, experimenting with the dark, wavy hair and pulling it back to show Sirius' face. He rubbed circles in Sirius' shoulders, attempting to ease the tension in their rigid posture.
“What about my clothes? O-or my ear piercing? What do you think of it?”
Remus frowned. It wasn’t like Sirius to lack self-confidence or need reassurance.
“I love it all, Sirius,” said Remus, kissing the top of Sirius' head softly. “What's this about, hon? Did something happen—did someone say something?”
Sirius shook their head slowly.
“Nothing happened. Just…sometimes…I don't feel like myself. I feel…different.”
Remus cocked his head slightly, not quite understanding.
“You've always been a rebel, Sirius. You are different, and I love that.”
Although these words seemed to comfort Sirius slightly, their hands remained clenched into fists, struggling to express the feelings aloud. Silence stretched between the boys, concerning Remus.
“Sirius? Come on, tell me what's going on,” he pleaded, unfurling Sirius' fingers and wrapping his hand around them.
“Sometimes—when I wear certain clothes, or have my hair down, or just the way people talk to me…it makes me feel…bad.” Sirius allowed Remus to intertwine their fingers.
“What do you mean, “bad?”
Sirius' breath hitched slightly as they spoke, “Bad like I'm not who people think I am. Like I'm not masculine enough, but I don't feel feminine, exactly, it just-” they took a breath, “I think I'm somewhere in between.”
The unreadable expression on Remus’ face sent a wave of unease over Sirius.
“I-I’m sorry, that probably sounds ridiculous. It's probably nothing, I might just be being overdramatic-”
Remus silenced Sirius with a gentle yet abrupt kiss.
“It's not ridiculous, and it's not nothing. Everything you just said is real, Sirius. Don't convince yourself otherwise.” Remus grasped their shoulders, “I've seen the way you hide sometimes. The way you never wear jewelry if your hair’s down, or how you never take your shirt off.”
Sirius flushed a bit at the last one, because it was true—and they knew how strange that must be for their boyfriend.
“You don't have to be perfectly one or the other, Sirius. Maybe there's room for an in-between.”
A spark of hope flickered across Sirius' eyes, igniting a warm burst of pride inside Remus.
“So… I'm not alone? It's not wrong? And…you're okay with this?” Sirius asked, their eyes scrunched closed as they squeezed Remus’ hands. Remus exhaled slowly, keeping his voice steady and reassuring.
“You're not alone. Especially because I'm here. I love you, Sirius, no matter what. I want you to be happy.”
Sirius buried their face in Remus’ neck, muffled sounds escaping from their mouth. Remus gripped Sirius tighter as he opened his mouth to speak.
“Do you…do you still want to be my “boyfriend?” Remus whispered. Sirius considered the question before looking up at him.
“Could I be your…partner?” they asked. Remus hugged Sirius fiercely, answering the question without words.
Remus murmured, “This is my partner, Sirius Black,” as if testing it out.
He smiled.
“I like the sound of that.”