Chapter Text
“She’ll get over it, just some stupid phase or following another one of her new fads. She just wants to be different.” I over hear this from a gang of overly-large, dumb football players. They are walking out from the bleachers, and though the guy is speaking calmly his fists are clenched at his side.
As I recognize Brutus and Collins among them, I duck out of sight, knowing far to well how much trouble they could be. “Bullshit, Hannah’s just like every other girl here. Pretty and worthless.” The group laughs, I grit my teeth.
As they walk off, I check under the bleachers, worried for the bully's latest victim. There seems to be a girl curled in a ball crying silently. When she made any noise at all she would flinch, as if even her own pain was too loud for someone else.
“Hey,” I whisper, still seven or so feet away from her. She startles so violently she knocks her head on the metal behind her.
“Sorry, I didn’t mean to scare you,” she tenses, now knees to her forhead. Shit, I must be doing something wrong.
“Do you want to talk?” She shakes her head
“Do you want silence?” Slower this time, she shakes her head again.
Now I have to talk, damn it. I might be the most awkward person in the world, especially when it comes to comforting distractions. So I start with the problem at hand, you know, probably like an idiot, but how would I know that?
“Whatever those douce bags said, or did, was horrible and wrong. I know it was wrong because they’re dumb, and can’t keep their moronic heads out of their mouths… They attacked me once, when I came out. They said things that were soul- crushing, demeaning, and it hurt, but I found support. That’s all I came here to do, be support. No one, deserves the treatment those people hand out.”
She looks up at me, and holy shit someone save me. Not only is she fucking gorgeous, but I also know who she is. This is Hannah, brilliant kid in my math class, most gullible kid in the school, if the rumors are right, also Collins girlfriend.
“You’re..” I stop myself, “the quiet kid in my math class, except when Emma gets you laughing.”
“Hmm,” a small sound of amusement, but it’s a start.
“Oh, you’re also the girl always down by the-“ I cut off as she flinches, shitshit what did I say wrong. What did I say?? You’re also the girl down- Collins said fad, fuckshit damn it, “not a girl?” I inquire. She-They shake their head once more.”
“The person always down by the beach,” Ha-I don’t know the name they want. Fuckshit, I’m so bad at this. “What’s your name?”
“Hann-“ They shake their head vehemently.
“Ok, cool, I’m Digo, I use He/They if it matters. Did…did they target you because you’re not a girl?”
Of course, the worst part of this conversation to nod, they nod. I’m angry, red hot, but I keep control.
“That’s fucked up! Coming out as trans takes balls most men don’t have! Harassing you because of that, that’s cowardly. You need a metal for bravery not a face full of morons!” I quiet down, “Sorry.”
They smile.
We sit in relative silence for a few minutes as the bell rings and kids head inside for the rest of their classes.
“I don’t think you’ll want to head to class after that, want a right home?”
They unfurl themself and stand slowly. I take that as a yeas ad follow them out from under the bleachers.
“Diego” They’re soft voice startles me, smooth and lacking accent. So different from light Caribbean accent, clming from not speak a word of English until I was seven.
“Diego?” This time I have the decency to respond.
“Yeah,” Well, maybe not decent, but a response none-the-less.
“Why?”
“Why what?”
“Why help?”
”You were hurting, I’ve hurt before. I don’t like it when people hurt. I try to ease that pain, I’m not very good at it though.” I nervously laugh, just a little but it’s still embarrassing.
“That’s nice of you.” Then their eyes go wide and they step to the side away from me, then they step two steps closer to me. So close I could wrap my arms around their shoulders like Eli does before they bring me in for a hug. They’re awkward when comforting too.
“You good, dude?” Shit, again. I need to stop making them uncomfortable.
“Am I, what, good? I…” They look at the ground between us, that my hand, at my belt, at my arms, then my eyes. As if scanning to are anything wrong.
“You didn’t… You don’t… He said… It was wrong?”
I don’t know how to answer that.
They start scratching at their arms. Leaving bright white marks on their already pale skin.
“Hey,” I can see that I interrupted their thoughts. “Carly is talking, she needs to shut up. I just need a distraction.”
We just reach my car, they get in shot gun and I ask if Disney music is enough of a distraction. They seem to light up just a little at this, and I pop in an old-school CD in my parent’s old ford something.
The paints chipping and the back bumpers dented. It has a sticker on the back (from the previous owner before my parents) that says “God loves all his children” the loves is rainbow, all is shades of brown, and the h in children is a wheelchair. I touch it for luck as i hop into the drivers side.
They are jittery and fidgeting, trying to pull their skirt down over their leg. Confused, I hand them my jacket, hoping it’ll help.
“Here, you look cold.” Well, that was dumb, but it was a logical conclusion and reason for my help.
They gratefully take it, “Thank you.”
I start driving before I realize where I don’t know where I’m going.
“Where do you live?” I ask, embarrassed.
“Just down a block from the park, to the left, and the forth house down.” It’s the most I’ve heard them talk today. After that we drive in silence.
I pull up and they get out. “Thank you,” They say once again.
“Take care of yourself, bud.” I reply. They close the door and I let out a breath. It’s not like I’m going to class after that, so I call up my boyfriend.
“Morning,” He greets me, to be clear, it is 1 in the afternoon but he always greats me with morning. “So what do I own this honor of interrupting my math class? You’re on speaker, but the teachers out in the hall.”
“I’m in the car-”
“Why-”
“I’ll explain later, want to skip with me?”
“Be out in five, hon”
<~:•:~>
“So why’re you out of school so early?” I turn down the radio as Eli speaks, and glance at our intwined hands, his bracelet cool against my wrist. It’s blue today, I make sure to check every morning, the accessories was a gift from his brother when he came out. There are four blue for boy, red for girl, green for both or neither, and black for fuck ouf.
“Collins and Brutus and their goonies beat up a senior because they found out they weren’t cis. They had a breakdown under the bleachers, I tried to comfort them and when they were back to the present, offered to drive them home.”
They made a long, angry whistling sound, “Brutus needs to learn to shut his mouth. So that’s why we’re driving this way? To de-people?”
“Yep, I’m taking us to our spot.” Our little get away from the world, behind an abandoned house. It has the prettiest view of the Puget Sound.
Our spot holds so many stories. Where we’ve fought, where we sat together in silence, where we’ve made up. It’s where he came out to me, and where I asked him to be my girlfriend, then two days later, my partner, a week later my boyfriend, and the day after to be my everything, always.
We are also sure it’s haunted, but that doesn’t stop him from sitting in the course grass and me curling up next to him. Noticing I don’t seem to have my jacket anymore.
“So, tell me about, all the way through.”
So I explain, the whole disaster, how angry and sorry and panicked I was, and how they must’ve felt so much worse. How awkward I thought it was, “I mean, I think I was helpful. I’m so pissed at Collins, did I mention this person was cute, oh my god how dare he make them cry and feel like they were anything less than absolutely handsome. He should stick his head in his mouth instead of up his ass, it’d shut him up faster.”
I rant until I’m cooled off, then I finally get to hear about Eli’s day.
“It was just mundane, most if the time, well except for when I got to watch Haven and Jim chases Abraham around the room with water bottles. I swear if Sammy didn’t keep her boyfriend in check, him and Jim would burn the school down with burritos or some shit.”
I laugh, this is how I recharge, cuddling. Resting in his arms, laughing at idiots. Not really ready for tomorrow.