THE STEAMBIRD SPECIAL EDITION

The Moon and the Machine: Fontaine's Most Talked About Duo (in recent times)

Compiled and Investigated by Charlotte, Reporter of The Steambird

ARTICLE ONE: INITIAL SIGHTING REPORT

Published in The Steambird, Morning Edition

By Charlotte

To my dear readers,

I pride myself on my journalistic integrity. I have covered a variety of topics from courtroom scandals, international holidays and customs, the many recent changes among Fontaine to list a few. But nothing in my career has generated the volume of reader mail that this particular subject has.

I am speaking, of course, about the two women who have been seen frequenting Fontaine's public spaces over the last several weeks.

The first: a dark haired woman of slight build, always smiling, who hums as she walks (or rather, floats?). She wears flowing garments, moves weightlessly, and has been identified by those familiar with Snezhnayan affairs as Columbina, also called the Damselette, which recent reports claim to be the ex-third of the Fatui Harbingers. She has also been referred to in public whispers as the Moon Goddess, or Kuutar, for reasons that remain the subject of ongoing investigation.

The second: a woman with ash blonde hair of sharp features and sharper tongue, accompanied most times by a mechanical construct of considerable size. She dresses respectably, speaks bluntly, and has been identified as Sandrone, the Marionette, seventh of the Fatui Harbingers. She has been observed carrying notebooks, tools, and a perpetual expression of irritation.

With the leave of Arlecchino, what are these two Harbingers doing in Fontaine? That question alone would merit a front page story!

But the real question, the one filling my mailbox, is this: What exactly is the nature of their relationship?

I intend to find out.

ARTICLE TWO: THE CAFÉ LUTECE ENCOUNTERS

Compiled from multiple witness statements, days 1 through 14 of observation

Witness Statement #1: A waiter at Café Lutece

"They come in almost every afternoon. Always the same table, the one overlooking the canal. The dark haired one, she always asks the other to order for her every single time. The other appears equally annoyed by this and orders black coffee.

The dark haired one does most of the talking. Or rather, she does most of the singing. It's honestly quite beautiful, but it makes it hard to know when she's finished ordering.

The other one reads her notes or sketches while the dark haired one talks. You would think she wasn't listening, but I've noticed that whenever the dark haired one pauses, even for just a second, the other one looks up.

Last week, the dark haired one reached across the table and rested her chin on the other one's shoulder while she was sketching. The other one said, and I quote, 'Ugh, you're making it impossible to draw a straight line.' The dark haired one replied, 'Then draw a curved one.' Despite the clear frustration, the other one did not move away at all.

I don't know what their relationship is, but they tip well and have never once caused a disturbance beyond making every other patron stare. Which, I guess, is a disturbance… I better ask my boss what to do about it."

Witness Statement #2: A regular patron at Café Lutece

"I sit three tables away from them. I bring a book, but I confess I have not turned a page in weeks.

A few days ago there must have been some sort of disagreement. The blonde-ish one said something about needing to return to a workshop, to which the dark haired one in light clothes smiled, tilted her head, and said, 'But you promised me the afternoon.'

The blonde-ish one replied, 'I only promised you one hour, because you forced my hand!'

The dark haired one said, 'Ah, but won't you stay just a bit longer? Time moves so strangely these days… in moments like this, I feel lighter, and lose track much easier.'

The blonde-ish one closed her notebook and I swear, stayed for another hour at least!

I'm telling you, if that's not love, I don't know what is."

Witness Statement #3: Café owner

"Look, I don't ask questions about my customers. They pay, they sit, they leave. That's the arrangement.

But I'll tell you this. The tall mechanical thing that follows the blonde one? It waits just outside with them. If it rains, the dark haired one seems to summon some elemental power and creates a parasol over the machine's head, though I'm pretty sure the machine doesn't need it… in any case, the blonde one always watches this happen without comment and a face I can't describe.

Actually, I can describe it. My daughter makes that same face whenever our cat does a silly trick."

ARTICLE THREE: THE SHOPPING DISTRICT OBSERVATIONS

Compiled from merchant reports, Court of Fontaine commercial district

Testimony of [REDACTED], proprietor of La Belle Fleur

"The one the papers call Marionette comes in alone sometimes. When she does, she buys flowers. Always white ones. Lilies, mostly, or jasmine. She once said they remind her of moonlight.

Once, she asked me for something blue. I sold her a bundle of blue hydrangeas. When she left, I swear she was smiling.

One day they were both in the shopping district together, and I noticed the blue hydrangeas pinned to the hair of the other one, the Damselette, I think she is? Poorly pinned, I might add. But she clearly didn't care."

Testimony of [REDACTED], bookseller

"They argued in my shop one time. Marionette wanted to purchase a manual on hydraulic joint mechanisms. The alleged Moon Goddess wanted her to look at a book of poetry, so she picked up the book, opened it to a random page, and sang four lines aloud.

Marionette bought both books."

Testimony of [REDACTED], owner of a clockwork shop

"Marionette spent forty minutes examining one of my automaton displays. She said the gear ratios were poor and the aesthetic design lacked coherent vision. I was about to be offended when her companion appeared from seemingly nowhere and said, 'You could make a better one.'

Marionette said, 'Obviously.'

Her companion replied, 'Make me one.'

Marionette went very quiet and then said, 'What would it do?'

And then her companion said, 'It doesn't need to do anything as long as it's from you.'

After that, they left my shop."

LETTERS TO THE EDITOR

Published in The Steambird, Reader Correspondence Section

Dear Steambird,

They're clearly in a relationship. The evidence is overwhelming. The flowers, the café visits together, how the Moon Goddess sings when the Marionette is near. My wife and I behave exactly the same way, except I cannot sing and we both are far less rich.

Regards, Fleuve Cendre resident

Dear Steambird,

I think everyone is jumping to conclusions. Close friends can share tea and buy each other flowers. My best friend and I do this. Perhaps what we're seeing is simply a deep platonic bond between two women. Not everything must be romantic.

Sincerely, Court of Fontaine resident

Dear Steambird,

They bicker like my grandparents.

Best, Poisson resident

Dear Charlotte,

Please investigate further. We need answers.

Desperately curious, The Entire Afternoon Tea Circle of the Palais Mermonia

ARTICLE FOUR: TESTIMONY FROM NOTABLE FONTAINE CITIZENS

Interview with Navia, President of the Spina di Rosula

Charlotte: Navia, thank you for agreeing to this interview! I understand you had a direct encounter with the two subjects of my ongoing investigation?

Navia: Oh, you mean the Moon Goddess and the Marionette? Yes! I ran into them at the Palais Mermonia plaza about a week ago. I was there for a meeting with one of our suppliers, and I saw them sitting on a bench by a fountain.

Charlotte: Can you describe what you observed?

Navia: Well, the Marionette was adjusting something on her mechanical companion, I'm not very sure. But she was very focused and serious. And the Moon Goddess was sitting right next to her, so close their shoulders were touching, and she was just watching.

Charlotte: Did they interact verbally while you were in view?

Navia: Yes, actually. The Marionette said something like, "Stop staring… it's distracting." And the Moon Goddess replied, "I find your hands beautiful when they work." And then after Marionette dropped her wrench. She picked it up immediately and said, "Shut up!" but her ears were red. Even from where I was standing, I could see that. Rumors have it that Marionette isn't human, so I wonder how her biology, if she has one, works in regards to blushing…

Charlotte: What about your personal assessment of their relationship?

Navia: (laughing) Charlotte, I am the president of the Spina di Rosula, and even I can't solve that one. Oh, perhaps you should ask Clorinde about this.

Interview with Clorinde, Champion Duelist

Charlotte: Clorinde, I appreciate your time! I know this is somewhat outside your usual area of commentary.

Clorinde: You are correct. But I'll tell you what I saw, since Navia asked me to.

Charlotte: Anything and everything is greatly appreciated.

Clorinde: I was on patrol near the canal three nights ago. Late, past midnight, I saw them walking together along the waterfront. The Moon Goddess was singing, very quietly, a lullaby, perhaps. And she was holding the Marionette's arm with both hands, wrapped around it entirely, leaning her weight against her as they walked.

Charlotte: And the Marionette's response?

Clorinde: She was adjusting her pace, matching the other one's steps. She didn't acknowledge the contact verbally, but she was still accommodating it. There is a term for that in dueling when you match your opponent's rhythm without thought, and it means you've studied them so thoroughly that your body knows theirs.

Charlotte: That's quite poetic for a duelist.

Clorinde: …

Charlotte: Do you have a personal opinion on the nature of their relationship?

Clorinde: When I passed them, the Moon Goddess tightened her grip and the Marionette placed her free hand over both of the Moon Goddess's hands briefly, then returned it to her side.

Charlotte: And your interpretation?

Clorinde: In my experience, that gesture comes from people who have nearly lost each other before.

Interview with Furina (Hydro Archon, current theater critic and socialite)

Charlotte: Furina! Thank you for agreeing to speak with me. I know you've seen them at the opera recently?

Furina: Seen them? Oh oh, Charlotte, I was seated directly behind them at the performance at the Opera Epiclese last weekend! I had a front row seat to the most fascinating secondary performance of the evening.

Charlotte: Tell me everything.

Furina: So Columbina was completely enraptured by the opera, as one is naturally. She was leaning forward, jaw open, mouthing along to the lyrics. In contrast, Miss Guillotin remained in her seat.

Charlotte: That doesn't sound promising for any interpretation.

Furina: I'm not finished! During the second act, during the love duet, Columbina reached over and took Miss Guillotin's hand without looking away from the stage. Miss Guillotin looked down at their joined hands, and then she looked at Columbina, and Charlotte, might I add, I have performed every emotion for over five hundred years so I know what adoration looks like.

Charlotte: Oh?

Furina: Miss Guillotin continued to watch her for the entire duet. When Columbina finally turned, she smiled, and said, "Did you like that part?" And Miss Guillotin said, "It was predictable." And Columbina laughed as if she understood exactly what that meant. And then she rested her head on Miss Guillotin's shoulder for the rest of the show, and Miss Guillotin didn't move an inch until the end.

Charlotte: Your verdict?

Furina: Ah, as I have written, directed, and starred in hundreds of stories, I have never seen a better one than the one happening for free in that row of the Opera Epiclese that night! If someone wrote this as fiction, critics would say it was too tender to be believable.

Brief statement from Monsieur Neuvillette, Iudex of Fontaine

Charlotte: Monsieur Neuvillette, would you comment on the presence of two present or previous Fatui Harbingers conducting personal business within Fontaine's borders?

Neuvillette: They have filed the appropriate visitor documentation and have not violated any Fontaine statutes during their stay.

Charlotte: And regarding the public fascination with their relationship?

Neuvillette: I do not typically comment on matters of personal sentiment. However, during their registration at the Office of Foreign Affairs, when the clerk asked Marionette to list an emergency contact, she immediately wrote down Columbina Hyposelenia. And when the Moon Goddess was asked the same question, she turned to Marionette and asked, "Is it still you?" And Marionette said, "Ugh! Don't ask foolish questions!"

Charlotte: And your personal read on the situation, Monsieur?

Neuvillette: I understand something of bonds that transcend easy categorization. They appear to belong to each other in whatever way they have chosen, and that it is not my place, nor anyone's, to define. 

Charlotte: While I've got you here, Monsieur, may I inquire about your recent tea adventures with the Duke—?

Neuvillette: This interview is concluded.

ARTICLE FIVE: "DISPUTES"

A collection of witnessed disputes, compiled for reader interest

Incident Report #1: The Bread Disagreement

Location: Near the Court of Fontaine

Witnesses: Four customers, including one baker

Upon receiving their orders, Columbina [the Moon Goddess, ex-Harbinger] offered Sandrone [Marionette] a bite of her own pastry. Sandrone declined. Columbina held it closer. Sandrone said, "I don't want it." Columbina said, "But you haven't eaten anything sweet for days."

Sandrone said, "Are you watching what I eat?"

Columbina said, "How else am I to make sure you're getting enough energy?"

Then Sandrone accepted a bite of the pastry. She said, "Ugh! It's too sweet." Columbina said, "But you finished the bite." Sandrone said, "I was merely being polite, something you could still learn a thing or two about." Columbina began humming after that.

Incident Report #2: The Jacket Argument

Location: Fountain plaza, evening

Witnesses: Multiple passersby

The evening was experiencing cold temperatures. Columbina was visibly unbothered, but Sandrone removed her outer jacket and placed it over Colubina's shoulders.

Columbina tilted her head and said, "What's this for? I'm not cold."

Sandrone said, "You're about to be."

Columbina said, "You can't possibly know that."

Sandrone said, "You always complain about the cold. This has been true for the last several centuries."

Columbina pulled the jacket tighter around herself and appeared to giggle at that.

Incident Report #3

Location: Bridge overlooking the waterfall district, late afternoon

Witnesses: One (Charlotte herself, during surveillance)

This reporter observed the following exchange from a respectful distance, with audio partially obscured by the waterfall:

Columbina was standing at the railing, looking at the water below. Sandrone approached from behind and stood beside her in silence at first.

Sandrone said something this reporter could not fully hear, but it contained the words "Nod Krai" and "not going to happen again."

Columbina turned to look at her. She said, clearly enough to hear, "You can't promise that."

Sandrone said, "I am."

Columbina's next words were blocked by the sounds of the waterfall.

At some point after, Sandrone said, "...I would take it apart bolt by bolt…"

They stood there watching the water for a long time after that, and this reporter withdrew because some moments are not meant for print.

…But I'm printing it anyway because my readers deserve the truth!

ARTICLE SIX: THE GREAT DEBATE

Summary of public opinion as surveyed across Fontaine's districts

In an informal poll conducted across three districts of Fontaine over one week, 902 citizens were asked: "What do you believe is the nature of the relationship between the Moon Goddess and the Marionette?"

Results:

- Romantic partners: 58%

- Family (sisters or similar bond): 12%

- Extremely close friends: 9%

- "Something unnamed": 21%

Selected responses from the 21%:

"They feel like two people who were just… made for each other. I don't think romance or friendship captures it, but more like, necessity."

"Have you ever seen two stars that orbit each other?" 

"I saw them last week. The Moon Goddess fell asleep on a bench and the Marionette sat next to her for hours without moving, rerouting people who walked too loudly nearby. She looked like a guard dog. A very intelligent, very annoyed guard dog who would bite anyone who disturbed her master."

ARTICLE SEVEN

Observational notes, compiled by Charlotte over 12 days of (ethical) dedicated surveillance

Day 1: Columbina spotted holding Sandrone's arm while walking through the market. Sandrone carried both their bags in her free hand. Appears to have organized to keep one arm available.

Day 3: Columbina found leaning against Sandrone's back while Sandrone works at an outdoor table, repairing a small device. Sandrone appears to be successfully soldering mechanical pieces with someone's face pressed between her shoulder blades.

Day 5: Columbina under Sandrone's umbrella despite having her own elemental abilities capable of stopping rain (previously documented). Approximate distance between them: zero.

Day 6: Café Lutece. Sandrone went to the counter to request more coffee. Sandrone was gone for just forty seconds. Columbina reached for the empty chair beside her three times during those forty seconds.

Day 7: A citizen approached Columbina to ask for directions. Sandrone, who was examining a display in a shop window a few meters away, turned around within seconds and didn't resume her examination until the citizen left.

Day 9: Columbina humming while braiding a section of her own hair. Sandrone reached over without looking and untangled a knot Columbina had missed. Columbina caught her hand afterward and pressed it against her own cheek for a moment.

Day 11: Someone bumped into Columbina in a crowd. Completely accidental, very minor contact. Sandrone appeared at her side like teleportation and placed her hand on the small of the Columbina's back and kept it there for the remainder of their shopping trip. Columbina appeared to smile for the rest of the outing.

Day 12: Sandrone mentioned in conversation (overheard at café) that she needed to visit her workshop for "at least three days" to complete a project. Columbina went quiet. Sandrone said, "I guess you could come with me, as long as you promise to let me focus." Columbina appeared to brighten at this. Sandrone said, "But you'll be bored." Columbina said, "I'm never bored when I can watch you."

SPECIAL EXCLUSIVE: THE INTERVIEW

By Charlotte, The Steambird

NOTE: This interview was obtained after six formal requests, fourteen informal requests, two accidental encounters that this reporter leveraged shamelessly, and one instance of the Moon Goddess recognizing this reporter at the café and waving her over with an amused expression while the Marionette said "absolutely not" at the same time as the Moon Goddess said "absolutely yes."

Let it be known the Moon Goddess won.

Charlotte: Thank you both for agreeing to this interview! I know the people of Fontaine have many, many questions.

Columbina: Of course. I think it's lovely that people are curious.

Sandrone: (huffed) Curiosity means they have too much free time.

Charlotte: I'll jump right in. The people of Fontaine have observed you both spending significant time together in public. Many have noted what they describe as a high degree of physical closeness, emotional attachment, and mutual devotion. They want to know just what is the nature of your relationship?

Sandrone: We don't owe strangers an explanation of anything.

Columbina: I don't mind. Do you want to know what she is to me?

Charlotte: Yes, please.

Columbina: If I am the moon that the people of Teyvat worship… then she is the moon for even I to cherish.

(Pause. Sandrone is looking at the table.)

Charlotte: Sandrone? Would you like to respond?

Sandrone: No.

Columbina: She doesn't like when I say things like that in front of others.

Sandrone: W-what! Don't imply that I like when you say things like that at all!

Columbina: Hm? But you do? Just last night you told me—

Sandrone: COLUMBIIIINAAAA!!!

(Another pause. Columbina is smiling.)

Charlotte: Can I ask about Nod Krai? Reports say that was your last stop together?

Sandrone: No comment.

Columbina: Sandrone saved me.

Charlotte: Sandrone, is there anything you would add to that?

Sandrone: (long silence) It's just… I've built machines that can replicate any human function perfectly, but… I can't replicate her. There is nothing in the world I could build that would substitute for her being alive. That fact is rather inconvenient.

Charlotte: Inconvenient?

Sandrone: ...So I ensure it doesn't break.

Columbina: She means me. She finds it inconvenient to love me. Isn't she wonderful?

Sandrone: HEY! I did not use that word!

Columbina: Ah, but last night—

Sandrone: (standing up) This interview is over!

Columbina: (catching her hand) Sit.

Sandrone: (sits)

Charlotte: I have to ask directly, for the record, for my readers. Are you two in a romantic relationship?

Columbina: (leaning her head against Sandrone's shoulder) Why must we limit ourselves to the terms of romance?

Sandrone: (blushing—can machines overheat?)

Charlotte: Sandrone? Any final comment?

Sandrone: The people of Fontaine can mind their own business.

Columbina: But I don't mind them watching.

(Sandrone's ears were red again.)

CLOSING EDITORIAL NOTE

By Charlotte

Dear readers,

I set out at the start to answer a question: what is the relationship between the Moon Goddess, Columbina, and the Marionette, Sandrone?

I can now tell you with journalistic confidence:

They belong to each other.

In what way? In every way that matters.

Are they romantic? They're something. I don't think it matters what we call it.

But for the purposes of the poll: put me down for the 21%.

Until next time, Fontaine. Keep watching the skies and the waters and the café if you pass by. Love, in whatever form it takes, is always worth reporting on.

Yours in truth,

Charlotte

The Steambird

The Steambird, Special Edition. All rights reserved. Reprinting without permission will result in legal action and also, allegedly, the Seventh Fatui Harbinger finding out where you live, which this reporter suspects is the more frightening consequence.