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It’s not a habit. And hop claimed that it would never be a habit. That was until he started doing it every other day, to the point that he could barely function without thinking about it.
It’s not a habit though.
He only did it when he needed a quick fix, or when he was stressed from work. Or every day since he started to depend on it.
It wasn’t a habit.
He kept telling himself that until he couldn’t believe it, not like anyone else would believe him if he told them about it either. They would tell him that it was a habit and that he needed to get help for it.
He doesn’t want to get help for it though.
It’s not a habit.
——
It was a nice night out, not cloudy or anything, but it was nice. Hop was walking home from work, thinking to himself about random things mostly, nothing too particular until he had that one thought. That sudden urge. He sighed shakily as he shook his head and reached into his pocket and pulled out a pack of cigarettes.
Surprisingly it’s his first one that day.
Substituting one bad habit for another isn’t good, Hop knows that, but he doesn’t care. He’s never cared. Because it wasn’t a habit, an addiction, or something that he couldn’t stop doing. Hop could stop whenever he wanted really.
When would he stop though? When did he even start to begin with?
Probably when he lost the championship. When he saw Leon’s disappointment in him. When nobody cared about him after he lost, he was just an afterthought to most. And to some, he didn’t even exist.
Maybe that’s when he picked up his “habits”.
“Lee would be so pissed if he found out…” Hop chuckled softly as he looked at the ground as he walked.
——
The house was silent, his Pokemon were most likely asleep.
That urge came back again, stronger than before, but he tried to suppress it by pulling out another cigarette and lighting it.
It wasn’t a habit though, he could stop whenever he wanted to.
So why didn’t he stop tonight? He could, but he doesn’t want to. Maybe tomorrow.
It’s not like anyone would notice if he stopped or didn’t anyways.