Chapter Text
D-17
“See, hyung! This is exactly why I told you to confess to Jake-hyung at the start of summer, so you both would have time to figure things out before something potentially catastrophic happens that changes things between you two forever— sorry, too soon?” Sunoo cuts himself off with a grimace when he hears Sunghoon groaning softly behind him.
“Respectfully, please stop rubbing salt into my wounds before I tell the whole city you like Jay.” Sunghoon pinches the bridge of his nose like he’s a disappointed father, which he sure feels like right about now considering Sunoo sometimes did feel like a toddler with no brain filter.
“Woah there, buddy, no need to blackmail your lovely, wonderful—”
“Sunoo-yah.”
“Right, right, my bad.” Sunoo apologizes sheepishly, waving his hands in surrender. “Okay, but like, Jake-hyung couldn’t be gone for that long, no? It’s just a scholarship in Sydney, he’ll come back before you know it.”
“Sunoo, you know how Jaeyun is. He puts his studies before anything, the man gets excited when people give him physics textbooks as birthday gifts! He's a geek.” Sunghoon miserably counters, silently wishing that Jake wasn’t as much of a nerd.
Ah, yes, Sim Jake, Jaeyun to Sunghoon. Loyal best friend, fellow dog owner, pretty grinner, annoyingly a smartass, moving away at the end of summer—
Damn it.
“Yeah.. well, um! Jake-hyung will call, obviously, and it’s not like you won’t ever see him again— shit, that sounds stupid.” Sunoo stumbles over his words, making up advice for Sunghoon on the spot filled with pity instead of real suggestions. “Sorry.”
Sunghoon lets out another exaggerated, grief-filled groan and falls backwards onto Sunoo’s bed.
He knows he’s fucked when Sunoo — who always has a solution for everything, who gives out advice like a machine, the well-received therapist in their small friend group — has absolutely nothing to save him.
Sunghoon’s liked Jake since the start of forever, he could feel the zap of attraction when he and Jake first met on the swings of the tiny local playground near Sunghoon’s apartment complex where his family resided.
He means zapped literally, by the way.
(Little ten year old Sunghoon lifelessly rocks himself back and forth on the rusted metal swings, his shoes dragging into the sand.
His ‘friends’ had just dropped him because they didn’t like the way Sunghoon talked or the small moles on his face, or whatever they said.
Apparently, he was too antisocial for their friend group and he would bring down their popularity around the elementary hierarchy if they kept him around.
Sunghoon doesn’t even know what antisocial means. an ant being social? What’s a social? He frowns thinking about it again.
‘No hard feelings, I guess. just be more talkative, and uh, maybe funny, then we can hang with you, cool?’, they told him, and Sunghoon wondered if there are lessons to instruct how to speak with others more or to be more enjoyable to be around like how he has lessons for ice skating.
In little kid fury, he picks up a tiny pebble from the ground and hurls it backwards with a frustrated huff.
“Ow!”
Sunghoon hears someone yelp from behind him and he quickly snaps his head around to see a kid who looks to be around his age rubbing his head and holding the very same rock he just threw in his tiny palms.
"I think you dropped this.” The stranger walks towards him and holds out the smooth, grayish stone to Sunghoon.
He waits expectantly and Sunghoon realizes that he has to take it, but as soon as his fingertips brush against the kid’s palm, there’s an electric jolt of light pain shooting through his arm.
“Ow!!” The random person yelps once again, reminiscent of the same one Sunghoon heard a minute ago, and the rock falls back into its appropriate place on the ground with a small clack. “Please stop hurting me.” He asks.
Sunghoon notices his slightly broken Korean and he now only notes the boy’s foreign accent. He wonders where it’s from.
Instead of running away from Sunghoon like a lot of other kids do when they encounter him, he plops down on the swing across from Sunghoon.
“I’m sorry, I didn't mean to.” Sunghoon pouts, feeling genuinely guilty that he caused someone pain. Maybe he’s projecting. He hears his parents use that word a lot, is that how you use it in sentences? “Um, what’s your name?”
“Me? Oh, Jake Sim- Sim Jake. or, erm.. Jaeyun, I think." Jaeyun happily responds with a wide smile that turns into pursed lips at the determination to properly remember his Korean name.
“Jaeyun? Jake?” Sunghoon echoes. It sounds a little foreign, like in those shows from America that his mom always watches. He tests out the syllables on his tongue. “Je-i-keu, right?”
“Yes, yes! Jake.”
“It’s a bit.. foreign. Sorry, is that rude?”
“Not at all! I get that all the time.” Jaeyun chirps, “I've, uh, recently moved here abroad from Australia! ..hence Jake as my English name that differentiates from Jaeyun, my Korean name. I'm still trying to learn Korean.”
He stares at Jaeyun in both awe and envy. He's trying to learn Korean, yet his vocabulary already seems a lot more vast than Sunghoon’s.
Very smart.
Sunghoon thinks that Australia is a big place. It's not quite far from Korea if he’s remembering his world map correctly. But he hears it’s really hot there, and Sunghoon isn’t too fond of hot weather, which is why he found comfort in ice skating.
“I’m Park Sunghoon.” Sunghoon lamely introduces himself, feeling the sudden urge to after Jaeyun whipped out all this information about himself.
“Cheong-hun?” Jaeyun mutters, copying Sunghoon in testing out the unfamiliar name.
“Sunghoon.” he quickly corrects Jaeyun.
“Park Sunghoon. Park Sunghoon. Sunghoon.” Jaeyun repeats his name over and over until it feels right and stares at him with a toothy grin. “Sunghoon’s a cute name!”
The corners of Sunghoon’s mouth tug downwards a bit because he is not cute! How does one even decide if someone has a cute name or not, that’s stupid.
Sunghoon huffs.
But the tips of his ears also flush red. He liked the way it came out of Jaeyun’s mouth.
“Not really…” Sunghoon mutters, quickly wanting to change the subject. “So, how long are you in Korea for?”
“Me?” Jaeyun points to himself, “Ah, maybe forever. My parents really wanted to come back so unless I leave on my own, I'm not going anywhere.”
“Favorite color?”
“Uhh.. red!”
“What's your favorite subject?”
“Science! And math. Oh, and gym!”
“What school are you going to, then?” Sunghoon shoots out a slew of questions with the sole purpose of wanting to know more about Jaeyun.
“I don’t know the name.. uh,” Jaeyun hums, looking around. "I do know that it’s in that direction!” He points northeast, tiny little fingers shooting towards the school that Sunghoon enrolls in.
"I go there, too.” Sunghoon flatly replies, nodding.
He hopes he would get to see Jaeyun often.
“Jaeyun.” Sunghoon calls up, and said boy perks his head up.
“Yes?”
“Do you know what the word ‘antisocial’ means?” Sunghoon can’t help but ask. His cruel friends were still lingering somewhere in the back of his head, and Jaeyun was… smart. Smarter than Sunghoon, at least. And cooler too, maybe he could help Sunghoon understand just what was wrong with him.
“Antisocial, huh? Well, I do know the definition in English, my Korean’s a bit rusty. um..” Jaeyun ponders for a little bit of time that feels like hours to Sunghoon, afraid that Jaeyun doesn’t even want to answer ‘cause it’s that bad, but really, Jaeyun just wanted to make sure he could properly explain it to Sunghoon.
“Well, there are two ways you can put it. There's the first one, less commonly used and the one that I sure hope that you don’t fit in, meaning an antisocial person that’s bad, evil! They have bad schemes planned in their heads, and people just don’t like them. I think." He pauses, staring at Sunghoon with a smile.
“The other definition, which is the one you’re probably a part of, is just someone who doesn’t like to talk to others. A mega introvert, basically! Or they can’t talk to others, both can apply.” Jaeyun carefully explains the two meanings in a way he hopes Sunghoon can understand.
Sunghoon feels like he’s sitting at his singular desk with a teacher lecturing him about how to spell ‘miscellaneous’. They would tell him that he probably should know the definition at this age, and tell him to review a bit.
But this is a nice lecture, Sunghoon feels like Jaeyun’s a cool tutor that he can admire.
“Why’d you wanna know anyway?” Jaeyun asks.
“..Just a little thought.”
The street lights flicker on with a low buzz, bringing attention to a pretty sunset starting to set down behind them.
“Shit, it’s my curfew!” Jaeyun quickly springs up, starting to jog away with a big wave to Sunghoon. “I’ll see you, Sunghoon! You’re fun to be around!”
Sunghoon’s eyes stare at Jaeyun’s shrinking figure until he can’t see the boy anymore, and he starts to slowly rock back and forth on the swings again.
Jaeyun said a bad word just then, and Sunghoon frowns. His parents wouldn’t like him straying around bad influences during school, he should probably keep his distance.
…
But Sunghoon wants to be friends with him.
Sim Jaeyun was the only name touring his empty mind that evening.)
D-14
“Hoon-ah!”
Sim Jaeyun is still often the only name in his mind now.
Sunghoon feels a crushing weight onto his shoulders and nearly topples over as Jake jumps up on him from behind.
“Watch the hair, you bum.” Sunghoon feignedly scowls, looking at Jake in all of his glory. His hair always looked nice even if it was messed up to a point of beyond recognition, but that wasn’t the case today, Jake’s hair was tame and possibly even styled.
“My bad, but I don't know why you would be worried though, your hair never looks bad.” Jake shrugs.
Jake’s got the wrong idea, unfortunately. Sunghoon’s hair looked like a nuclear war zone sometimes, but Jake has never seen that side of him yet because Sunghoon always makes a point to make sure he looks decent whenever he’s with Jake.
Sunghoon’s eyes dart down to the blazer and dress pants Jake’s wearing, raising an eyebrow when he looks at the collar.
“Seriously? You still don’t know how to tie a tie? The internet is free, y’know, I'm sure there’s some ten-year-old tutorial on youtube willing to help you out.” Sunghoon sighs, stepping forward and, like he always did, to properly do Jake’s tie for him.
“Internet’s for losers. Besides, why would I need to look it up when I have a personal tie-doing companion with me all the time?”
Sunghoon pauses momentarily, barely noticeable as he continues to loop the fabric around Jake’s neck.
All the time.
The time that they both have is ending soon.
Sunghoon sighs, “I'm not always gonna be with you, Yun. So you should start learning.” He tightens it for the last time and steps back.
Jake’s smile falters for half a second but he bounces right back as he wraps an arm around Sunghoon’s shoulder. “Maybe someday, Hoon. c’mon, Jay and Sunoo are probably waiting for us.”
Sunghoon lets himself get dragged away until they both see a familiar black suv pull up next to them.
“Jay.” They both mutter under their breaths.
“Holy shit, did he put shoe polish on his car or something?” Sunghoon grumbles, squinting from the way the sunlight’s rays come down on the overly shiny vehicle, harshly reflecting blinding white light directly into Jake and Sunghoon’s eyes.
The black-tinted window rolls down and both of them are met with Jay wearing his infamous sunglasses and Sunoo waving at them from the passenger seat.
“Holy shit, Sunghoon, did you slick back your fucking hair?” Jay cackles, slapping the steering wheel.
Yes, Sunghoon gelled back his hair. Yes, he regrets it now.
“Shut up, Heeseung-hyung told me to or else he would…” Sunghoon wavers, wondering if he should say anything with Jake right by his side and able to hear every single thing that comes out of his mouth.
“Tell a little birdie your secret?” Sunoo finishes for him with a knowing grin.
“Yeah, that.”
“What secret?” Jake asks, staring at Sunghoon with wide eyes.
“Don't worry about it, Yun.” Sunghoon mumbles, opening the car door to the backseat and tilting his head as a signal for Jake to get inside.
Said person seems a little confused but he gets over it quickly with a smile and gets into the SUV.
Sunoo was about to coo at the gesture when Sunghoon shuts him up with a glare.
“No fun,” he hears Sunoo murmuring.
With a sigh, Sunghoon gets in himself and Jay speeds off into the sunset.
After thirty minutes of conversational driving and a few ‘are we there yet’s’ from Jake, Jay parks by a significantly grand mansion that screams ‘get off this property if you’re poor’.
"I think Heeseung-hyung hit the jackpot. Literally.” Sunghoon gawks.
"I knew Doeun was loaded, but no one mentioned this loaded, what the hell!” Sunoo hisses.
“Can someone remind me of their love story again because I'm starting to think that Heeseung-hyung is holding blackmail over her head to get her to date him.” Jake jokes, but he’s obviously a little shocked too by the venue.
"I think all that we can do is accept the fact and move on, guys.” Jay says, unlocking the car and getting out because of course he isn’t surprised either, he’s just as loaded.
Ah, yes. Heeseung, the only reason that everyone was dolled up in suits and wearing hairstyles that make it seem like they're — which is only Sunghoon — from the wrong century.
It was his girlfriend’s, Doeun’s, 20th birthday, and Heeseung’s girlfriend is really extravagant and extremely wealthy, so she was holding a gathering that put Sunghoon’s six-person birthday event to great shame.
None of them were thrilled about attending the party, and were only even considering the option to go solely because of Heeseung and Heeseung only. See, Doeun didn’t like her boyfriend’s friend group much (aside from Jungwon and Riki but those two were gone taking a trip in Japan), and Sunghoon knows she expresses it very well given the many stink-eyes he has faced when encountering her.
When their identities are verified and they’re all let in, Sunghoon isn’t sure how to feel when he’s graced upon the sight of Heeseung practically running after Doeun.
“Is he her boyfriend or her servant?” Jake mutters, earning a slap on the shoulder from Jay who tells him not to be so loud.
“Jake, shut up right now.” Jay warns, his voice strained and quiet. “You never know what that girl can hear.”
Right, Sunghoon forgot. They're all speculating that Doeun has some kind of weird super-hearing or something. One time, Sunoo uttered a small comment full of distaste for Doeun and she was somehow able to string the words together and call Sunoo out on it. (Sunoo was ten feet away and Sunghoon could barely hear what he said even though he was standing right next to Sunoo.)
“Oops?” Jake shrugs, a guilty smile on his face that Sunghoon’s eyes lingered on for a bit too long.
“You guys are here!”
Heeseung’s familiar warm voice fills the air, accompanied with a dolled up Doeun who frowns when she sees just who her boyfriend is greeting.
“Hee, what happened to Riki and Jungwon?” She flatly asks, clearly not very thrilled about their lack of presence.
“Uh, I thought I told you already, they’re in Japan, love.” Heeseung says.
“Oh.” Doeun mumbles. She whispers something in Heeseung’s ear before quickly walking off with a roll of her eyes that Sunghoon definitely noticed.
Heeseung’s eyes follow her figure until Jay has to clear his throat to grab his attention.
“Huh? Oh, hi, I was kind of nervous, thought you guys wouldn’t come.” Heeseung admits with a sheepish grin.
“Why wouldn’t we want to come.” Sunoo dryly replies.
“Eh, I don't know.” Heeseung shrugs, looking around, and then his gaze stops at Sunghoon.
“Oh my, you actually slicked back your hair?” Heeseung gapes at the sight of Sunghoon, who crinkles his nose in annoyance. He knows it was only twice, but if someone else pointed that out one more time, he thinks he might go insane.
“You asked me to.” Sunghoon deadpans, but Heeseung only laughs in his face.
"I was only kidding about that, you know? Fuck, you’re kind of easy, Sunghoon.”
Sunghoon doesn't care if he's being easy, the only way he would like Sim Jake to find out he has feelings for him is through Sunghoon's own mouth (and maybe if he catches on, Sunghoon really doesn't know).
What Sunghoon does care about, though, is that there's a glimmering layer of what looks to be sweat on Heeseung's face. The hell?
“Hyung, have you been running around the whole day? You're sweating buckets, and I'm pretty sure it's not just the nervous kind.” Sunghoon pipes up, drawing everyone's attention to the faint glow on Heeseung's skin.
Once recognition has been brought to it, Heeseung consciously wipes his forehead.
“I don't think I've been running around. You know what was funny, though? At least four people thought I was a servant for the party, what kind of absurd thought is that?” A hearty chuckle comes out of Heeseung's mouth, filling the group's silence.
“Heeseung! Come back here!” A screech comes out from what Sunghoon assumes to be Doeun, and Heeseung immediately takes off running towards her direction.
“I'll see you guys around!”
“Well, at least Heeseung's getting his exercise in. That's one benefit to dating Doeun, I guess." Sunoo comments.
“Oh yeah, I forgot he liked to rot in League of Legends before he started dating.” Jay adds.
“One time, I overheard Beomgyu-hyung complaining that Heeseung-hyung hasn’t gone online once ever since he and Doeun got together. Love makes people do crazy shit.” Jake murmurs, and Sunghoon can’t deny his words.
He's done some crazy shit. like listening to Heeseung and actually slicking back his hair.
Whatever, the past is the past. unfortunately.
“Can you even call that love?”
No, Sunghoon would like to answer. Heeseung seems to be more of a trackstar companion to Doeun than a lover, but who is he to judge when Heeseung has a girlfriend? Well, kind of a girlfriend.
Sunghoon knows that everyone would’ve told Heeseung to just end it already since he’s clearly oblivious to the treatment, but Heeseung looks genuinely happy when he’s with Doeun, so everybody decided to make a pact to not outright tell him, (that his girlfriend is lowkey a dipshit and that Heeseung is clearly the only one keeping the relationship together) but rather ‘nudge him in the right direction’ as Sunoo calls it.
“Me and Jay-hyung are going to check out the buffet, see you guys!” Sunoo gives Sunghoon and Jake barely any warning before he grabs Jay’s arm and whisks him away to who knows where because Sunoo’s dragging Jay in the opposite direction of the dining hall.
And then there were two.
“Shall we check out the actual buffet?” Jake asks Sunghoon with a grin, and Sunghoon finds comfort in the fact that Jake is still his silly self.
“We shall, Jaeyun.” Sunghoon accepts his invitation, bowing exaggeratedly to match Jake’s energy.
Jake giggles at the gesture and wraps an arm around Sunghoon’s shoulder, both of them making their way to their true hearts’ content: food.
Hey, if Sunghoon is being forced to stay at some snobby rich girl’s party, the least he can get out of it is good free food.
“And.. that tastes like rotting sugary cheese.” Jake almost gags after taking a bite out of one of the tiny finger foods, Sunghoon quickly grabbing a tissue in his pocket — it’s clean, he swears! — to hand to his best friend, who quickly spits out his food in it.
Turns out it was not good food, and Sunghoon can trust that if it’s coming from Jake, who scarfs down anything as long as it tastes yummy and edible.
“Wanna see for yourself?” Jake weakly offers the rest of his half-eaten delicacy to Sunghoon, who instantly turns it down.
"I think I'll pass on this one, Yun.” Sunghoon winces, doing Jake a favor by throwing the disgusting shit out in the nearest waste receptacle.
Sunghoon guesses he and Jake are going to starve until Jay and Sunoo say they want to wrap things up, and by judging from the look on Jay’s face earlier, he assumes that he’s going to have to get used to the empty feeling in his stomach for a little while.
“I don’t think I have a good enough palette to enjoy rich people food.”
“It looked like it tasted like those cookies you made with both expired milk and butter when we were twelve,” Sunghoon snickers at the memory, little Jake hard at work with flour dusted all over his clothes.
“Didn't you give your mom food poisoning with that?” Sunghoon raises an eyebrow, and Jake groans.
“Shut up, I didn't notice the expiration dates on those things.”
“Or the big ass dark green spot on it, apparently.” Sunghoon adds.
“Hoon!” Jake flushes, tints blossoming onto his cheeks. A brief moment of silence occurs before Jake speaks up again, “you know, those cookies were supposed to be for you.”
Sunghoon’s breathing slows, looking down at the boy beside him whose gaze is attached to the fancy flooring beneath them. “You were trying to give me parasites in my intestines..?”
“No! Not at all. They were just ‘thank you’ cookies. It was hard being not only the new kid, but the new foreign kid with broken korean and an accent that made it seem like he had a condition.” Jake admits with a sheepish grin
“It was kind of funny, actually. I hadn't told anyone so it was totally unexpected when you came over unannounced. Had to mask it as a late mother’s day gift and shit.”
“So you were trying to thank me for being friends with you and weren’t trying to grow worms in my stomach?” Sunghoon sums it up, shifting his weight from one foot to another.
“You need to stop reading those pamphlets about colonoscopies that Jungwon gives you.” Jake scrunches his nose with a pointed look. “If you make references to parasites one more time, I'm gonna be locked up in an asylum soon. ..but the answer is yes.”
Okay, how can Sunghoon’s heart not swell at that thought? Everything suspiciously odd about that day that Sunghoon noted before all started to be put into place now; Jake looking surprised that he had shown up, the way he tried to subtly shoo Sunghoon away, and the nervous grin that Jake gave him when he was showcased with their messy kitchen.
Sunghoon wonders what the outcome would be if he had naturally decided not to show up at Jake’s house that day.
“Jake, Sunghoon!” A voice calls out, and Sunghoon peers over to see Sunoo dragging Jay along by the arm just as he was earlier, but from the way that Jay’s tie is a little loose and Sunoo’s collar is folded into the wrong places tells Sunghoon something that he suddenly doesn’t want to question anymore.
“Sorry, we got a little lost trying to find the buffet.” Sunoo cheekily smiles, but there’s an unusual flush on his cheeks that gives nearly everything that Sunghoon needs to know away.
“..Right, sure you were. Jay, your tie is messed up.” Jake deadpans, and Jay’s ears start to turn as red as the cherry tomatoes on display at the table. His hands quickly fumble with it to make it proper again.
Sunoo only grins and ignores Jay’s flustered demeanor and catches his gaze on the (horrible) food. “Ah, this looks good! Did you guys taste it? What's the flavor?
The words drift onto Sunghoon’s tongue as his brain tries to remember how Jake tried to describe the food.
“Rotting sugary cheese.”
“Sweet rotting cheese.”
Jake and Sunghoon say at the same time, chuckling at the feat and at Sunoo’s expression.
“I don’t recommend it. If something looks as good as that and tastes like crap, I'm not trying anything else here willingly.” Jake grimaces, his mouth feeling itchy at the taste starting to warp his mind again.
“I’ll give you twenty dollars if you eat three of the moldy-cheese-food you ate.” Jay snickers.
“Oh, shit? Bet.”
At that moment, Jake decides it’s his shining moment of glory because he takes three of whatever the fuck he tried to consume earlier and shoves it into his mouth — a gesture not so cutesy for a party as classy as this. Doeun would probably scream at Jake if she saw it. A disgusted look takes place on Jake’s features before he gulps it all down.
He quickly flushes the taste away with water, downing his whole glass before setting it down back onto the table.
“I didn’t think you had it in you considering how bad you and Sunghoon described it be.” Jay marvels, grabbing his phone and e-transferring Jake his well-earned twenty dollars.
Jay always had the history of making dumb bets based on whatever he could conjure up in his head with copious amounts of money because his wallet was somehow a never-ending abyss of financial stability.
Nepo baby.
“He spent all of his money on that expensive lego set.” Sunoo explains, throwing Jake under the bus with a giggle.
“What? It was a good decision! ..At the time.” Jake frowns, a little sulky. “Point is, I'll take whatever I can get, even if that means submitting to Jay’s bets that are as stupid as he is.”
“Hey!” Jay’s mouth looks like it opens to protest further until Sunoo is pulling Sunghoon over and whispering something in his ear. Before he can even process it, Sunoo and Jay are turning around and walking off.
“The hell? Where are you guys going?” Sunghoon queries, and now it’s apparently his turn to have something abnormal whispered into his ear because Sunoo’s voice is faintly ringing in his head.
“If you and Jake-hyung aren’t dating before this party ends, I'll get Doeun herself to strangle you.”
Sunghoon can physically feel the temperature change in his face, and he wonders if the air-con just shut down. Then, Sunoo and Jay slowly disappear out of sight within the crowd of snobby rich people, leaving him helplessly alone. With his best friend. That he happens to have a pathetic crush on.
Sunghoon knows that Sunoo legitimately can’t get Doeun to do that to him, the girl hates Sunoo just as much as the rest of them. It’s not Doeun’s wrath Sunghoon’s fearful of, it’s Sunoo’s. Look, for a guy that looks and acts as cheery as the sun, the man can get scary when he wants to be.
“So where are they going?” Jake blurts, taking Sunghoon’s silence as an odd sign of unusuality.
“Um, Sunoo said he really wanted to check out the garden with Jay.” Sunghoon makes up a lame excuse on the spot, and even though his reason sounded really unconvincing, somehow Jake still believed it (thank the heavens for his naivety).
“Ah! Okay, I got it.” Jake nods, giving Sunghoon that pretty little smile that makes him remember why he likes Jake so dearly in the first place.
Jake sits down on one of the fancy pure white sofas in velvet, pats down the seat next to him, and Sunghoon knows to plop down quickly. There's a pause between them, both observing their environments around them until Sunghoon’s gaze falls onto Jake, whose eyes dart back and forth. He's talking about something that Sunghoon knows he should be listening to, but he finds himself not able to do much else.
“Woah, isn’t that the one asshole that tried to vandalize your locker in freshman year? Oh! Oh, and didn’t Jungwon use to date that guy?” Jake rambles, unaware of the fond look being thrown his way.
It’s always been like this. Jake yaps, and Sunghoon listens. Sunghoon asks the questions, and Jake gives him an answer. There hasn’t ever been much change in their dynamic.
“Woah, Doeun really knows everyone, it’s crazy—”
“Jaeyun-ah.” Sunghoon says softly, under his breath so quiet that he’s unsure if Jake can even hear him.
“Yes, hoon?” Jake responds immediately, looking Sunghoon’s way to be met with the latter being closer than Jake remembered.
Sunghoon knows he probably looks stupid right now. who wouldn’t? Crushes are stupid, this thing he has for Jake is definitely stupid, yet he still can’t help the way he gazes at Jake like the other boy personally hung each and every star in the entire universe and dedicated each one to Sunghoon.
“What would be our reality if you and I never met each other? hat if you had just stayed in Australia?” Sunghoon asks, and he can already predict the nature of Jake’s response; something along the lines of that question was dumb. And it probably is, considering that the only time he decides to talk about serious matters such as these is at the most random times. For example as of now, Doeun’s party.
Sunghoon already knows what his fate would’ve been. In fact, he’s been thinking about that question a lot ever since it was revealed that Jake would be going back to his home country. Now that Sunghoon really dwells on it, Jake’s the reason does a lot of anything, really. Get up in the morning, make himself look presentable, do his schoolwork, and actually be sociable.
Sunghoon’s questioning the boundaries of their friendship and he knows he would be a completely different person if Jake was not there to carefully mold him into the person that he is facing now.
“I wouldn’t be at this party, that’s for sure.” Jake laughs it off, acknowledging the fact that their whole friend group really doesn’t belong here, but he senses that Sunghoon wants a more in-depth answer.
And so that’s what Jake will provide.
“But on a serious note, I honestly… don’t know. The life I had in Queensland and the life I have in soul as of this moment are so distinct from each other. I know I'm not supposed to take this so literally but my life could’ve gone one way or another had I just changed a single thing. Like meeting you, I guess." He shrugs, but Sunghoon can tell the sincerity in his answer, and so he’ll just leave it at that.
If Jake doesn’t know, then Sunghoon doesn’t either.
“But why are you asking, Hoon? Did Sunoo put you up to this? I’ve been declining that little fucker’s offers to talk, and he’s been pressing on why I’m moving to Sydney. Thinks it’s just more than just the scholarship, that I might be running away from something.”
He's not wrong about Sunoo being involved, because now, Sunghoon’s trying to find the right conversation to build him for this godforsaken confession.
“Well.. are you?” Sunghoon asks quietly, he doesn’t want to be pushy like Sunoo is, but he and Sunoo aren’t on the same hierarchy. Sunghoon is Jake’s best friend, not Sunoo. Surely, Jake can open up to him about something like this, right?
Jake’s mouth opens and closes a few times, like he’s pondering for an answer that will both please him and Sunghoon. “No. No, I'm not. I've got my shit figured out, Hoon, don’t worry about it.”
Sunghoon wants to call Jake out on his bullshit, but he can’t. He can tell Jake’s lying by his hesitance, from the smile that doesn’t reach his eyes, from the way he starts lightly sucking his cheeks in, they’re all quirks that Sunghoon has taken note of over the years.
Maybe it’s him. Maybe Sunghoon’s just in the way and overanalyzing things that don’t need to be looked over. Sunghoon can’t make Jake tie up his loose ends for him, that’s not his responsibility.
Clearly, Jake is gifted for what he does, and Sunghoon doesn’t even want to consider the thought of ruining it because of the way his brain wants to cling onto Jake forever.
“Well, um, we should start looking for the others, right?” Jake coughs out, clearly trying to drop the topic. He stands up and offers a hand to help Sunghoon up.
With a pursed smile, Sunghoon accepts it.
They've both never been so awkward in their ten years of being friends, and Sunghoon hates every aspect of it.
The two walk around for a little bit, finding the environment to be a little emptier than they last saw it, but Sunghoon’s heart is too heavy to even grasp the oddity of it.
That is, until they hear people gossiping around them.
“Did you hear? Doeun’s throwing an absolute fit in the garden right now!”
“When isn’t she? Sorry. What happened this time?”
They're both within enough earshot for the words to garner Jake and Sunghoon’s attention, a shared snicker erupting from both their throats now knowing the fact that Doeun’s own acquaintances aren’t very fond of her.
“I don’t know exactly but it’s something about her boyfriend always pissing her off. I don't think she was deserving of that guy — Heeseung? — anyways, he seemed sweet.” Someone mutters, and that’s all Sunghoon needs before he facepalms.
“Oh my goodness.” Sunghoon groans but his misery is replaced with butterflies when Jake holds onto his wrist.
“C’mon, Hoon, let’s go save hyung. Maybe we’ll run into Sunoo and Jay along the way.”
Let's just say it was an understatement for Sunghoon to try to navigate this stupidly large property without knowing the layout. Every garden they came across wasn't the garden, and unfortunately, they both knew that they probably missed the fighting time period anyways.
"This is so stupid, how many fucking outside areas are in this place?"
It seemed like lady luck was on their side from the way that they heard a shrill scream echoing throughout.
"Finally, we're getting somewhere." Jake grins, and they both furiously speed walk their way forward until they come across a large group of spectators.
And Heeseung and Doeun were in the middle of it all.
"I can't believe you embarrassed me like that in front of him!" Doeun whines, and with a grimace, Sunghoon leans down to whisper in Jake's ear.
"They're.. still going? What the hell is this even about?"
Jake's response is a sorrowful shake of the head.
“My love, was he really that important? I mean—” Heeseung tries to intercept with his own argument but it’s clear that he’s unsure of what to do.
“Yes! Yes, Heeseung, he was that fucking important! What can’t you get through that thick skull of yours? Also, I told you to stop calling me that stupid pet name, it’s revolting.” Doeun presses on, crossing her arms begrudgingly. She’s not taking a single thing her boyfriend says into account.
“Ah, right.” Heeseung mutters. It's obvious to anyone that he wants to stand his ground but Sunghoon sees that he’s still just as easily swayed by anything Doeun says or does.
Also, the term ‘my love’ is revolting? Holy shit, that woman has a heart of stone.
"I'm sorry then, I— I'll make sure not to make any fuss next time, my lo— Doeun, I promise." Heeseung stammers, trying to patch things up before the cracks in their imaginary ship stray too far, but Doeun makes no sign to reciprocate.
"There's no need, Heeseung. I've finalized my decision, and it is in both of our best interests if we end this, preferably now." Doeun smiles as she says these words that feel like a blade cutting through Heeseung's bruised heart.
"What? No, nonono, it's okay, we're okay, aren't we? Doeun, this isn't.." Heeseung is lost for words, not wanting to say more with such a large crowd surrounding them, and amidst the gazes of pity, his eyes meet with Jake and Sunghoon's.
"Look, it's— um, not you, it's me. I’ve been thinking about.. this," Doeun's hand goes to gesture particularly nothing as her nose scrunches up like she's encountered something terrible. Heeseung wonders if that's what she's thought of this relationship this whole time. "And I think we're just not the perfect pair. You're from an entirely different family, and the people who you surround yourself with apart from myself are... divine, but it's not for me."
"Is this about Jaehyun? If it is—"
"No! Nothing about Jaehyun, I just... don't feel the spark? Or whatever they say." Doeun huffs, her tone strained.
Sunghoon didn't know who the hell Jaehyun was, but all he got from those statements is that Doeun is probably a little cheater (Sunghoon knew it).
"No hard feelings, of course! Right, Hee?" She ends it off with a wide smile, beaming like she just won the lottery. Heeseung, on the other hand, is frozen, his mouth just opens and closes over and over again like a fish out of water.
"I'm terribly sorry for the scene that me and.. my ex-boyfriend have caused! the party is far from over, and I hope this didn't discourage anyone's spirits!" Doeun turns to everyone in the crowd and bows the full ninety degrees before walking away from the crime scene, and the mere switch-up makes Sunghoon's eye twitch.
The bundle of people start to disperse like a diffuser, and Sunghoon and Jake are left nearly speechless with the event that just occurred right before their very eyes.
"She's so dead, I swear to fucking—" Jake seethes, and Sunghoon has to squeeze his arm to get the other to calm down.
"Hold yourself back, assassin boy. Heeseung-hyung would kill you first— and stop clenching your fists!" Sunghoon swats Jake's shoulder. "C'mon, you can use that energy to comfort your friend who just got dumped in front of a bunch of exotic millionaires." Sunghoon sighs, and Jake reluctantly fixes his behavior.
The two make their way over to Heeseung, who hasn't moved an inch since.
"Hey, hyung." Jake greets with a smile, and Heeseung mirrors him, though it's obvious that the light in his eyes is dim.
“Sorry you guys had to see that, Doeun will.. will probably come around eventually. She always needs time for these things.” The eldest waves both of them off, a grin appearing on his face.
“Hyung, she called you her ex-boyfriend in front of everyone.” Sunghoon reminds, raising an eyebrow and said man tilts his head.
“Oh, that’s just her way of showing love!”
“You're hopeless.”
After having to practically drag Heeseung away from going to find Doeun because Sunghoon is 84.39% sure that his hyung is coping through denial (that might get him a restraining order if him and Jake didn’t let him do whatever he wanted) and hysteria, they finally reunite with Sunoo and Jay at the entrance.
“Heeseung-hyung, we heard what happened, are you good?” Sunoo immediately asks, and Heeseung blinks twice before answering.
“Huh? What happened?” He retorts, seeming a little lost.
“..The break-up? You just had one?” Sunoo narrows his eyes in skepticism, looking at the other like he’s insane. He kind of is right now.
“Oh, that. That wasn’t real. Doeun still loves me.” Heeseung giggles, dismissing the topic again as he looks around him frantically. “Actually, I should be looking for her, she might get mad if I'm gone too long.”
Everyone else share a look of worry. This is worse than they thought.
Heeseung seems ready to wander when Jay firmly grabs onto his arm. “Hell-fucking-no, you’re not. Someone grab his other arm and let’s get out of this damn place before we actually have to lock him up in a white-padded room.” He orders, and Sunoo happily takes on the role, looping his arm with Heeseung’s as the three make their way to the car.
“Do you actually think he’s okay?” Jake asks, and it takes Sunghoon a bit to realize that the other is talking to him.
“Heeseung-hyung will be okay.” Sunghoon assures, “That guy survived the incident, he’ll be off living fine without a girlfriend that barely even loved him anyways.”
No, Sunghoon will not be disclosing the contents of what the incident is, that’s something he never wants to remember for years to come.
“Yeah, I know, but still.” Jake stays silent momentarily before chuckling, “whatever, it’s cool. We should catch up with them before Jay leaves us here.” He tries shifting the focus before walking off as Sunghoon follows closely behind like a baby duckling.
Jake is more worried than he’d like to admit to Sunghoon, and that’s fine. After all, he’s the one who has known the eldest the longest, and even introduced Heeseung to the rest of the group. Not to mention the little period of time where Jake had a mega crush on him until Heeseung shared that he had his own admiration for one of the students in his music history club.
Those days were some of the worst of Sunghoon’s life, he swears.
Hearing what he thought was his star-crossed lover back then—and still is, by the way—gushing about another man with perfect pitch, basketball and gaming skills, and a composer with the ability to play the guitar and the piano?
Whether he may or may not have attempted to try playing the guitar that summer is between Sunghoon and his search history, and them only. Oh, and Sunoo, too.
When they both get to Jay’s SUV, Sunghoon opens the backdoor only to be met with Sunoo’s judgemental stare.
“You're making me sit with Mr. Nosy all the way back?” He groans, and Sunoo gasps dramatically with his hand over his heart like Sunghoon just wished death over his whole bloodline.
“Excuse me?”
“Oh, so I take it you’d rather have mopey back there.” Jay shoots back in retaliation, gesturing to Heeseung in the passenger seat, slumping and leaning into Jay’s side, mumbling nonsense. Sunghoon isn’t even sure how he’s gonna drive safely on these roads. He's not getting home tonight, is he?
Sunghoon’s silence is enough for Jay to snap a “that’s what Ithought”, and he and Jake squish their way into the vehicle as Sunoo moves aside for them.
“I didn’t want this either, okay! I wanted to sit with my gorgeous man, but Jay-hyung insisted that Heeseung-hyung stay with him, and now I have to third-wheel you two!” Sunoo hisses quietly into Sunghoon’s ear once he finally gets settled in, expressing his own frustration with the seating plan since he always calls shotgun beside Jay.
“You’re not third-wheeling, shut up.” Sunghoon retorts, wanting to say more before Jake tugs on his sleeve to show him a tiktok of a dog who looks like Gaeul rolling around in snow, and Sunghoon immediately whips his head to the other side, indulging in Jake and his stupid dog videos.
Sunoo sighs heavily and tries to get Jay’s attention, muttering something about how he’s always right.
Shamefully, he may have gotten sucked in by Jake’s smile and ignored Sunoo for the rest of the ride.
D-10
“Why do you look like shit?” is the first thing Jay asks him when Sunghoon arrives at their meet-up spot. They decided to have a little hangout even if it’s just him, Jay and Sunoo.
Yes, Sunghoon is technically third-wheeling and he absolutely despises it. Jake cancelled at the last minute due to a study group thing to do some prepping for his scholarship or something. Why does the love of Sunghoon’s life have to be a geek?
“Gee, thanks. I know my skin looks glowy, thank you very much.” Sunghoon deadpans back, deciding to save the.. not-so-friendly comments that initially popped up in his mind for another day. He's too damn tired for this.
“No, but seriously, you look like you got clawed at by a demon or something, your face is all sunken in.” Sunoo frowns, fixing his hair with the mirror that’s on the back of his phone case—if that isn’t self-love at its peak, Sunghoon isn’t sure what is. “Are you sure your apartment complex isn’t haunted, hyung?”
“For the last time, no. You have got to stop believing those stories the old lady at your internship tells you, Sun.” Sunghoon replies with a sigh, sitting down opposite to Sunoo and Jay, who stare at him skeptically. It's probably the fact that he looks like a walking zombie right now.
And honestly, even if his apartment building somehow was haunted, Sunghoon is slightly convinced that life with the ghosts would be a better fate than whatever hell he’s being forced to go through right now.
“Okay, whatever, who cares about ghosts? The real question is why do you look so bad in the first place? You’re supposed to be the token guy in the friend group who has perfect skin without using much skincare.” Jay raises an eyebrow, and Sunghoon isn’t sure whether to feel flattered or not.
Actually, knowing Jay, Sunghoon should know absolutely nothing should be taken as a compliment.
“Thank you? the reason why this—” Sunghoon gestures to his face, “—happened is Lee Heeseung, you sickos.” He hisses, not even bothering to add a honorific to the end of Heeseung’s name, that’s how borderline pissed Sunghoon’s been lately.
“Heeseung-hyung? what did he do?”
“He’s been going to these stupid frat parties ever since he and Doeun broke up, and he always drags me along so he has a ‘buddy’ or whatever.” Sunghoon groans, slumping in his seat as he whines just thinking about what horrors he’s endured for the past week.
Since he and Heeseung live in the same building, his unit only being a few doors down from Heeseung’s, Sunghoon naturally passes by the guy a bit more than the rest of their friend group, which has led to him practically having a constant look-in on his hyung’s plans.
Heeseung—though he refuses to admit it—and his coping mechanism has been drowning himself in alcohol and random girls (before they back off once he starts weeping thinking about Doeun and Sunghoon has to drag him out of there) ever since what happened at that birthday party.
Sunghoon feels like a caretaker and he’s not sure how to take that.
And yes, realistically, he does have the free will to decline each time Heeseung tells him to tag along to each of these events—and oh, how much Sunghoon wishes he did—he’s not knowingly leaving a ticking-time-bomb-Heeseung all by himself at some random party. He’s pretty sure he almost got beat up yesterday when Sunghoon looked away for a mere two minutes to go piss.
Sunghoon never even drinks when he goes, but the blaring music and the squishiness of being crowded with so many people he barely knows combined with a Sunghoon who’s basically just a nanny for a man older than him is a deadly disaster waiting to explode.
“Oh yikes, you have it rough, hyung.” Sunoo comments, a little distracted from the conversation.
“I’m pretty sure he’s going to one tonight as well, fuck my life.”
Then Sunghoon witnesses Sunoo share a look with Jay, like they have a mutual understanding of some sort, and of course they do, Sunoo’s witched Jay into his voodoo telepathic powers or something.
In short, a bad idea has just surfaced.
“We'll come along with you, then.” Jay says, and Sunghoon gawks at them because why would you voluntarily put yourself through that? (He does, but we won’t splurge on that fact too much)
“Are you guys insane? I literally just told you those parties are hell on earth.” Sunghoon spots Sunoo furiously typing away on his phone across from and he feels his eye start to twitch.
“Yeah, but me and Jay-hyung are bored and if it’s as bad as you’re making it out to be, then get some free entertainment tonight whilst also making sure Heeseung-hyung doesn’t fall into the punch bowl or something.” Sunoo shrugs, and Jay merely nods vigorously like the accomplice he’s become.
Sunghoon doesn’t want them to come because he knows damn well he would just end up babysitting three people instead of one, and god forbid Jay and Sunoo get near a private room there.
“It's not happening, Sun. There’s nothing that’ll get me to tolerate this—”
“Oh, Jake-hyung just said he’s free to tag along.” Sunoo cuts him off, and looks up to make eye contact with Sunghoon, and he knows he just found the older’s weakness. He should’ve known honestly, he’s been feeling the vibrations emitting from his phone in his jacket pocket the whole time.
“I’ll ask Heeseung-hyung for the location,” Sunghoon replies quickly, almost robotically as he fumbles with his mobile device and goes to Heeseung’s contact. He can see Sunoo’s smug-ass expression from his peripheral and is begging all of his manpower to not punch his beloved blonde friend in the jaw.
But maybe, just maybe, this time, Sunghoon will put up with all of their antics if Jake’s by his side to help him out, too.
Casual bro-to-bro thing. Yep.
And somehow that’s how Sunghoon ends up attending his eighth frat party in the span of a week (he’s pretty sure he’s gone to more this month than he has ever throughout his whole timeline, but oh well), except this time instead of keeping watch of Heeseung alone, he has three other babysitters to help him out.
That is, until Jay and Sunoo disappear from his sight barely after they manage to get through the front door.
“What the fuck? Where’d they go?” Jake yells over the music droning in and out of their ears, going up on his tip-toes to try to find the duo throughout the majority of people swarming around them.
Sunghoon wants to coo from how cute he finds it.
“I don’t even know how we lost them so quickly,” Sunghoon replies, also keeping a sharp eye for either Jay or Sunoo whilst making sure Heeseung’s by his side for now by gripping onto the older’s sweater.
“Ah, I give up.” Jake sighs exasperatedly, “whatever, I have Jay’s number if things get bad. I never call that guy unless it’s legitimately important.”
“That is if he actually picks up,” Sunghoon rolls his eyes while guiding them to a vacant spot near the kitchen. In the end, he ultimately knows that Jay and Sunoo are fine, the two fuckers probably just wanted to sneak off to have alone time.
He’s not even sure why they agreed on coming in the first place. Then again, Sunoo is the reason why Jake’s here with him right now, so Sunghoon will keep his peace for the time being.
“Sunghoon, you do know you can let go now, right?” Heeseung raises his eyebrows, referring to Sunghoon’s hand gripping onto the side of his clothes. “People are gonna think you’re underage, or even worse, that you’re my boyfriend.”
With that statement, Sunghoon automatically lets go of his hyung with a shudder. He doesn’t even want to entertain the thought of dating Heeseung, that’s like him dating his older cousin or something.
“You wish, man.” He makes a face, but it quickly transforms into a look of fondness just as he catches Jake giggling at their interaction.
“I can’t imagine you and him together, you guys don’t really fit as a pair, honestly. And who would like Heeseung-hyung?” Jake adds on his two cents, wiping imaginary tears from his eyes.
“Jaeyun, you were literally the one that had the fattest crush on—”
“Keep your mouth shut, Sunghoon!” Jake hisses like he’s about to unleash a curse as his hand goes over his mouth, muffling the rest of Sunghoon’s speech. Oh, right. He forgot that Heeseung didn’t know about that.
But he doesn’t give a damn about what Heeseung knows and doesn’t right now, not when the softness of Jake’s palm is pressed up against his lips.
And perhaps he’s dreamt of kissing the back of Jake’s hand like a prince, because his best friend deserves to be pampered and treated like royalty. Sunghoon would do all that.
If Jake would let him.
It’s warm and comforting and he can feel the heat rushing up to his cheeks but before he knows it, the gentle touch is gone.
“Huh? I wasn’t paying attention, who’d you like, Jake?” Heeseung asks, a little distracted from the game of beer pong being played not too far from them.
“Nobody!”
“If you say so.” Heeseung shrugs, because he isn’t pushy like that. Sunghoon knows this.
Heeseung’s never been an overly nosy person who demands to know everything, he just let people know that he was always willing to listen to however much that person wanted to share. He was forgiving, too, overlooking most details and giving everyone he meets the benefit of the doubt.
It's probably why he let Doeun walk all over him for so long.
Sunghoon didn’t exactly get him at first. These days, making sure to know when people are acting abnormal towards you is key to figuring them out. If you keep giving them chances, it starts to become meaningless.
But Heeseung doesn’t find it meaningless, Sunghoon realized. His hyung just has faith in everyone, and while it isn’t realistic, it’s a good mindset to have. It became the reason why Sunghoon started to see how Jake came to like him so much.
“You guys don’t have to do this, you know that, right?” Heeseung shifts the topic, leaning on the counter behind him and grinning.
“Do what?” Jake frowns.
“Babysit me like I’m a kid. Sunghoon, I know you hate coming along.” he snickers, but his expression doesn’t carry the normal cheeriness that Heeseung typically exudes. And yeah, Sunghoon can’t deny that he dreads each time he walks into a property that reeks of alcohol and weed, but he still does every time.
“I’m a grown man, surely I can handle a college frat.” Heeseung adds, and Sunghoon holds back his urge to say that he’s only a year younger than him.
“Yeah, you can, but you’re like, unstable. Just yesterday, I had to save you from getting jumped by a few guys.” Sunghoon reminds him, remembering himself that Heeseung could be whining about Doeun as soon as a kick of alcohol gets into his system—his hyung’s a bit of a lightweight.
“I’m not as heartbroken as I was yesterday.” Heeseung states confidently, “Doeun posted this photo on her instagram with the guy she cheated on me with, and I don't know, something just clicked for me.”
“Good, none of us liked her anyways— fuck, ow!” Jake snorts but Sunghoon is quick to shut him up by elbowing him in the side harshly. Were his words true? Absolutely, but the wound in Heeseung’s heart is far too fresh for any of them to be making declarations on how they really felt about Doeun.
“Sunghoon-ah, don’t hit him. What was that, Jake?” Heeseung scolds him—Sunghoon knows he was right for doing that, whatever—and tilts his head towards the two. For a second, he took on that motherly role of the group that he and Jay seem to interchange from.
“Nothing. Must have been the wind..” Jake coughs, opening his mouth again to say something else when he instead yelps from a sudden crashing sound near them.
Sunghoon looks behind only to see a box of soju bottles shattered on the ground, along with a guy who keeps dropping more and more of them individually as the glass begins to break more toward them. The reason for this? He doesn’t fucking know, but he and Jake share a look of a mix of shock and confusion.
“Don't stay near, Jaeyun.” Sunghoon says sternly, pulling Jake aside so that they’re both farther away from all the wreckage. He knows that Jake doesn’t really favor being near sharp objects, stemming from his deep hatred for needles during his childhood, and the guy was so stunned he didn’t move back.
“Uh, yeah.” Jake murmurs in response, a flush starting to spread on his face as the tips of his ears turn alarmingly red. They both make eye contact for a disturbingly long amount of time, and Sunghoon swears he would’ve kissed Jake’s plump and soft lips if his brain didn’t decide to feed him a sudden vision of Bambi.
Bambi? What the actual fuck, why would he be thinking about that damn deer when he could be getting his motherfucking bag?!
Then it clicks.
Sunghoon abandons the thought of giving Jake a big, fat smooch—in an alternate universe, he mourns—to whip his head to where Heeseung was leaning on the counter only to realize that the man entirely disappeared from sight.
Oh, this is bad.
“Heeseung-hyung?” He calls out, as if that would even do anything in the environment they’re placed in. Jake seems to have caught on too, separating himself from Sunghoon’s side entirely to go looking over the crowd to spot the eldest.
Look, the Heeseung they were speaking to just moments ago was fine. Sunghoon noticed the shift in his demeanor, he’s definitely more down to earth than he’s been throughout the past few days.
But unsupervised Heeseung at a frat party is a completely different story. For all Sunghoon knows, his hyung could be balls deep in marijuana and weed right now.
If Heeseung ends up a druggie by tonight, Sunghoon is not blaming himself, but whoever that fucker with the soju bottles was.
“How the hell could he have disappeared? We weren’t even distracted for that long!” Jake groans, giving up his tiny search for Heeseung for now.
Sunghoon begs to differ that statement. In fact, he doesn't know, but he’s pretty sure that he and Jake were looking—staring with heart eyes—for hours! (he fucking wishes)
What Sunghoon does know is that he is absolutely not leaving this party without making sure Heeseung isn’t dead or something.
“Yunie, you do know this means we have to go find him now, right?”
“..Agh, yeah.” He groans.
And so that is how operation: find hyung!! begins, Sunghoon and Jake pushing through crowds, carefully watching party games just in case Heeseung decided to be a contestant, and even checking the supply closets in the house for final reassurance.
Before he knows it, they cover the entirety of the first floor without any result or guarantee that Heeseung’s not on the level at all since there’s this thing called moving around. Sunghoon’s doing a lot of it right now.
He has a very Heeseung-shaped problem on his hands tonight, and Sunghoon knows he’s gonna obtain a scolding from Jay at the end of the day if they don’t find him even if the fucker himself didn’t help search or nothing.
“Let's check upstairs now?” Jake sighs, gulping down the rest of his water in one go once their allotted fifteen-minute break is over. Sunghoon wants to protest, but at this point, he genuinely needs to know if Heeseung is okay.
So they both trudge up the steps and try to navigate through the area, trying to check every single room and instantly backing off if they start hearing weird noises from the other side—Sunghoon is not being traumatized today. He gets enough of that as is from Sunoo and Jay’s situationship PDA.
They seem to find everything but Heeseung, ranging from a group of guys watching a League of Legends tournament game on a big TV (Sunghoon was so disappointed when Heeseung wasn’t a part of them) to a room where people were playing spin the bottle.
No matter how many people he asks, or how many places they search, Sunghoon and Jake come up ultimately empty. They really only have the outside areas to look in left, and maybe a redo of the first floor if they have time.
“Hey, Hoon, we haven’t checked this room yet, right?” Jake nudges him, and Sunghoon peers over to see that he’s gesturing to the room at the end of the corridor, the door slightly ajar.
“No, I don't think so. Let's go, let’s go.” Sunghoon gets up from where he’s leaning on the balcony railing with a soft grunt, and the duo make their way to the door.
He's already making predictions on what could be going on in there. Perhaps another stupid party game? A loner trying to get away from the crowd, a drunk-ass hobo? Hopefully not a couple, then at least lock the damn bedroom up.
“It's your turn to open the door, Jaeyun.” Sunghoon grins, shoving Jake so that he’s in front, earning a scowl from the latter.
“Fuck you, Sunghoon.”
And Sunghoon would love to.
Woah, who said that?
But with a weighted sigh, Jake pushes the doorway open just a little so he can peek his head in.
“Hoon, there’s no one here, it’s empty.”
“Ah, really?” He replies, opening it all the way to reveal just a plain bedroom. Looks like it’s for guests, it’s not really decorated or filled with anything significant. Well, in that case..
Sunghoon finds himself plopping onto the floor, laying down on the floor with a heavy groan. Oh, the carpet’s soft. Jake shrugs and enters too, shutting the door behind him.
His social battery’s been drained by asking every person who was willing to listen if they’ve seen a cherry-haired, six foot man who looks hysterical roaming around.
“Don't fall asleep or anything, I'm not dragging your grandpa-ass back to your unit.” Jake complains, kicking Sunghoon’s side gently with a frown and yelping when he decides to attack back by grabbing onto Jake’s ankle and tugging playfully.
“For one, I'm literally younger than you. And secondly, isn’t it past your bedtime? I swear, Jaeyun, you have the sleep schedule of someone in a retirement home,” Sunghoon retorts easily, already knowing how to counter all of Jake’s teasing remarks.
“Shut up!”
Jake’s ears flush red in the dim setting, pulling his ankle out of Sunghoon’s grip and walking over to the open window on the other side of the room, trying to close it.
“It’s so cold in here.. oh? There’s a fight going on outside.” Jake comments, rubbing his arms up and down even though he has a sweater, and Sunghoon rises like a vampire out of his coffin to go look because Sunoo’s nosiness has rubbed off on him.
And sure enough, there are two guys in the front yard trying to punch at each other, but their movements are slow and delayed. He makes sure none of the spectators or the damn participants themselves are Heeseung before chuckling at the weird sight.
"I could totally take them on and win, right?” Sunghoon goads, seeking minor validation from Jake as he shadowboxes at his face, making sound effects and different moves. He tagged along to a few lessons with Riki before he left to japan with Jungwon.
It’s not even him entirely being cocky, he swears! He's been going to the gym with Jay a lot, and the results show in his sculpted arms, biceps that people wanna bite into and everything.
“No way. you’re being dumb.” Jake scoffs, but the way the corners of his mouth begin to twitch up tells Sunghoon everything he needs to know.
“Do you really think so? I would do this, bam!” Sunghoon starts playfully shoving Jake now, and before he knows it, the two of them just start going at it—not like that. Sunghoon doesn’t have blessings from Jake’s parents yet—tackling and rolling around like they’re wrestling.
It’s like Sunghoon’s back in high school again, playing rugby with Jake solely for the reason he just wanted to spend more time with him. Except high school Sunghoon was scrawny and awkward, Sunghoon now is just a bit more stronger, and he finds himself pinning down Jake with ease.
It’s a position that isn’t particularly friendly, and Sunghoon unfortunately only realizes that until after he’s decided to cage Jake in with his arms underneath him, and he blushes furiously. He’s fucked up.
Their bodies aren’t necessarily touching, but that doesn’t mean the heat radiating from Jake isn’t driving him to the absolute brink of insanity.
Jake looks so pretty, his hair fanned out around him on the ground like a halo making him look like he was sent from above. His eyes are darting around rapidly and his cheeks are flushed, Sunghoon gets entranced just from staring.
“..So I'd win, right?” Sunghoon blurts out like a complete loser—why the hell is he still talking about drunk fights, what’s wrong with him?—he’s trying to hold back from staring at Jake’s lips and thinking about how close they are right now.
“Yeah— uh, yeah, probably.” Jake murmurs, and Sunghoon snaps out of it, realizing that he’s still on top of the damn guy and getting off quickly with a dry cough.
“Sorry.”
“No, no.. you’re good.”
“We should probably get back to looking for Heeseung-hyung again.” Sunghoon chuckles nervously, trying to shift the topic desperately so that he doesn’t have to face the situation he just put himself and Jake in.
He stretches a little before walking over to the door, that is, until Jake stops him with a tug on the back of his shirt.
“Let's stay for a little while longer. My head still hurts from the music.” The older gnaws at the bottom of his lip, his teeth nipping at the skin. It's a habit Sunghoon has picked up on knowing Jake for so long.
“Mn, we can do that.” Sunghoon nods, following along with Jake’s request easily as he drops back onto the carpet beside the latter. The two of them lay side by side. It's not awkward silence between them, it’s comfortable, and yet Sunghoon still gets restless.
“To think I should've been asleep about three hours ago, and I'm still here because of Heeseung-hyung ditching us. The Heeseung I knew wouldn’t let sight of us in a place like this even if we’re only a year younger than him.” Jake mutters flatly, staring up at the dark ceiling. His usual routine streak of knocking out at 9PM broken.
“Love changes people, it’s weird like that, Yun. Give him a break, he’s still fresh out of the break up.” Sunghoon chides him, because he knows how it feels. He knows very well what position Heeseung’s in. “Case in point, you were a completely different person when you liked Heeseung-hyung.” He adds to lighten the mood.
"I was not!” Jake gasps like he’s been wounded, sitting up to get serious and Sunghoon does the same.
“You changed your hairstyle to be the same as hyung’s crush at the time. You looked so funny with your hair parted unevenly.” Sunghoon cackles, reminiscing on the ridiculous things Jake would do to get Heeseung’s attention.
“Okay, fine, whatever! The past is in the past, and what matters is that I don't like him anymore. You can’t know how it feels, have you even liked somebody?” Jake inquires, cocking his head to the side.
The question makes Sunghoon freeze for a split second.
He guesses there’s been a bit of a difference. Over the years, he’s heard out every single petty crush Jake has garnered—from the ones that lasted barely a week, to celebrity crash outs, and even the ones where Jake seemed to yearn the hardest.
Sunghoon, on the other hand?
Whenever Jake would pry if he had ever felt romantic attraction to somebody, Sunghoon was forced to lie and shake his head, even if the said romantic attraction was right in front of him. He's never told Jake about a crush because he hadn’t had any actual options considered aside from the guy himself.
He wonders if that makes him look picky or closed off.
“I have.” Sunghoon answers directly, and clearly that wasn’t even close to the answer Jake was expecting from the way his eyes nearly bug out of his head.
“Seriously? And you didn’t even tell me, you jerk!” Jake scowls, swatting the other on the arm. "I tell your stone-cold ass everything.”
“It wasn't even serious or anything, it barely lasted.” Sunghoon lies, suddenly more afraid now that the confession is out in the air. What if Jake figures it out? Well, Sunghoon wants him to know, but he doesn’t know to fucking handle things.
“Whatever. So who was it?”
“I— I'm sorry?” Sunghoon gulps.
“Who was the weirdo you fell for?” Jake asks, getting closer and tilting his head side to side curiously like he’s trying to figure Sunghoon out.
Does Sunghoon want Jake to figure him out, though?
He’s been nagged at—mostly by Sunoo—to confess for years. To just get the words out there and let them settle. I like you. I like you, Sim Jaeyun.
But what if Jake wants Sunghoon to take it back? What if it changes their relationship and he legitimately loses Jake? Not to Australia or his scholarship, but genuinely loses him? He doesn't even want to imagine that reality, living his life without Jake by his side.
“Ja..” Sunghoon vomits out the first syllable, and he notices it immediately, the shift in Jake’s gaze. The recognition of numerous options that still include him.
C’mon, this is easy. All you have to say is Jake. Jaeyun. Anything, really, it’s a simple concept—
“J-Jay.” Sunghoon ends up blurting out instead, his cheeks all heated and he watches as Jake leans back.
“Jay? Park Jay? Park Jongseong, our friend, Jay?” Jake repeats, saying the name over and over again for confirmation.
“..Yes?” Sunghoon answers, and it absolutely pains him to say. He wouldn’t like that damn American in a million years, even if someone tried forcing him to.
And yet, now he’s forcing himself to deceive Jake into thinking he had a crush on Jay. Oh, the consequences of chickening out are hitting quite hard as of this moment.
“Wah, you and Jay, huh? I can't imagine that,—” because it isn’t real. “—you two are more like a Tom and Jerry type of situation to me.” Jake hums.
“It was just a looks thing, I thought he was cute when he first transferred. I don't like him anymore.” Sunghoon just spins on more to the web of lies he’s creating, and his tone is slightly strained under the surface. He does not need Jake thinking that he has feelings for him.
And somewhere else in the house, Jay sneezes.
“Yeah, guess that makes sense. So your type was Jay, huh?” Jake ponders over the thought, a finger tapping his chin. He's really dragging this on, isn’t he?
“Leave it alone, seriously.” Sunghoon groans, putting a hand over his face. “And don’t tell anyone, I'm serious,” he grumbles after. The last thing he needs besides the humiliation of people thinking that he had a crush on Jay is for Sunoo to kick him in the balls too.
“It must have been hard for you back then. When Jay transferred to our high school, we were shipped with each other a lot, weren’t we?” Jake reminds Sunghoon, who instantly remembers all the times when people had asked them if they were a couple since they were always attached at the hip.
“..I didn’t mind that.” Sunghoon replies even if it loosely contradicts the story he just conjured about him and Jay. In fact, he was actually secretly pleased each time an unsuspecting student thought they were all lovey-dovey (he wishes).
“You didn’t?”
“Why would I? Everybody loved you because they thought you were Wasian and pretty, you simply boosted my popularity, Yunie.” Sunghoon manages to cover his real reasons rather quickly, Jake taking the bait and falling for it.
“Seriously, you’re pushing it, Sunghoon-ah.” He scoffs, but there’s a beaming smile on his lips as he laughs.
Sunghoon thinks that Jake’s smile is one of the prettiest features about him. Wide and bright, it naturally draws him in. And before he knows it, he’s zoning out while staring at the brunette like a weirdo.
Tthe said person eventually notices, and it somehow commences a little staring match between the two.
Sunghoon can’t fucking take it anymore. Between wondering what life will be like without Jake in Seoul, to questioning if he should just go for it and never look back, he’s always been torn on what he should do. He doesn’t initiate, that’s not what he does, Sunghoon hates facing change.
Yet somehow, he can’t stop himself from reaching up to grab Jake’s chin to tilt it to face him, leaning closer. He can see the way the other’s eyes widen before squeezing shut like he’s bracing for impact.
But just before their lips can touch, there’s a series of rapid knocks and murmurs.
“It’s not locked, just open it!”
“If it's a couple having sex in there, I'm killing you. Sunghoon! Jake! Are you guys here?”
Sunghoon recognizes the two voices quickly, and instantly pulls away from Jake, who just keeps his head down. The door swings open, and there is Jay and Sunoo, peeking through.
“What were you guys doing in here?” Sunoo eyes them both suspiciously, catching on to the flush on both of their cheeks. “We found Heeseung in the pool, by the way.”
“We—”
“Nothing. Sunghoon, let’s go.” Jake cuts him off easily, his tone distant as he stands up and dusts himself off, going to chat with the other two.
There's something swirling in Sunghoon’s gut now, filthy and heavy as it starts to consume him.
Regret. Deep, anxiety-filled regret.
It’s clouding his head until there’s nothing left. But Sunghoon still trudges along behind the rest of them, wondering if what he just did killed something before it could even start.