Archive of Our Own

“I think that’s everything.” Juwon said as he set down the last box of stuff. He wiped his hands on his jeans, then stretched his arms out as he yawned. “Need any help unpacking at all?”

JL shook his head, “Nah, all good. Thanks, Juwonie.” He said, “Don’t want to keep you from your own stuff. Or a nap, apparently.”

Juwon reached out to clap JL on the back, “Yeah, as much as I’d love to sit and watch you colour-coordinate your boring plain t-shirts, I have better things to do.”

JL’s mouth dropped open, “Hey. I don’t organise my clothes by colour.” He deadpanned, though they both knew that was a lie, and JL didn’t exactly try very hard to defend himself from Juwon’s comment.

“You need to get a better fashion sense.” Juwon said with a grin, “Maybe then you’d finally get laid.”

“Get out.”

“Alright, alright!” Juwon held his hands up in surrender, laughing as he backed towards the door again. “I’ll see you when lectures get started. Text me if you do need a hand with anything, or if your new roommate turns out to be a serial killer or something.”

“Yeah, will do.” JL said, rolling his eyes, though the smile that he struggled to suppress showed he wasn’t particularly annoyed. “Thanks for the hand with the boxes.”

“No problem, see you later!”

The door closed behind Juwon, leaving JL alone in the two-person dorm room.

It was quiet, but he knew that it wouldn’t last long. He exhaled and looked around the room. Two beds, two desks, two wardrobes, a bathroom, and a single narrow window above one of the beds.

He had been praying, like actually praying, that this year, he would finally be assigned a single dorm. He’d done everything right - filled in the application forms on the day they were sent out, sent multiple politely worded emails setting out the reasons for why he should be considered for a single. He didn’t know what more they could possibly want from him. His first born child, maybe?

He’d gone through it all – a roommate so crazy that he’d locked JL out of the room for a week, meaning that he’d had to go and stay with Juwon and immediately move out afterwards. Another who would kick him out at any time of day so he could have “Mind blowing sex” (his roommate’s words, not JL’s) with his girlfriend. Even one who always stunk of cigarettes to the point that it made him nauseous.

Clearly, the accommodation office had something against him. That was the only possible explanation. For the third year in a row, he’d been assigned a random roommate, requests completely ignored. He hadn’t exactly been upset when the email with his room assignment had come through, he wasn’t that kind of person, but that didn’t stop him from being disappointed.

At least he got first pick of bed, this time, and that was something.

Choosing the bed by the window was the obvious choice. It was furthest from the door, which, despite being in a room for two people, at least gave him the illusion of privacy. He gave the room a quick inspection for any damage, before grabbing the nearest box, which was labelled STUDY.

He set it down on the bare mattress and peeled back the tape, mentally thanking his past self for at least being organised when he’d packed the boxes to store in Juwon’s house over summer. The box was filled with his textbooks from the past couple of years, as well as a stack of notebooks, a pencil case with a broken zip that was being held together by a couple of safety pins, and a few pens that had fallen out of said pencil case.

He really needed to treat himself to a new pencil case.

He picked up one of the notebooks and started to make a stack of them on the shelf above the desk.

He emptied the box, flattened it, and tucked it under the bed next to his unpacked suitcase that he’d brought with him from the Philippines.

He moved onto the second, one that he’d filled with his toiletries. It probably seemed a bit pathetic, organising all of his shampoo, body wash, toothpaste, and other toiletries, but he liked to have at least a bit of routine, it’s not like any of the stuff would stay best for very long though. He unloaded the contents of the box into a basket that he brought into the bathroom.

He set the basket down and arranged everything inside it properly, then set a cup with his toothbrush and toothpaste on the counter.

When he returned back to the main room, he continued to work methodically until all of his stuff was put away and his bed made. Clothes were placed into drawers, charging cables placed into cable organisers to avoid them getting tangled (though, they would probably stop being organised within a week of grabbing things in a hurry), hoodies hung up in the wardrobe.

When he was finally done, his room looked somewhat like it belonged to him. A single poster of V from BTS above his bed (a poster that he’d bought a year ago, but never got around to hanging up in his previous dorm). Apart from that, the walls remained bare. He made a mental note to go out and buy some more posters, deciding it could be nice to add a bit more colour to the drab yellow-ish walls of the room.

He sat at his desk and opened the envelope of photographs that his mum had printed out for him, and he flicked through them. There was one of him with his whole family when he was a child, on a family holiday somewhere, and lots more of them at home in Muntinlupa, as well as a few of him with friends. He was picking out a few to put up on his pin board when he heard the sound of a key card beeping on the lock.

The door swung open, and a small group of guys walked in, laughing and chatting over each other, all carrying boxes of varying sizes. One of the guys was struggling to carry a mini fridge, swearing at the others for making him carry it. Another had a large duffel bag slung over a shoulder and was wearing a dark cap, which was swiftly stolen off of his head by one of his friends, who held it over his head like they were thirteen.

The boy stopped in front of JL, still holding a crate of stuff. He had a bright grin at the sight of him, “Hey! You must be Jay Lawrence. I’m Jeongwoo.”

So, this was Seo Jeongwoo, his roommate.

JL stared at him, and for a moment, he didn’t say anything. What was he supposed to do, when the boy grinning at him was so good-looking? He was wearing a dark hoodie, his sleeves pushed up to his elbows to show lean forearms. His curls had been flattened a little by the cap, and were springing up wildly. His eyes were bright, and he looked genuinely excited to meet JL.

JL realised that he’d been staring.

His cheeks warmed, and he shifted awkwardly in his chair, staring at Jeongwoo, who remained standing there waiting for his response.

JL cleared his throat and lifted a hand in a small, painfully awkward wave. “Hey.”

Hey? Was that seriously all he could manage? One singular, pathetic syllable?

Jeongwoo's smile faltered, but he recovered quickly, turning back to his friends as if he hadn’t noticed JL’s lack of words. He started directing his friends on where to put the things they were carrying, while JL turned back to sorting through his printed out photos, hoping that his heart would stop beating so quickly in his chest.

He forced himself to focus on the photographs. All he could think about was the sound of Jeongwoo's voice as he chatted with his friends, and JL knew already that sharing a space with him was only going to make himself more aware of his own awkwardness.

The boys were still there, talking over each other. There were a few thuds as things were dropped on the floor and moved around, then someone let out a low whistle. “You upgraded your PC?” He said.

“Yep!” Jeongwoo replied, “I’ll text you a photo when it’s all set up. It’s sick!”

Eventually, the other boys left. Behind him, he could hear Jeongwoo saying his goodbyes to his friends, promising they’d hang out soon, and then it was just them.

He picked up his phone, and sent a message to Juwon.

JL: I think I just seriously embarrassed myself in front of my extremely hot roommate

Juwon: LOLLLLLL good luck

JL: I’m being serious, I couldn’t say more than one word to him without blushing

Juwon: How hot are we talking?????

He stared at the screen for a moment, then let the phone fall onto the desk with a small clatter, fat lot of help Juwon was.

He kept his attention on the photographs, looking around for the thumbtacks he’d brought with him, but his thoughts betrayed him, drifting back to the glimpse of Jeongwoo's forearm and how he’d been holding that crate like it weighed nothing, and how he’d smiled at him as he took the time to try and introduce himself properly.

Get a grip, JL.

Eventually, he turned to look. Jeongwoo had a lot more stuff than him. Like, a lot. The PC setup turned out to take up most of his desk space thanks to the two monitors that he’d somehow managed to lug up the stairs, along with a pile of tangled cables that made JL shudder at the thought of untangling. A pile of hoodies had been thrown onto the bed, all unfolded and crumpled.

Jeongwoo wrestled a box open, then looked up and caught JL looking.

He snapped his head back to the desk so fast he nearly gave himself whiplash.

There was a pause, then, “Er… you alright?”

Avoiding looking at Jeongwoo forever really wasn’t going to be an option, so JL forced himself to turn properly and look at him, “Yeah,” he said, trying to sound as normal as possible (and definitely failing, judging by the way his voice went up an octave at the end of the word, making it sound more like a question), “Uh, do you want some help?”

Jeongwoo blinked, surprised by the offer. “Yeah, please.” He said, “Uh—you can grab that box over there and stick everything in the bathroom in this.” He handed over a plastic basket, not dissimilar to his own, and pointed at a box that sat near the bathroom door.

“Okay.” He said, taking the basket from Jeongwoo and trying not to sound too relieved that he had given him a task that didn’t involve being in the same room as him and having to make awkward small talk. He crossed the room to pick up the small box and retreated back into the bathroom, and shut the door most of the way.

He unpacked Jeongwoo's box slowly on purpose, taking the time to line up the items on his side of the counter. By the time he was half way done, he heard the door open, and Jeongwoo appeared in the doorway.

“Hey, just checking you’re good in here, you were taking a long time.” He said, “Need a hand?”

JL shook his head, not looking up, “I’m fine.”

Jeongwoo nodded slowly, “Alright.” He said awkwardly, but he didn’t move. Then,he tried again, “You’re from the Philippines?”

“Mmhm.”

JL willed himself to say something else, to follow up his response with an addition that any normal person would include. Mention that he’d grown up in Muntilupa, or talk about home, literally anything. But the words didn’t come.

Jeongwoo stood there for a moment waiting, but once it became clear that JL wasn’t going to elaborate, he spoke. “Cool.” He muttered, turning and excusing himself back into the room.

JL stared down at the last few items in the box, feeling suddenly guilty. He dropped his head into his hands and let out a quiet groan.

He hadn’t meant to be rude. He really didn’t want Jeongwoo to think that he disliked him, because he didn’t dislike him at all – he seemed really lovely. The problem was the fact that he’d not even known the guy for an hour and was already planning their wedding in his head. It was quite hard for him to act normal around someone he thought was so attractive. Besides, what were the chances of him liking guys?

And now, he’d already managed to pull away from Jeongwoo and made his own awkwardness look like he was judging him. He closed his eyes and let out a long exhale through his nose.

Eventually, he picked up the empty box, flattened it, and carried it back into the room. Jeongwoo was crouched by his desk, fumbling with the mess of tangled cables, his hoodie riding up ever so slightly at the back. Meanwhile, JL walked back to his desk and pretended to sort through the stuff on his desk for the third time that day, very deliberately not looking at the strip of bare skin on Jeongwoo's back.

In the silence, Jeongwoo spoke again. “So.” He said, “What do you study?”

He glanced over, to find that the man hadn’t looked up, and was still focusing on the cables with complete determination. He swallowed, “Automotive engineering.”

Jeongwoo looked up at him, genuinely interested. “Oh, shit. So you’re, like, really smart.” He laughed, “I study business. Way less cool than you.”

JL hummed in agreement, not really sure what to say in response. Thanks just felt wrong, and business sounds fun would just be a blatant lie. The silence stretched again, and Jeongwoo shifted uncomfortably, swearing under his breath as he abandoned the cables.

“You’re in third year?” Jeongwoo asked.

JL nodded, “Yeah.”

“You been staying on campus the whole time?”

He nodded again.

“Same building?”

JL shook his head, “No, different block.”

“Right. So you’re like, a veteran then. You know all the rules of like… living in a dorm.” Jeongwoo said, “I lived off campus a couple of years with my friends but half of them are on study abroad, so here I am. Mum wouldn’t let me take another gap year, I already took two before starting uni.”

JL listened while Jeongwoo talked, then quietly said, “There aren’t really any rules.”

“There are always unspoken rules.” Jeongwoo said with a laugh, gesturing around the room, “Like… I’m guessing that you’ll murder me if I leave my stuff on your side.”

JL looked around Jeongwoo's already messy side, then didn’t say anything. He was by no means good at keeping his stuff tidy longer than a few days, but Jeongwoo found his lack of response greatly funny. “Noted, I’ll keep my stuff contained. Promise!”

They both knew that was a lie.

JL turned his attention back to his desk, wanting to look at anything that wasn’t Jeongwoo's face. Jeongwoo, meanwhile, went back to getting annoyed at his cables.

He could co-exist with Jeongwoo. He was sure of it, but he could only do it if Jeongwoo didn’t expect too much of him, which, clearly, wasn’t going to happen.

Jeongwoo's phone buzzed, and there was a pause, “The boys are going out later, you heading to any of the club nights this week?”

“No.” JL didn’t look up.

“Fair.” Jeongwoo said, then paused. “Are you always this quiet?”

JL shrugged.

“Alright.” Jeongwoo said quietly, “I’m going to head out with them to grab food now, I’ll probably be back quite late tonight. Sorry if I wake you up or anything.”

JL nodded.

Jeongwoo stood and started to look through his stuff to find what he wanted to bring with him, then headed towards the door. “See you later, maybe?”

“Mmhm.”

Jeongwoo didn’t try to get anything more out of him, and left.

This was going to be an extremely long year if he didn’t figure out to look at Jeongwoo and actually talk to him like a normal person.

~

It turned out, JL couldn’t get over the fact that Jeongwoo was hot. He’d told himself that he’d forget about it eventually like he did with any other crush, but the difference with this and any other crush was the fact that there was no avoiding the proximity. Jeongwoo was always present, which made him extremely hard to ignore.

One week became two, two became four, and at some point in the middle of that, he realised that he’d spent an entire month avoiding his roommate.

He wasn’t proud of it at all, nor was he even sure that it was working in the slightest, but it was the easiest plan to get over whatever he was feeling for his roommate. If he could just minimise the contact he had with him by reducing Jeongwoo to just a small presence in the background, then surely the ridiculous crush would finally burn itself out.

So, he built a solid routine based around avoiding being in the same space as him.

He would get up far earlier than he needed to and slip out of the room while it was still dark outside, before Jeongwoo, who would sometimes sleep until midday, could wake up. It was ridiculous, really. He felt like he was a teenager, trying not to get caught sneaking out, but, he continued doing it anyway. It was good discipline, he told himself. It would help his productivity if he spent all day studying outside of the dorm.

He avoided going back to the dorm unless it was completely necessary, scared that returning earlier would mean bumping into Jeongwoo. He’d spend the whole day on campus in his seminars and lectures, doing prep work and studying, then would stay in the library until it was late enough that he was tired enough to go straight to bed when he got in, and at the beginning, he hoped that Jeongwoo would already be asleep.

That turned out to be extremely optimistic, because Jeongwoo seemed to be practically nocturnal.

He stayed awake until stupid times in the morning, gaming with his friends, or watching films.

The first few nights that JL had returned late, he’d been met with the sight of Jeongwoo sitting in the dark in front of the monitors, laughing with whoever was on the other end of his call. A couple of times, Jeongwoo had glanced over and lifted his hand in a small nonchalant wave. The way that JL responded was almost as pathetic as their first interaction, raising his hand in an awkward wave and mumbling a greeting before disappearing into the bathroom to shower and get ready for bed.

He had to give Jeongwoo credit, despite the awkwardness between them and his tendency to be a little messy (similar to JL), he was a very good roommate. He never complained to JL about his early alarms. Sometimes he would be on a call when he arrived back, but would immediately say goodbye so as to not disturb JL. Once, he’d arrived back to find that Jeongwoo had two friends in their room, and as soon as he’d walked through the door, he’d shooed them out of the room.

It made it worse, Jeongwoo being nice. He wouldn’t feel so guilty about his own behaviour if Jeongwoo had been a horrible person, or just didn’t care. It was a shame, really, that JL couldn’t bring himself to talk to him. He continued to tell himself that it was because he didn’t want to make things weirder for them both, or make things more painful for himself. It made his stomach knot, though, to think that Jeongwoo  might be going around and telling people about how strange his roommate was. Though, he wasn’t sure Jeongwoo was capable of being cruel like that.

Jeongwoo, meanwhile, had been trying to extend an olive branch. He’d asked small questions and made casual comments, but JL never responded with more than a few answers. He’d tried everything; from making small jokes and compliments, to being quiet, to being extra considerate, as if being friendly could slowly pull JL out of his shell.

JL noticed it all, how couldn’t he? But he didn’t acknowledge it at all. The more Jeongwoo paid attention to him, the more his instinct was to pull away, but also, the worse he felt about his behaviour.

Jeongwoo wanted to learn more about JL, but sometimes it was like talking to an emotionless brick wall.

There were benefits for him though, JL being out all day meant that his friends could hang out in his room and be as loud as they wanted without getting the JL Look (not that JL actually had a look, Jeongwoo just assumed that he did have one, and that it would be really scary). He could bring people back for the occasional hookup without worrying about disturbing JL, thanks to the younger’s obsession with never straying from his tight schedule.

JL could always tell when there had been someone in the room, even if he didn’t see them. Jeongwoo wasn’t careless, but people always seemed to leave traces – a forgotten hoodie, sometimes. One time, a pair of glasses.

The one he’d properly noticed was a scrunchie. He’d stared at that for longer than usual. The concept that Jeongwoo had girls over in theory wasn’t any kind of indicator of his sexuality, but JL still fixated on his theory that he was straight to try and help him get over him. If Jeongwoo was straight, then there was no point in any of this, no possibility of him ever having a chance.

As for Jeongwoo, he didn’t want JL to not like him. What he wanted was to get to know the quiet boy and become friends with him, and for someone who was so used to being immediately liked by everyone, it really stung. It wasn’t that JL seemed to outwardly dislike him, he was just weirdly absent. He barely spoke, barely gave him a glimpse into his life outside of the walls of their dorm room. And sometimes, on the few occasions where they would see each other, JL would go bright pink.

At first, he’d found it funny, the speed at which JL’s face would turn tomato-red. But it got old quickly, and started to hurt.

So, he stopped trying so hard. If JL didn’t want to be around him, then fine. He had friends, he didn’t need to waste his time making effort with someone that he was getting nowhere with.

That was somehow worse. Jeongwoo pulling back only made the silence even more awkward.

Which was why, when JL came back to the dorm early one evening, too tired to bother studying and wanting to just get his life sorted and do some studying, he was relieved to find the room empty.

The room was a mess, both sides. Clothes were scattered over the floor and his desk messy, and while Jeongwoo's side of the room was even worse, JL couldn’t really use that as an excuse. He really did hate living in a messy room, which was quite ironic, really, seeing that he had a talent for creating mess when he was busy, and was often too lazy to clean it up.

He went through his stuff, separating out the clean clothes that had been discarded in a rush from the dirty stuff that had missed the laundry basket. As the semester had gone on and his workload started to pick up, he’d definitely been neglecting the state of his room. He folded the clean clothes to put away, collected together the loose pages that he’d left on the desk to put them into a folder, and gave his desk a quick wipe down.

Then, he glanced over to Jeongwoo's side of the room.

He couldn’t exactly judge at this point – Jeongwoo was a naturally messy person, apparently. But even now, it somehow looked worse than usual. The pile of hoodies that seemed to have lived permanently on the floor since the day they’d moved in had somehow expanded. There were at least five hoodies thrown in a heap, where Jeongwoo had thrown them carelessly and not bothered to pick any of them back up. Along with the hoodies, there were a couple of crumpled t-shirts and a pair of jeans mixed in.

He hesitated, unsure if it would be crossing a boundary if he cleaned it up a little. Then again, if he did just a little bit of cleaning, it would be easier than talking to him. Just a nice gesture.

So, he crossed the room, and started to fold the hoodies. He made a tidy stack on the end of Jeongwoo's bed, all of the clothes on the floor neatly folded. He didn’t fix everything, that would take forever. When he was done, he’d barely made a dent in the chaos of Jeongwoo's side of the room, but at least the floor was finally visible, so that was progress.

He went to shower and get ready for bed. He put his pyjamas on – an old university t-shirt and a pair of pyjama shorts – then climbed into bed, put his headphones on, and put on a film that Juwon had been telling him for months that he needed to watch.

He was only half way through the first scene when the door opened and Jeongwoo stepped in. He kicked the door shut with his foot, then looked up to find JL already there, sat in bed. Jeongwoo's gaze then shifted to look around the room, and his brows pulled together slightly.

The stack of folded clothes on his bed were completely impossible to miss, making him stop walking. For a moment, he stared at the clothes, then at JL, then back at the clothes again. “What the–”

“Hey.” JL said quietly, pulling his headphones off and trying his hardest to act casually.

Jeongwoo's eyes stayed on him, “Hey…” He echoed, “Did you… tidy?”

JL’s cheeks went pink, “A bit.” So much for trying to act casual.

Jeongwoo looked like he’d been completely thrown off, “You folded my clothes.”

His cheeks flushed harder, “They were on the floor.”

“Yeah, I know they were–” Jeongwoo cut himself off with a short laugh, suddenly aware that this was the longest conversation that he’d ever had with JL. He stared at the stack on his bed again, “I just didn’t think you’d–”

Jl’s throat tightened a little. “I hope that’s okay.”

Jeongwoo blinked, “Yeah.” He said immediately, “Yeah, it’s–it’s fine. More than fine, actually. Thanks.” He said, eyes then flicking to JL’s laptop, “Sorry–were you watching something?”

“Mmhm.”

There was a short pause, “Right, sorry.” He said, “You can get back to watching whatever you were watching.”

He put his headphones back on, and tried to focus on the film, which was easier said than done when his awareness stayed firmly on Jeongwoo. He seemed to hover for a second, as though he wanted to ask JL what he was watching and try to make more conversation, but he ended up grabbing a clean t-shirt from the pile that JL had left on his bed, and disappeared into the bathroom.

When Jeongwoo came back out in his pyjamas with his curls damp, he didn’t go to his desk to log onto whatever game he always played with his friends. Instead, he went straight to his bed and flopped down, phone in hand. He scrolled for a few moments, then shifted to get under the covers.

JL blinked, surprised. It wasn’t even ten, and from what he’d seen, midnight was usually the earliest he ever went to bed. Either way, Jeongwoo turned onto his side so he was facing away from him, and not even a minute later, his phone went dark.

JL stayed there staring at the screen while the film continued to play. Then, suddenly tired, he turned his laptop off and set it on the bedside table along with his headphones.

 ~

JL’s lecture had run over by fifteen minutes, and all he wanted to do was to head straight back to the dorm, take a shower, and go to sleep. He wasn’t sure why he was so exhausted, maybe he’d been studying too hard recently, or maybe he’d been getting stressed over the whole Jeongwoo situation.

Campus was still busy, despite lectures being finished. He was on his way back to the accommodation building when he spotted Jeongwoo, which in itself, wasn’t unusual. He wasn’t sure how he did it, but the man was everywhere. He seemed to know everybody.

He was going to walk past it without taking any note of it, but this time, something about the scene caught JL’s attention.

Jeongwoo was standing near the steps of one of the buildings, one strap of his rucksack slung over a shoulder, and he was talking to a guy. He was smiling, laughing at something that the guy said, and then, he leaned in slightly and bumped his shoulder lightly into the guy’s.

JL stopped in his tracks. He probably shouldn’t be watching, it was none of his business, but he was curious.

The guy leaned closer to Jeongwoo to show him something on his phone, and Jeongwoo leaned slightly closer, and the guy’s hand landed on his arm, lingering there for a few seconds. Jeongwoo turned his head slightly, his eyes on the guy’s face.

He was flirting.

JL’s stomach twisted with jealousy. He hated himself for it – Jeongwoo wasn’t his, and never had been. Frankly, JL had been a coward for the past month, he had no right to feel possessive over a guy who he’d spent the whole time avoiding. 

The guy said something else, and Jeongwoo nudged him again.

JL’s brain was scrambling to fit all of the pieces together. Jeongwoo was–

Except, clearly, he wasn’t.

Despite the shock, alongside the feeling of jealousy he was trying to push aside, he could feel a small glimmer of hope.

His heart was beating fast. He’d been so sure that Jeongwoo was straight, built up an entire story in his head just to help himself get over this stupid crush. He was relieved, yes, but he was also panicking. If Jeongwoo wasn’t straight, like he’d assumed that he was, then JL was wrong about the only thing keeping him from spiralling too much over his feelings. If there was even the tiniest possibility that–

No. He wasn’t going to do this, it would never end well.

~

Jeongwoo had failed his maths test.

He stared at the email on his phone for the third time that minute, as if somehow it would be less humiliating if he kept looking, or if the grade would magically change by the sheer power of his will.

It didn’t.

He didn’t even understand why he had to take maths as a business student. He understood the basic stuff he’d been taught at school, but this was full of graphs and rules that he didn’t understand, and if there was one thing he hated, it was numbers. He had no clue how JL managed to do it all day, sitting there with his notebooks full of equations, just thinking about it gave him a migraine.

When he’d been emailed the results from the test, the professor had suggested that he find someone to tutor him, which was really the last thing that he could possibly want.

He pictured someone sitting opposite him, waiting impatiently while Jeongwoo asked the same question for the hundredth time in a row because his brain simply wouldn’t retain anything useful. He could almost picture the look of disappointment on their face, the judgement. He’d need someone patient enough to not get annoyed, but at the same time, he needed someone who wouldn’t make him feel like a complete idiot.

Perhaps he’d ask one of his friends. Steven, who was in the year above him, had taken the same class as him last year, so that could be an option. However, Steven was also notoriously bad at maths, maybe even worse than him, so upon second thought, perhaps it wasn’t such a good idea to run to him for help.

Han or Woongki could also be a good shout. The three of them had been paired up in their first year to do a group project and had stayed friends since then. They were both much smarter than him, but they had recently started dating, and he’d much rather not be the third wheel while they flirted and called each other disgusting pet names. Besides, with them, they’d all just end up messing around or joking about how shit he is at maths, and while Jeongwoo could take a joke, this was a very real, very serious problem.

His next idea was so absurd that he thought it just might work.

Who did he know that was annoyingly patient, smart, and good at maths?

JL.

It was ridiculous to even think about asking, he was sure that JL hated him, that he’d done something wrong on the day they’d met without realising, and now he was facing the consequences through a very long, elaborate silent treatment.

He hated to admit it, but JL was his best bet.

That evening, Jeongwoo waited for JL to get back. When the door finally opened and JL walked in, he immediately spoke before he could slip into the bathroom.

“I need you to tutor me in maths.” Jeongwoo said, skipping their usual awkward pleasantries of waving and mumbling a hello.

JL stopped dead in his tracks, “You–what?”

Jeongwoo repeated himself, “I need you to tutor me in maths.” He said, “I have to take this mandatory maths class, and I’m so insanely shit at it. I failed my test last week.” He thrust the test paper in JL’s direction.

Tentatively, JL took the paper, his fingers brushing against Jeongwoo's for a split second, and he watched as the younger’s cheeks went a little pink.

He slowly flicked through the pages, his face not giving much away, though he did look mildly concerned. Over half of the answers were wrong, and a good chunk of the questions hadn’t even been answered, with half-completed workings in the blank spaces. “Jesus.” He looked back up at Jeongwoo, “Did you even study for this?” He asked bluntly.

Jeongwoo's silence told him everything he needed to know.

In Jeongwoo's defence, he had meant to study for the test, he really had. But his friends from home had also decided to start up a Mario Kart league that very same week, and being as competitive as he was, he was determined to win it, which had led to him neglecting to study for the test until he realised that it was way too late.

JL sighed, “Well,” he said, handing the paper back to Jeongwoo, “that’s why you failed.” He started to turn to go and put his bag down at the foot of his bed.

Before he could fully turn away, Jeongwoo's hand shot out and he grabbed his wrist, making JL stop once again. He looked at him with pleading eyes, “JL, please.” He said, “My parents will be so disappointed if I fail a module.”

This part was true. His parents were the furthest thing from cruel, but they still cared and wanted him to do well. The last thing he wanted was the embarrassment of telling them that he was struggling.

JL, who had forgotten how to breathe in that very moment, thought about it. He wasn’t completely opposed to helping Jeongwoo, in fact, he loved the idea, and perhaps this could be what would finally help him get over his crush and start being normal around the boy. However, he was also scared that helping Jeongwoo would only make him fall harder. He surprised himself when he finally responded, “Yeah, okay.”

Jeongwoo let out a sigh of relief and stood up, dropping JL’s wrist to engulf him in a sudden hug. “Thank you!” He said. JL stiffened, unsure of what to do, so he let Jeongwoo squeeze him tightly, completely unmoving himself.

Realising that JL wasn’t returning the hug, Jeongwoo pulled back almost as quickly as he had initiated the hug, cheeks slightly pink, “Sorry–I shouldn’t have–It’s just–thank you.” He said.

JL’s face was on fire, but he forced himself to give Jeongwoo a small tight-lipped smile, “No worries.” He said, before finally turning away and going to put his bag down.

As awkward as it had felt, Jeongwoo was sure that he’d finally gotten through to JL.

They started the tutoring sessions the next day.

When Jeongwoo got back to the dorm from his lecture, he was surprised to find JL already there, studying in their dorm during the day for what he was sure was the first time ever. He looked up when Jeongwoo entered the room, jumping a little at the sight of him, as though he hadn’t heard him open the door.

“Are you free to do it now?” Jeongwoo asked.

JL nodded, “Yeah, I’m free.” He said, shuffling his chair to the side so that Jeongwoo could get his chair from across the room and pull it over. He found a sheet of scrap paper and placed it between them. “Okay,” JL said, “Show me what you don’t get.”

“All of it.” Jeongwoo said, letting out a dull laugh and placing the test paper down on the desk.

JL’s eyebrows lifted, “Be serious.”

“I am being serious.”

JL stared at Jeongwoo for a moment, then pulled the test paper towards him, scanning over the first few questions. He watched while JL read through it quickly, as if he were figuring out the answers in his head. “Okay.” JL said, “So, what. You know what you’re doing, but you don’t know how to start?”

Jeongwoo leaned closer to look at the question he was talking about, “Yeah, no. I don’t even know what half of the words mean.”

JL’s gaze flicked back towards him, and for a moment, Jeongwoo thought he was about to get annoyed. Instead, JL just sighed. “Right.” He said, “Okay, that’s fine. We’ll do it step by step.”

That’s what he patiently did. He explained things in a way that made Jeongwoo feel less stupid, broke down the question into smaller parts and talked him through every line, and Jeongwoo tried as much as he could. He asked questions, repeated what JL said, and finally got one of the questions right.

JL gave him a small smile, “See? You can do it.” He said.

“Yeah, because you’re doing the thinking for me.” Jeongwoo laughed.

JL looked back at the paper, “You’re doing that for yourself.”

They sat like that for almost an hour, working side by side. For the first time since they moved in, the awkward energy between them felt less suffocating, and just normal. JL liked that, Jeongwoo did too. Then, the older made a small mistake, so small that it was almost stupid, especially because JL had literally just explained it two minutes before.

Jeongwoo groaned in frustration, “I don’t get how you do this.” He complained, dropping the pencil he was holding dramatically. “It’s like you just get it immediately and I’m just stupid.”

“You’re not stupid.” JL said quietly.

Jeongwoo stared at him for a second, then let out a breath. For once, he didn’t double down with defensiveness, and just found himself more curious than ever about JL. The whole tutoring thing was the most they had ever interacted with each other, and even now, he could see from JL’s posture that he was almost uncomfortable.

Jeongwoo leaned back in his chair, watching JL.

As though he could feel the stare, he spoke, “What?”

“Did I do something to upset you?”

JL’s head snapped up, “What?”

Jeongwoo held his gaze, “I dunno. You act like you can’t stand me.” He said, “It’s like I’m bothering you but I’m not really sure why.”

JL went very still, and then, colour rushed up his neck and into his cheeks, and his eyes widened. Jeongwoo watched as JL opened his mouth, but nothing came out. He looked away from Jeongwoo, then back, then away again, his hands fidgeting with the pencil in his hands.

“No.” JL finally said, “No, you didn’t–I’m not–” He paused, and exhaled hard, “I do like you,” He said, then his face suddenly went even redder, “I mean–I do–”

“You do like me?” Jeongwoo's eyebrows lifted.

JL made a strangled noise, “No–” He froze, realising that sounded worse, “Yes. I–Not like–”

Jeongwoo had to fight the urge not to laugh at the fact that JL looked like he was in physical pain. Meanwhile, JL squeezed his eyes shut, trying to pull himself together. “I’m just–I don’t know how to act around you. You’re really loud, and everyone likes you, and I’m just–I’m not used to that constantly.” He said quietly, “So it’s not you, it’s–it’s me just being a bit weird. Sorry.”

Jeongwoo watched JL’s face, stunned. Then, he spoke, “Okay.” He said, “So, you don’t hate me.”

JL shook his head quickly, “No.”

Jeongwoo let out a sigh of relief, “Okay, good.” He said, grinning, “Because that would have been really inconvenient, seeing that we live together. I can work with awkward, I think.”

JL stared at him for a second, trying to figure out if Jeongwoo was mocking him. Then, slowly, he turned back to the question paper, “Okay, for this one, you almost got it.”

Jeongwoo laughed at how quickly JL switched back into tutor mode, and watched as he explained the next question. It was weird, he thought, how JL could make something so boring sound so interesting – he was convinced that he could make taxes sound interesting without even trying.

At least they were finally getting somewhere.

~

“I just don’t know how to act around him.” JL groaned, leaning his head back against the wall.

JL and Juwon sat on the older’s bed leaning against the wall. Jeongwoo was out with his friends, which meant that the two of them could hang out without being disturbed. The film they had been watching played on in the background, but ever since the topic of Jeongwoo came up, they’d stopped watching.

Juwon, being as sympathetic as ever, laughed at JL’s distress.

“Juwonie, I’m being serious!” JL complained.

“I know, that’s what makes it so funny.”

“Ever since I agreed to tutor him, he’s started asking all sorts of questions about me. Like–” JL’s brows pulled together, looking almost pained. “Like what music I listen to, what's it like in the Phillipines, my favourite TV shows.”

Juwon gave JL a deadpan look, “Oh no!” He said sarcastically, “How dare the person you live with want to get to know you. The audacity.”

JL groaned louder, “That’s not the point.”

“Then what is?” Juwon questioned, “ Because, what I’m hearing is that he’s talking to you like a normal person.”

“The point is, I don’t know how to respond to him.” He said with a frustrated sigh.

“God, you’re so emotionally repressed.” Juwon rolled his eyes.

JL shot him a look, “What? I’m not emotionally repressed.”

Juwon's eyebrows lifted, “When you broke your wrist, you refused to let me take you to the hospital because you said it barely hurt.”

JL didn’t say anything.

Juwon shrugged, pleased with himself. “Anyway. You told him why you’ve been weird, didn’t you?”

JL nodded. “Yeah. And he was like—” He did finger quotes as he recounted what Jeongwoo had said, “‘Cool, I can work with awkward.’ And then he just moved on.”

“That’s a good thing,” Juwon said.

“How?”

“Because he didn’t make it a big deal,” Juwon said simply, shrugging his shoulders.

JL sighed. “I know. That’s why it’s worse.”

Juwon snorted. “Of course it is.”

The older  dragged a hand over his face. “Weirdly, it was easier when it was awkward, because I could just avoid him and pretend it would go away. I thought avoiding him would help me get over this stupid crush, but now he’s in my space constantly and he’s being nice and it’s—” JL cut himself off, frustration thick in his throat. “It’s making me more aware of him.”

Juwon’s grin returned, slow and sly. “So what I’m hearing is you’re down bad for him.”

“Juwon.”

“I’m sorry.” Juwon said, not sounding sorry in the slightest, “I can’t help it, it’s like you’ve never seen an attractive person before. And, also, your self-sabotage is actually really entertaining for me.”

JL was quick to glare at his friend again, “I’ve seen attractive people before.”

“Right.” Juwon said, “And you’ve acted this way around all of them?”

“Shut up.” JL said.

“Have you ever tried–I don’t know–actually making conversation with him?”

JL stared at him, horrified.

Juwon continued, “It’s not like you have to have a deep, intense heart-to-heart conversation. Just talk about normal things.” He said, “Ask him if he likes Twice, or if he likes football, or–”

“I don’t like football.” JL interrupted him.

Juwon rolled his eyes, “That doesn’t stop you from asking if he likes football.”

JL crossed his arms across his chest, “I make conversation already.”

“You give him one word answers.” Juwon deadpanned, “That’s not conversation.”

“Well, every time I want to give him a proper answer, my brain completely blanks.” JL shot back.

“Yeah, that’s because you like him.”

“Me liking him has nothing to do with this.” JL shook his head, “It’s because I’m awkward.”

“Yeah, you’re awkward because you like him.” Juwon repeated.

JL looked away, focusing on the pinboard above Jeongwoo’s desk across the room, “I don’t want to make it weird.”

“Jay, it’s already weird.” Juwon said.

JL huffed in frustration.

“And it does sound like Jeongwoo actually is trying.”

That was true, Jeongwoo had been trying, really hard. Ever since they’d moved in, he’d been trying to get something out of JL, and JL had given nothing back in return. Before he could respond, the door opened, and Jeongwoo stepped in carrying a plastic bag, pausing when he saw both of them sitting on JL’s bed.

“Oh, sorry.” Jeongwoo said, “Am I interrupting?”

“Nope!” Juwon said brightly, immediately pushing himself up to stand, “Actually, I was just about to head out.”

JL shot him a look of desperation, his eyes wide, but all he was met with was a pure evil grin. “My roommate actually just texted.” Juwon continued, “He needs help with his–uh–pet snake.”

Juwon turned to JL and mouthed, Talk to him, then winked.

JL wanted to kill him.

Jeongwoo, still standing in the doorway, watched the exchange. “Right.” He said, clearly not believing Juwon's excuse, “Cool, I won’t keep you from that. Nice seeing you, buddy.”

Juwon slung his rucksack over his shoulder and clapped JL on the back, then left, leaving JL alone with Jeongwoo once again.

He sat still on his bed, avoiding looking towards Jeongwoo.

Jeongwoo, meanwhile, put the plastic bag down on his desk, and started to unload multiple plastic containers. He glanced over his shoulder at JL, “I got chinese takeaway.” He said, “Do you want some? I ordered too much.”

JL swallowed nervously, “Oh, you don’t have to–”

“Seriously, I’m not eating all this.” Jeongwoo interrupted him, pulling out another container from the bag. “Unless you want to witness me attempt to consume my body weight in rice and die, have some. Think of it as a thank you for helping me study.”

Wordlessly, he stood from the bed and walked closer.

Jeongwoo's smile widened, “That’s a yes, then.” He said, “Come on, take your pick. I might have some bowls somewhere…” He trailed off, rummaging around in a box in his wardrobe, eventually producing two bowls.

After putting some food into the two bowls – a selection of everything he had ordered (Jeongwoo hadn’t been lying, he’d ordered enough to feed a family), Jeongwoo was the first to sit down on the floor in the middle of the room. Then, he looked up at JL, who remained stood with his food, and patted the empty space beside him, inviting him to sit down too.

After hesitating, JL sat down next to Jeongwoo, making sure to leave a gap between them as he crossed his legs uncomfortably. “Pass me the chopsticks, will you?” He asked, and JL reached up onto the desk and retrieved a pair of metal chopsticks, and handed them to Jeongwoo. 

After a few minutes of eating while the older filled the silence, talking while he chewed and describing his day in detail, Jeongwoo decided that they needed background noise, “We should put a film on.” He said, immediately grabbing his laptop from where he’d discarded it on the bed earlier.

He turned it on and placed it on the floor in front of them. “You like Spiderman?”

JL nodded silently, “Yeah, it’s fine.”

“It’s fine?”

“It’s good.” JL said, “I like Spiderman.”

“There we go.” Jeongwoo said, satisfied with JL’s response.

As the film started, JL tried not to pay attention to the fact that Jeongwoo had moved closer to him since settling back down, his shoulder now against his. JL listened while Jeongwoo made comments about the film, narrating everything that happened – normally, he’d be annoyed if someone like Jeongwoo, or one of his siblings, would do it, but he didn’t particularly mind.

Eventually, Jeongwoo went back to trying to make conversation over the film, “So. Why did you pick Automotive Engineering?” He asked.

Surprised that the attention had suddenly shifted back to him, JL nearly choked on his food.

Smooth.

Jeongwoo immediately paused the film and turned towards him, panicking. “Shit–you’re not dying, are you?”

JL coughed and shook his head, cheeks pink. “I’m fine.”

Jeongwoo stared at him for a moment, then resumed the film, but JL could still feel his eyes on him, expecting an answer. He hesitated, “I dunno. I guess I just really like cars. I’ve watched F1 since I was a baby.”

“Cool! Do you have a favourite driver?”

JL shrugged, trying to stay casual and not immediately info dump about Formula 1. “I always liked Mark Webber when I was younger.” He said, “My mum said I used to talk about him all the time while simultaneously pretending to be a car.”

He cringed, why had he just admitted that to Jeongwoo?

The older laughed, “That’s so cute!” He exclaimed, then nudged JL gently with his shoulder.

JL stiffened a little, but didn’t move away. They continued to talk more, him finally being prompted to open up more to Jeongwoo, and he finally learned some new things about his roommate, too. He even found himself adding quiet comments and asking his own questions.

“You miss the Philippines?” Jeongwoo asked.

JL nodded, “Sometimes.”

“What do you miss about it?”

JL glanced down at his empty bowl, “My family, mostly.” He said, “The weather, too. It’s very hot there now. And people don’t look at me weirdly if I wear shorts in November.”

“Dude, it’s not shorts weather. That’s why you’re getting weird looks.” Jeongwoo laughed, “It’s fucking freezing.”

“No shit, Sherlock.”

Jeongwoo laughed again, delighted. “Oh my god, you know sarcasm, too!”

“I’ve always been sarcastic.”

Jeongwoo shrugged, “I just thought you were judgy.” He said, then swore under his breath, “Shit–Sorry. Not in a bad way, you’re just hard to read.”

“I’m not judging you.” JL said quickly.

Jeongwoo looked at him, holding his gaze, then turned back to the film, “Good.”

JL looked back at the screen, pretending to pay attention to what was happening, but he couldn’t stop stealing glances at Jeongwoo.

Shit.

He was falling harder for his roommate than he had been before.

~

JL was sick, which was not how he wanted to start the new year.

They’d been back at university for a whole week before he’d woken up this morning with a horrendous mixture of headache, sore throat, and stuffy nose. When his alarm went off that morning, instead of getting up at the ridiculously early time he always did, he turned the alarm off and went back to sleep, mentally cursing the guy who had coughed violently in his face the week before in a lecture.

Served him right for not moving seats.

He woke up again when someone prodded his arm. He groaned and cracked his eyes open, squinting in the harsh fluorescent overhead lights of the room that had now been turned on. Jeongwoo had his coat on ready to leave, and was peering down at him in concern.

“What?” JL croaked. He tried to clear his throat, and instead coughed, turning his head to direct it into the crook of his elbow.

“Jesus.” Jeongwoo muttered, taking a quick step away. “Sorry–I noticed you hadn’t gone to your lecture and just wanted to make sure you hadn’t slept through your alarm.” Jeongwoo said quickly, looking even more concerned than he had before JL had coughed.

JL didn’t move from where he was curled up under his duvet, “I didn’t.” He said, sounding very sorry for himself, “I’m not going to any of my lectures today.”

“You never skip lectures.”

JL let out a weak chuckle, “Today’s special.” He said, closing his eyes. “I’ll get Juwon to send me the notes.”

Jeongwoo hovered for a moment, like he wanted to say something else. Instead, he turned and left the room, turning the overhead light off as he went.

JL slept for most of the day, drifting in and out of consciousness.

When he was awake, it was only long enough to drag himself into the bathroom to go to the toilet and fill his water bottle up. When he looked at himself in the mirror, he was met with the image of him with his hair sticking up, puffy eyes, and his skin even paler than usual, a pink flush on his cheeks from the fever.

Later on in the day, he pulled his desk chair closer to his bed and balanced his laptop on it so he could remain curled up on his side while watching something. Despite being hungry, he didn’t eat all – the thought of actually eating food immediately made him feel vaguely nauseous.

When Jeongwoo returned, he was still curled up in bed, watching an episode of Lovely Runner.

Jeongwoo cleared his throat. “Hey.” He said, “I grabbed some stuff for you from the shop.” He said.

JL reached out and paused the show, then turned his head without lifting it up from the pillow to look at Jeongwoo, his brows furrowed.

“I bought paracetamol,” He said, rooting through his rucksack to unpack the things he’d bought onto JL’s desk, “And some of those electrolyte tablets to put in water, as well as some cough sweets. And I grabbed some food too.”

JL kept on staring at him, unsure of what to say.

Jeongwoo kept on going, adding stuff to the growing pile, “I wasn’t sure what you’d want so I got you a bunch of stuff. Soup, a toastie, one of those bland tomato pasta things, and a smoothie. Oh, and also a cereal bar. Because you–” He glanced at the empty bin, which he’d at least expected to see some wrappers in, “--you definitely haven’t eaten.”

JL frowned, “Why did you do that?”

Jeongwoo shrugged, “I dunno. You looked really sad this morning.”

“You don’t need to look after me, I’m not five.” He muttered.

Jeongwoo's eyebrows shot up, “Right.” He said, but he sounded determined, “You’ve been sat all day in bed in your pyjamas, and you’ve not even eaten a cereal bar.” He held out one of the food items from the table, “Come on, you need to eat something or you’ll just feel worse.”

The thought of food still made him feel sick, but Jeongwoo wasn’t wrong, which somehow only made him more irritable. “I’m fine.” He said.

Jeongwoo sighed in annoyance, baffled by JL’s commitment to the bit. “You look like you’re on your deathbed.”

“I’m not dying.”

“Yeah, well you look it.”

“You’ll get sick.” JL argued, “Stop fussing over me.”

“Jay Lawrence–”

“Why do you even care so much?” JL snapped.

He regretted it the moment the words came out of his mouth.

Jeongwoo froze, his face going blank. Then he frowned, clearly hurt.

Shit.

“Jeongwoo, I–” He started, but his throat tightened and he trailed off.

“I care so much because I care about you, JL.” Jeongwoo interrupted, “That’s the point. I don’t–” He stopped, swallowing, “I don’t understand why you keep pushing me away.”

JL’s breath caught. He stared at Jeongwoo, his brain struggling to catch up with what the man had said. He could see how Jeongwoo was trying his hardest to look unaffected by his words, but he could see the way his shoulders had hunched slowly.

“Shit. I didn’t mean it like that.” JL said quietly, “I’m sorry.”

He sat up properly, having to stop for a moment because the movement made him dizzy. Jeongwoo spotted this and immediately stepped forwards.

“Don’t.” JL muttered, “You’ll get sick.”

“Oh my God.” Jeongwoo said, exasperated, “Will you just stop doing that?”

“Doing what?”

“Using being sick as an excuse.” Jeongwoo snapped. He exhaled hard through his nose, “JL, my bed is like, two metres away from yours. I don’t think there’s any chance that I’ll not catch it.”

“That’s not the point.”

“And if I do catch it,” Jeongwoo went on, “I don’t care.”

“You don’t care if you get sick?”

“No.” Jeongwoo said, dead serious. “If I get sick, it means I’ll finally have a decent excuse to miss classes. That sounds brilliant, actually.”

JL stared at him, then chuckled. It immediately turned into a cough again, but there was no doubt that he’d laughed. Jeongwoo smiled a little, “This is great for me, you can’t be mean without coughing.”

JL’s eyes were stinging, he could feel them pricking with tears. He hated himself for hurting Jeongwoo, especially when he was only trying to be kind. “I’m sorry,” He said, more earnestly this time, “I really am. I feel awful and I’m cranky and I shouldn’t have taken it out on you.”

“Okay, then stop trying to push me away when I’m trying to take care of you while you’re sick.” He took a step closer.

“Jeongwoo–”

“Nope.” Jeongwoo shook his head, “You can be annoyed at me later when you’re not sitting in a pool of your own sweat.”

“I’m not–”

“Your hair is literally wet, so unless you’ve had a shower, which I doubt, it’s sweat. And it's sticking to your forehead.” He said. “Have you taken any paracetamol today?”

JL didn’t say anything.

“Jay Lawrence.”

“I was sleeping!” JL argued.

“That’s not medicine.” Jeongwoo argued back. He picked up JL’s empty water bottle and went to fill it up in the bathroom, then returned and held it out to him. Once JL had taken a sip of the water, he handed him two tablets and waited until he had taken them.

“Okay, now food.” Jeongwoo said.

JL pouted, “You’re bossy.”

“I’m bossy?” He repeated, “Have you ever met yourself? You’re, like, the bossiest person I’ve ever met.”

JL tried to smile, then because he had nothing better to say, he apologised again. “I really am sorry.” He said, “I didn’t mean it.”

Jeongwoo held his gaze, “I know.” He said, “Has anyone ever told you how dramatic you are when you’re ill?”

“I’m not dramatic.” JL muttered.

“You absolutely are. You’re stubborn, too.” Jeongwoo said. Then, he pointed at the selection of foods that he’d brought back for JL, “What do you want to eat?”

“I don’t feel hungry.”

“Just eat something, please.” Jeongwoo begged.

JL gave a small nod, and let Jeongwoo hand him the toastie, which had gone cold, but was better than nothing. He took a small bite of it, then another, all while Jeongwoo hovered by him, watching while he ate. He glanced up at him, “You don’t have to just stand there.” He said, “You can sit down.”

“Oh.” Jeongwoo blinked, he’d forgotten that he was still standing. He pulled his own desk chair over and sat down on it next to JL’s bed. “What were you watching?”

“Lovely Runner.”

Jeongwoo scrunched his nose up, “Booooooring.” He said, “Let me pick something.”

He leaned over to type in the search bar on JL’s laptop, and chose Lady and the Tramp. JL looked at him, “Really?” He said, letting out a soft laugh, “Didn’t think you were into cartoons.”

Jeongwoo grinned, “It’s peak cinema.” He said, then hesitated before speaking again, “Move over.”

“What?”

“Alright, budge up.” Jeongwoo clarified, gesturing to the bed. “I can barely see the screen from here. And I’m not sitting on that chair all evening, my back will die. Plus, you genuinely look like you’re on the brink of falling asleep again.

“Jeongwoo, you don’t have to–”

“I want to.”

JL just stared at Jeongwoo for a moment, then finally scooted across on the bed to make space for him.

Jeongwoo didn’t hesitate. He kicked off his shoes immediately and climbed onto the bed beside JL, making sure to leave some distance between the two of them so the younger wouldn’t suddenly feel uncomfortable. He lifted JL’s laptop and placed it on his lap so they could both see, and for a few minutes, they watched in silence.

JL’s eyes were heavy again, but the headache had finally dulled. Jeongwoo, meanwhile, kept on glancing down at him, checking that he was still okay.

Half way through the film, Jeongwoo could feel the weight of JL’s head resting on his shoulder. He looked back at him, to find that he was fast asleep. He didn’t know what to do with himself, so he didn’t move, terrified that he would wake JL.

That was when it hit him. He’d finally gained JL’s trust.

He kept his eyes on the screen, though he wasn’t really paying attention to the film any more, his mind entirely focused on the feeling of JL lying against him. He remained there until the film finished, then carefully eased JL’s head off of his shoulder and onto the pillow.

He stared at him for a moment, a fuzzy feeling swelling in his chest. He stood and set his laptop down on the bedside table, then carefully pulled the duvet higher.

Once he was sure that JL was still sleeping, he changed into his pyjamas and brushed his teeth, and when he finally climbed into his own bed, he lay silently with his back to JL, staring at the wall.

He felt tired, but he was restless, thoughts of JL swirling through his head. He’d been telling himself since he moved in that his interest in JL was just him being curious about the quiet boy, but the way that his stomach twisted when he had snapped at him told him otherwise. He wanted to stay, to sit with him and make sure he ate, he wanted to make JL laugh so that he could see his adorable smile.

He realised that something had changed.

He liked JL, more than in the way he liked a friend.

Sure, he’d thought that JL was attractive from the day he’d moved in. But it was one thing to find him attractive, and another thing to care enough to want to take care of them when they were sick.

And, he cared a lot.

He closed his eyes, trying to convince himself that this would be simple.

Over the next few weeks, JL could tell something was different.

Something had changed with Jeongwoo, that was clear, but he wasn’t quite sure what or why.

He’d started staying in the room more, asking if JL wanted to do things with him, like going out to grab lunch, asking if he needed anything from the shop, asking if he wanted to watch something with him when he was bored.

It was weird.

JL had spent the first few months of living with Jeongwoo completely convinced that conversation with him would expose his crush and humiliate him. But somewhere along the way, JL had started coping with his crush, and letting Jeongwoo in. He’d even go as far as saying that they were friends now, though, it was different to his friendship with Juwon. He couldn’t expect it to be the same – he and Juwon been friends for years, but the main difference with him was the fact that JL had never seen him romantically.

It was getting harder for JL to pretend there was nothing there, especially not when Jeongwoo had inserted himself seamlessly into his routine. He’d started doing this thing where he was always in JL’s space. He would sit on JL’s bed when he got back from his lectures and complain endlessly about how boring his day had been. When he laughed at something JL said, he would reach out and gently touch his arm, his hand lingering there for longer than it should.

JL kept on telling himself that it meant nothing.

The strangest development, though, came on a random morning when JL was getting ready to leave to go to his lecture, and Jeongwoo had cleared his throat from his bed. “Hey, what lecture are you going to?”

“Aerodynamics.” JL replied.

Jeongwoo made a face, scrunching his nose in disgust. “That sounds awful.”

JL shrugged, “I kind of like it.”

“Can I come?”

“Come?”

“With you,” Jeongwoo clarified, like it was obvious that’s what he had asked, “To your lecture.”

JL furrowed his brows, confused. “Why would you want to come to my aerodynamics lecture?”

Jeongwoo shrugged, “I’m bored.” He said sheepishly, clearly lying.

“If you’re already bored then you’re not going to enjoy it.” He said, but then he looked back over at Jeongwoo, who had decided he’d go down the making puppy eyes route, “Fine, if you really want, you can come.”

Jeongwoo's face lit up, “Yes!” He said, “Brilliant, I’m going to hate it.”

Spoiler: he did hate it.

Not even half way through the lecture, Jeongwoo had slumped down so low in his seat that he was dangerously close to sliding down on the floor. He kept on leaning towards JL and whispering things like, “What the fuck is he on about?”

JL tried not to laugh, but Jeongwoo's offended expression was making it very hard. The older leaned to him again, “Nothing makes sense.”

“That’s because you don’t have any context.” He whispered back.

Jeongwoo sighed, “I can’t believe you forced me to come.”

JL bit the inside of his cheek, trying even harder not to laugh, “You literally asked if you could come, don’t twist my words.”

“Well, if I’d known it would be like this, I wouldn’t have come.” He complained quietly, “You’re in a cult, that’s the only explanation.”

After that, Jeongwoo seemed to have made it his mission to be close to JL whenever he could. Sometimes, he would walk with JL to lectures and wave goodbye with a pout when they parted to go in different directions, and other times, he would tap JL on the shoulder and remind him to go to bed when he was studying particularly late.

JL didn’t know how to react to it all. It almost seemed like Jeongwoo was choosing him over everyone else, and he wasn’t used to being someone’s first choice. Somehow, helping Jeongwoo with his maths work became the thing that JL looked forward to most every week. But, even that had started to change, and become less about maths. Jeongwoo clearly no longer needed his help with maths, but he continued to ask for help anyway. JL continued to oblige happily, though the sessions had really just become an excuse for them to chat.

Jeongwoo would sit down at JL’s desk and do the usual dramatic I’m going to fail this class bit, then he’d spend a full hour telling stories and complaining about things that had happened during the day, getting zero work done.

Still, it only made JL more hopeful.

On Friday afternoon, the two of them sat at JL’s desk with his latest worksheet placed in between them, their chairs pulled so close together that they were practically pressed up against each other. So close that if JL turned his head to look at Jeongwoo, he could–

No. He wasn’t going to think about that.

Jeongwoo had been in the room all day, saying that he was going to lock in for once, and JL had been roped into that.

“It’s so sick that you can look at this and just know what it’s asking.” Jeongwoo said suddenly, tapping his pencil on one of the problems.

“It’s literally written in the question.”

“Yeah,” Jeongwoo replied, “In an ancient demonic language.”

JL sighed, “Show me what you did.”

Jeongwoo silently pushed his notebook towards JL, and watched as he scanned his messy workings, before circling a number with his pencil. “Here.” He said, “You forgot the minus on this number.”

Jeongwoo made a pained noise, and dropped his forehead dramatically onto the desk. JL chuckled and waited, mostly because he knew that Jeongwoo's theatrics weren’t really out of frustration, and more just his way of expressing how much he despised maths. When he sat back up, he looked at JL, suddenly focused.

“Jay.” He said.

JL glanced at him, “Yeah?”

Jeongwoo hesitated, “I’ve been thinking.”

“About maths?” JL questioned.

Jeongwoo laughed a little, “About everything.” He said, pausing. “You know, I’m really glad you agreed to tutor me. I really enjoy it.”

Only half paying attention, JL didn’t look up from his notebook, “No wonder. If I hadn’t, you’d be failing.” He said, then pointed at the next problem, “Alright, do this one. It’s the same method as the last.”

There was a beat of silence, then Jeongwoo let out a laugh of disbelief, “JL.”

The younger looked up, confused, “What?”

Jeongwoo's eyes were fixed on him, “I’m not talking about maths.”

“Oh.”

“Yeah. Oh.” Jeongwoo said softly. He put the pencil down, “I really enjoy spending time with you.”

JL’s heart was pounding. He didn’t look away from Jeongwoo, suddenly unable to breathe properly. He’d spent months convincing himself that Jeongwoo's kindness had no other intent than being a good roommate and now, he was looking at him as though what he’d said was obvious.

To JL, apparently, it wasn’t.

“Jeongwoo, what are you–” JL trailed off when the other shifted even closer.

“I’m trying to tell you that I–” Jeongwoo cut himself off, his tone fond as his breath hitched a little. His eyes flicked down to JL’s mouth, then back up, and then he reached up and gently touched JL’s jaw.

He went completely still as Jeongwoo leaned in. He stayed completely still, shocked into silence as Jeongwoo's lips met him softly. He didn’t know what to do with it, the only thoughts rushing through his head were Oh. My. God. This. Is. Happening.

He didn’t kiss back immediately, his body was still taking time to catch up with his head, but his delayed reaction caused for Jeongwoo to pull back almost instantly, suddenly panicking.

“Sorry.” Jeongwoo blurted, his hand dropping from JL’s jaw, “Shit. I–I thought that you were giving me signals and I–maybe I read them wrong. Sorry. I shouldn’t have.”

“No.” JL said, too quickly, “No, you didn’t–”

Jeongwoo's face was bright red with embarrassment. He stood abruptly, and JL immediately reached out and stopped him, standing up too. “You didn’t read it wrong.” He said, “I just–” JL’s cheeks were on fire, his heart beating rapidly in his chest. He couldn’t let Jeongwoo walk away thinking that he’d made a mistake, and leave himself regretting this forever. So, he told the truth.

“I’ve been in love with you since we moved in.” JL blurted.

Jeongwoo went completely still, forgetting whatever he was prepared to say.

JL kept going, “Like–from the moment I met you. And I assumed you were straight and I thought it was stupid, and that if I avoided you it would go away but it didn’t, and you started being really nice, which honestly just made it worse, and–and I didn’t kiss you back because I was shocked, not because I didn’t want to kiss you.”

Jeongwoo's mouth dropped open. He stared at JL for a moment, “What are you saying?”

“I want to kiss you.” JL clarified.

Jeongwoo let out a sigh of relief, “Thank God.”

“What?”

Jeongwoo let out a shaky laugh, “I was prepared to move to a different country out of embarrassment.”

“You’re so dramatic.” JL couldn’t help but roll his eyes.

Jeongwoo stepped closer, his hands moving down to rest on JL’s hips, “You’ve really liked me since the first day?”

“Yeah.”

He laughed, then studied JL’s face again. “Can I–” he started, eyes flicking down to JL’s lips again, “Can we try that again, then?”

JL nodded, and Jeongwoo didn’t hesitate this time. He leaned in slowly, and JL bridged the gap. This time, the younger kissed back immediately, his own hands wrapping around Jeongwoo to pull him closer.

When they broke apart, JL had a stupid, lovesick smile on his face.

Jeongwoo reached up and cupped his jaw again, his thumb tracing the edge of his bottom lip, “You’re actually smiling.” He said, mostly joking – he’d seen JL smile plenty of times.

“Shut up.” JL rolled his eyes, but his smile didn’t fade.

Jeongwoo flopped down onto his bed, and tugged JL down with him so they both lay in a heap. He leaned down and pressed another quick kiss to JL’s lips.

God, he could do this all day.

JL laughed against Jeongwoo's mouth, “What about your maths?”

Jeongwoo pulled back, trying to feign offence. “I can’t believe I just kissed you, and you’re thinking about maths.” He sighed and pushed himself off of JL, lying down next to him, “Do I really mean nothing to you?”

“What?”

Jeongwoo grinned, “Just kidding!” He said, “And fuck maths. I don’t think I’m going to be able to focus with you sitting next to me.”

Now, that was true. JL knew for a fact that Jeongwoo's so-called locking in was definitely not going to happen now.

Not that he was going to complain.