Chapter Text
The thumping of the bass reverberated in Azul’s ears, the dim lights of the Scarabia lounge casting an inviting, if not rowdy, atmosphere over the crowd. Sporadic rainbow-coloured squares flashed onto the walls and ceiling, leaving him to wonder where the hell a disco ball had been procured.
Well, with Kalim as the housewarden he supposed anything was possible. Azul felt decidedly out of place in his full dorm uniform – complete with the three-piece suit – while everyone around danced with reckless abandon.
Scarabia was known for its celebrations: they happened virtually every other week, always gathering the masses. Tonight, it seemed as if the whole of the student body was here. He could even spy a few students from Ignihyde in his secluded corner, wearing their dorm uniforms like him. Also like him, they stood off mostly to the side, a few other first-years inviting them to the dance floor. Surprising didn’t cut it: it seemed only once in a blue moon did they socialise of their own free will.
Speaking of socializing. He had come here with both Jade and Floyd in tow, though they seemed to have been lost in the chaos of the party. Or, they had gone off to cause trouble, in which case Azul would have to make up for it later. Considering Floyd’s… volatile mood swings, it was all too likely a scenario.
Seven, just thinking about it gave him a migraine. He’d have to lecture the twins later.
If he could just find –
“Azul! I didn’t know you were here!” Kalim’s excited face popped up from the thrum of the crowd, smiling with the luminosity of a thousand suns. Small drops of sweat were evident on his face, the sea of people just barely parting around the two.
Well, if Kalim was here, surely the vice-housewarden wasn’t far behind.
“Ah, yes, it’s good to see you, Kalim. I must admit, I wasn’t planning to attend, but I thank you for the invitation.” As well as the one from last week. And the one before that – the list only went on.
“I’m so glad you made it! Are you having fun?” Kalim shouted over the speakers, practically vibrating in place. His enthusiasm would’ve been contagious if Azul had any fondness for parties whatsoever.
In fact, it was quite the opposite, but Jade had brought up the topic during his shift at the Mostro Longue. He wouldn’t have attended without an ulterior motive, made glaringly obvious by his duplicitous smirk. Even with how long Azul had known the twins, he still failed to keep up with their schemes from time to time.
“I don’t suppose there’s someone you’d like to see, Jade?” Azul had asked.
“Oh? No, no one at all,” he’d replied, hand covering his mouth. “Now that you mention it though, I do recall that Jamil-san is Scarabia’s vice-housewarden. Maybe you’d get to see him if you attend?” He added, as if they hadn’t watched him try to overthrow the dorm only a couple weeks prior.
He did have a point, though…
And he’d ended up here, said Viper nowhere to be seen. Jade’s smirk still haunted his memory.
“Well, I’ll admit, I’m not a fan of crowded places. But you certainly know how to create an atmosphere, Kalim.” He tacked on. It was only proper to compliment the host, after all.
“That was all Jamil! I’ve been trying to lighten his workload ever since his…overblot, but he doesn’t listen to me! I just wish I could help, you know?” The boy admitted, visibly deflating. He looked like a kicked puppy with that expression. Azul couldn’t help but sympathise.
“Yes, of course, Kalim.” He said, softening his tone. Even with all the trouble he’d unknowingly caused, Azul truly felt for the poor boy. He had Jamil’s best intentions at heart, even if that wasn’t translated into his actions. What he lacked was understanding, not willingness.
“Speaking of Jamil, do you happen to know where I could find him?” In other circumstances, he would’ve spent more time chatting him up. Kalim was a valuable resource after all, but his priorities lay elsewhere this time.
“Oh! He’s probably out by the balcony over there. I tried to talk to him after the preparations were done, but he walked off. Um, I don’t know if he wants to be interrupted…” Kalim trailed off, uncomfortable. It was as if he’d never told someone no in his life.
…Yeah, that was probably the case.
“Not to worry Kalim, I’m sure he wouldn’t mind. Thank you for the information.”
That was a lie. Jamil most definitely would mind, but there was no need to share that information. With renewed confidence, he slipped through the crowd as quickly as he could manage. The oppressing body heat and the odour that could only come from a gaggle of teenage boys was far from pleasant – his lack of coordination did him no favours in this situation. Only more motive to reach the balcony quicker.
He almost certainly elbowed someone in the gut as he walked past, earning an angry ’watch it!’ and yes, maybe he accidentally tripped over someone else, but that was irrelevant.
Only one thing stopped him, and that was the sight of Jade and another student chatting in the corner. Oh? What’s this?
The shadows covered them well; only green hair and a prominent clover marking stood out from the dark.
When the light shifted, he could see Jade’s expression was animated as he talked, the bespectacled boy paying close attention and laughing every so often. There was an unmistakable expression of fondness on his face as he humored the younger student. Even with his decent height, Jade still towered quite a bit above him.
The music was too loud to hear, but Azul would’ve bet all his precious contract scrolls that he was yapping away about his new mushroom crop. Floyd had almost strangled him for that earlier.
Ah, so that was his motive. Who would’ve thought Jade was as susceptible to crushes as any other teenager? But no, Azul shook his head. He was getting distracted.
He broke through the crowd at last, pushing open the wide set of double doors Kalim had pointed out earlier. The night air was much colder outside, frigid wind that would’ve raised goosebumps on Azul’s skin were he not from the Coral Sea.
Oh, wasn’t Azul completely smitten at the sight?
Unwilling to enter and ruin the moment, he stood watching the line figure by the door. Yes, he was well aware that it was stalker-adjacent behaviour, but the temptation of Jamil in his element was far too great to resist. His long hair was worn down for once, reaching well past his waist and flowed, true to his name, like snakes coiling. He radiated calmness and mystique leaning against the railing, side profile highlighted by the reflection of the moon.
Safe to say, he was beautiful. It felt wrong to intrude on his privacy.
Even if Azul had wanted to turn back though, Jamil, with his razor-sharp perception, had already noticed him.
“Azul. What are you doing here?” He asked, evidently displeased as he surveyed him with detachment.
That was alright. He had planned for that. Repulsion he could deal with; had dealt with already, countless times.
“I wanted to check up on you.” At Jamil’s eye roll, he doubled down, walking towards him. “Truly. As your fellow classmate, I myself have gone through an overblot, and I know how difficult it is to recover from. If you ever need someone to talk to, I’ve come to offer my support.” Azul finished, eyes looking everywhere but him.
He pretended to appreciate the scenery instead, but it wasn’t necessary. The desert really was beautiful during the night. Something he’d never had the opportunity to appreciate, those rolling sand dunes that had their majesty outshone during the day. When he looked back, the faint flicker of surprise on Jamil’s face was gone as quickly as it came.
His eyes narrowed, mouth opening as if preparing to spit poison. “What, so you can find out more information about me than you already have? I thought I made it perfectly clear, Azul. We are not friends. I don’t want your pity, or your sympathy, or what you think is help. You aren’t needed here.”
And there it was. The sting of rejection, though predictable, was still hurtful to someone like Azul. Such a lack of control was something he hadn’t felt since his middle school days.
He’d said he preferred Jamil like this – open, blunt. That much was true, and he’d take it over his false subservience any day.
It was simply disappointing to see that his view of Azul hadn’t changed.
He took a breath. Met the other boy’s eyes, defensive and guarded as they always were. Biting not for self defense, but out of habit.
“I thought you might feel that way. But…” Sevens, he was opening up too much. He silently wished for someone to strike him down where he stood. “After my own, there were people to support me. I had the help of Jade and Floyd, my parents. I wouldn’t have recovered without them. I know what it’s like.”
Maybe he was laying it on too thick. Yes, the twins had helped, but they were still far from friends. He knew, logically, that they’d abandon him at the first sign of trouble.
“What I’m saying is that it’s not a weakness to accept help every so often. Even Kalim is trying to change for you. He’s studying with Riddle and I at the library, getting self-care tips from Vil; he’s learning how to be his own person.”
“Don’t try to lecture me about something you don’t understand, Azul.” Jamil replied. He was strangely mollified, still angry, but his eyes were tired.
“I do understand! Can’t you see? I want to help you.” He finished quietly.
It was humiliating. In an instant he was back to nothing more than a child. A version of himself he hated more than anything else, that he would gladly erase from the world if he could. Had he still not managed to move on?
“Can’t you listen?” Jamil spun around to face him fully, not quite shouting. Perhaps for fear of others hearing, restrained even in his anger. “I don’t need it! What help could you possibly offer me? And I’m supposed to believe that you do this out of what? The goodness of your heart? You’re nothing more than a lying, duplicitous schemer. It doesn’t matter that Kalim is ‘trying’ to change, because at the end of the day, I will still be the one testing his meals, because my life is more expendable. Can you really relate to that?” He leaned closer, noses almost touching. “Tell me, Azul. What do you know about my life?”
“I know that you know what I’m saying is true.” He challenged, pushing his finger into Jamil’s chest. His back hit the wall as Azul drove forward. “You need help, but you’re scared. You’re scared that accepting help means that you’re weak, and you’re scared that Kalim trying to change means that you won’t be needed anymore. That you won’t have value.”
“Azul–” He interrupted. His voice was low, anger flaring.
“No! You are– You are the most skilled person I know, Jamil. Maybe you’ve been taught otherwise, but your worth isn’t limited to how helpful you can be.”
For once, Jamil looked truly stunned. He wondered what his childhood had to have been like, for such a declaration to floor him.
Azul sighed, digging into his blazer to procure a sticky note and a pen. He wrote his number down quickly before handing it to the other boy. Jamil took it with reluctant hands. “My offer still stands. You can always call me.”
He left quietly, head down and face flushed.
Sevens, he was so, so stupid. He comes to a party with full formal attire, elbows innocent bystanders in the stomach, and proceeds to shout what was practically a confession of undying love? Azul might as well have hired a plane to fly around a gigantic banner announcing his affection (yes, affection), for Jamil to the entire world. At least that would be less conspicuous.
If he were a little less worried about his image, Azul would’ve buried his face in his hands and screamed. As it stood, he had no choice but to scrounge up what little remained of his dignity to walk back into the lounge.
At least the party had died down. Most students from other dorms had left while he was out, leaving small groups by the low couches and tables. Some were flocked around a game of Mancala going on, others quietly playing cards together.
“Oh, Azul! How’d your talk with Jamil go?” Kalim, thankfully, also had less restless energy than before. His turban had come undone during the night, leaving him with a rather unpolished look. Azul was envious.
“Ah. It was alright. Nothing important, I can assure you.” He just hoped his embarrassment wouldn’t be visible in the lighting. He had no doubts his cheeks were a bright blue, courtesy of his merman origin. How was he to show his face during their shared alchemy lessons after that?
Maybe the ground would do him a favour and swallow him whole.
“That’s good! We’ve just been packing up while everyone leaves. Oh, Jade was helping too!” He added cheerfully.
Azul could’ve sworn he heard something crashing in the background, but Kalim seemed not to have noticed.
“Jade, really? Whatever for?” It was unlikely that there was any benefit to be gained from staying later. They hadn’t had any involvement with Scarabia after the events of the winter holidays, either.
“Oh, I don’t really know? Trey came around to help and Jade kind of just appeared.” Kalim answered, seeming a bit mystified. “Anyway, I just thought I should tell you! Feel free to stay around if you want.” He began to run off, hand waving goodbye before Azul stopped him.
“Actually Kalim, I think I’ll chip in too. I’d feel bad leaving all this mess behind.” There was no need to add to Jamil’s workload, after all. Also, he hadn’t seen Floyd recently, and that was always a bad sign.
“Really? Thanks, Azul! You’re so nice!”
You may be the only person who thinks that, Kalim. Nonetheless, he trailed after the white-haired boy who was bouncing his way to the kitchen. A large assortment of dishes and snacks lay on the island, clearly meticulously made and presented before they’d been devoured by hungry students – or student (read: Ruggie).
Jamil had still been touching up on his presentation since the Culinary Crucible, then. Azul chuckled quietly before moving to take down the garlands hanging from the ceiling.
Alone, he had a chance to play back every single word he’d said. He must’ve seemed like a fool, running his mouth like that. If his standing with Jamil was low before, it was definitely irredeemable now.
The plan was much too optimistic in the first place: he’d known Jamil wouldn’t accept any help. They were cut from the same cloth, as much as the other wanted to deny it. He made it so hard to get through to him, though that was part of the reason he’d garnered Azul’s interest in the first place.
Who would’ve thought his reputation as a conman would have its downsides?
Azul simply couldn’t help it: how could someone look at Jamil and not see his brilliance? They would be the true fools.
“Eh, Azul? What’re you doing?” Floyd asked, materialising over his shoulder. He was peering at the decorations Azul was sorting into plastic tubs a Scarabian student had passed him. He would’ve jumped if he wasn't so used to the eel’s uncanny ability to sneak up on things — prey, for lack of a better word.
“Floyd? Jade and I are helping with the cleanup. Where have you been the whole night?”
“I was dancing with Sea Otter! It was awesome, you should’ve seen us.” He smiled lazily, draping his arms around Azul and laying his head on his shoulder. “But you were too busy with Sea Snake, right?”
“How did you know that?” Azul asked suspiciously, trying to haul off an unwilling Floyd with little success.
He snickered. “I didn’t. Just guessed, but turns out I was right, huh?”
Sometimes he hated how astute Floyd could be. It was wrong to underestimate him simply because of his brashness and tendency to act impulsively, something which many students both at their middle school and in Night Raven learned quite quickly.
Azul sighed heavily. “Well, either way, it was unsuccessful.” Finished with packing up the ornaments, he picked up the box and stacked it on top of the many others towering in the lounge. To be put away by Jamil, he assumed. “Have you seen Jade anywhere?”
“Eh, Jade? He left just a while ago with Sea Turtle.”
“Well, I suppose we should be going too then.” The allure of his bed was too comforting to resist. The sooner he could sleep, the sooner he could push the events of tonight out of his mind. They walked through the hallways in tandem, Azul relishing the rare quiet.
“So, what’d you talk about with Sea Snake~?”
“Don’t even, Floyd.”
——
Jamil didn’t come back inside until he was sure Azul had left.
The piece of paper had an unbearable weight in his pocket, and Jamil had to wonder why he hadn’t immediately thrown it away. He was sure watching it float down to the desert sand would bring some satisfaction.
Sevens, he hated Azul. Moreso, he hated how well Azul seemed to know him. He couldn’t possibly understand the intricacies of Jamil’s life, so how did he manage to see through everything he said?
How arrogant was he, to think he had the power to change anything?
Jamil sighed as he walked back into the warm atmosphere of Scarabia, students quietly bustling around, some still chatting idly. He was tired. It had already been a long day with the SDC coming up, not to mention the overeager freshmen they’d run into. The task of having to organize and put everything back seemed monumental. It was possibly the most unwelcome thought he’d had in a while.
He’d start with the decor first, he decided. Already organising a mental checklist, Jamil entered only to find the kitchen and dance floor were gloriously empty, leaving him to wonder whether perhaps a goddess had come and blessed him.
“Oh, Jamil!” Kalim popped up in his field of view. He closed his eyes, bracing himself for the ensuing headache. “We already packed everything up, so there’s no need for you to overwork yourself!”
His eyes flew open. “What? Really? … Who is ‘we’?” He asked, immediately suspicious.
“A bunch of students from other dorms volunteered, and our own as well! Octavinelle too, Azul and Jade were giving a hand.” His eyes practically sparkled as he revealed the information.
Azul… really? His first instinct was to berate him, because he was sure at least a dozen things had gone awry underneath Kalim’s watch, but he bit his tongue.
Even Kalim is trying to change for you.
He was certain that it wouldn’t be packed up in the way he preferred to organize it, and that the streamers and decor wouldn’t be folded and put away properly, and that it would take even longer to set up the next inevitable party. He held back those words.
“...Thank you, Kalim.”
His smile was wider than he’d ever seen it.
God, how Jamil hated Azul Ashengrotto.