Chapter Text
Tyler slowly opened his eyes against the light. He'd left the curtains open last night and the sun filtering through was too harsh on his aching eyes. His whole body ached, and he didn't have to look in mirror to know he was littered with bruises. The dirty copper taste in his mouth told him he also suffered a spilt lip.
He steadied himself against the wall as he walked from his bedroom. Rob was nowhere to be seen, Tyler was glad. "Shit." He mumbled as he turned into the kitchen. The floor was littered with broken plates, glasses and Tyler could just about make out a few shards of his porcelain cat ornament that he brought in a thrift shop years ago.
He turned back to grab some shoes in order to walk across the kitchen to retrieve the dustpan. Tyler didn't cry as he grabbed the broom and he held it together as he bent down to sweep the glass up, the pain in his ribs almost unbearable. His eye caught something on the wall above the kitchen bin. A red smear of blood, dull and dark where it had dried overnight. Tyler knew it was his blood. As he stared at the stain, knowing he will properly have to paint over it, he finally cried, the taste of blood in his mouth sickening him.
❤️
Tyler was fixing dinner when Rob came home from work, talking about some new girl in his office. Tyler nodded and made small hums in the appropriate places, his back towards his boyfriend, facing the stove. "Someone's moved in next door." Rob says as he kicks off his shoes and approaches Tyler. "Yeah?" Tyler turns around and he saw it. The flash of shock on Rob's face, gone as soon as it appeared, but Tyler saw. "Yeah, I don't know who though." Rob goes on, his voice calm, face neutral. Tyler nods his head. Are you happy now? He wants to scream, but he stays silent, stirring his pasta sauce.
Tyler was good at carrying on. Carry on like it's okay. He carried on after his mom died, carried on after his dad would hurt him, carrying on hiding his bruises at school. Tyler was good at pretending. He stirred his sauce, the spoon scraping the pan, the handle hurting his palm as Tyler gripped it too tight.
Tyler hadn't looked in the mirror at himself. He had stopped checking his on his injuries months ago and as he didn't work or leave the apartment, there was no need to worry about the bruises. No one would see him. Rob looked after the money, Tyler had to ask if he wanted anything. As they sat eating their pasta together, Tyler briefly wondered how Rob could sit there. Eating, talking and looking Tyler in the eye. Tyler's eyes met the dark red stain on the wall again. He'd forgotten to deal with it, get rid of it like nothing had happened. Like always. He put his fork down. He wasn't hungry anymore.
❤️
There was a quiet tapping sound from the apartment next door. Tyler laid in bed listening, counting the taps. He wondered if his new neighbour was hanging pictures. Tyler imagined a couple, newly married and loved up, kissing as they hung photos of happy times. He smiled to himself as the imaginary husband kissed his imaginary wife on the top of her head. They were happy. Just Happy.
The next few weeks passed without Tyler even seeing his neighbours. He didn't mind, he wasn't allowed to talk to anyone without Rob there so it was easier not to meet new people in the first place. The neighbours were quiet, making Tyler think again about his happy couple idea. There was never voices to be heard or laugher filtering through the walls. Probably a person living alone.Tyler wondered if his neighbour will hear his and Robs fights. Tyler's apartment only had one neighbouring apartment which had been empty since he and Rob moved in a year ago.
He worried for a moment, making a mental note to not make Rob angry. Don't speak when Rob didn't want him to, don't laugh too loud or stand too tall. Tyler had to stay low.
❤️
Rob came home while Tyler was sitting in the living room with his laptop. Rob had stopped Tyler from playing music a year ago and he missed it. He watched the video of some local band in front of him and felt the familiar tug at his chest. He wished it was him. He wanted to be on stage, playing his songs and pouring his feeling out. Rob says something that Tyler didn't catch and he's angry.
"Are you listening?" Rob shouts and Tyler opens his mouth to speak but Rob is grabbing him, pulling him away from his laptop and against the wall. "Well?" He snaps, making Tyler flinch. "I've been working all day Tyler and I don't need shit from you!" Tyler wanted to ask how he had given him shit, but deep down he knew he should have listened in the first place.
"'M sorry-" Tyler said quickly but there it was. The sound of Rob's hand meeting Tyler's face as it echoed around the apartment. Tyler didn't cry. "You're so-" Rob pulled Tyler forward, slamming him back against the wall again before storming out, leaving his sentence unfinished. Tyler stood in the same place, staring at the red stain from weeks ago. It was more of a brown colour now. Tyler didn't know why he hadn't brought himself to cover it yet.
A tap at the door brought Tyler back to where he was. He rushed to open it just in case it was Rob. Tyler opened the door to a muscular man with bleached blond hair wearing a tank top that showed off a full sleeve of colourful tattoos and a pair of loose shorts. "Er-" he looked awkward as he shuffled his feet "I live next door," Tyler cringed, not making eye contact. "Is, er.. Is everything okay?" The man asked and Tyler stiffened. "Yes." He answered, looking at the man's Sock clad feet. The man hesitated. "It's just, I heard banging and shouting and-"
"I knocked something over." Tyler thought he answered too quickly and internally cursed. "Oh." The man said, unsure. "I-it's just, your lip. It's bleeding." Tyler poked his tongue out and felt the sting, tasted the copper. He wiped the back of his hand across his bottom lip. "It fell on me." He answered weakly.
"Oh-" the man says again and Tyler wanted to slam the door and never answer it again. "Okay... well, you need any help?"
"No." Tyler snaps "thanks." He quickly added. He wanted to cry, wanted to scream that yes, I need help. "Okay." The man steps back, ducking his head to catch Tyler's eye. "I'm Josh by the way, if you ever need.. Help, just give me a shout." Tyler meets his eyes and wipes his lip again. He nods. "Sorry for the noise-" and he just about head Josh say "no problem, man" as he shuts the door and leans against it. Tyler wipes his lip again, looking at the blood on his hand. He cries.
The next day, Tyler meets Josh again while he was taking out the trash. Josh smiles and Tyler thinks he must be sponsored by the dentist, his teeth are so perfect. Unlike Tyler's own teeth. "Hey!" Josh greets and Tyler nods his head in a greeting, moving past him. "So how do I work this?" Josh asks motioning towards the garbage shoot. It can be temperamental, the sliding door always getting stuck. Tyler wants to run but instead he turns towards Josh, licking at his sore lip. "It helps if you lift as you pull." He says, not looking at Josh. Josh goes quiet and huffs. Tyler smiles, lifting his eyes to see him struggle. "All those muscles and you can't open a fricking door?" He laughs moving forward to help. "Hey, these are drumming arms, not shitty-sliding-door arms." Josh smiles and steps back to let Tyler show him. "You drum?" Tyler suddenly asks, his eyes wide. He meets Josh's eyes and he's excited. "Yeah, do you?" Josh's eyes flick to Tyler's lip and Tyler self consciously licks at it. "No, I si- used to sing and play piano." Tyler's smile fades and he turns to the garbage shoot again.
"Cool." Josh says. "We can start a band." His voice is light but Tyler panics. He forces out a laugh and opens the door. "Thanks," Josh says lifting his rubbish bag. Tyler nods again and goes to leave. "I'll walk with you," Josh smiles, slamming the door and catching up with Tyler. "What's your name?" Josh asks as they walk the short distance. "Tyler." They are at their door's now and Tyler opens his a tiny bit wanting to dive inside. Josh smiles "Nice to meet you Tyler."
"You too Josh." They nod at each other as Tyler heads in. He shuts the door and leans against it. Tyler smiles.
Tyler doesn't tell Rob about meeting Josh. It was Rob that brought it up during dinner a few days later. "I spoke to the guy next door-" Rob says casually. Tyler tenses "yeah?" He says, his voice even. "He mentioned that he had met you-" Tyler hums "I was taking the trash-"
"Yeah I know." Rob snapped "you were bragging about being a singer." That cuts Tyler "it wasn't like-"
"You're not special Tyler, you know that?" Tyler does know, he really does. "Do you?" He raises his voice and Tyler nods. "What? I didn't hear."
"I'm not special." Tyler says, looking at his chicken "what are you?" Rob demands and Tyler closes his eyes "nothing. I'm nothing." Rob gets up. "Stay away from him Tyler." He warns as he walked to their bedroom. Tyler starts as Rob slamms the door shut.
Tyler started to clear up the dinner things, his mind on Josh. Did Josh think that? That Tyler was bragging? No, it was Josh who asked, Tyler had simply answered. Tyler threw down the damp towel he was using to dry the dishes. It didn't matter what Josh thought of him, he figured, Tyler wouldn't be seeing him again, he would make sure of that.
❤️
Tyler sat on the floor, his back against the wall. He couldn't see straight. He tried to move his arm but the pain was too much. He cried out, tears rolling down his face. Tyler took a few shaky breathes, trying to calm his breathing. "Please-please-please." He mumbled praying that his arm wasn't broken. Tyler whined as he brought his arm up to cradle against his stomach. He tried to remember what set Rob off but everything was a blur. He felt sick and dizzy. "Tyler?" Josh's voice called from behind the door. "I know you're there and.." He pauses "hurt." Tyler bit his lip against the pain. "I-I can't move." Tyler tried to shout but it was more like a mumble of words. "Is your door unlocked?"
The next thing Tyler knew, Josh was beside him. He guessed the door was unlocked and he wasn't sure if he was relieved or not. "Tyler?" Josh knelt beside him "What did he do?"
"I fell down the stairs.." Tyler mumbled, his eyes swimming. "There are no stairs, Tyler." Josh answered and Tyler opened his eyes. He was confused. He didn't know where he was. "I think you have concussion-" Josh told him "and a broken arm, fuck." Tyler shook his head "'m okay" he tried to stand, he needed to throw up.
The next time Tyler opened his eyes, Josh was holding him against his chest. "The ambulance is on it's way Tyler-"
"The stairs," Tyler said trying to breathe. "stairs.."
"You have to be carful next time," Josh tells him "those stairs are dangerous." Tyler looked at Josh and cried.
Tyler had his arm in a cast after a bunch of X-rays. He had cried through the pain and felt stupid but Josh stayed with him the entire time, only leaving when the X-rays were being done. "Are you okay?" He asked, speaking for the first time since they arrived. Tyler nodded and bit his finger nail. "You said you fell-"
"I know." Tyler looked at his cast "my old house had stairs and that was always my excuse. I was confused." Josh nodded.
"I wasn't bragging-" Tyler said after a stretch of silence "when I told you about my singing." Tyler still felt sick. He picked at his nail some more. Josh frowned "I know you weren't. I was glad to speak to you."
"Rob said he'd spoken to you." Tyler met Josh's gaze and he saw the realisation dawn on him. "Shit, I didn't get you into trouble did I?" Tyler shook his head "He just stormed off." He said. "You have blue hair." Tyler smiled a bit, shifting his body on the hospital bed, so he faced Josh.
"A change is good." Josh told him, his eyes sad. "I could hear it all." Tyler chewed the skin around his nail. "I'm-"
"Don't you dare say sorry." Josh cut in. Tyler closed his mouth. There was silence again, but that was okay. Tyler didn't feel uneasy like he did when Rob was quiet. He felt safe. "Go to your patents' house." Josh suddenly said, a slight plea in his voice. "I don't have parents." Tyler watched a nurse walk by and wondered when he could leave. They wanted to keep him in over night because Josh told them he had lost conciseness. Tyler refused.
"All I have is Rob." Tyler's voice was raspy. He pulled a bit of nail off with his teeth, making his finger bleed. Josh gently pulled his hand away, placing it in Tyler's lap. "You have me." Josh told him. Tyler looked at his blue hair. He wished he was brave enough to have blue hair. Tyler brought his finger back up to his mouth. Josh pulled it away again. He didn't let go of Tyler's hand this time.
Tyler told Rob that he got a taxi to the hospital. He was mad but Tyler reassured him that the hospital staff didn't ask questions. Tyler had made Josh promise him, on his life, that he was secret safe. Josh wanted to kick Rob's ass, but Tyler explained it would make it ten times worse. "I'll see you tomorrow," Josh told him, his jaw clenched. He was tense. "After he's gone to work, I'll come 'round." Tyler agreed and left him in the taxi, walking up to his apartment alone.
"You just make me so angry." Rob sighed "why do you do this to yourself? Now you've landed yourself with a broken arm Tyler." Tyler looked at his shoes. "I'm sorry. I don't mean to." He mumbled. "And I suppose I now have to look after you?" Rob went on, his face unreadable "I'll have to stay home tomorrow and wait on you-" Tyler's face flushed. "No I can manage." Tyler said. He wanted to see Josh again, he needed him. Someone who cared, someone to talk to. "It's my fault, you don't need to suffer because of me." Tyler mentally slapped himself. Why was so he so stupid all the time? Why did he always drive Rob to this? "Let me make it up to you-" Tyler quickly said "let's go to bed." Tyler met Rob's gaze and stomach lurched. Rob got up and headed for the bedroom, without saying anything. Tyler followed, undoing his pants with one hand and getting on his hands and knees, steadying himself on his one hand. He tried to not cry.
❤️
"Shit." Tyler hissed, watching the small white pills scatter. He had tried to pop the cap with his one hand but as he had broken his right arm, he was getting used to using his left hand. He gathered up the painkillers, looking down at the handful. I could just take these, he thought. Tyler could stuff them in his mouth before Josh would even arrive. A small knock brought Tyler back. He headed for the door to let Josh in. Too late.
"Hey." Josh smiled. Tyler thought he ha a kind smile. Tyler smiled back and noticed Josh's own smile slip. "You okay?" He looked at the handful of pills and Tyler closed his hand around them. "Yeah, I spilled them. Just picked them up." Tyler walked back to the kitchen where the half empty pill pot sat and tipped them back inside, apart from the two he was going to take.
Josh followed him, watching him and Tyler was nervous. Tyler turned towards him, his eyes on the dark blood stain that was still there, just behind were Josh was standing. "I thought about taking them." He said looking at Josh. Tyler wanted to take back the words as soon as he spoke them as Josh's kind smile was replaced with a look of concern, a hint of sadness. Josh waited for Tyler to continue so he did. "I just hurt-" he leaned against the counter, still looking at the stain. "All over. Inside and out."
"You're strong Tyler." Josh's kind face was back, but Tyler could see behind it. The concern was still there. "You're going to leave him, get away." Tyler started to shake his head. Did Josh not think he hadn't thought about it? Of course he had. It could never work. "And do what Josh?" He demanded. "No money, no family and certainly no friends!" Tyler winced at the pain shooting through his arm. Josh was there, a hand on his back, his kind eyes searching Tyler's.
"Come on." Josh whispered pulling Tyler against his chest. Josh's arms were wrapped around Tyler, the side of Tyler's face resting against the spot just below Josh's neck on his chest. Tyler was tense, he wasn't used to physical contact like this. Josh made no signs of letting go and as Tyler started to relax into the hug, he tried to remember the last time someone actually gave him a hug. Tyler started to cry against Josh, Josh's soft voice telling him that he will be okay. Josh promised him.
Josh spent the day making Tyler drinks, fixing him food and he even went to his house to get his hula hoop to prove to Tyler that he can keep it up for five minuets. Tyler laughed, watching Josh hula, a big smile of triumph on his face. "Why do you even have that?" Tyler asked once Josh had celebrated his new record of seven minuets. "To hula." Josh said with a shrug like it was the most obvious thing in the world. Tyler laughed harder.
Josh left just before 5pm. Rob normally came home at 5.30 but Josh didn't want to risk it and Tyler was thankful. "See you tomorrow." Josh pulled Tyler into a hug. "No more reckless thoughts about taking pills." He said quietly and Tyler nodded. He didn't say anything back, embarrassed and ashamed. Tyler missed him. As soon as he closed the door behind him, he wanted to call him back or follow him into his own apartment. Tyler opened his laptop and brought up YouTube. He thought about Josh's kind smile and not about the pills in his kitchen.
❤️
"So what's the story?" Josh asked through a mouthful of Doritos. Tyler looked at his own pile of Doritos. "What story?" Tyler knew what Josh was referring to. He wanted to know how Tyler ended up like this. Tyler knew he could trust Josh. He'd been coming over everyday since he had found Tyler with his arm broken. Tyler missed him at the weekend, but Rob was hardly home at weekends, Tyler didn't know where he went. He and Josh liked the same things, Tyler found Josh funny and instantly liked him. Tyler was starting to wonder when Josh would ask. "Y'know. How did you end up with this douche?"
"He wasn't always like that." Tyler told him, his eyes meeting Josh's. "I dropped out of school at sixteen, had to get away from my dad." Josh's brow furrowed. "He used to beat me black and blue."
Tyler moved his pile of chips that were on his lap. He wasn't hungry. "So I got a job at Walmart and saved up, moved into a basement I rented. It was a family that wanted a lodger to help pay for hospital care for their old mother. They were sweet." Tyler faintly smiles, remembering the couple and their child. "I met Rob a year later, he came to my checkout and we got talking. Within a year I had moved out of the basement and into Rob's house that he shared with three guys."
Josh stuffed more chips in his mouth, listening. "Rob ended up with a job so we could just about afford a tiny bedsit. I was eighteen and just glad to have someone who loved me." Tyler spoke with no emotion. He didn't feel anything. "Not long after that he started getting angry, shouting all the time and pushing me about. I had nowhere to go, but it was okay because he would always hold me, say sorry, promise he'll change. I believed him. In the end, he got a promotion and earned enough that he wanted me to give up Walmart for good. We moved into a house together, a small one near to his work."
Tyler shifted his legs so they were crossed. "He started hitting me not long after that." Josh put the bag of Doritos on the table. "How old are you now?"
"25." Tyler answered. "Six years." He filled in, knowing that's what Josh was asking. How long has he been hitting you? How long have lived like this? How long have taken this shit? Tyler replayed the questions in his head. Josh didn't say anything for a while. "You gonna eat your chips?" Tyler met his eyes. Those kind eyes, and he relaxed. "Yes." He said, taking one and popping it in his mouth. "Good." Josh smiled.
❤️
When Rob got home Tyler could tell he was in a bad mood. He bitched about Tyler's outfit and caused an argument, telling Tyler it looked stupid. Tyler didn't understand what his problem was, he was wearing sweat pants and a white T-shirt. Tyler didn't say sorry for what he was wearing.
That night, Tyler ran himself a bath, carful not to get his cast wet. He soaked his bruises he got that night and thought about Josh. Imagined him playing his drums. Tyler wondered what his blue hair looked like in the lights. Tyler sunk into the bath and cried.
❤️
Josh was working on his laptop, tapping quickly. The tv was on, but Tyler was watching Josh work. He found out that Josh made websites, mostly for bands, which allowed him to work from home. He was in the middle of telling Tyler about where he used to live and how he had to move because there was a fire at his old apartment "it wasn't my fault though, don't worry, I won't burn this place down." Tyler laughed "I always thought there was something dodgy about you!" Tyler laughed from across the small kitchen table.
Josh made an offended noise as he shoved Tyler lightly. Tyler winced. He had a particularly big bruise on his bicep and Josh had caught it. Josh froze before pulling Tyler's sleeve up. He could only see part of the freshly purple skin, but that was enough. "Was this last night?" Josh asked, his eyes hardened and Tyler looked away.
"For fuck sake Tyler!" Josh suddenly shouted, standing up. His chair fell back and Tyler physically flinched at the sudden movement, his hand coming up to cover his face. Tyler felt sick again. Josh was by his side in an instant. "I'm so sorry, I didn't mean to scare you-" he whispered, kneeling down in front of him. "I'm sorry Tyler, please don't be scared of me." Tyler put his hand down and Josh held it tight. Tyler was shaking and he knew Josh could feel him.
"Ty." Josh's free hand came to rest on Tyler's cheek, cupping his face. "I'm sorry." Tyler met Josh's eyes only to find that Josh was crying. "Don't cry." Tyler whispered, the sick feeling washing over him again. "I didn't mean to shout Ty. It just-" Josh paused, chewing at his lip "it makes me so mad." Josh's eyes ran over Tyler's arm and back to his eyes. "It makes me mad that he hurts you, Ty. Please just leave."
Tyler opened his mouth to protest. They've been through this, almost daily. Josh knows he can't leave. "I have money. Savings. I can help get you somewhere, far away, please?" Josh was still crying and Tyler's heart sunk. Tyler had dragged Josh down. He was quite happy living his life, now he was stuck babysitting Tyler. "I can't take your money Josh."
"I don't need it. And you can get a job, pay me back, call it a loan?" Josh's grip tightened on Tyler's hand and Tyler squeezed back. "Let me think about it?" Tyler knew the answer, he wasn't going to take Josh's money, money that he had worked hard for. Josh nodded and leaned forward, resting his head on Tyler's chest. Tyler wrapped his arm around him and rested his head on Josh's shoulder.
❤️
Josh stood up when Tyler's name was called and followed him into the consulting room. Tyler silently thanked him. Josh had brought him to his appointment to check on his arm. It had been almost a month since Tyler has broken it. He was hoping it was healing nicely, so he could get his cast off in a few weeks. Tyler sat down on the bed and picked at his nail. Josh pulled his hand away.
"Okay, so we're changing your cast," the nurse smiled "you'll have an X-ray and we will replace the cast." Tyler nodded and bit at his nail. The nurse approached him with the biggest pair of scissors Tyler's ever seen. His arm hurt and Tyler couldn't stand the thought of someone touching it. He looked at Josh and Josh cleared his throat. "Will this hurt?" Josh asked on Tyler's behalf. "Not too much. It can be... Uncomfortable." The nurse said, holding Tyler's arm. Josh squeezed his hand.
Tyler cried twice and felt ridiculous. "I think you done well-" Josh told him as he he drove them home. "I would have been screaming."
"You're just trying to make me feel better." Tyler smiled, rubbing over his new cast. He chose the blue colour cast. "Nuh-uh I'm such a baby." Josh smiles again.
Josh had offered to take Tyler to lunch but Tyler said he had to get back. He couldn't risk being seen out. Josh swung by a drive through Taco Bell instead. They ate in silence and Josh took the wrappers straight out to the trash shoot. "I'm playing a gig tonight." Josh said when he got back, his phone in his hand. Tyler guessed he had only just received the call. "I wish you could come."
Tyler did too. He wanted more than anything to see Josh play.
"My friend is putting on an after party." Josh flopped down next to Tyler on the sofa. Tyler felt his stomach flip. He didn't want to hear about Josh's friends. Tyler wanted to believe that Josh was all his, just like Josh was all that Tyler had. Tyler nodded trying to smile. "That nurse was nice-" Josh changed the subject and Tyler felt guilty. Josh should be able to hang out with his friends and talk about them without feeling guilty for Tyler.
❤️
"Don't freak out." Tyler said as soon as Josh walked in. Tyler had given Josh the spare key, Josh had asked him, just in case something happened to Tyler and the door was locked. Tyler guessed that was a good point. Josh looked tired and as his eyes drifted towards Tyler, they widened. Tyler had a bruised face from the night before. "Ty.." Josh breathed out, his hand cupping Tyler's face. "I was-"
"It doesn't matter what you were doing, this shouldn't happen. It's not your fault." Josh told him. Tyler nodded. "How was the party?" Josh sighed but dropped the subject of Tyler's bruising, as ways. "Okay." He said, taking a seat on the sofa.
Josh had work to do and concentrated on his laptop, glancing at Tyler every now and then. Tyler smiled at him and Josh smiled back, shutting his laptop. "You okay?" He shifted around so he was facing Tyler, his back leaning on the arm of the couch. Tyler nodded. "Thank you Josh." Tyler had been thinking about everything Josh was doing for him. How happy Josh made Tyler feel. "For what?" Josh smiled again and Tyler could look at that smile all day. "Being my friend."
"You're my best friend Ty." Josh sat up slightly, leaning forward towards Tyler. "You're mine." Tyler told him.
"I wish I could help you." Josh dropped his eyes. "You are. Just being here helps me." Tyler put his hand on Josh's, he turned his hand to hold Tyler's properly. "You are amazing." Josh told him. "You're a good person. Don't believe what he says, you're special Ty."
Tyler didn't know who moved first. All he knew was that he was crying and Josh's lips were against his, warm and slightly chapped. Tyler leaned into the kiss, his hand cupping Josh's face. Josh broke the kiss, moving his lips to Tyler's cheek, kissing away any tears that fell. Tyler closed his eyes. "I think I like you." He whispered. His heart was beating too hard, Tyler could feel it in his head. Josh pulled back, meeting Tyler's eyes. "I know I like you." He said before kissing Tyler on the lips again. The kiss was more intense, lips parting, Josh's tongue lightly touching Tyler's lip. Tyler parted his lips further, his own tongue meeting Josh's, tasting him.
Josh laid Tyler back, carful of his arm and leaned over him, never breaking the kiss. Josh rested his head in the crook of Tyler's neck. Tyler's hand drew circles on Josh's back, his head spinning. He don't know what to feel, he couldn't concentrate on anything other than the happiness running through his body. Tyler's heart was pounding, he was overwhelmed.
"Ty.." Tyler shifted slightly. "Tyler, c'mon" Josh's voice was louder this time, his hand nudging Tyler, he opened his eyes and found himself laying on top of Josh, his head on his chest. Tyler hummed, groggy from the sleep. "It's time." Josh said, giving Tyler another nudge. "I need to leave." Tyler sat himself up, blinking. "Was I asleep that long?" He croaked, moving off of Josh reluctantly. Josh nodded "you needed it. Was out." Tyler hummed again. He couldn't remember the last time he slept well.
Josh left, leaving Tyler with one last kiss. Tyler tidied up, throwing away the Doritos bag and hoovering. He ha just finished when Rob came home. "Hey-" he mumbled, walking past Tyler and taking off his tie. "Hi." Tyler's heart sank. He imagined Josh coming home, his smile and a kiss greeting Tyler. "Is dinner on?" Tyler's heart stopped.
"No, I was just-"
"Tyler." Rob turned to fix him with a glare. "You know I want dinner ready when I come in. Why haven't you done it? What have you been doing all day?" He was getting steadily angrier, his voice raising. Tyler's eyes widened. He didn't know how to get out of this. "I..I thought we could order?" Tyler stumbled. "For a treat? I've been putting you through so much, with my arm and, and, y'know.. And I know how much you love pizza.. Thought it would be.. Nice."
Rob studied Tyler, his eyes running over him once. "Okay." He drew out the O as he spoke. Tyler's heart stopped. "Yeah, okay. Call them." Rob waved an arm in the air between them and walked to the bedroom. Tyler let out a breath. "Okay." He nodded to himself, going to the kitchen draw for the menu and grabbing the house phone.
❤️
Tyler sunk down in the bath, letting the warm water surround him. He stayed under for as long as possible, until his lungs burned and he had to pop up for air. Tyler flinched as he moved his leg, the dull ache intensifying every time he moved in the wrong way. Rob had wanted sex and as always, Tyler couldn't say no. Just had to bend over and wait for Rob to finish. Tyler never got touched during sex, but the thought of Rob touching him turned his stomach.
Tyler thought about Josh. Imagined the way his muscles moved under his skin, the way his lips would feel on Tyler's body. Tyler imagined Josh going slow, preparing him properly, using lube so it wouldn't hurt. A smile creeped on to Tyler's lip at the thought of Josh letting Tyler top. Tyler had never topped, but he bet Josh would let him. Josh was fair, he would let Tyler top, maybe take it in turns.
Tyler bit his lip as he imagined kissing Josh, starting at his lips and moving down his chest, moving down to his thighs. Josh didn't have to get on all fours, that's not how Tyler and Josh would do it, he thought. They would lay on their back, the other on top, peppering kisses all over each other, whispering sweet words and going slow. Tyler's hand slipped down his chest, taking himself into his hand.
He couldn't remember the last time he did this. Tyler never felt the need, but as he gave himself a few slow pumps, he felt like he was going to loose it. Tyler put his other hand over his mouth, keeping himself quiet as he sped up his movements, Josh's face behind his closed eyes. Josh's lips parted, his head thrown back as a low moan of Tyler's name escaped him, Tyler slowly fucking him, telling him how good he felt, how he made Tyler feel.
Tyler came, his hips bucking wildly in the water, tiny noises, in the back of his throat. He stroked himself through it, pulling away when it was too much. He lay in the water for a few moments, catching his breath. He felt lonely. Tyler splashed some water over him, washing away the mess before pulling the plug. He sat in the bath as the water drained away and cried.
❤️
Josh pulled away with a smile "the coffee is ready." Tyler groaned. "You prefer coffee to kissing?" He made to stand up while Josh laughed. "Hey, it's coffee dude. Important." Tyler rolled his eyes as he headed toward the coffee maker.
"You're bleeding!" Josh's voice was suddenly panicked and Tyler froze on the spot, his hand touching the back of his light grey sweat pants. Josh stood up from the sofa and Tyler knew he had to explain. Josh would not let this go. "Me and Rob, er- had sex last night" Tyler felt himself blush and headed for the bathroom, forgetting the coffee. Josh followed him, looking stern. "And you're bleeding why?" Tyler looked at him through the bathroom mirror.
"He doesn't like to erm, use.."
"Lube!?" Josh's eyes widened, he looked horrified. Tyler wanted to be anywhere else but here, explaining this to Josh. "It happens." Tyler shrugged. "No big deal" Tyler didn't mention how much Rob hurts him. How he wished he was anywhere else in world. Josh shook his head and left Tyler to change.
"That isn't normal." Josh stated as soon as Tyler returned to the sofa. Josh had made the coffee while Tyler changed. He was sore still. "I'll be okay in a day or so." He said calmly. This had happened before, and when Tyler googled it, he found out it was probably a small tear. Nothing to worry about unless bleeding profusely. That's what it said, what Tyler repeated in his head.
Tyler chewed his finger nail and Josh pulled his hand away from his face. "It's easier to just get on all fours, let him have a go and it's over." Tyler explained, the horrified look returning to Josh's face. Josh didn't comment and Tyler started talking about the movie he had watched on Netflix that week.
Josh left early that day, a quick peck on the lips, his hands on either side of Tyler's face and Tyler knew it was his fault. He should have been more carful, now he's scared Josh away. Maybe Josh had finally had enough of Tyler's issues. Tyler wouldn't blame him, but he couldn't loose Josh. Josh was the only thing keeping Tyler sane. Tyler's eyes studied the pill pot on the counter.
He decided to clean his sweat pants. He concentrated on scrubbing the blood out, not thinking about the pills. Tyler was strong. Josh told him so. Josh promised that Tyler would be okay.
❤️
Rob slammed his keys down and gritted his teeth. Tyler watched on from the kitchen. He was nervous. Rob came in and Tyler smiled "Hey." He greeted, happily "your favourite for dinner-" Tyler took his jacket and Rob sat down at the table. "Rough day?" Tyler asked, trying to steady his voice. Rob sighed, rubbing at his eye. He didn't answer Tyler. They ate in silence.
"You know what I need?" Rob asked as Tyler had finished his bath and entered the bedroom. Tyler's heart stopped. He was still sore, he couldn't. Rob reached for Tyler's wrist and pulled him down on to the bed. "Babe-" Tyler tried to push Rob lightly. "I don't think I can." Tyler told him, his voice light.
Rob pulled him so Tyler was laying on his stomach and Tyler crawled towards the pillows "I can't-" his voice as practically a beg. "You will!" Rob shouted, pulling him back. Tyler panicked "I've been bleeding, I can't-" Rob's lips were on his suddenly and Tyler pushed him away, this time hard. Rob stared down at Tyler and Tyler knew what was coming. He sprung up and ran for the door, but Rob was quicker. Tyler screamed as Rob dragged him down.
"Please?" Tyler cried out while Rob stripped his vest off of him "I'm bleeding! I can't have sex!" Rob straddled Tyler, and as much as he tried, Tyler couldn't get away. "You'll do as I say!" Rob shouted, his hand coming down hard against Tyler's face. "No!" Tyler shouted, thrashing his legs. Rob was working at Tyler's pyjama pants, but Tyler wouldn't give in. He was in pain.
This isn't normal. Josh's words echoed around his head.
"No! Please!" Tyler cried, his face damp, his body hurt and he reached his fist up to the wall. He needed to knock. Needed Josh. Before Tyler could knock though, Rob pulled him down again. He twisted Tyler's arm around his back and held his head against the pillow. Tyler was stuck, his ass in the air, his face smashed into the pillow painfully, leaving blood stains from his lip.
Tyler heard the front door, his heart speeding up, Rob didn't notice the noise and leaned down to bite Tyler's shoulder. Before Tyler knew it, Rob was being pulled off of him, landing on the floor and Josh was punching him. Tyler looked on in shock as Josh grabbed Rob by his T-shirt and pulled him up, holding him against the wall. "Don't you fucking touch him."