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I wait at me and okaruns wall hugging my arms around my sweater. Shivers spread around me from the cold as I people watch. small snowflakes fall onto my eyelashes making my vision blur. But I could never miss his face even with my vision blurred.
“Miss ayase! You look so cold why are you waiting here instead of inside!” Okarun says as he runs up to me with a tone of concern.
“Oh please did you think a little cold was going to stop me from hanging out with my favorite person.” I say with an attitude even though I am actually dying from the frost.
A small laugh escaped his lips as he brought his head down awkwardly making a few delicate snowflakes flutter off his black hair. As he brings his head back up I can tell the cold also got to him by the noticeable rose color across his cheeks nose and ears. He’s so cute always worrying about me certainly better than any boyfriend i’ve ever had…
“You wanna walk now?” Okarun says with a half smile twirling his fingers around one another waiting for my approval. Instead of responding I grab his shoulder trying to pull him next to me so we can walk side by side but I end up putting him directly in-front of me. I don’t even know how I messed that up badly but it doesn’t matter our faces are inches apart from one another breathing cold fog. I can smell the stupid dental gum he uses as his mouth shutters letting out small sounds of fear. we both are frozen in the moment as people walk past but the only people in the world was me and him until I jumped away.
“Ahh s-sorry okarun I ment to put you next to me” I say as I turn my head away allowing him to scurry next to me. We walk in silence as a million senecios run through my mind.
what if we kissed
I could’ve kissed him!
what if he had kissed me
should I have kissed him
“Uhh miss Ayase are you okay? You seem a bit spaced out do you wanna talk.” Okarun says biting his cheeks as he turns his head to look at me.
“Yep all good everything is fine no need to worry hahah im just uh tired and cold!” I blurt out trying to sound as casual as possible but I completely bomb it. I can tell hes skeptical but he just looks back forward and says.
“We should just go back to my place Instead of the cafe I can make you hot tea at home and uh show you the new comics I bought for you I think you will really like them they’re about ghosts it will be fun.”
he bought me comics?
I can tell he’s nervous by the speed of his words. I just shake my head yes and take his hand into mine from excitement. Hearing that he thought about me and used his own money to buy comics for me made my heart jump. His fingers twitch trying to pull away but I grab tighter not letting him remove the warmth he provided.
“W-what are you doing miss ayase?”
“My hands got cold is this okay?”
“Yeah yeah it’s totally okay with me if you feel okay with this of course.”
I laugh at him and say “I grabbed your hand first dummy obviously i’m okay with it.”
he laughs awkwardly and loosens the stiffness in his fingers ever so slightly. As we walk I can feel him get closer and closer till our shoulders are touching as he glides his thumb across my glove. Maybe I should ask him today maybe he feels the same way I really like him.. more than he knows.
based on the way he’s acting I would say he’s into me but if I put myself into his shoes he’s awkward and a bit scared of me so maybe he’s just trying to be nice to me but then again the way he responded earlier he was totally into me holding his hand plus the way he kept walking closer and doing the thumb thing could definitely signal he wants to be more than friends but then again he’s a big people pleaser so maybe he wants me to think he’s into me so I feel reassured instead of actually expressing his true emotions but then again he could also-
“uhh miss ayase you’re mumb-“
“AHHHH oh uh sorry you scared me
there hahah...” shit shit shit did i say any of that out loud this is so embarrassing. Im crazy I need to stop thinking about what me and Okaruns relationship is this is stupid why do I have to like him, I mean I know why hes so perfect in every way but I just wish it could’ve been someone I didn’t do all of this cool ghost and alien stuff with I mean who else is going to do that with me the same as Okarun does. I value our friendship more than anything I love him so much.
“so whats up with you miss ayase anything interesting happen today?”
says Okarun with a smile. He asks me about my day everyday and he truly does care about every detail I tell him. He lets me blabber on about random drama nonsense kei told me about. before I knew it we were already at his house. Okarun opened the door for me and my body got hit with the warmth of the air inside. I shuttered from how good it felt and jumped through the door in an instant.
“oh my goodness this feels so good I never want to leave.” I say and I flop onto the couch with one shoe still on. Okarun comes over and slides the shoe off my foot slightly fixing my sock since the pressure slipped the heel off
I don’t deserve him he’s so sweet to me.
As Im still sprawled across the couch Okarun kneels down to my level to ask me what tea I wanted listing the flavors like a waiter would. Even though I already know what I want to pick I let him say them all just so he stays longer.
I could kiss him right now just grab his face and do it we’re already even closer than we were earlier why cant I just do it.
I just give him my “order” and sigh. This is truly pathetic. I hear him call my name from the kitchen so i drag my feet across the floor wrapped up in a blanket Okarun tossed on top of me before he left. The blanket was covered in his scent that made me feel so safe.
“whats up?”
“sorry I didn’t wanna mess up the amount of sugar and honey you wanted” Okarun says as he puts the sugar in his own cup. I stand right next to him grabbing a spoon. I mix my tea with a fast pace as he slowly swirls around the spoon waiting for me to finish. I nudge him as I turn around signaling im finished so we head back to the living room.
“d-do you wanna maybe come to my room instead all the books are up their so it would be easier but if thats weird I can just carry all of them down.” Okarun blurts out avoiding my gaze.
“Dont be silly its not weird lets go” I say grabbing his hand with one and holding my tea in the other completely disregarding my blanket onto the floor. The only warmth I need is from his hand holding mine.
We make it up to his room and i plop down on my back into his soft warm perfectly made bed. I can hear him rummaging around for something so I lift my head up being nosy. I snuggled myself down into his blankets taking off my sweater since it’s all wet from the snow outside. I throw it onto the floor at the end of the bed and turn to look at Okarun creating a wall of books.
“Hey could I borrow a hoodie my sweater got totally soaked from outside but i’m still cold.” He looks at me, eyes widening with a bit of fear and confusion.
“Uh yeah of course um here take this one I just put on.” Okarun says as he lifts his hoodie off. His is still dry because he always buttons his jacket to the top. I don’t because it’s ugly but I do pay the price. As he lifts it over his head his shirt gets stuck lifts up and i see a glimpse of his abs.
God he’s so hot I sometimes forget he’s actually jacked. I wonder why he gave me the hoodie he was already wearing instead of just grabbing one. I mean he’s grabbing a new one for himself right now. Im not actually complaining though this hoodie is already all warm from him. I pull the sleeves over my hands and throw the hood over my head.
“Hey Okarun would you play the Arctic monkeys?” I say because I love music and having background music is a must.
“The what?” he says confused to be fair it is a weird name but how does he not know the Arctic monkeys?!
“NO WAY I love the Arctic monkeys I’ll put it on my phone right now you need to listen.” Okarun smiles at me getting excited about it. I press play on a playlist that has all of their love songs since they’re my favorite. He crawls into the bed holding a few different books. He stays on top of the blankets lying sideways to face me directly as he tells me about them. “Love is a laserquest” plays in the background as he hands me a book and scoots closer to me so he can point out things I wont notice in the pictures. His fingers brush my hair a few times accidentally. I decided to be bold so I hand him the book and slide under his arm to lay on his chest.
“I uh miss aya- momo what are you doing?”
“Just thought it would be easier to show me things like this plus it is absolutely freezing I don’t know how you’re not under the blankets.”
“I didn’t want it to be weird so I stayed on top but I really am cold.”
“Oh my god okarun get under the blankets you’re being ridiculous come here.” I lift up the blanket for him and he slides under leaving room between us but I don’t give up. I scoot back onto his chest closer than before and put my leg over his wrapping my arm around his waist. He continues with talking about the book but now he’s less enthusiastic and over the top he must be nervous. He reads the words to me and abruptly stops his sentence putting the book down.
“I have a question for you.” Okarun says grabbing my hand to hold it.
“Okay I don’t know whats been going on lately but our friendship has felt different” Okarun says pushing his fingers into my palm.
I can feel the fear in my voice but I still say “different how?” trying to not freak out.
“Well maybe I’m picking up on this the wrong way but do you like me..? Like more than a friend like me?” he knows oh my god this is the end.
“Im sorry I never wanted you to find out and ruin our friendship you are one of the best friends I’ve ever had and I don’t want to ruin that because of these stupid feelings that I have for you. I can get over them please don’t leave me please I need my sidekick.” I cry begging out to him nestling my head into his neck helplessly. He holds me but not a friend way this time one hand is on my waist and the other is on my head holding me close like I could slip away at any moment. I cry into his shoulder as he strokes my back with his fingers so gently.
He whispers so softly in my ear “Momo I like you too” I lift my head up as his fingers release from my head.
“Since when?” I ask sitting up looking at his blushing face wiping my tears away as fast as I can.
“I think since we had first met honestly. You’re just so cool and interesting your personality is perfect and Ive always thought of you as the most beautiful girl I know. I cant believe you like me I’m just a weird guy who’s into aliens and well… you.”
I feel my cheeks burning up from his weird way of flirting. Most people would think it’s cringe but I think he's adorable. Our heads twitch closer to one another and Okarun cups my cheek with his hand pulling me against his lips. He moves his hands effortlessly around me knowing exactly what I want almost like he can read my mind. Gently he brings me to my back so he is on top of me. As he pulls back in to kiss me again I reach my hand under his loose hoodie feeling his warm skin. His breath gets more shaky as I trace around his abs. I can tell his anxiety was easing and the tension was rising after every passing minute together. I run my fingers through his hair as he moves his lips faster on mine breathing heavily. My music still plays in the background making this even more perfect. I always imagined kissing Okarun to the Arctic monkeys. His rough hands glide under my hoodie holding my bare waist. I reach up slowly sliding off the hoodie letting him help. He sits on top of me and I unbuttoned my school shirt pulling him back in after I finish.
“mmh Youre so beautiful momo.” Okarun says in between our kisses.
I push the fabric of his hoodie more and more off his back until he practically rips it off his skin diving back onto me when he finished. This time he gives me a quick kiss and scoots down away from my lips to my neck kissing it softly.
“Okarun wait don’t make a mark grandmas going to kill me.” I say grabbing his face.
“your right what if i went here instead is that okay” Okarun says gesturing to my chest I shake my head yes and push his head back down.
Slightly moving my bra to the side he kisses my breasts. His hips move in rhythm with his lips.. fast than soft. I twist my fingers into his soft hair. Okarun crawls back up to face me. Instead of kissing me right away he stares into my eyes. I look at all the small details on his face letting fingers glide around his jaw. slowly i push him up off of me as I sit up. We both stare still sitting in-front of each other before I straddle in his lap. He was startled by this but took me in by my waist. My arms wrapped under his holding him close. Soft kisses I plant around his head before going back to his lips. I slow down my pace leaving lingering kisses in his mouth. My body slips back under him bringing him into my embrace. My arms wrapped tightly around his back as he lays on me. We stay like this for a while just listening to each others breathing over the music. Slight hums escape my lips as I flip my eyes shut. The room is completely dark except for the small lamp in the corner providing a green aura.
“I love you momo” okarun says into my chest quietly.
“I love you ken” I say kissing his head softly after moving my fingers out of the way.
I pull the blanket over our bodies and feel Okarun hug me tighter. I nuzzle my face into his loose curls for warmth before we both doze off together forgetting we had school tomorrow.
“KEN WAKE UP YOUR LATE!” yells a voice from the hallway getting closer.
“Oh shit, Momo put your shirt on!” okarun says flying off me as he flips his own hoodie on. The door opens quickly stopping abruptly.
“Who the hell are you, ken why is there a girl wearing your sweatshirt in your bed!?” That must be his dad he’s so dead.
“I uh this is miss ayase… its nothing like that she my friend she was just cold we didn’t mean to fall asleep.”
okarun says walking towards the door while i sit in the bed unable to move. My school shirt is still on the floor please dont look down.
“Oh yeah sure she was just cold.” he says picking up my shirt flinging it at me.
“Ken we are going to have a serious talk when you get home did you atleast use protection!” He says and I actually let out a small laugh not enough for him to notice though.
“WHAT DAD NO we didn’t do any of that I swear!” Okarun says freaking out pushing his dad and him out of the room closing the door. I sit frozen scared grabbing my phone to turn off the music. I check the time and see it’s 8:20 school starts in 10 minutes! I get myself properly dressed in my uniform that got thrown onto the floor. Im way too scared to go outside so I rummage around his room looking for a brush something anything but i’m out of luck. Slowly I creak the door open and see an empty hallway. Creeping towards the bathroom door trying to be quiet.
“knock knock hey is anyone in here” No response
My hands twist the knob to find an empty bathroom. Immediately drawn to the skin I splash my face with the cold water. I forcefully brush through my ratty hair. Wow i look like shit. Dragging my feet out of the bathroom I go downstairs and see Okarun frantically packing his school bag. His dad is nowhere to be found which is weird but I don’t care I don’t want to see that guy. Okarun waits by the door as I quickly slip my shoes on. Opening the door for me as we leave in a dash. He slips off his shoes and hands them to me I slip them in my backpack and stare at him.
“Momo get on my back quick.” crouching down waiting for me to hop on. Thanks to his powers we still made it in time with a minute to spare. A few feet away from the school he lets me hop off. I grab into my bag to hand him his shoes.
“don’t wait up for me go to your class ill take to long” Okarun says as he struggles to put his shoes on. I crouch down to his level and scoop my head under for a quick kiss hopping up immediately after jumping towards the door.
“See you later!” I say looking back to see his sweet blushing face looking at mine. My head whips back around focusing on the door’s reflection of okarun still lingering his gaze on me.