Chapter Text
They looked at the figure in the mirror
At the violent and hateful creature it showed
At the horns and the spikes and everything wrong in the reflexion
At the horrifying bright pink eye with the white diamond pupil, the eye that haunted their dreams
They looked at themselves
Steven sighed, getting one last look in the mirror before picking up the bandages that were laying on the counter. They didn't NEED bandages, they weren't hurt or anything. No, the bandages were there for coverage.
They had started covering up their right eye after their corruption, specifically because of the changes that happened to it. Having it covered made them feel safer and they could tell it made literally every single gem they knew more comfortable too (Everyone hates a monster).Nobody wanted to look at the eyes of a diamond. Not even them.
Out of all the changes their corruption left them, their eye HAD to be the worst, they could handle having horns on their head, blotches of corruption as well as spikes on their arms and legs -heck, they could handle having a small tail! A lot of the gems had stuff like that from corruption too! They could deal with all of that (Liar,you know you hate them too), even if it tore up their clothes and got them weird stares (The stares were the worst part) But the diamond eye? All it brought was terror and horror to everyone around. Even when people tried to hide it, they could see the uneasiness it instantly gave off (They probably hated them), the feeling of helplessness that never seemed to end (They had every right to hate them). So, they covered it up, no one ever acknowledged it but the relief was pathetically obvious.
…
They would be more relieved if they just weren't around at all.
Tying the knot around the back of their head they gave a quick check to see that it was covered.Yep! No Diamond in sight (Good). They opened the door to the bathroom, leaving the enclosed space and closing the door behind them. They made their way to his bed, immediately face planting onto the soft cushions. It reminded them of being in lion’s mane, soft and comforting, it made them feel ever so slightly better, even if only a bit, they would accept the comfort (But do you really deserve it?).
they reached over to the nightstand at the side of the bed and picked up their phone. 570 unread messages.
…
Ok so Steven may or may not have a bad habit of completely ignoring everyone at times, and by times they meant weeks and sometimes months on end (Pathetic)
Why do people even still talk to them? they never responded, maybe that’s why some of the messages where from months ago, people checking up on them, seeing if they were ok (They were probably just worried you would lash out and hurt them, again), they ignored it all, told everyone they just needed space for a while, at least that got them to stop, that or people were just tired of trying to talk to what was basically a brick wall, (Why would anyone ever want to talk to someone like you?) and Steven gave them the perfect excuse to stop trying.
They scrolled through the list of messages, pearl asking if he had been eating well, (You haven’t, you always find a way to let people down) Garnet telling them they should take it easy,(No, you have to make yourself useful, otherwise what are you for?) Connie asking to talk, they quickly closed the message, they didn’t want to talk (You shouldn’t burden people with your problems) plus things had been tense between them for quite a while now, lately they didn’t want to talk to Connie at all, they used to talk almost daily before. There was Peridot yapping about how the Camp Pining Hearts rework was horrible, that made them laugh a little, Lapis showing off her late meep morps, they were honestly kind of impressive. The list went on a on, some people sending worried messages, others just sending random stuff that made them smile slightly
they decided to open up the most recent message, it was from Amethyst
-😈😈Amethyst 😈😈”YO STE-MAN”
-😈😈Amethyst😈😈”I herds u in town visiting”
-😈😈Amethyst 😈😈”WE SHOULD HANG :DDDD”
-😈😈Amethyst😈😈”Come on don’t leave me hangingggggggg”
-😈😈Amethyst 😈😈”like seriously dude I haven’t seen u so long I just wanna hang out with uuuuuu 🥺🥺🥺”
Hanging out with amethyst?
That
Didn’t actually seem so bad
It would actually be pretty nice to see her again to be honest
They hadn’t seen her since…
Nevermind that, they should answer
-Stephen:”Hey there ame! Yeah I'm visiting right now, we should totally hang out! Did you have something in mind?”
-😈😈Amethyst 😈”OMG U ACTUALLY RESPONDED”
-Stephen:”Yeah, jaja sorry for not answering earlier, I’ve had a lot on my mind lately ”
-😈😈Amethyst 😈😈”Dudeeeeeee it fine but don’t ghost me next time 3:< “
They internally cringed at that, they never MEANT to make amethyst sad they just…
They would have to be more careful on actually answering her next time and not mess up again
…
But that’s all they would do wouldn’t they? Mess up again and again. Because that’s all they did. All they’re good for
Stars Steven you are such a fucking disappointment, you couldn’t even bring yourself to answer you phone in months? You truly have stooped so low, you turned into a monster, hurt everyone and everything you loved and then went to homeworld, of all places, for half a year just to not have to face the truth about what you really are, and during all that you continued hurting people you care about? That’s all you do. Hurt. And then hurt more. And more . And more until there’s nothing left
You have physical proof that everything you are is just nothing but wrong. Are the horns on your head not enough of a reminder? Are the spikes on your arms not bad enough that you still hurt people? Is having a fucking tail not enough of an inconvenience that you still feel the need to do damage to everything? IS YOUR EYE-
You aren’t like her
Your worse
*Ding*
-😈😈Amethyst😈😈”ACTUALLYYYY I did have a place planned!!!!!”
Oh right, hanging out with amethyst
-Stephen:”oh?”
-Stephen:”What do you have planned?”
-😈😈Amethyst😈😈”It’s a supriseeeeeeeeeee”
-😈😈Amethyst😈😈“JEJEJEJEJEJE”
-😈😈Amethyst😈😈”Are u free tomorrow morning?”
-Stephen:”Yes I am! I’m free all day tomorrow actually”
-😈😈Amethyst😈😈”Hell ye that means i get to bother u for the whole day ”
-😈😈Amethyst😈😈”ima text u the details later :p ”
What could Amethyst have planned? they tried to think, if they were Amethyst, where would they take someone they hadn’t seen or talked to in over 6 months? Hmmmm, it was Amethyst so wherever she would take them HAD to have food, it was basically a necessity whenever amethyst was around, no, it’s not that it was basically a necessity, it WAS a necessity, ok so it had to have food, what else tho? Would it be in Beach City, would it be somewhere else completely?
Hopefully they wouldn’t have to drive much, they were staying in a hotel near Beach City so driving anywhere else would take a while.
.
Did they even want to go to Beach City yet? they hadn’t seen anyone since The Incident, and they didn’t know if they were ready to face everyone after what happened the last time they saw each other (They probably don't want to see someone as horrible as you)
Let’s think about something else because if they thought about this for longer they were going to get a headache. Maybe the mistery of where Ame was taking them should remain a mistery until tomorrow :]
They wanted some fresh air
They left the room they were staying at and made their way to the hotel’s exit, the person at the front desk waved at them but they paid them no mind, they just wanted out for a bit. Reaching the door they pushed it open and just took a long deep breath, it made their racing mind quiet, they walked around for a bit, not really a direction in mind, just somewhere where they could rest for a while
They ended up in an open field behind the hotel. It was….nice, they could feel they air on their face and they ended up just laying down on the very overgrown grass,not really caring if it had bugs or not, or if it got their clothes stained, they just wanted to lay there, seeing the blue sky, after not seeing it for long it now made them feel nice and warm inside, it reminded them of, lion’s mane, soft, comforting, safe, like getting a big and warm hug, one that didn't demand anything back
Stars, they really missed that giant pink feline, they made a mental note they would 100% forget later to visit him when they got the chance
They didn't really know how much time they spent just looking up at the sky, they could see some birds flying off to who knows were, they were pretty, they vaguely thought, they let the world pass through for a while, the birds flying to somewhere else, the people from the hotel behind talking, the sounds of the wind shaking nearby trees.They let it all pass by, no thoughts, no expectations, no corruptions scars, no diamond eye making them hate the reflexion in the mirror, no crushing self hatred that consumed every second of the day, no need to worry about what people thought about them, no looking over their shoulder worried if something else was going to try and ruin their life. Just life passing by, just the world, just peace
As the sky got darker and the sounds around them changed, they thought it might be good to get back to the hotel room by now, how long had they spent there anyway? their clothes were totally going to get stained, but they didn't really care about that right now, they could worry about that later, just like they could worry about Amethyst and Beach city later
They got back to the hotel, and they actually waved back to the person at the desk this time, good job Steven! When they got to the room they ended up just changing into their pajamas and collapsing on the bed completely exhausted.
Wait, when was the last time they got actual sleep again? Did they go to sleep on Monday? Or was it actually Sunday? Wait, what day was it again? They checked their phone, it was friday, which meant if they slept on either monday or sunday…..
Ok yeah they desperately needed to go to bed, its honestly a miracle they didn't just pass out on the grass
Ok thats enough thinking for a day, now it's time to sleep for the next 12 hours!