Chapter Text
It was just another day for Natsuki Subaru. The only noteworthy thing was that he had to leave the house to buy food, using this as an excuse to pretend he didn't hear his mother's request to do the dishes. He walked calmly to the nearest convenience store and began stocking up on typical housewarming fare like potato chips. Night had already fallen, the night sky filling the entire city, though the stars were barely visible, and deep down, he was almost grateful for that, because if he looked at the constellations, he would surely feel bad again. Feel bad for having wasted his time learning all the mythology and names behind each star instead of studying something truly important and making his parents proud. He often wondered what he was doing with his life, wasting an entire year, all because he felt it wasn't worth continuing his studies. He wasn't the smartest, nor the most athletic, nor the funniest, nor the most serious… he didn't excel at absolutely anything. What was the point of continuing if it would be impossible for him to make his parents proud?
Sometimes, he wished he were someone else, that he had the ability to change his body and mind into that of someone who actually had talent for something useful.
Subaru quickly tried to push those depressing thoughts aside by grabbing a manga on display at the convenience store and skimming a few pages. It didn't seem like anything new, just the typical isekai where the protagonist reincarnates as an all-powerful hero and has a multitude of girls by his side… it could literally be mistaken for another work and no one would have noticed how unoriginal its premise was. With a sigh that betrayed his boredom, he put the manga back in its place and started walking towards the counter to pay, but before he could, a suspicious-looking man entered the store. His entire body was covered in black clothing, including the ski mask covering his face, and in his hand was something Subaru had only ever seen in police movies: a revolver, ready to fire, a rare sight in a country with such strict gun laws as Japan.
"The money from the register, now, and don't even think about calling the police," the robber demanded, pointing the gun at the poor shopkeeper, who quickly began taking out all the money and handing it over in a bag he had placed in front of her. Subaru hid behind a bookshelf, watching as the man didn't even seem to notice him. He could only see the criminal's back; he didn't look very strong. Any police officer could probably easily overpower him. That's why he was carrying the revolver—it ensured that less experienced people would simply obey and avoid being shot.
Subaru swallowed hard as he considered his options. Perhaps if he lunged at him with all his might, he could knock him down and make his gun fall to the ground, but this wasn't a game. He would surely end up dead if the thief was ruthless enough not to lie and actually shoot anyone who tried to resist.
Why risk his life? He gained nothing from it, and yet, he felt a pang in his heart at the thought of not helping the store worker. In the end, not even he knew the reason, but he decided to help and try to stop the thief. His plan was simple but effective: push him from behind, catch him off guard, and snatch the firearm. Once he didn't have it, the man wouldn't be such a big threat anymore. It was at this moment that he was grateful for having stayed in shape by doing calisthenics exercises daily.
So, first he took off his shoes to avoid making noise and alerting him, but he had to hurry, because the thief wasn't just snatching money, but demanding that the worker hand over all her valuables, from her own pocket money to any necklaces or rings, taking advantage of the fact that night patrols in Japan would likely be slow to arrive if no one called them.
Subaru sighed and, getting ready, started running towards the thief. Surprisingly, he successfully completed the first part of his plan, because the guy hadn't seen him until now and was hit in the back…but his gun didn't fall to the ground; it remained firmly in his hand. That was very bad. "You son of a bitch, don't play the hero," the criminal said as he prepared to shoot him. Subaru had no choice but to use a less-than-honorable but truly effective move: a kick to the groin. The pain was so great that the hand holding the gun trembled. Unable to resist, Subaru wasted no time and grabbed the weapon as well, and the two began to fight over it. All of this was being exploited by the employee of the man who ran from the store started calling the police…leaving poor Subaru behind.
But Subaru had underestimated the criminal and, after a struggle in which he almost managed to wrest the gun away thanks to the pain in his groin, he ultimately failed. The man returned the kick, and it was Subaru's turn to retaliate.
Subaru hesitated; after all, he had never been in a truly serious fight, and this made him instinctively release the gun due to the pain. The man ended up shooting Subaru in the chest. After that, he grabbed the money from the bag and started running in terror, afraid the police would arrive in time to arrest him.
But running was useless. Thanks to Subaru's distraction, a patrol car was already in front of the convenience store in record time, their guns drawn, forcing the frustrated thief to surrender. But Subaru wasn't so lucky. At first, he didn't feel the pain; it took a couple of seconds to manifest. That's when he fell to the ground, blood trickling from his mouth as his last thoughts raced through his mind.
He felt pathetic. He'd tried to act like the heroes he read so much about in manga, and all he'd managed to do was get killed by a thief. He only hoped his parents wouldn't miss him too much, that they wouldn't cry seeing their disappointment of a son die at just 17, before he'd even had a chance to do anything with his life.
But before his life faded, a powerful light blinded him. Subaru simply attributed it to the myth of "the light at the end of the tunnel," unaware that this was something much more special, much more important, much more decisive.
This light made him feel for a few seconds that he no longer had a body. And so, he felt absolutely nothing during the moments the blinding flash lasted. As the glow faded, he felt his body again, without pain or anything alarming. Noise began to filter into his ears, and the first thing his eyes saw was a dirty alley.
"Huh? What happened? Is this the afterlife...? And what's wrong with my voice?!" Subaru was extremely confused. He was in a place he didn't recognize, and his voice sounded incredibly high-pitched, like a child's.
"I was dying. I was shot... And now where am I?" he said to himself, trying to ignore the high-pitchedness of his voice. He noticed that beyond the alley, several people were walking calmly, but something was wrong. The buildings beside them, the people's clothes... everything seemed a little out of place.
It was then that he lowered his head and looked in horror at what he was wearing. He was only wearing a kind of purple and black bikini and black stockings. Furthermore, her entire body was much smaller, and combined with the sharpness of her voice… his otaku mind began to connect the dots.
"No, no, no… This can't be happening!" he shouted… or was it her? As her face flushed with embarrassment, while she had cross-dressed for a time, it was very different from walking around half-naked in the street… This was extremely shameful and indecent!
And… then, something curious happened. He wished to wear his usual clothes right then and there, and his body began to transform. His bikini and stockings disappeared and were replaced by a sort of custom-made copy of the clothes he had worn before being shot in the convenience store.
An orange, white, and black tracksuit now covered his body as if it were part of his skin. Subaru's eyes lit up at the sight. "How cool!"
But his excitement vanished when his own voice echoed in his head… he didn't like it at all. It was the typical voice of the cheeky girl who pretended to be nice just to impress the teachers. He'd had to put up with a few classmates like that during middle school.
He took advantage of the fact that no one was passing by in the alley to calmly think about the situation. Finally, all his time reading isekai was starting to make more sense. "Have I been transported to another world?! And on top of that, it seems to be a really weird gender-bent isekai!" Subaru complained. Everything made sense to him. He was literally dying, and suddenly he'd appeared in the body of a strange girl in the middle of a city with architecture similar to medieval Europe.
But, although he was unhappy with his current appearance, his appearance didn't change. He remained the same because, deep down, he didn't want to go back to being Subaru. Inside, he preferred to be content with this appearance rather than return to being Subaru Natsuki, even though he would never admit it out loud. Subaru sighed heavily, trying to think positively about this new body. "At least it seems I have magical powers, or something, that's why the clothes I wanted appeared," he muttered to himself as he observed the exact replica of his sportswear now enveloping his new body.
"Alright, let's go exploring, find a cute girl who'll give me a mission to save the world!" Subaru exclaimed as he stepped out of the alley and began to look around, quickly becoming amazed.
This was a true fantasy world; one only had to see the giant reptiles being used as pack animals or some people with animal features typical of these kinds of cliché stories.
His eyes shone with wonder as he observed everything around him, generating curious glances from some passersby, whether because of his strange clothes or because he looked like a child and was completely alone, at risk of being attacked by bandits who inhabited the capital. But above all, they whispered behind his back when they noticed the two large, strange appendages on either side of his waist, and Subaru, amazed by everything, didn't even notice.
He walked calmly until he reached a river. The crystal-clear water was a novelty that Subaru had never had the pleasure of seeing in the streets of Japan's big cities, although he remembered seeing something similar in the countryside, it didn't even come close to the purity of this water. It was then that he saw his reflection. He had short, blond hair, except for a long strand adorned with a flower. His red eyes gave him a disturbing appearance that Subaru couldn't help but compare to the evil vampires in the stories he read.
And as he bent down to look at his reflection in the water, he finally noticed two large bulges behind his waist, tearing and poking holes in the pants he had made earlier. They resembled the waist of an insect and were truly strange.
"What is this?! And I've been walking around with these things behind me?!" Subaru exclaimed, touching them as if they were foreign objects. It seemed he hadn't even noticed them, and he couldn't help but wonder why. "I don't want them, I don't want them!" Subaru began repeating as he closed his eyes and tried to make them disappear from his body, just as he had replaced his clothes, taking small hops that only resulted in him falling into the river water.
"This isn't my day," said the poor reincarnated boy as he returned to the riverbank, completely soaked, but a faint smile appeared on his face when he noticed that those two gigantic lumps had disappeared.
"Well, it was worth it," said Subaru, noticing that, as they disappeared, the two holes that should have been in his pants also disappeared; it was as if these clothes weren't really clothes, but also part of his skin.
"It seems I can change my body at will… Then I can become an epic anime protagonist!" exclaimed Subaru, completely thrilled as he tried to think of an aspect… but he couldn't change anything; it was as if, even though he could refine the details, his power had remained stuck in the appearance of the blonde girl. Subaru sighed, disappointed that her appearance hadn't completely changed. She supposed that, since she was just starting out, she couldn't be too strong at first, although being reincarnated as a child still deeply embarrassed her, especially remembering the revealing appearance she had before.
In the end, after all this frenzy of emotions and new experiences, Subaru ended up sitting on the bridge that crosses the river, reflecting more calmly on the situation. He…or was she? She had died, and now she was in a fantasy world in the body of an exhibitionist child who could change her outfit just by thinking about it; the situation was certainly surreal.
She couldn't help but think of her parents…she would never see them again, and the last thing she did in front of them was remain silent to avoid washing the dishes.
The situation was difficult; she had to hold back tears while trying to remain composed. "At least…I won't disappoint them anymore," she told herself as she stood up, sighing heavily.
But before she could even think about what to do next, someone walked past her on the bridge. He might have seemed like just another passerby, nothing remarkable about him, except that he stopped dead in his tracks when he saw her, as if his mere presence was enough to paralyze anyone unfortunate enough to meet him.
"Oh, what a surprise to see you here, Mother! I was doing the little job I told you a pretentious margrave had entrusted to me," said a woman much taller than her, with black hair and black clothing that, while stylish, left a lot of skin exposed in the chest area, almost making Subaru blush. He ended up taking a step back as he slowly processed her words.
"Mother?! I'm not anyone's mother! I'm not even a woman, even if I look like one! Besides, I don't know who you are," Subaru said, still refusing to consider himself a woman, and wondering who the hell this woman was, even though he knew the original owner of the body, the fact that someone twice as tall as you called you the word “mother” is truly disturbing and unsettling.
That response seemed to take the woman by surprise, and she stared at him for what felt like an eternity, as if looking right through him, though her smile never wavered. Finally, she simply bowed slightly and began to walk away.
“In that case, I hope I have your permission to continue with my mission. I’m late for the rendezvous point,” she said with the same strange smile and that voice—too friendly, too rehearsed—and Subaru didn’t like it.
It was then that he noticed she was revealing two daggers in her hands. It seemed deliberate, as she hadn’t seen them when they passed. His legs trembled at the sight.
“Damn it, she’s carrying two knives! Is she an assassin?! I don’t want to die again!” Subaru thought, panicking internally, but trying her best to hide it… as her nervousness was more than obvious to anyone who saw her.
"I suppose you can continue with your mission, I don't mind," Subaru decided to play along, speaking while stuttering a little from nerves, and she simply seemed to silently thank her and left quickly, literally disappearing from her sight in a matter of hundredths of a second.
Once she was gone, Subaru sighed heavily as she sat back down on the bridge, but the tranquility didn't last long, as remorse began to press on her chest. She was aware that this assassin was going to "carry out a job," which obviously meant taking the life of an innocent person, and she had accepted it only out of fear.
But now there wasn't much she could do either, because she didn't know where she was going to stop her… and she had already died for playing the hero in her past life, less than 24 hours ago. "But she seemed to recognize me...or recognize the owner of this body...Does that mean I'm in the body of an assassin?!" Subaru exclaimed, perhaps too loudly. Luckily, no one was around to hear her in the peaceful sunset over the capital.
Once again, his body trembled, and his chest tightened with remorse. Finally, he spoke with a frown and determination. "No, I'm not an assassin, and that woman not only seemed to know me, but she seemed to be a superior...or something like that...Maybe I can stop her simply by ordering her to! Damn it, I have to find her!" Subaru said as he got up again and started running toward the busiest streets of the capital once more.
But this body was small, and his strides barely allowed him to run like an average child. "I'll never reach her if I ever do... I wish I had wings right now," Subaru said, and something in his body seemed to react to that genuine desire. Suddenly, a pair of black wings appeared on his back, their majestic feathers leaving everyone who saw them take to the air speechless.
"Huh?! I have wings! I'm flying! This power is amazing!" Subaru exclaimed, recalling what he had experienced before. Although he wasn't able to completely alter his appearance, he did seem capable of modifying small parts if he truly wanted to, or at least that's how he thought his power worked.
But his joy was short-lived. He had no idea how to control the wings he now possessed. Starting to fly uncontrollably, Subaru panicked, and this caused his desire for wings to vanish, along with his wings, sending him plummeting to the ground. "No, I don't want to die like this!" Subaru screamed as she plummeted from a height that would have been deadly for a normal human. Her fall was stopped when someone caught her in mid-air, carrying her gracefully as if the feat were insignificant and required no effort.
When Subaru opened her eyes, she saw that she was being held by a young man with red hair, which contrasted sharply with his sky-blue eyes. He also had the purest and most innocent smile Subaru had ever seen on someone who wasn't a small child.
"Are you alright? If my eyes weren't deceiving me, you had wings earlier and were flying over the capital... Has something happened?" Although confused by what he had just seen, the red-haired boy behaved in the most polite and chivalrous way possible. Subaru was incredibly embarrassed to be held like that, as she still clung to the idea that she was a man, and being carried in a princess-style pose by another man was extremely shameful.
"Yes, I'm fine, now let me go!" "I'm in a great hurry!" Subaru exclaimed as the young redhead obeyed his demands and set her down again. The problem was that poor Subaru was now completely disoriented, recognizing absolutely nothing around him for obvious reasons, and that would surely make him arrive too late to stop that assassin, if he even managed to find where she was headed.
"Miss... Are you lost? If so, I'd be happy to guide you to where you were headed," Reinhard offered, as chivalrous as before. Subaru was about to refuse again… but she reconsidered the situation.
"I… I was trying to find someone, but I don't even know where to look, and that's very important; a life could be at risk," Subaru said, hoping deep down that the young redhead would take her seriously. He seemed to frown slightly upon hearing this, clearly worried.
"Well, although it's my free time, I'm Reinhard van Astrea, a knight of the royal guard, so I believe I can help avert the terrible fate you're describing, miss," Reinhard said. Although Subaru felt a part of her dignity die every time she was called "miss," the knowledge that he was a knight reassured her somewhat.
“I would greatly appreciate it. I came across a suspicious woman with two daggers in her hands. She’s clearly going to do something bad, but she’s moving very fast, and I have no idea where she could have gone,” Subaru explained, causing Reinhard to frown for a few seconds, ready to help the young woman.
“In that case, we can start by heading to the slums. It’s possible to get some information about her there, especially if she’s a hitwoman,” Reinhard explained, and without wasting any more time, they began walking briskly toward the place, which wasn’t far from where they were now.
“May I ask your name, miss?” Reinhard asked as they headed there. Subaru hesitated, unsure of what to answer. The idea of revealing the alias she uses when she cross-dresses was tempting, but he refused to completely relinquish his masculinity and answered truthfully.
“Subaru Natsuki,” she replied, more focused on walking briskly through the narrow city streets. Reinhard simply nodded with a slight smile upon hearing the girl's name and efficiently led her to the slums, arriving in less than ten minutes.
Once they were in the area, they soon heard a loud noise coming from a cabin called “Loot House,” as if a fight were taking place. Night was falling; the sun was setting completely, giving way to the moon and stars.
They quickly arrived there, and Reinhard didn't hesitate, kicking the door open, which surprised Subaru a little.
Subaru surveyed the scene they had just entered. There were four figures. A huge man lay on the ground in a pool of blood, presumably dead, which immediately made him nauseous, though he barely managed to hold back his vomiting. Then there was a blonde girl with red eyes, very similar to the body he had reincarnated into. She was severely injured, with a deep cut in her abdomen. There was also a girl with silver hair and pointed ears, which usually indicates she belongs to the fantasy species of elves. She was in the best condition, perhaps because she had arrived later. She was using magic on the blonde girl, surely trying to prevent her from dying like the enormous man. Obviously, the assassin was also present, and she immediately stopped her actions, not because of Reinhard, but because of the little girl's presence beside her.
"It seems your hunch was right, Subaru," Reinhard said as he began to advance toward the black-haired woman. The two daggers she held were already stained with blood.
"Well, more guests!" "What do you want?" the assassin asked, a disturbing smile playing on her lips. Subaru's body shuddered as he realized her eyes weren't fixed on Reinhard, but on him, peering once more into his soul, as if she were hiding a deep hatred behind her obedient demeanor.
"Stop your murder immediately, or my partner Reinhard will beat you senseless!" Subaru said, staring intently at the assassin. It might have sounded like a childish threat, but he was trying to sound authoritative in case his theory that she was his superior was correct. Reinhard seemed to feel a warmth spread through his chest upon hearing that, despite having only known each other for a short time, he was no longer considered a stranger by Subaru.
The woman sighed heavily, appearing mentally exhausted, like when someone is so impertinent and exasperating that you simply choose to remain silent because you know it's pointless to say anything.
"My dear knight, if I were you, I would take care of the girl with the cut in her stomach, or I might die! Or would you rather try to stop me while I flee from here?" the assassin spoke, and without giving Reinhard a second more to think about his response, she ran off in a fraction of a second. Subaru noticed that before leaving, he looked at her a little too long; he truly hoped never to cross paths with her again.
Reinhard, as expected, chose to go to the injured young woman, carrying her in a princess-style carrying position- "Thank you so much for stabilizing her wounds with your magic, but it won't be enough. Luckily, I know a fellow knight who possesses the best healing magic in the kingdom. I'll take her there immediately".
Reinhard, focused on fulfilling his duty, took her and gave her a grateful smile, leaving without wasting any more time, as that girl's life hung by a thread.
Meanwhile, Subaru tried not to look at the corpse lying on the wooden floor, as it was truly disgusting and would surely make her vomit. Then she looked at the silver-haired girl, who was still in the same place, motionless, perhaps processing everything that had happened in such a short time.
"I saw that girl before, but I didn't act out of fear. I'm sorry if he was someone I knew," Subaru apologized, bowing slightly, which made the silver-haired girl wave her hands dismissively.
"No, he didn't…!" "He was already dead when I arrived. I was just tracking down a thief who stole a very precious badge of mine… but now I just hope she recovers, even though with all this, she hasn't recovered it," the young woman explained, somewhat dejected. Subaru looked at her closely; she was truly beautiful.
But everything was interrupted when a terrible stomach pain began to bother Subaru. It was very strange, and he already thought that perhaps it was an urgent need to use the restroom, which is why he decided to move away from the beautiful girl immediately.
"Well, I have to go, goodbye!" Subaru hurried away from the girl, even though she asked him to stop. She didn't; she was frightened by the sudden pain in her body, which didn't stop for a second as she walked away without pausing. Thus, he began to lose himself among the streets of the slums, walking without stopping until he reached an area near the wall that marks the end of the city, leaning against it as he placed one of his hands on the spot where he felt pain.
"Huh?!" Subaru began to shout, completely alarmed, as his hands pierced his stomach, as if there were a hidden compartment within his own body, and from it he pulled out a kind of very strange black book. And as soon as he pulled it out, the pain ceased; that is to say, it was the book that had been generating the sudden urgency.
The problem was that when he opened it, the writing was in a language he didn't understand, so he was left wondering why it was so important to examine its contents.
"What kind of body is this? Who the hell was the previous owner of this body?" Subaru wondered as he put the book in the pocket of his tracksuit, refusing to do something as disturbing as putting it back inside his stomach. But now she was alone again. She had run away without thinking from that girl who was perhaps her only ticket to do anything in this world, all because she panicked about making a bad impression on her. She hadn't really changed at all mentally; she was still the same Natsuki Subaru.
But her internal monologue was interrupted by the assassin from before. With a wide grin, she approached Subaru again. She had hoped never to see her again, and literally in less than an hour their paths had crossed once more.
And the worst part was that she was carrying the corpse of what appeared to be one of the wall guards, pulling at its intestines as if it were some kind of toy. This disgusted her so much that she quickly turned away and was about to vomit, but it seemed the owner of this body hadn't eaten anything, because absolutely nothing came up, although the feeling of nausea was definitely present.
“I’m so sorry to have disappointed you, Mother. In my ignorance, I thought you had given me permission to continue the mission,” the assassin said, bowing her head in submission to the woman she recognized as a leader, even if it was against her will. Subaru didn’t know what to say, so he simply remained silent for longer than he cared to admit. During this time, she said absolutely nothing, just bowed, still clutching the intestines of the poor man she had mercilessly murdered.
“Damn it, if they discover us now, they’ll definitely link me to her! What do I do? I have to get out of here! But where? I have nowhere to go in this world!” Subaru’s mind began to race nervously, knowing that the only option was to leave the city and try to act like the owner of this body in order to, at least for now, find a place to sleep. Besides the fear of what that woman might do to her if she discovered Subaru was impersonating her, the fear was already generating noticeable anxiety in her body.
"Save your excuses, now let's get out of here," Subaru finally said, doing his best to sound like the leader of a criminal group, but his voice trembled, a lot, something that surely betrayed her, because the murderer stared at him intently.
After that, Subaru, driven by his desire to leave the city to avoid being unjustly accused of murder, summoned wings once more from his back, allowing him to take flight. He easily passed over the wall, and since the assassin seemed to have eliminated the guards in that area, no one saw her.
Speaking of the assassin, she too left easily, moving with supernatural agility, leaping over the wall effortlessly.
This time she landed, albeit somewhat roughly, but without injury. As soon as she touched down, her wings vanished, for the desire to possess her had disappeared.
"Mother?!" A shriek as sharp as the voice of the body she now possessed startled her. She turned to find a small girl with green eyes and blue hair wrapped in a braid, adorned with a flower. In her hands, she held a rather unattractive puppy. Once again, she seemed to recognize her and call her "mother," which made her very uncomfortable, so much so that she no longer cared about being called that instead of a male name.
"Yes! Mother paid me a visit in the capital and canceled the mission. We're leaving now," the older assassin said, approaching with that smile that made Subaru so uneasy.
Subaru swallowed hard at the sight of them. She was mingling with dangerous people... but what other choice did she have? They would surely kill her now if they found out she wasn't who they thought she was.
"I'll explain my reasons when we get back. You go ahead; I'll stay behind. I need to think about what to do with you two," Subaru replied, imitating the typical mafia bosses he'd seen on television, hoping it would be convincing. They looked into each other's eyes; the younger one was worse at hiding her emotions and seemed extremely confused, but they quickly obeyed, starting to walk while Subaru followed behind. Thus began the life of a young man reincarnated in the body of one of the cruelest beings in that world, and he would have to live with this and avoid changing in the process.