Work Text:
| you, me & our story |
Wei Wuxian's breathing is loud in the stillness of Jingshi. Loud in a way that spells wrongness.
He bunches up the fabric of wedding robes under his fingers, the gauzy veil making it hard for him to see anything but his shaky fingers.
How much more does he have to wait? Can't they get on with it already? Wei Wuxian feels faint. This silence invariably makes him feel.
How he should have hugged Shijie tighter, and wished her luck; how he should have made Jiang Cheng scowl one more time because surely that scowl would have been better than sadness.
The door to Jingshi opens. Wei Wuxian holds his breath.
Light, unhurried footsteps approach the bed Wei Wuxian is perched on. The bed dips; there is warmth near Wei Wuxian now. Human warmth. The warmth of his husband.
Wei Wuxian's hands clench even more. He takes a fortifying breath.
You can do this, Wei Wuxian.
“May I remove the veil?" A soft voice asks.
Shocked at the request, his fingers set the poor fabric free. It takes him a minute to reply. The man waits patiently.
Swallowing, Wei Wuxian answers, "You may.”
The touch is careful, cautious as though handling something delicate. The veil lifts slowly, and suddenly—
Wei Wuxian is face to face with the most beautiful man to ever grace this earth.
After settling the veil above his head, elegant hands fold themselves on his lap.
Nature must have loved this man to adorn him its wonders. The summer sun in his eyes. The rose blush faint on his cheekbones. Skin so fair even snow would shy away.
Butterfly wings in those fluttering lashes.
Wei Wuxian stares, the pounding in his ears dulling as he takes in the beauty before him. Lan Wangji averts his eyes, the blush deepening.
Lan Wangji looks up and opens his mouth, then bites his lips and closes it again.
Wei Wuxian is enraptured. What is Lan Wangji trying to say? Madam Yu told Wei Wuxian to behave so it's not like he can joke to lighten the mood.
“Were you coerced into this marriage?" Lan Wangji asks and the faint crease between his brows betrays his unease.
Wei Wuxian's lips curl into a mocking smile. How is Lan Wangji this naïve, despite being older by six years?
"What does it matter, Lan-er-gongzi?”
"You must tell me, then.” Lan Wangji's face is troubled. "I will help you escape and make sure no one gives chase.”
Wei Wuxian's eyebrows reach to meet his hair and his mouth gapes open. No one has managed to disarm Wei Wuxian so thoroughly.
Is this man real? Or is this a trick, to check his loyalties?
Lan Wangji awaits an answer. So Wei Wuxian shrugs, careless.
“What will happen to you if I leave? Won't you be lying? Doesn't that go against your Clans teaching?"
Lan Wangji looks down but not before he catches a glimpse of sadness in those eyes.
"No one should be trapped in a marriage they shouldn't choose."
“Choice!?" Wei Wuxian tuts. “Lan Wangji, do people like us really have a choice!?"
"People like us?” Lan Wangji asks, confused.
"I mean male carriers.” Wei Wuxian clarifies. "Aren't we breeding stock? For the gentry to sell us to the highest bidder. No care for what he wants. No choice of your own.” At the end of this he is sneering.
He didn't know he was so angry. Lan Wangji looks genuinely horrified. Like he really didn't know.
The joys of being a privileged Sect Heir.
"I can help you escape now, and I won't betray you.” His voice is so earnest it hurts.
Wei Wuxian suddenly feels weary. He closes his eyes.
"Tell me about the consequences you will face.”
"I am the Sect Heir. They wouldn't harm me. At most, I will be ridiculed as the husband who couldn't control his spouse.”
"And you're willing to bear it for me?” Why is his voice so small?
"For your freedom, yes.” Lan Wangji breathes.
Wei Wuxian shakes his head.
"I do not wish to escape this marriage.” Wei Wuxian confesses. Because I know Yu Ziyuan wouldn't let me live after tarnishing her name.
"Why?” Lan Wangji questions.
"Because it's you.” It is good to flatter him. Wei Wuxian had given into his emotions. He must temper them. Must make sure Lan Wangji stays tolerant of him.
At first Lan Wangji doesn't hear his reply, shaking his head but when it finally registers, he looks up at Wei Wuxian with big eyes, surprised.
As though no one has told him they've stayed because of him.
Lan Wangji exhales.
He then asks, "How would you like your accommodation to be arranged?
This is another surprise. No one prepared Wei Wuxian for Lan Wangji and his sincere eyes.
When Wei Wuxian fails to come up with a reply, Lan Wangji explains, "The Jingshi is made of four rooms, two are my study and this bedroom. If you wish, this bedroom and another room can be yours.”
Wei Wuxian is dumbfounded. Again.
He expected a man who would pounce on him and be done with him, who would trap him within this frigid cage that is Cloud Recesses but—
“It is no burden to share this room with you." Wei Wuxian is sure this is some trick. To check if the spouse is compliant or otherwise.
“Oh." Lan Wangji replies eloquently. And almost as if the words pain him, Lan Wangji says, a little breathlessly, "If I haven't made it clear, then I have no desire to bed you without your explicit consent.”
"And if I give it?” Wei Wuxian raises a brow.
"Ah, give what?”
"My explicit consent.” He enunciates, mimicking Lan Wangji a little.
Lan Wangji blushes again and this time, he gets to see those crimson ears.
Without his permission, his heart cooes.
“Then, at first, I would like to court you." He says this so unashamedly, in a matter of fact tone.
“You aren't real." Wei Wuxian blurts out.
Lan Wangji tilts his head, curious. No one has looked at Wei Wuxian like that.
He cannot look at him any longer. He averts his eyes and mock yawns, stretching his arms. When he cracks an eye open, he sees Lan Wangji getting up from the bed.
"You can sleep on the bed, Wei Wuxian.”
This is the first time he has said Wei Wuxian and his voice is, wow, just wow. No notes.
How would he sound when he says…
"Call me Wei Ying.” He says.
"Then you must call me Lan Zhan.”
Lan Wangji says this and turns to go back to the privacy scene.
"Lan Zhan." He whispers and looks up to see Lan Wangji stumble a little before he rights himself and drags the privacy scene.
Only then, Wei Wuxian acknowledges the hairpins digging into his skull, the heavy marital robes.
Wei Wuxian drags himself to a dressing table and begins to pluck out the hairpins, hissing at the pain.
From the mirror, he sees Lan Zhan approaching him. Like this, dressed in his sleeping robes, black locks left free, he looks somehow even more ethereal.
"May I?” He asks, gesturing to the hairpins. Hands falling to his side, Wei Wuxian shrugs.
Lan Zhan begins to gently pluck out the hairpins, the motions gentle and repetitive, causing his head to loll back. A hand on the back of his head steadies and wakes him.
"Done.” Lan Zhan declares and steps back.
"Thank you.” Wei Wuxian gives him a small, guarded smile.
"There are red and black robes for you to wear.” Lan Zhan points behind the privacy scene.
"What?” Wei Wuxian asks. "But doesn't Gusu Lan wear white?”
"You aren't obligated to—”
"Lan Zhan, do you want me to stand out?” Wei Wuxian is… he doesn't know. He doesn't want to make things difficult for himself and his husband is hell bent on doing the opposite.
He cannot give Lan Qiren — and Yu Ziyuan — a chance to fault him.
Lan Zhan hangs his head low.
"I will wear soft blue robes. The robes of your sect. Madam Yu has them tailor made for me, so you don't need to worry.” Wei Wuxian says.
“Forgive me for the presumption." Lan Wangji whispers.
“Lan Zhan." Wei Wuxian calls out. He looks up, although his gaze is stuttered now. “Thank you but I do not need you to think I'm helpless. I am perfectly capable of making my own choices."
“Mn." Lan Zhan intones, then he softly whispers a good night and lays down on the farthest part of the bed.
Wei Wuxian too chooses to sleep where there is maximum distance between them.
Lan Zhan is such a dangerous man.
Not in the way he expected. But in a way that is almost worse.
~•~•~
Wei Wuxian wakes up to this husband meditating.
He is still half-asleep and Lan Zhan looks like someone who escaped a painter’s dream.
His eyes are closed, his face is lax. Like this, with sunlight scattering across Jingshi and caressing Lan Zhan lovingly, it is not exaggeration to say that Lan Zhan is a god in disguise.
Perhaps feeling Wei Wuxian's eyes on him, Lan Zhan opens his own. His throat bobs. Wei Wuxian's eyes keenly track everything.
“Good morning Wei Ying."
Oh to wake up to such voice everyday!
“Good morning Lan Zhan." His voice is nothing like Lan Zhan’s! Does Lan Zhan find his voice—
Wait, why does Wei Wuxian care, all of a sudden? No. He cannot care.
“Breakfast will be served in an incense stick’s time. You will have to prepare to break your fast in Hanshi."
In the Sect Leader's quarters. With Lan Qiren. Wei Wuxian silently weeps.
He gets up and grooms himself, donning baby blue robes that make his eyes sting. For so long he had worn his mother's colors— red and black. Now he will have to wear his husband's.
Lan Zhan, as always, looks extremely dashing. The sash of his robes emphasizes his ridiculous waist and Wei Wuxian looks away.
They walk through the misted paths. Wei Wuxian is unused to the silence of Cloud Recesses, where running is forbidden, loud noises are frowned upon and emotions are excessive.
How will Wei Wuxian survive here?
He looks at Lan Zhan and wonders how such a sombre place produced him. Wonders still if the last night was a fluke, to lower his defenses.
In no time, Lan Zhan knocks the door of Hanshi and they are permitted inside.
Both Lan Zhan and Wei Wuxian bow in respect to Lan Xichen and Lan Qiren.
Wei Wuxian, as the youngest, serves them tea and they begin to eat in silence.
Back at hom—
Back at Lotus Pier, these dining tables would be filled with praises Jiang Cheng and Wei Wuxian would shower Shijie with. Would be filled with Shijie's twinkling laughter and his own raucous ones.
It is so quiet it makes him a little crazy.
When breakfast is over, Lan Xichen smiles ar him and begins, “Lan-er—"
From the corner of his eyes, he sees Lan Zhan shaking his head. Lan Xichen seems to catch it too because he falls silent, then begins anew, "Wei-gongzi, Yu-furen informed us that you specialized in talismans and arrays.”
Yu Ziyuan told him? Wei Wuxian thinks, shocked. She, who used to mock me for my little tricks!?
“We have our own talisman master, Lan Xiao and his assistant moved to Caiyi Town a week ago. If you are interested, you can apply to Lan Xiao. I am sure he will be thrilled to have you."
Wei Wuxian doesn't know how to process this. He won't be an ornamental spouse. He will have—
He subtly checks Lan Zhan's face, to see how he feels about all of this, but the man is calmly sipping his tea.
“If Lan Zhan is amenable," Wei Wuxian chooses his words carefully. The Lan Clan is going through so much trouble. He cannot let his excitement get the better of him, “then I would be honored to expand my study under the tutelage of a Lan Master."
“Why would Wangji not be?" Lan Xichen asks, looking between his brother and Wei Wuxian, “He was the one who approached Yu-furen and asked about your interests so that you may make yourself useful here."
At the end of this, Lan Wangji is frowning at his brother, but he doesn't say anything.
“Okay Zewu-jun. Thank you so much."
Once they are on their way back to Jingshi, Lan Zhan abruptly pauses in his steps causing Wei Wuxian to stop and look at him.
"What happened Lan Zhan?”
"I did not—” Now he's going to tell Wei Wuxian to reject Lan Xichen's offer "—tell about the talisman so that you may make yourself useful.”
"Ah?” Wei Wuxian wants to scratch his head. They have begun to walk again. "Then why?”
"It is only that you should be able to enjoy your stay.”
"Ah!” He mutters, perhaps discourtesly, “As if this place could ever be enjoyable."
Lan Zhan catches it, for he stiffens and begins to walk a bit faster. Wei Wuxian immediately feels chastised. What will be the retribution now that he has inevitably pissed Lan Zhan? Will it be kneeling, copying rules, whips? Or something else.
Give me a reaction, Lan Zhan. He thinks despairingly. Show me your limit.
~•~•~
Lan Xiao looks younger than he is, with a handsomeness that is given as a Lan. He has laughing lines running across his face and clever, fox eyes.
"State your previous inventions, Wei-gongzi.” He asks after the introductions.
Wei Wuxian begins to rattle off, “For catching fishes, alerting if a water ghoul comes close to Piers, arrays to trap pheasants and kill them without prolonging their pain…"
Wei Wuxian doesn't mention about the ward-breaching talismans or the soul summoning arrays. He doesn't trust Lan Xiao yet.
With each invention of his, Lan Xiao seems to be more amused.
“So the perfect Lan disciple married a chaos incarnate huh?" Not giving time to process that, he continues, “Wei-gongzi, you have an incredible brain. And I would be elated to have you assist me.”
Wei Wuxian is also thrilled.
He bows to Lan Xiao, who returns it, much to his surprise, and says, "The elation is mine, shifu.”
"Come on then, let me show you the Cloud Recesses. From what I have seen, you develop inventions based on location. Let us see what you will see.”
~•~•~
For the past shi, Wei Wuxian has felt himself transformed. Lan Xiao is an incredible man, with witty retorts and a sharp eye for detail. His blunt remarks also serve him well.
His eyes take in everything until—
His feet abruptly plant themselves to the ground.
Because he just spotted Lan Zhan! Lan Zhan with children!
He is instructing junior most disciples — five year old boys and girls — but they are more interested in capturing his attention.
A girl dashes past everyone with a dandelion in hand and attaches herself to Lan Zhan. He gently detangles her from him and crouches down to her level.
He expertly braids her hair, not touching her forehead ribbon. She thrusts the dandelion in his hands. He accepts it at once.
“Hanguang-jun," Her lower lip wobbles, “did you get married?"
“Mn." Lan Zhan replies.
Immediately, she bursts into tears.
"My mama said I had to be a good girl,” she hiccups "and she would arrange our marriage.”
Lan Zhan's lips are parted, eyes blinking rapidly.
"A-Hua.” He pats her head. "Please don't cry. It makes me sad.”
She stops at once. Wow husband dear, you are very manipulative.
"Do not worry. When you grow up, you will surely find someone better.”
She stubbornly shakes her head and proclaims, "there is no one better than Hanguang-jun!”
Lan Zhan's lips quirk into a teeny smile — and Wei Wuxian's heart flutters — and he stands up, patting the girl's head one last time, “A-Hua, now will you please concentrate?"
The girl nods and picks up her wooden sword. She gets in the position.
As Lan Zhan's gaze travels from one disciple to another, he accidentally meets Wei Wuxian's eyes.
Across the field, the two of them stare at each, twin roses in bloom.
Until Lan Xiao has had enough and coughs, immediately breaking the trance.
Wei Wuxian sends him a stink eye then schools himself almost immediately.
When he looks back, Lan Zhan is instructing another boy in a gentle tone, the dandelion in hand.
Wei Wuxian doesn't know whether he wants to give Lan Zhan the dandelion or simply be that dandelion.
~•~•~
Later that night, after they have finished dinner, Wei Wuxian bows to Lan Wangji and says truthfully, “Lan Zhan, thank you so much. And earlier,” he rubs the back of his neck “I am sorry if I hurt you."
Lan Zhan's eyes soften.
“Wei Ying, it is my duty to make you comfortable.” Why does this statement not satisfy him? Lan Zhan continues. "No need for thanks or sorrys. And yes, this is a new place. It is natural to miss your home."
Maybe Lan Zhan was really born like this. A little too good for this world.
“Lan Zhan, you have done so much for me. And even I am just barging into your home, making it hard for you. Just tell me when it becomes too much."
“What becomes too much?"
“Caring for me." Maybe it's preposterous to think that Lan Zhan cares for him.
“Shouldn't spo—" Lan Zhan cuts himself off. “I am only doing what any decent man would have."
“No Lan Zhan." Wei Wuxian shakes his head. “You do not know how much you undersell yourself. I am really thankful to have you."
Again, Lan Zhan is surprised at his words.
"As am I." Lan Zhan says, even if Wei Wuxian hasn't done anything for him. At all.
~•~•~
The next week passes in a blur of blue.
Shijie's letter arrives and Wei Wuxian unceremoniously snatches it from the postman.
At night, Wei Wuxian stays awake and reads the letter, imagining Jiang Yanli's soft voice speaking to him.
A-Xian.
Lotus Pier is quiet without its residential troublemaker. The lotuses weep when I tell them of your marriage. Your marriage to the second most handsome man in the jianghu.
Also the most aloof.
Is he treating you well? Have you been happy? How is Cloud Recesses? I have sent you some pepper to mix in your dishes.
Also, my betrothal to A-Xuan is finally moving forward. Any day now, you will receive my wedding invitation. I hope I will see you, although you surely made a prettier bride.
In anticipation of our next meeting
Your Shijie
Underneath it is another one. He smiles when he sees the familiar flourish of Jiang Cheng’s writing.
Wei Wuxian
How are you? Cloud Recesses must be so boring, right. They say Lan Wangji is very cold. He must also be very boring, right?
Is he treating you alright? If he troubles you, tell him your shidi is famous for breaking legs. Then you can run away.
Even jie is getting married! What am I supposed to do here? Peel loquats?
Reply soon. Don't make me wait.
Your shidi
Wei Wuxian unwraps the package consisting of peppers and twin lotuses — one blue and one pink. A marital gift for the longevity of the married paid. And also for successful progeny.
As he places the lotuses near the dandelion, an uneasy feeling overtakes him.
Madam Yu married him to get rid of him. The Lan Clan accepted him because of his reproductive value but if Lan Wangji won't fuck him, where would that leave Wei Wuxian?
In the gutters.
Again.
~•~•~
A few days later, at breakfast, Lan Zhan speaks up, “I am taking junior disciples for a low level haunting. Would you like to accompany us?”
Wei Wuxian beams at that. "Sure thing.”
When he looks up again, Lan Zhan wears an expression that can only be called smug.
The Lan juniors are competent and instructing them was wonderful. There were only three malicious ghosts and the disciples were able to get rid of them. Although it did take time.
Lan Zhan orders them to head for the nearest inn, politely rejecting the farmer's fees or the innkeeper’s discount.
He truly lives up to his name. Hanguang-jun. The light of this dark, rotten world.
Unable to help himself, he orders alcohol. The waiter looks at Lan Zhan nervously who is calmly eating — even Wei Wuxian does.
When he looks up and the waiter is still there, Lan Zhan looks confused.
“Is something the matter?" He asks both the waiter and Wei Wuxian.
“He ordered alcohol, Hanguang-jun."
“So?" Lan Zhan asks.
The waiter, flustered, exits from their vicinity and drops a bottle of alcohol that has Wei Wuxian grinning from ear to ear.
How he has missed his girl.
It is only when he's climbing up the stairs, Lan Zhan quite ahead of him that he catches it:
"...the pristine Hanguang-jun letting his wife drink alcohol…”
"...when he silently condemns everyone else…"
Wei Wuxian whirls around, throwing a menacing look, hand on his sword hilt. The wife comment rattles him. Their blatant disrespect towards Lan Zhan even more so.
There is pin-drop silence when Wei Wuxian makes his way to their room, whistling a jaunty tune.
~•~•~
A-Xian,
I am glad to know that your husband is treating you well. I can hear affection in your tone.
You spent two pages describing him. Should I be jealous that your favourite person has clearly changed?
Next month, A-Xuan and I are going to be wed. An official invite should reach the Lans.
I hope you can come two days before the wedding procession and I won't hold it against you if your husband doesn't allow it.
Wei Wuxian looks at Lan Zhan writing a night hunt report, posture perfect and brush steady.
He hesitates. Should he…?
He can try at least. For Shijie.
“Lan Zhan?" He calls out softly, not wishing to disturb him.
Lan Zhan makes an inquiring sound, immediately looking up.
"My Shijie and peacock are getting married.”
Lan Zhan blinks for a moment. "A peacock?” He parrots.
Oh right. Lan Zhan wouldn't know.
"Peacock is what I call Jin Zixuan.”
"You have given him a nickname?” Wait, eh, is Lan Zhan frowning?
"It's not a nickname, Lan Zhan!” He says, voice pitched high. "He acts all so high and mighty and his chest is always puffed up. Like a prideful peacock.”
"Oh.” Lan Wangji breathes, like this is very good news.
“So they are getting married and Shijie wants me to come earlier and it's completely okay if I cannot but I would like to go a few days before the official wedding procession."
“You want to meet her before her wedding?" Lan Wangji questions.
Wei Wuxian nods.
“Okay." Then he gets up and walks to a drawer. From there, he takes a jade token, similar to the one tied on his sash.
He sits in front of Wei Wuxian, and gives him the jade token, "Next time you wish to go somewhere, only inform me. No need for permission.”
Wei Wuxian accepts it with eager hands, flashing Lan Zhan a grin.
"So I can go?”
"Yes, Wei Ying.”
Only later, while he is lying in bed does he realize he never asked Lan Zhan if he wanted to come.
And Lan Zhan never asked himself.
Perhaps even he is happy to get rid of Wei Wuxian too, for a few days, despite Wei Wuxian's best efforts to be a tolerant company.
~•~•~
Lotus Pier embraces him like a mother would embrace her war-worn son.
He leaps down from his sword and falls into Shijie's warm arms. Her laughter feels like a balm to his soul. He then moves to tackle Jiang Cheng who lets him hug for five seconds (what a progress!) before grumpily shoving him away.
"A-Xian, where is your husband?” Although her voice is teasing, her eyes hold concern.
Meanwhile Jiang Cheng hisses, "What, he's too high and mighty to come with you?”
Wei Wuxian grins sheepishly and says, "I didn't ask him. Also,” he turns to Jiang Cheng, "be respectful of Lan Zhan.”
"Oh~” Shijie's voice changes completely and Wei Wuxian groans, dreading the next thing which will come out of Jiang Yanli's mouth, which is predictably, "Ah, look how protective our A-Xian already is!”
She then wiggles her brows, "He seems to have wrapped you around his pinky, brother.”
"As if.” Wei Wuxian scoffs, catching up to Jiang Cheng who had turned his nose from their conversation and throws an arm around him.
"Chengcheng, you know it's okay to say you missed me.” He teases.
Jiang Cheng lightly shoves him.
"Why would I miss an idiot?” He asks haughtily.
Ah, how Wei Wuxian has missed them.
Wei Wuxian finds himself drawing a portrait of Lan Zhan, brush in hand, a peony tucked behind his ear.
It had started innocently enough. A rough sketch of eyes, then eyelashes, the perfect slope of that nose, down to those lips that were so distracting, to that long, elegant line of his throat, to the dip of his collarbones, always concealed under that high collar, but his inner robes sometimes slipped and Wei Wuxian snuck guilty glances.
His hands led him, painting a likeness of Lan Zhan and curving his lips into the subtlest smile known to humanity.
The picture couldn't compare to the real deal.
Yet Wei Wuxian put the picture into his qiankun pouch and took it out to gaze at the oddest hours.
Even Wei Wuxian's memory can't compare.
He spots him among the Lan delegation, standing out in his beauty, in blue robes and that goddamn sash making Wei Wuxian feel weird things.
He makes his way to them, surprised to see Sect Leader Lan, but bows accordingly and makes his way to Lan Zhan.
“Hello Lan Zhan." Why does his voice sound like that?
“Hello Wei Ying." And there it is, the softening around the corner of his eyes. Wei Wuxian walks alongside them, as Sect Leader Lan and Jiang bow and talk amongst themselves.
Wei Wuxian leads the Lan delegation to the guest quarters assigned to them. Since Lan Zhan and he are walking ahead, he asks, “Lan Zhan, will you stay in my room?"
"Mn.” Not even a word, and why—? Wei Wuxian internally groans.
After taking them to their rooms, Wei Wuxian shows Lan Zhan Lotus Pier and then, quite nervously, opens the door of his room.
It is good that he had had the foresight to clean it beforehand.
Lan Zhan's looks around curiously, until his eyes land on silly wood carving on the headboard of the bed— it's two rabbits kissing.
Despite mentally preparing himself, Wei Wuxian flushes.
"Lan Zhan, what would you like water, tea, or alcohol?” The last part is said teasingly.
Lan Zhan catches onto it and gives him an unimpressed look.
"Water.” He says blandly.
A laugh bubbles out of him and when he hands him the glass, there is an almost pleased look in Lan Zhan's eyes.
Shijie laughs in her wedding, radiant in red, and Wei Wuxian dabs the corner of his eyes with Lan Zhan's quietly passed handkerchief.
She hugs both Jiang Cheng and Wei Wuxian, kissing their foreheads and they all have a little breakdown.
That night, Lotus Pier parts with her princess and Wei Wuxian cries once more, dampening his husband's pretty robes.
Since the Lan and Jiang Sect Leaders have some joint ventures to explore, the Lan delegation remains in Lotus Pier as other guests fly out.
Wei Wuxian is elated, thrilled that gets to show Lotus Pier to Lan Zhan.
He wakes up early in his excitement, earlier that Lan Zhan too, and he has the pleasure of admiring his husband for a few seconds.
“Lan Zhan!" Wei Wuxian calls him after Lan Zhan has freshened up.
“Mn?’
"I want to show you Lotus Pier…” then adds, almost embarrassingly shy, "...will you go on a date with me?”
He doesn't know why he blurted it out but it's worth to see the tip of Lan Zhan's nose getting red.
Why does this man blush so much? And if he has to blush, why does he have to do it so prettily?
"Come on then.” He dares to creep closer and take Lan Zhan's hands, intertwining them with his. Although the fingers are slender and pale, they are large and calloused. And fit perfectly between his own.
The blush spreads and deepens as the hands tighten around his own. Wei Wuxian doesn't dig deep into the way butterflies swarm his insides, just tugs Lan Zhan with him, red ribbon fluttering in the air.
Wei Wuxian shuffles closer to Lan Zhan, disliking the way some ladies are pointing at him and giggling amongst themselves.
Lan Zhan, though, is completely unbothered, looking around, drinking in almost everything with an awed expression.
Wei Wuxian is glad, glad that his home put such an expression on Lan Zhan's face.
He sees a candy vendor and drags Lan Zhan.
“Two sticks, mister." He swats Lan Zhan's money pouch away and intones, “This is my treat."
Lan Zhan takes his own with resigned amusement and they walk around. Wei Wuxian points to the vendors he knows. Sometimes, they stop and an auntie will sigh and say young love; whatever that means.
Sometimes, Wei Wuxian will stare at Lan Zhan's lips, red and glassy, and frown, because if he can see that, everyone else can too.
Neither can he lift his sleeve to wipe it from the corner of his mouth.
Wait. Where did that thought come from? No. No. Wei Wuxian wouldn't do that. It's something wives do—
From the corner of his eyes, he sees Lan Zhan looking at something with a sort of longing. Wei Wuxian's brows furrow, examining the stalls to see what could have caught Lan Zhan's attention.
But he comes up blank.
Lan Zhan knows he likes Shijie, talismans and arrays, bold colors, spicy food and alcohol.
What does he know about Lan Zhan?
As a conclusion to their trip, Wei Wuxian takes them to boat.
He doesn't let Lan Zhan take the oars.
“You just sit there and look pretty." He even winks for a good measure.
Only when he rows the boat do the words come back, making him flush.
Wei Wuxian, you cheeky, audacious bastard. He thinks to himself.
There are lotuses in bloom around them, the air rich with their fragrance.
Wei Wuxian watches Lan Zhan watch it all, chin in hand. And sighs.
He spots young lotus pods and picks one up. He cracks it open and tastes one. It's very sweet.
He gives them to Lan Zhan who eats them one by one, in contrast to him, who eats all of them at once, the sweetness bursting inside him.
"It's good, isn't it?” He asks, licking his lips.
Lan Zhan's eyes drop down to his lips, which he quickly brings up to murmur a yes.
But now, Wei Wuxian has been successful in his mission.
Lan Zhan at least finds him attractive. Wei Wuxian inches closer, but a hand to his chest stops him.
Lan Zhan's hand drops and he averts his gaze.
"Why did you do this?” He asks, voice oddly vulnerable.
"What?” Wei Wuxian asks, scared. He has been found out.
"Taking me out. It's almost as if…you are wanting us to be closer.”
Stung, he replies, "You do not want us to be?”
Lan Zhan shakes his head vehemently, "Closer as in physically intimate.”
Wei Wuxian's lips part. He wants to shout and deny, but it's true. He wanted to show Lan Zhan that he enjoys his company and wouldn't mind doing it. But apparently, that is a failure.
"Is there something wrong with that?” He asks.
“No." Lan Zhan's head drops down and he realises that Lan Zhan is fiddling!
“But I do not think you want to be intimate with me…because of me." He admits.
“What does it matter?" Wei Wuxian says, voice and temper raising. “What does it matter if you love me or I love you? It doesn't matter because it doesn't guarantee my place in your life!"
Breathing heavily, he continues, “If I do not give you five or ten children, then they would think I am a defective thing! They will toss me out! Yu Ziyuan would rather kill me than have me disgrace her."
Finally. It's out. It's cathartic.
When he calms down, he notices Lan Zhan's eyes have become glassy. He ducks down but a droplet lands on his robes. Wei Wuxian's head hurts.
But when Lan Zhan looks up, his eyes have become hard, almost harsh. He has never seen him like this.
“If someone wishes to remove you from my life, they would have to go through me, first."
“Why bother?" Wei Wuxian asks simply. “Let's just have some kids. Then, if you're so repulsed by me, we can live in separate quarters."
“Do you think you would hate your children?" Lan Zhan asks instead. Wei Wuxian, thrown off by the turn in their conversation, can only blink.
“Let me tell you a story." Wei Wuxian stares helplessly at Lan Zhan, wondering where this is going. “My father fell in love with a woman. She was a free spirit. But he wanted her and she murdered his teacher. I do not know the reason, but he imprisoned her in the name of saving her." He takes a deep breath and continues the grim tale.
“Gave her two children she never wanted in the name of loving her. When she learned she was pregnant again, she committed suicide. On her note was written, I cannot pretend to love them anymore."
How can Lan Zhan narrate the story of his life in such a detached voice yet tear up when Wei Wuxian shouted his problem.
"Your point here is?” Wei Wuxian asks curtly.
"It is that I do not want to force you to a choice you think you have to make.” When Wei Wuxian opens his mouth, Lan Zhan takes both of his hands and says almost desperately, “Just because you can give birth doesn't meant you have to."
“Stop patronizing me." Wei Wuxian cannot bear to even look at Lan Zhan now. He withdraws his hands.
“Do you ever wonder what will happen to you—"
“I do not care." Lan Zhan shakes his head.
“Why did you marry me, then?" Wei Wuxian yells, frustrated. “You should have stayed celibate. Your Sect even approves of that. At least any husband would have been better than you!"
Too late does he realise what he has said. He quiets down, just as the pounding in his heart increases.
"You can say that I am sterile.” Lan Zhan speaks up. "I will take all the blame. I only wish you live a happy life of your own choosing and,” he pauses. "if I…the offer to leave this marriage is always standing."
With that, he gets up, unsheathes his sword and flies away, leaving Wei Wuxian in his pool of regrets.
============
Any husband would have been better than you.
Any husband…
His eyes sting, the wind carrying droplets of his tears. Underneath him, his sword trembles slightly, sensing his turbulent mood.
…would have been…
He lands almost blindly into a forget, finds a tree and curls up against it.
…better than you…
Is it true? He wonders, head buried in his hands. Is it true, mother? Did I fail you? Him? My childhood self who thought, if he would ever fall in love, he would be the best lover.
And I fell in love while he was terrified by me. I am just like he said, a useless, dumb thing. I couldn't even make my husband feel safe with me.
What should he do? He thinks. He tried so much in so many ways. He listed all the things his mother didn't have access to and vowed his spouse wouldn't be ever bereft.
Any husband would have been better than you.
He shuts his eyes, curling onto himself. Please don't. Please don't say that. Please say you don't mean that. That it was a slip of tongue.
People say all the bad things like that. Say you also said it like that. That you didn't mean it. Please. I will believe you.
And what about all the times you thanked me, smiled at me… were they all not genuine? Did you not mean them?
Were they only means to an end?
A way to win your powerful husband's favor, so that he may not beat you?
Lan Zhan feels sick at the thought. Sick at himself.
============
Wei Wuxian returns to the Cloud Recesses alone, after waiting for Lan Wangji for a day.
For three days, he hasn't seen Lan Wangji.
Until he wanders far from the settlement area, into the back forest, and sees Lan Wangji crouched down, feeding rabbits, scratching the fur on the underside of their necks. On his other side is another man, one Wei Wuxian hasn't ever met before. And that strange man is not of Gusu Lan, for he wears indigo robes.
The rabbits are not that fond of that indigo man, seeing as they all mostly surround Lan Wangji. Wei Wuxian thinks rabbits have excellent taste.
Immediately, he tucks himself behind a sturdy tree, trying to see, no, actually, hear if they're conversing.
Disappointingly, they are not.
Who is this man!?
After a while, Lan Wangji questions, “What are you doing here?"
“How rude, Zhan-er." That man — how dare he!? Mannerless fiend.
“I noticed your bad mood and followed you. Now that I have finally annoyed you enough, tell me did that husband of yours—"
“Don't talk about him like that." Lan Zhan glares at that man. The man raises his hands in surrender.
“Fine. Respectfully, what has caused you to be in such a dour mood?" He asks, his voice soft.
“It's nothing." He shakes his head. “You can go back."
“Lan Wangji, where do you think your stubbornness comes from?" The man asks. “Answer me or I'll stick to you like a pest."
He's married! Wei Wuxian wants to shout. If anyone's allowed to stick to him, it's me! Back off!
Lan Zhan's shoulder slump. “Did you know that I wanted to meet him before the wedding? To gauge whether he would be amenable. Since no one allowed me, I snuck in, and do you know what I found?”
"What?” He asks. Wei Wuxian holds his breath.
"I found him crying in his sister's arms.”
Wei Wuxian remembers. He had been inconsolable. Marriage had been nothing short of a death sentence; still is, in some ways.
“I wanted to cancel the marriage," Wei Wuxian’s breath stills. “But Xiongzhang convinced me that I would do a better job than anyone else."
Since the man doesn't say anything, Lan Zhan tosses him a smile full of bitterness, “I think Xiongzhang thought too highly of me."
"Zhan-er,” the man takes Lan Zhan's hands in his.
"Jiujiu.” Lan Zhan chokes out, then composes himself. "What should I do?”
"You refused to tell me anything about your situation because it's his right; how can I advise you…but here's one thing that can help: place yourself in his shoes, do not think about his words, recall his voice and his body language.”
He gets up, and that man, he's too young to be Lan Zhan's mother's brother.
Lan Zhan gets up too, and that man hugs him, and Lan Zhan—
Lan Zhan sags against him.
"Thank you jiujiu.” Lan Zhan mumbles.
~•~•~
That day, Wei Wuxian makes sure he takes leave from Lan Xiao earlier so that he can catch Lan Zhan and apologize.
Lan Zhan looks at him, startled at the intrusion before looking elsewhere.
Wei Wuxian did not know how much that would hurt.
He sits down a table and calls softly, “Lan Zhan, have tea with me."
Lan Zhan swallows and Wei Wuxian braces himself for a rejection, but Lan Zhan just sits in front of him, and even begins to pour them tea.
“I…” he begins. No. He has to be brave now. "I apologize for my words back at Lotus Pier.”
Lan Zhan mutely shakes his head, resolutely staring at the teacup in his hand.
“Lan Zhan, you know I am an orphan, right?” He asks. Lan Zhan nods, still not letting Wei Wuxian see his pretty eyes.
"My parents chose each other, loved each other and I was a product of their love. Yet, they left me and what kept me in Lotus Pier was my cultivation prowess and my marital value.”
Lan Zhan finally looks up at him, twin suns dimmed by sadness.
“But I do not want you to feel as if you have to earn your keep." Lan Zhan states. “You are a good person, a brilliant inventor and that is it. For me, everything else is secondary. Please believe me when I say I would rather die than have an unhappy household."
The thing is, Wei Wuxian gets him. Gets him and it distorts Wei Wuxian's understanding of his place in the world.
Wei Wuxian exhales. And finally, finally confesses, voice nothing more than a murmur, eyes firmly on his lap, “The thing is, I don't want to be pregnant. I am scared of it. I do not want my body to change or for me have to go through labor pain.”
When he looks up, Lan Zhan…is smiling his small smile.
“Good." Lan Zhan declares. “Now that you have finally admitted you do not want to be intimate—"
“No!" Wei Wuxian bursts, emboldened by Lan Zhan's good. “Lan Zhan, Lan Wangji, Hanguang-jun, let this one court you please."
Lan Zhan gapes unbecomingly and Wei Wuxian giggles.
“You wish to court me?" Lan Zhan asks. “Whyever for?"
“Lan Zhan." Wei Wuxian says seriously. “There could have been no better husband than you. I am chaos and you are the ground I feel I can rest on. Despite myself, you have managed to reach a very deep part of me."
“Oh." Lan Zhan breathes.
“Just you wait, Lan Zhan." Wei Wuxian says, almost like a challenge, “I'll sweep you off your feet."
~•~•~
The whole of Cloud Recesses assembles for the lantern festival.
Wei Wuxian buys them both a lantern.
“What do you want me to draw, Lan Zhan?” He asks, then immediately clicks his finger, lightening up. "Oh, I know!”
Lan Zhan looks curiously at him but Wei Wuxian sits down and begins to draw a rabbit.
Lan Zhan sits and begins to write something on the other side of the lantern.
Once he and Lan Zhan are done, they exchange sides to see what the other has made. Lan Zhan's lines make him gasp. While his drawing tugs the corner of Lan Zhan's lips.
No water is wide enough if you crossed the sea,
No cloud is beautiful but that crowns the Mountain Wu.
When it is time, the lanterns float and Wei Wuxian closes his eyes and prays, let me keep him, forever and ever.
~•~•~
Wei Wuxian's array for keeping pests away from crops without being detrimental to its nutritional value gets the approval of Lan Clan.
After weeks of neglecting his sleep and having Lan Zhan feed him, Wei Wuxian savours his victory.
He savours the proud glint in Lan Zhan's golden eyes even more.
~•~•~
There is a discussion conference in Nightless City. Unfortunately for them, their presence is required.
Every Clan announces new marriages, births, etcetera etcetera and the newly married couple takes the blessing of all the Sect Leaders present.
When their marriage is announced, and they stand up, Wei Wuxian’s eyes track the Young Master Wen eyeing his husband with an unsavory glint in his eyes.
The hair on the back of his neck rise. It isn't the innocent admiration some people have of Hanguang-jun. And he doesn't understand why, why Wen Xu is leering at Lan Zhan, and not him? Not that he wants Wen Xu to leer…
But he thought other men didn't experience this.
He looks at his husband, who stands straight and doesn't suspect anything.
As they remain seated, he watches Wen Xu like a hawk. When their eyes do meet, Wen Xu scoffs.
Wei Wuxian doesn't understand. But he knows this: as long as they are here, he must stick to his husband.
Unfortunately, his plans are derailed because Lan Xiao drags him into the inventors' circle.
He just whispers into the shell of Lan Zhan's ear, “Be careful."
Lan Zhan appears confused but he has no time as Lan Xiao begins introducing him, forcing him to lose sight of Lan Zhan.
He won't be able to ease his heart until he sees Lan Zhan again. Unharmed, hopefully.
Otherwise Wen Xu will learn a new saying, hell has no fury like a husband whose husband has been harmed.
Wei Wuxian reaches their quarters and is about to knock, when he hears two voices talking.
"Young Master Wen, please leave. I am married now. Your advances—”
Wen Xu grabs Lan Wangji by his jaw—
Wei Wuxian sees red—
He flings open the door and in three strides, throws Wen Xu's offending arm away from Lan Wangji.
Then, he pounces on Wen Xu, attaching a body-locking talisman to his chest and beating the shit out of this man. How dare he—
"Wei Ying.” A hand to his shoulders and the anger lowers, then spikes again when he sees a handprint on Lan Zhan's jaw.
“Let him be.” How is Lan Zhan so calm even now? It infuriates him.
“Wei Ying." Lan Zhan's voice raises.
Wei Wuxian drags Wen Xu, across the floor, by the collar of his robes and throws him out in the cold. The body-locking talisman will do its job for two shi.
He closes the door behind him and hisses, “What were you trying to do? Why did you—"
“I'm sorry." Lan Wangji says. No, what why—
“Don't apologize, please." Wei Wuxian approaches him slowly. When Lan Zhan shows no sign of discomfort, he gently takes his jaw and looks sadly at it.
"I am sorry for getting mad at you.”
Lan Zhan's jaw shakes in his grip. "Your husband allowed another man to touch him—”
"No.” Wei Wuxian whispers tenderly. "My husband did no such thing.”
"Did he behave similarly in the past too?” He asks.
Lan Zhan nods.
"And you never told anyone?”
Lan Zhan shakes his head.
"Who did you tell?”
"Fuqin.”
"And what did he say?”
Lan Zhan appears ashamed. He gently forces Lan Zhan to look at him. "Hey, it's okay if you don't want to answer. Let me fetch some ice. Your jaw must be sore, fucking bastard.”
Lan Zhan shakes his head.
"My father laughed and said…I look too much like my mother. And too untouchable. That it makes people want to…" the next words are almost not there, “...ruin me."
“He didn't help you," Wei Wuxian concludes. Lan Zhan nods in affirmation. Wei Wuxian grimaces and Lan Zhan tries to free himself from Wei Wuxian's grip.
Wei Wuxian lets him go.
“Are you disgusted?" Lan Zhan asks quietly.
“What?" Wei Wuxian shouts. He grabs Lan Zhan by the shoulders and is relieved to have him not tensing under his touch.
“Lan Zhan, your father and that bastard are disgusting. You are not! Never! Tell me who told you and I will duel them for your honor."
“I am no maiden." Lan Zhan retorts.
“Aiyah, Lan Zhan," Wei Wuxian teases him. “I can duel for you a thousand times over."
“Mn, really?"
“Really. Wait, you don't believe me! What a pity that my husband doesn't believe me."
Wei Wuxian whines and sighs and sees Lan Zhan letting out a huff. Okay, good. Now Lan Zhan doesn't look so desolate.
“He never touched me." Lan Zhan says out of the blue.
They're lying together on the bed, staring at the ceiling. Wei Wuxian turns sideways so that he can better face Lan Zhan.
"Huh?” Wei Wuxian asks, a little lost.
"He never touched me like this before.” Lan Zhan explains. “Perhaps he got jealous."
“Hm." Wei Wuxian considers why Lan Zhan felt the need to tell him.
“Lan Zhan, you know I don't blame you, right." Wei Wuxian speaks. “I know it can be scary—”
Lan Zhan immediately turns sideways too, looking at Wei Wuxian with alert eyes.
“You've been harassed before too?"
So at least Lan Zhan knows that behavior isn't okay. Phew. “No. But I knew a few people who were. They were all women, though. I thought it never happens to men…”
"Like me." Lan Zhan finishes it for him, closing his eyes.
When he opens them, they are wry. "To people like Wen Xu, who think they can get away with it…"
Wei Wuxian hums, understanding the incomplete sentence.
“You aren't able to sleep?" Wei Wuxian asks Lan Zhan softly.
"No.” Lan Zhan replies back, just as soft.
What a question to ask but…
"Would it be better if I held you?”
Eyes too bright for the darkness around them snap open to meet his. Wei Wuxian holds his breath, hoping for yes, hoping for…
"Please.”
Lan Zhan — taller than Wei Wuxian by two centimeters — curls around Wei Wuxian, long limbs folding to fit between Wei Wuxian's arms.
Wei Wuxian holds him the entire night. Well not the entire night.
The next day, no one can explain, but Wen Xu goes blind.
~•~•~
That night, something changes. They come to an arrangement, an unsaid but mutually beneficial arrangement.
The arrangement of embracing each other as they sleep.
Sometimes Lan Zhan holds him and sometimes, he holds Lan Zhan.
He cherishes the nights Lan Zhan lets him hold him the most.
What is this feeling?
~•~•~
Wei Wuxian hears the guqin music wafting around the Jingshi and smiles to himself.
This is what he needs after grueling work. Beautiful music played by a beautiful man.
He says so, and has the pleasure of watching Lan Zhan glare at him and blush because of him.
Wei Wuxian grins, wicked sharp.
As he freshens up, he notes Lan Zhan took breaks between playing the music, almost like—
“Are you composing?" Wei Wuxian asks, sitting beside Lan Zhan and handing him a glass of water.
“Mn." Lan Zhan replies. As Wei Wuxian is about to take a look at the music sheet, Lan Wangji folds it.
“Why?" Wei Wuxian whines, crossing his arms. “Lan Zhan, I don't even know what's written in a music sheet."
“But you play dizi."
“Yes but, I just picked it up, I wasn't formally—" Then, he frowns, “How do you know that?"
“At your room in Lotus Pier, there was a dizi." Lan Zhan says. Then asks, “Why did you not take it here."
Wei Wuxian shrugs as he says, “Your uncle said the dizi was too crude for your spouse."
Lan Zhan seems to ponder over it, but doesn't say anything, and resumes composing that mysterious song.
Wei Wuxian unloads his bag and begins to scribble, which turns into the sixth portrait of Lan Zhan.
Soon, they have dinner and sleep.
The next morning, Wei Wuxian wakes up to no Lan Zhan — what a misfortune! — and a rectangular box near his pillow.
The rectangular box opens to reveal a dizi. With a red tassel.
Wei Wuxian cannot stop the stupid smile from splitting his face into two.
Lan Zhan, warn a man.
When Wei Wuxian thanks Lan Zhan, Lan Zhan establishes the first — and only — rule of their marriage: no need for thanks and sorrys between us.
~•~•~
Their next visit to town reveals what Lan Zhan had been staring at. With such longing in his eyes.
It's… a rabbit figurine.
And Wei Wuxian wins it after successfully playing darts.
When he presents it to Lan Zhan with a flourish, Lan Zhan kisses his cheek and serenely moves ahead.
Wei Wuxian raises his hand to cheek, but stops before it removes the impression of Lan Zhan's lips on his…
He can feel his face heating up, the vendor's teasing smile, the aunt's wriggling eyebrows, and flushes harder.
Lan Zhan! He stomps over to join Lan Zhan, cheeks puffed in mock agitation, and discovers Lan Zhan is blushing himself.
Wei Wuxian boops his nose in retaliation and chuckles at the scrunched up expression he makes.
“Lan Zhan," Wei Wuxian calls him seriously, but the sparkle in his eyes betrays him. "You must warn me, or I will perish.”
Lan Zhan nods, as though this is very serious and says, "I will.”
Wei Wuxian looks up at the heavens but finds no help.
~•~•~
"Wei Ying.” Lan Zhan calls him. "I would like you to meet someone.”
Is it that guy?
"Okay Lan Zhan.” He smiles easily.
They walk towards what Wei Wuxian has dubbed, the Rabbit Meadows.
“Jiujiu." Lan Zhan calls softly. Behind Wei Wuxian, a silken voice whispers, “Hello, nephew-in-law."
When he whips around, there is no one. Instead, the man is now standing in front of him.
He looks nothing like Lan Zhan. He isn't even, like ten percent as handsome as Lan Zhan, yet he is his jiujiu?
“Yes, yes. I know what you might be thinking. How is such a handsome man related to your husband, right?"
“Wrong." Wei Wuxian bites. “The opposite."
“Oh." His lips curve into a mocking smile.
Lan Zhan exhales and they both turn at him.
“Wei Ying, this is Mei Shen, my jiujiu, and also the Rabbit God.”
Mei Shen looks like he expects a bow or a gasp of surprise but Wei Wuxian only laughs, slapping his thighs.
"You're the Rabbit God.” Wei Wuxian hiccups. "And yet the rabbits chose Lan Zhan! Ha, ha!”
Lan Zhan chuckles quietly but Wei Wuxian catches it. Mei Shen narrows his eyes.
“Well, I have met your insolent husband, Zhan-er." Despite the words, he has an easy smile that chills Wei Wuxian.
"Keep making him laugh Wei Wuxian or I'll break your legs.”
"Yessir!”
After Mei Shen disappears, Lan Zhan and Wei Wuxian have an impromptu picnic in the Rabbit Meadows.
Wei Wuxian asks cautiously, for his husband's sake, "If he's your jiujiu, why didn't he protect his sister?”
"He was five when my mother, only sixteen, gave birth to Xiongzhang.” Lan Zhan begins. "He ascended when he was seventeen. I was a child of nine or ten when he first revealed himself to me.”
Wei Wuxian reaches out and squeezes Lan Zhan's hands.
“What was she like, your mother."
“Jiujiu told me her name was Mei Fei. She was like a hurricane, a tornado. Unstoppable. Wild. Free. Reckless. And with a smile that reached your soul." Lan Zhan has a soft smile on his face.
"I know nothing of my parents.” Wei Wuxian says. Now Lan Zhan scoots closer and rubs along the length of his arm. "Cangse Sanren was my mother's title. No one ever mentioned her name due to Madam Yu. But there's one memory I remember clearly.”
"Hm?”
"I am on my father's shoulders and my mother is riding on a donkey and we were laughing together.”
Wei Wuxian exhales. Then intertwines their fingers and kisses the back of Lan Zhan's hand, "Thank you for—”
Lan Wangji uses the other hand to place a finger on Wei Wuxian's lips, eyes narrowed playfully.
Wei Wuxian bites the finger, causing Lan Zhan to free himself from Wei Wuxian's grip, create some space between them and hiss a breathless shameless.
============
Lan Wangji searches the drawers of Jingshi. One of his compositions is missing. While it would be untoward to suspect his husband, it is within the realm of possibilities.
He opens a drawer that has a stack of papers, neatly arranged. He turns one over and—
Mouth open, stares at a portrait of himself, sitting poised with his guqin in front.
His heart gives a mighty thump.
With slightly unsteady hands, he turns over another, and finds another likeness of his.
Over and over, he turns the pages. Over and over, he finds himself drawn.
There are so many portraits: of him surrounded by rabbits; in the market, having a candy; him with a dandelion in hand, patting A-Hua; him in his wedding robes which also has a scribble, the best man in the world is my husband ;).
Wei Ying. He thinks. Do you see me this way?
Since it's his drawing made by his husband, it's within his rights to tuck one drawing away for himself.
Hopefully.
============
Wei Wuxian's favorite drawing — Lan Zhan in wedding robes, like a rose unfurling, a phoenix arising from the ashes — is missing.
Wei Wuxian must investigate this.
Lan Zhan in all of that glory is for Wei Wuxian's eyes alone.
“Lan Zhan.” Wei Wuxian calls, his distress causing Lan Zhan to immediately look up from his teacup.
"Someone broke into Jingshi.” Wei Wuxian declares.
Lan Zhan furrows his brow, then he says, "Someone stole my composition too.”
At that, heat climbs to Wei Wuxian's cheeks, but he adds, completely innocently, “And my drawing, too!"
Then animated: "Lan Zhan, we must set a trap for this thief!”
Lan Zhan averts his eyes at once, and mumbles, “Not a thief."
“Eh?" Wei Wuxian voices, confused.
“I took your painting." Lan Zhan admits. If he must have seen that, he must have seen the other twenty or so paintings.
Oh. The blush reaches his hairline.
If Lan Zhan has confessed, it is only proper that Wei Wuxian admit to having borrowed Lan Zhan's music sheet.
“But why?" Lan Zhan questions. Wei Wuxian can ask that too. His face feels so hot. Wei Wuxian never felt like this before.
It's all Lan Zhan's fault, somehow.
“I wanted to see what you were so secretive about.” Wei Wuxian says, thinking he sounds like one of those nosy concubines from fancy court novels.
Ew.
“I am sorry.” They say simultaneously, then Wei Wuxian barks out a laugh and Lan Zhan rolls his eyes.
"You can keep that painting, Lan Zhan.” Wei Wuxian winks.
"And you return that sheet to me.” Lan Zhan orders. "You can keep it after it's complete.”
“Okay, Lan Zhan." Wei Wuxian concedes. “How did you find the painting?”
"Lovely.” Lan Zhan compliments.
Wei Wuxian grins and says cheekily, "If the muse is so breathtaking, wouldn't the painting also be so?”
Lan Zhan rolls his eyes again.
That's twice in one setting! Wow, Wei Wuxian. Congrats.
~•~•~
They finish releasing the spirit trapped in a village; a woman betrayed by her sister and the man she loved. The man had taken advantage of her, then moved on to her sister.
She had killed the man, drowned the sister and now was possessing their child, wrecking havoc in her mother's house.
Lan Zhan and Wei Wuxian played music for the first time, a perfect blend, and the case was solved.
The child was in her grandmother's custody now.
"What do you think about adoption, sweetheart?” Wei Wuxian asks, then stops and turns back to face Lan Zhan who had paused in his steps.
"Lan Zhan, what happened?” Wei Wuxian chuckles. "Did my question catch you off-guard?”
"Yes.” Lan Zhan deadpans. Then completely sincere, "Let us not discuss it so carelessly."
“Me?" Wei Wuxian gasps, jogging up to Lan Zhan who seems to be in a hurry. “Careless? What slander!"
Just as they reach the outskirts of the village, clouds open up and rain begins to pour at once in earnest.
Wei Wuxian drags Lan Zhan to the nearest tree, getting wet despite their best efforts.
Wei Wuxian turns to smile at Lan Zhan and joke about their bad luck, but he freezes, words dying, throat dry.
Rain has made his husband bewitching.
Damp hair clings to his rosy cheeks, his neckline, the collar sticks to his bones, outlining their tantalizing shape.
Without his permission, Wei Wuxian removes Lan Zhan's strands from his face, his neck, tucking them behind his ear, not knowing when he moved now that he has Lan Zhan pressed against a tree.
And Lan Zhan is looking up — despite being taller! — at him through his lashes.
“I am going to kiss you." Wei Wuxian whispers, inching closer. “Better push me away now."
Lan Zhan doesn't push him away, but grabs him by his shoulders and Wei Wuxian’s arms encircle Lan Zhan's ridiculous waist.
There is a distance of three, two, one breath—
Wei Wuxian presses his lips closer, and Lan Zhan parts his mouth in silent invitation. Wei Wuxian’s hands move above to tenderly hold Lan Zhan's face and kiss him the way he deserves— soft, slow and syrupy sweet.
When they break apart, Wei Wuxian rests his forehead against Lan Zhan's and smiles, looking into those golden eyes which shine brighter than any sun ever could.
~•~•~
Shijie writes:
A-Xian,
How are you? I apologize I took too long to pen this letter. I am wonderful myself.
In fact, I have very good news: you're going to be an uncle! I'm pregnant!
How is Hanguang-jun? And what about giving my kid some cousins?
Did you make some friends?
Your Shijie
Wei Wuxian, elated beyond compare, replies:
Shijie,
Congratulations! Congratulations! I'm so happy! I am going to be the world's greatest uncle (shh, don't tell A-Cheng!)
Hanguang-jun is lovely and radiant as ever. He asks you to call him Lan Wangji, since you are family. He sends his blessings to the child and the new family.
Shijie, take care, don't overwork or stress yourself. Let that peacock take care of you! If he doesn't, letter me and I'll set him straight.
I hope my nephew inherits his Jiang side more, otherwise you're going to have another peacock, or maybe you'd prefer it, eh, Shijie?
Yes, I have made an entire battalion of friends.
See you soon, Shijie.
Your A-Xian.
~•~•~
Cloud Recesses begins to quietly prepare for the Summer Guest Lectures.
Lan Xiao pulls him aside and asks if he'd like to teach a talisman and arrays class.
Wei Wuxian beams at him and agrees enthusiastically.
“I and Lan Zhan are teacher-husbands, now!" He exclaims.
“Hanguang-jun doesn't teach the guest disciples." Lan Xiao says quietly.
Wei Wuxian furrows his brows. “What? But, we've seen him teaching junior most disciples and taking junior disciples to night-hunting?"
“Yes." Lan Xiao agrees. “But those are Lan disciples. Not guest disciples.”
"But why!?” He asks with more force than necessary, his mood souring.
"The Clan Leader forbade him, despite Lan Qiren’s protests.” Lan Xiao says.
"Surely even a blind can see what a great teacher my Lan Zhan is!” Wei Wuxian says, agitatedly.
"Indeed.” Lan Xiao says. Then sighs, "It is no secret that Qingheng-jun prefers his heir and older son to his younger one."
“What!?" Wei Wuxian says, but yes, it seems possible. He isn't sure whether Qingheng-jun attended his wedding; he certainly did not appear at the family breakfast. And his stand on the Wen Xu situation…
Wei Wuxian wants to punch someone. Preferably Qingheng-jun and his stupidity. How can a parent show favoritism?
That night, Wei Wuxian hugs Lan Zhan for a long time and doesn't answer Lan Zhan's repeated, “Are you okay, Wei Ying?"
~•~•~
Lan Zhan hands Wei Wuxian a music sheet one fine morning.
"It's complete.” Is what Lan Zhan has to say.
“What's the name of this song?" Wei Wuxian asks.
“Figure it out yourself." Lan Zhan says, with a subtle smirk.
Wei Wuxian scrunches his nose and Lan Zhan kisses him there. Wei Wuxian scrunches his nose harder but Lan Zhan is already ignoring him!
“Lan Zhan." Wei Wuxian drags his name in a whine. “Please tell me."
Lan Zhan only shakes his head.
By now, Lan Zhan would have gone to teach the junior most disciples but now…
“What will you do, Lan Zhan?" Wei Wuxian asks.
“I will sit here and look like a pretty househusband." Is what comes out of Lan Zhan's mouth and Wei Wuxian immediately tackles him to the ground.
He kisses his forehead and pats his chubby cheeks. Lan Zhan looks up and palms the side of his face. "Wei Ying, why do you look so sad?”
Wei Wuxian only now realises that he had been straddling Lan Zhan, so he rolls over and closes his eyes, pushing back his emotions.
He looks at Lan Zhan, dressed only in his inner robes that fit snugly on his frame, looking so cozy that Wei Wuxian wants him wrapped around himself.
How can someone meet him and decide that he doesn't deserve their time? Especially his father.
“Wei Ying." Lan Zhan calls and it's his please tell me what ails you Wei Ying.
“Nothing! Nothing!" Wei Wuxian replies, voice high-pitched, pushing his papers into his bag and slamming the door shut behind him.
He slumps against the door. Then shakes his head and moves to his class.
Wei Wuxian finds Lan Zhan in the library, copying a delicate manuscript.
Quietly, he sits opposite to him and takes the book he had brought.
A romance between two men! Disguised as a reference book!
It is between a Second Prince and a war-worn General. How the Second Prince appears to be stoic but helps the General. How the General — cynical of this world — gets obsessed with this soft (for him) Prince.
Wei Wuxian has to control his giggles, lest people think what's so funny about arrays.
The couple is so cute. The illustrations make him swoon, until a page comes that completely blindsides him.
An illustration that makes him gulp loudly, then look over the book to see if Lan Zhan caught it.
Don't think. Don't think. Don't turn. Don't think about Lan Zhan and you—
He closes the book with a loud smack and Lan Zhan raises one perfect eyebrow—
And has a violet vision of him being haughty despite pinned underneath Wei—
Wei Wuxian gets up, fanning his face. It's too hot in the library.
~•~•~
Lan Zhan goes on another night hunt. This time Wei Wuxian is unable to join him, busy as he is with the classes.
On his way to Jingshi, a disciple informs him that Sect Leader Lan is inviting him to Mingshi, his personal study.
Wei Wuxian raises his brow but doesn't say anything, following the disciple's lead.
The disciple knocks and says, “Sect Leader, Wei-gongzi is here."
Then he bows to Wei Wuxian and departs. Wei Wuxian enters the study and for the first time, he is face-to-face with him.
Qingheng-jun is seated behind his desk which is arranged meticulously. Sect Leader Lan is a handsome man, but not as handsome as either of his sons.
"Sect Leader.” Wei Wuxian bows shallowly. Qingheng-jun’s eyes narrow.
"Lan-er-furen.” He pronounces each syllable, eyes not leaving Wei Wuxian's.
Months ago, Wei Wuxian would have flinched at the title. But now, he does not. Not because he has accepted being a furen, but people's labels no longer matter to him.
"Sect Leader.” His tone is brusque. He doesn't care. "What business do you have with me?”
"Did Ziyuan never flay that tongue of yours?” He asks.
"No, sir.” Wei Wuxian replies. “Only my butt."
Qingheng-jun appears minutely scandalized. Well, never expect propriety from a street urchin.
“Wei Wuxian, mind your tongue. You represent your husband and he our clan." He says. “Which reminds me, have you tried conception?"
Wei Wuxian really wants to punch him.
“No." He says curtly.
“As expected of my son." Qingheng-jun says, with a dark smile. “He has a soft heart."
He. Is. Not. Yours. Only mine.
“Do you know your place, Wei Wuxian?" He asks. “Or has his coddling made you forget who you are?"
“I perfectly know my place. It's by his side. And no, he doesn't coddle me."
Wei Wuxian is getting tired of this conversation. He would like to sink his nose in Lan Zhan's side of the bed that has his sandalwood scent.
"But what would you know?” Wei Wuxian mocks. “The difference between coddling people and respecting their choices."
Qingheng-jun springs up to his feet, red in the face. He is taller than Lan Zhan. Broader too. Yet he looks almost like a caricature.
Wei Wuxian bows again, even more shallowly and says, “If there's nothing of note, I'd take my leave."
"Wei Wuxian.” Qingheng-jun's voice halts him in his tracks but he doesn't turn. "Remind Wangji of the festival.”
"Will do.” He replies, insolent on purpose and shuts the door.
He doesn't see the red on his face turning violet or the way Qingheng-jun's fists clench themselves.
~•~•~
Lan Zhan comes home and Wei Wuxian greets him by giving him a long hug and whining about missing his eyes.
Until Lan Zhan presents him with a bouquet of roses in all shades — red, pink, white, yellow — with crimson cheeks.
Delighted, Wei Wuxian takes the bouquet and places it in the vase the dandelion had previously been, then pinches Lan Zhan's cheeks, despite Lan Zhan protesting.
“Thank you." And he smacks a kiss on Lan Zhan's forehead.
His husband appears appropriately pleased.
"So,” Wei Wuxian begins, “Qingheng-jun called me."
"Hm.” Is Lan Zhan's eloquent reply, as he folds his travelling robes and dons the softer, homely ones. "What did he say?”
Wei Wuxian leaves out all the ugly details and says, "He mentioned about a festival.”
"Oh.” Lan Zhan intones. Then informs him, "It's a festival celebrated on the anniversary of Lan An’s birth. Every year, couples perform a melody together.”
"All couples?” Wei Wuxian asks, fascinated by a festival celebrating their marriage.
"Only those whose marriage is not older than a decade.” Lan Zhan answers.
"So, can we perform that mysterious song?” Wei Wuxian asks. "You haven't even told me the name.”
"Which means you're too slow to figure it out on your own.” Lan Zhan retorts.
Wei Wuxian pouts. "Lan Zhan! I'm a genius.”
"You are.” Lan Zhan acknowledges, then smirks. "But not here.”
“You're right." Wei Wuxian slumps. “At least gimme a hint."
“The song signifies…an union.” Lan Zhan reddens as he says.
"Okay. Okay.” Wei Wuxian orders his heartbeat to calm. "You'll have the answer by tomorrow. By the way, which weapon should I learn?”
"Did you not like the dizi?” Lan Zhan asks.
Wei Wuxian hurries to assure him, waving his arms. "No, no, but your uncle—?”
"Do his words matter or mine?” Lan Zhan rudely interrupts him to huff, arms crossed and a petulant expression on his face.
Wei Wuxian melts in a puddle.
Gently, he takes hold of Lan Zhan's shoulders and turns him over. “Of course not." He says. “This husband will do as his lord commands." He even gives a three finger salute.
Lan Zhan nods, pleased as a cat that gets the cream.
~•~•~
“It's WangXian!" Wei Wuxian climbs into Lan Zhan's lap during meditation and shouts.
Lan Zhan serenely opens his eyes and says, “Good work." Then goes back to meditating, eyes closed and doesn't even remove Wei Wuxian from his lap.
Wei Wuxian whispers into the shell of Lan Zhan's ear, hand on the back of his neck, “I love you too."
Underneath the tip of his finger, Lan Zhan's pulse stumbles, then quickens. But he doesn't open his eyes.
Yet.
Wei Wuxian kisses the ruddy earlobe, then that perfect jawline, trailing lower to the open, inviting dip of his collarbones.
Lan Zhan's breathing picks up.
Wei Wuxian bites, hard. And looks up to meet Lan Zhan's eyes. His lips tug into a devilish smirk, until Lan Zhan grabs his shoulders and pulls him in for a punishing kiss.
Wei Wuxian lets his mouth be plundered, hands closing around Lan Zhan's neck. Then, he bites Lan Zhan's lower lip and the silent gasp is all the invitation he needs to wreck Lan Zhan's mouth.
When they part, Wei Wuxian looks at Lan Zhan's red, glassy lips, forehead ribbon askew, a dark bruise blooming on the base of his throat and preens.
Mine. Something in his chest snarls.
Lan Zhan removes his forehead ribbon and ties it around Wei Wuxian's wrist, “I am yours for eternity."
The creature in Wei Wuxian's chest is soothed.
He touches the pretty knot and blinks at it. “You didn't tie it on the wedding day as dictated by Lan customs?"
“Self-perservation." Lan Zhan mutters, head falling on Wei Wuxian's shoulders.
“What?" He asks.
“If I had given you my forehead ribbon that day without making sure of your consent first, then even after you left, I would have bound myself to you."
Wei Wuxian rests his head above Lan Zhan's and smiles.
~•~•~
Cloud Recesses glows during what Wei Wuxian has taken to call The Festival of Everlasting Romance.
He also learns that you have to dress in colours that scream love for you and your partner shouldn't know about them.
Wei Wuxian commissions robes of baby blue and pink with golden embroidery of clouds and lotuses.
He steps out of the dressing scene and freezes at the sight in front of him.
Lan Zhan looks so pretty! It's so unfair for Wei Wuxian's feeble heart.
Lan Zhan is wearing red and black robes. And they're, wait, they're Wei Wuxian's robes!
Wei Wuxian inches closer and pulls him by the sash. Lan Zhan's hands come to rest on his shoulders.
Now so close, he can see the way his robes — tight-fitting for himself — emphasize Lan Zhan's shoulder-to-waist ratio.
He hooks his fingers under Lan Zhan's chin and tilts up his face.
“You look so good, baby." He rasps and sees Lan Zhan shudder at the praise.
He takes Lan Zhan's knuckles and kisses them, feather-light and reverent.
"Ready, my moon?” Wei Wuxian asks.
"Yes.” Lan Zhan replies, although it is mostly air.
~•~•~
The curtain parts and they're greeted by excited murmurs, little ones suddenly perking up in interest and Lan Xichen's eyes curving in amusement.
Lan Zhan and he were made for each other.
Lan Zhan plays guqin almost straightforwardly, with sincere words and earnest tune. Wei Wuxian adds playfulness and mischief to it, delighted to be met with his equal.
By the time they finish, the audience claps enthusiastically, but nothing compares to the way Lan Zhan looks at Wei Wuxian and laughs a twinkling laugh.
The curtain closes, even as the audience wishes for a glimpse of laughing Hanguang-jun, beautiful beyond compare, resplendent in his joy.
FIN.