Work Text:
Nobody on England's U-20 team expected Teddy Knight, their New Gen 11 player, not to show up before their match in the World Cup. It wasn't in character for him too be late at all, so his tardiness for such a major event was worrying at the very least. Phone calls were left unanswered and nobody had seen him since he'd gone out for a jog that morning.
___
Teddy was sure people were losing their minds over his absence. He was an important figure, after all. The team's star player and all that. It didn't make him less of a doll. It never did. A funny, pathetic looking doll, he was sure. But, for once, he didn't 𝘧𝘦𝘦𝘭 like one. For the first time in maybe his whole life, he felt human. Because toys didn't hurt, and toys didn't bleed out on the sidewalk.
As the rays from the streetlights seemed to dim, he thought about how he ended up in this situation.
___
"Oi, Teddy," a teammate greeted, hands in his pockets. "Going out?"
The player turned his head to look. "Yeah. For a jog," he explained, not bothering with further details. His teammate didn't actually care, and Teddy didn't owe him anything. With a small nod, both were on their way.
Usually, he wasn't one to care for morning runs. But they had a match tonight - against Japan's Blue Lock. It didn't weigh heavy on his shoulders, but he preferred to be in good shape. He usually heard that people went out for these kinds of activities because it helped them relax and gave them time to reconnect with themselves and their thoughts. This wasn't Teddy's case. He had all the time in the world to be alone with his thoughts. It had revealed long ago that he was hollow inside. A mindless doll. He was well acquainted with that.
Not much life was in the area. Only a few cars passed by occasionally. He wondered if he was adding to the living beings count in here or if he made no difference. He came to the conclusion that he could wonder all he liked: it wouldn't make him think higher of himself nor would it grant him an answer.
He was thinking too much again. Unsuited for a toy made out of dirty rugs. He would come to the conclusion that he hated morning runs, if he cared enough to form an opinion.
Teddy continued running. The fast pace of his own steps triggered no pleasure, no feeling at all. Nothing did. Nothing had, for a long time. Nothing, except football.
The intense sensation when he dribbled the ball past his opponents, one akin to victory, was the only thing that reminded him that somewhere, deep inside, he hadn't always been a piece of entertainment for the world. The thrill of doing the only thing he loved got his blood coursing and his heart beating, beating fast, as if yelling at him to acknowledge it. During those moments, he did, and Teddy felt as if he could fly. Football made him understand, even if only for a few minutes, what everyone was talking about. The desire for growing wings, the sentiment of freedom.
But it never lasted, nor did the memory of it feel real afterwards. It was a piece of fabric he was wrapped in. And he was wrapped in plenty. Plenty of memories that didn't feel... real. A doll was a portal to the world of fiction, only alike with humans by appearance. It was hollow inside. It never felt anything. Teddy felt a certain connection with that concept. So then, why did he feel so thrilled when kicking a ball? That was a question he never bothered answering. So, he kept on running.
And he ran. Ran, until his breathing became heavy and his chest felt laboured. Ran until his legs were dangerously close to giving out. Exhaustion made him human, yet he didn't bother making anything out of it. Still, he was drained. He took a break, sipping his water mindlessly. Now, he would go back to his team and rest a bit, maybe... He still had to run back, though. The thought process was almost mechanic. Why walk back when he'd already ran all the way? He jogged for himself, not because anyone was waiting for him.
Teddy paused. It suddenly clicked. Nobody was waiting for him. What would he do if he ran back now? Nothing. Rest, train a bit, all while the others chatted the day away. He much preferred the quiet this almost lifeless place provided. A bit too much, probably. Because he continued, walking this time. He had plenty of that to waste.
He walked. This wasn't getting lively any time soon, it seemed, as the place was full of old buildings, some of which abandoned, choked in ivy and other plants. Nobody cared for them. Neither did Teddy. The houses didn't look affected by this. Their existence didn't cease, and the plants didn't wither at the indifference. Other people may have admired them. Not Teddy. They were still just buildings, just leaves. They would eventually fall, wilt. Just like humans would eventually die. Teddy was no exception. But his time would come much faster than he expected.
He walked, and walked, until he couldn't anymore. Fortunately, ahead was a city. Teddy checked his watch. Determined to go waste some time, he'd walked for a good hour and a half. Welll, 𝘯𝘰𝘸 going back would be a pain. Annoyed, he kept walking, reaching the city and finding a bench to rest on. The atmosphere, contrasting the previous image, was quite lively here. Lively and loud.
Not few people shot Teddy long glances. He wasn't unknown for sure, as a New Gen 11 player with a match tonight, just a few kilometers away from here. He didn't pay the stares any mind. Even if he weren't used to it, people's opinions had never affected him. He knew he was shitty. He knew he was mindless and cruel and careless. He'd lost all sense of self and ego a while ago. What worse things could the people think about him that he wasn't already aware of?
It wasn't that he didn't wish he wasn't like this. He did. And this desire was long inscribed on the walls of his soul, along with any other feeling he may have felt. His heart yearned to be set free from the cage of the self doubt and belittling no one subdued him to but himself, yet it was so familiar with this self deprecation, it would lose its way if Teddy were to let it feel anything else.
bunnybunnybunnybunnybunny
The player didn't stay there long, or so he thought. He was already wilted from the poison leaking from the lies he'd told himself his whole life, what was one more? But enough was enough, and so he was on his way. Leaving the busy, buzzing energy of the city and going back to that dead painting ahead felt unsettling, if slightly familiar. He walked the same path as before, feeling no different. Feeling just as empty as the houses he passed.
Then it happened.
Fear was a strange thing. Because, no matter how numb, how used to feelings he couldn't experience any longer, Teddy still felt fear. It ate at his stomach and paralyzed his limbs every time. No matter how many times he'd feel it, fear would never become familiar to him, something that he could get used to. Teddy wasn't afraid of fear, but it never stopped him from feeling it down to the marrow of his bones. And now, with the agitation happening a few meters behind him, his heart faltered with this distinct sensation.
He turned around. He was well rested, ready to run. Should he be this afraid? Probably not. It was illogical. Anyone was allowed to walk this path. It didn't mean danger. But his sharp instincts, the ones he'd spent most time with, disagreed.
And they were right.
Teddy didn't get the chance to run. He didn't get a good look at his attacker. What he did catch were the two loud, sharp bangs. His brain barely registered them before it registered the blinding pain, below his ribs and near his stomach, above his hipbones. His lungs, once working at exceptional capacity, suddenly felt heavy and painful. Before he knew it, he was on the ground, and the shooter's footsteps were hurrying away.
Teddy.
Focus.
Teddy managed to gather his thoughts. He quickly came to a simple conclusion: he was dying. He could feel it in his heart, that was once steady, now trembling with panic and agony. This feeling, he wasn't accustomed to. He watched as the blood his hands failed from spilling stained the ground red. How pathetic must he look, two holes leaking blood, laying uselessly on the sidewalk. A doll. But as he stared at the red liquid, he saw nothing of the sort. This... it was undeniable proof of his humanity. Of the part he'd succeeded in muffling out. And his heart, once aching for feeling, was now overwhelmed.
Teddy felt his heart, his one anchor, giving up on him. And then he felt nothing at all.
___
___
His teammates were concerned.
Teddy never showed up: he couldn't have, after all, forgotten, adding to the atmosphere of the already lifeless place he'd chosen for his jog. Which caused confusion and slight panic.
"He's not answering," someone said. "What do we do?"
"We can send someone to look for him", the coach suggested. "But we don't have time to do it ourselves nor time to wait for him. We'll replace him. You," he pointed at a player, who nodded solemnly.
The coach did send a few people to search for him just minutes before the match. Then, he waited.
The match went on relatively well, though people were wondering where Teddy Knight was. Nothing interesting happened for the first 50 minutes. Then, the coach got the call.
___
The news got out pretty fast. In the Blue Lock training room, Hiori discovered them first. "Yo, isn't Teddy Knight the guy who came in a few days ago, kicked Bachira in the face, showed off and left?" he asked.
Karasu crossed his arms and answered, "Yeah, the one with the ugly ass hair."
"Look who's talking," said Yukki. "Why do you ask?"
"Well, he's dead."
Silence.
"“Dead”, as in... dead? Gone? No more?" asked Shidou, and Hiori showed the news on his phone to everyone. Isagi looked like he was about to throw up, while Kurona shrugged, "I mean, he had some nerve asking us to lose..."
"Insensitive much?" asked Rin. "I mean, not that I care in particular."
"Wow", Oliver deadpanned. "You're all soulless."
"I mean, he 𝘸𝘢𝘴 an asshole..."
"Hold on, hold on. Interviews were taken," Hiori interrupted. "From the other New Gen 11s."
They clicked play on one of them. Kaiser popped into view, looking bored. A reporter behind the camera asked, "Kaiser, opinions on the murder of Teddy Knight?"
Kaiser shrugged. "I mean, the guy lowkey had it coming..."
The camera panned to Ness, standing beside him, looking slightly alarmed at Kaiser's answer. "YOU CAN'T SAY THAT!!! I'm sorry. WE are extremely sorry."
"No we're not."
"Were you two close?" the reporter followed.
"Who, me and 𝘛𝘦𝘥𝘥𝘺 𝘣𝘦𝘢𝘳?" Kaiser looked offended. "Like fuck we were-"
The camera cut off. The next video was Bunny Iglesias's interview. The same first question was asked, at which his answer was, "Well, what goes around, comes around..." He refused to elaborate further on that.
Next video: Sae. "The English guy? Can't say I knew him much. Or liked him much."
Don Lorenzo's answer was slightly more sensitive of the situation. Or would've been, if he hadn't followed with, "but eh, not like it was anyone 𝘪𝘮𝘱𝘰𝘳𝘵𝘢𝘯𝘵."
Loki and Hugo were interviewed together. The judgemental glance that they exchanged at the mention of the fallen dribbler was missed by no one.
"So, in conclusion, nobody gives a shit," said Karasu.
"Zero people liked this", said Rin. And then everyone went on with their day.
___
"Egoooo~" Buratsuta called out. "May I bring Seishiro Nagi back?"
Ego, already pissed off and about to throw a tantrum, inhaled sharply. "Do fucking whatever."
"HUZZAH!" Buratsuta cheered. Nagi was brought back within minutes.
He entered the Blue Lock training room. "Hi."
Reo jumped up immediately. "NAGI?! NAGI!!!" he jumped to hug him. Everyone was happy and nobody cared about Teddy Knight ugly hair anymore.
"Kuni, this could be us..." tried Chigiri watching Nagi and Reo. Kunigami didn't even look at him.
"L," said someone behind him. Life was great.