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Life After Infinity
"Tony, I think we need to talk about, well, about how you're going to be doing things, going forward." Pepper was at his bedside, he'd been home from Titan and the subsequent stranding in deep space for a month for just over a week, and he was about to be released from Bruce's care, but under strict precautions to stay hydrated, EAT, and limit his stress and physical activities.
Tony managed to regain a little of the weight he'd lost, but he still tired easily, and there was concern about his heart having been damaged due to the starvation and oxygen deprivation.
He was sitting up in the bed, dressed in flannel pajama pants and a t-shirt, but otherwise he looked like a fair approximation of the man who had left her at the park that afternoon just a few weeks back.
Warily, he eyed her, not at all sure he liked where the conversation was going. "Wait, what do you mean, 'going forward'. I'm still Iron Man, I still work for my *own* company, and I still fully intend to continue being a productive member of society...What, exactly, is the question, here?" He shot back at her, his irritation quite clear.
Shaking her head and looking down at her hands for a moment before going forward, Pepper persisted. "Tony, I know you want to keep going just like everything was before, but, it's NOT like before. And it's not going to be. Half of SI's employees are...gone," here she stopped herself, hating the stricken look on his face any time the Blip was mentioned, but he HAD to see reason! Because he wasn't aware of it yet, but Pepper knew that this was about more than just the two of them, now, and he would hopefully find that out soon enough. But it was too early, and if he suffered another loss now...Pepper didn't want to think about "what then". She really wanted to wait at least a few more weeks before she told him about the baby.
"And, Tony, you can't just keep running around like you're twenty-five years old anymore." She took his hand in hers at that point, clearly seeing that he wanted to disagree with her, but even he knew the truth of what she was saying, much as it displeased him.
Before she could continue, he interrupted. "I-I know, Pepper, but, what do you want me to do? I can't just sit around at home doing...nothing. I'll go insane!"
Smiling fondly at his words, she couldn't help but tease, "What, you mean, *more* insane?" Earning her a chagrinned smile from Tony.
"Well, yeah, but we call it 'eccentric' since I'm rich enough to afford the luxury of not being called crazy," he said with a roll of his eyes and a grin.
Smiling back at his quip, Pepper went on, "of course not, you will always be needed at SI for R&D, but, aren't you ready to retire Iron Man? At least from the Avengers? You've given ENOUGH, you've more than paid for your past, Tony..." Pepper whispered the last of her speech, desperately wanting him to stop the madness that was going to kill him.
With a deep sigh, Tony slowly nodded, eyes downcast. Softly, he replied, "Yeah..."
The world of hurt and shame, the excruciating loss or Peter, of Sam, of Strange...He hadn't even heard yet about Barton's entire family, gone...It was clear in his expressive dark eyes. The unnatural shine of unshed tears, and the quirk to his lips, the trying so hard not to break down...He didn't deserve this. Not this. But Pepper was powerless to do more than just try to support him as best she could.
Continuing forward, because there really wasn't any other choice, Pepper forged ahead. "Tony, I know this is hard, but, you've done all you needed to do with Iron Man. You've found the weapons the bad guys had, you've saved SO MANY PEOPLE, don't you think it's time to...to rest? Don't you deserve a break, too? A second chance?" Pepper was pleading now, and she leaned over the bed, pulling him into an embrace and squeezing as tightly as she felt was safe with his still frail body.
She felt, more than heard, the hitch of his breathing, and she felt the wetness on her shoulder; the way his arms slowly snaked up around her body, pulling her in even closer.
They remained in that embrace for several minutes, Tony finally able to start mourning for all that was lost, finally safe there in Pepper's arms.
Finally feeling his breathing even out, and hearing his muffled snuffling as he pulled his head back slightly to look at her, she eased off the hug as well.
His eyes were huge in his too thin face, even behind his glasses, and the red rims to his eyes bespoke of the anguish that resided in them. His lips set in a grim line, the brackets around his mouth and the lines near his eyes so much deeper carved that they had been a month, two months, ago...When they were prepping for an imminent wedding...
Something in Pepper broke, in that moment. She couldn't keep it from him, this was the one thing she could think of that might keep him going forward. This one hope, a literal dream from before the world ended, carried through, and, with luck, brought to fruition in an uncertain future.
Looking down at her hands, twirling her engagement ring around her finger slowly, Pepper sat back down in the chair next to the bed, and cleared her throat.
"Tony..." But she hesitated, it was still early days, but the OB had assured her that things should be fine, the baby's heartbeat was strong, even with her "advanced maternal age" she had a high likelihood of a normal, healthy pregnancy...But there were always risks, early on, that's why parent's didn't usually tell family until the 3 month mark. But, this was TONY, the father, he...he deserved to know.
Tony's eyes were growing wider, his anxiety clearly mounting, and with a tremble in his hands he was reaching out for her, clearly afraid of some new terrible thing she was going to tell him.
Pepper, hurrying to allay his fears, smiled softly, even as a couple of tears escaped her eyes. "Tony, you, you know that dream you had, you told me about it, in the park, right before Dr. Strange..." Her voice trailed off into a murmur, as she saw the confusion, then the dawning of understanding in his expression. He had always been a quick study.
Looking at her with a wary gaze, Tony paused a moment, trying to find words.
"Pepper, is, are--are you, are we--" Pepper, a bright smile now on her face, nodded to him, almost afraid to put it into words, as if by putting the phrase into reality the world might shift and swallow them both.
Tony's gaze turned briefly inward, as if assessing, before quickly focusing back on Pepper, and he reached out with both hands to cup her face, leaning forward to kiss her softly, sweetly, and very tenderly.
"Oh, oh, Pepper..." He murmured against her lips, the bristle of his mustache rough against her face, but she loved it, treasured that feeling now more than ever.
Finally breaking off the kiss, Tony leaned back into his pillows, but he still kept a hand on Pepper's arm, gliding his hand down her forearm until he was able to intertwine his fingers into her own. Never breaking eye contact, his smile widening in clear wonder, before he started laughing, a full, rich, *real* laugh, without pain or sadness or longing.
Pepper, reveling in the longed-for mirth, felt her own smile widening in pleasure.
"So, are you okay with being a stay-at-home Daddy? I think we can find ways to keep you busy," Pepper asked, wry humor clear in her tone.
Nodding firmly, Tony replied, "Yes dear, I think I can definitely find ways to occupy...us.
AN: Reviews are bread and butter for a writer, if you enjoyed this, or have criticsms, please take a moment to review. And if you have anything you'd like to see happen in this little alternate universe I'm playing in, let me know! Plot bunnies love to share the toast and jam, too.
- RB