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Flashing lights bombard Lucy’s eyes, the constant shutter of a camera resonating through the room. Click. Click click. Ca-lick. Shot after shot is taken as Lucy moves, hips naturally falling to the side and her arm resting over her head as she settles into a new pose.
“Lookin’ good, Lucy!” The photographer yells from behind the camera, her voice laced with excitement. “Just a few more and you’ll be done for today.”
With trained grace, Lucy swings one leg over the other and leans forward, eyes sultry and heavy as she gazed at some imaginary point in the room, perfect for the camera.
A series of shutters flash, the incessant noise of the camera just white-noise to Lucy.
“That’s it! That’s the shot everyone!” A series of cheers and applause break through the studio, one that Lucy participates in as a robe is draped over her shoulders and a water is strung into her hands. “Great work again, Lucy–!” The photographer saunters over, a young girl around Lucy’s age with bright, green eyes. “You’ve been a real pro recently! It’s been amazing to see you flourish.”
Lucy smiles, one that she’s perfected over the past year, and shakes her head. Blonde hair sways softly at the motion, curled strands shimmering under the amber hues of the studio. “No, no, I should be thanking you for being so patient with me these past few months. You taught me a lot!”
The photographer giggled before handing Lucy a small card, her professional details displayed in easy-to-read letters. “It’s a shame this is your last shoot for a while, but when you’re ready for more just give me a call.” A soft smile is aimed at Lucy before the girl is running away to catch up with the editor. “See ya next time, Lucy!” She turns once to wave before the duo leaves.
“Hah…” Lucy lets out a deep breath, her shoulders falling as she attempts to relax. She didn’t mind modeling, in fact she’s grown to love it quite a bit, but every now and then she wondered if this was really what she was meant to do. The fast-paced environment kept her mind busy, it stopped Lucy from wordlessly pacing around her apartment as she bit her nails into painful nubs. Working meant Lucy didn’t need to think about life, she just had to focus on work, work, work, and more work.
Lucy keeps her thoughts to herself as she walks to the changing room, humming a light melody as she coasts along, all before sliding behind a curtain as she strips off the outfit from this week's shoot. It was a beautiful dress, one that Lucy adored the style and feel of: dark blue fabric with sprinklings of gold and silver, one that screamed celestial night sky. It hugged her figure with its silky smooth fabric, carefully draping over the swell of her breasts and dancing off the dip of her hips, a long slit accentuating her legs. In truth, it suited the blonde tremendously, and even Lucy had taken a moment to appreciate the view in the mirror, but somehow, despite how good she knew she looked, it just wasn’t the same as her old guild outfits. Extravagant and beautiful outfits were nice, and though mildly reminiscent of her childhood, Lucy found herself enjoying them to some degree. Yet, the appeal of fighting-friendly outfits was one she missed dearly; her short skirts and crop tops hidden away in some storage bin in her apartment, likely covered with a layer of dust.
When she came to Crocus, Lucy decided to change; to shed herself of the girl that was so painfully lost–and this meant changing her style. Lucy lost her short bottoms and colorful tight tops, moving towards soft, long dresses and flowy fabrics, or even linen pants and cotton shirts.
“Well,” Lucy mumbled to herself, eyes focused on the last tie of her boots before standing all the way up. Her bag slings over her shoulder, celestial keys secured on her hip ring. “Might as well head home.”
Home, of course, was subjective. Right now, home meant the bustling streets of Crocus. Busy stores and even busier people, a city that never rested until dusk hit. Home means Crocus, it had to mean Crocus. After Fairy Tail’s disbandment, Lucy needed something new, something fresh. Something that wasn’t tied to a family she once had–something with no strings attached. Which, oddly enough, there were some strings attached in Crocus, but it seemed the name 'Lucy Heartfilia of Fairy Tail' no longer held any merit after the guild fizzled away like the embers of a man who walked out from her life.
Honestly, Lucy tried to not be bitter, truly she did, but a grief settled so deep within her bones that it transformed her into someone she hardly recognized. Bitterness was just the tip of the iceburg for Lucy
Photoshoot after photoshoot did little to quell her imposter syndrome, rather, it only seemed to add fuel to the fire. Every spread that came out only seemed to amplify the blonde discomfort towards herself, eyes dazed and clouded whenever she looked in the mirror.
“Even after all this time…” Lucy muttered under her breath as she unlocked her apartment door, eyes downcast as she passed her threshold. “I still can’t seem to forget them.”
Brown eyes settle upon her space, gazing over spreads attached to her wall from all her previous shoots, landing on one in particular closest to her closet.
“I remember this one.” Lucy’s tone was reminiscent with layers of sadness underneath. Her feet slowly swept across the floor until her fingers could trace the outline of her figure in the photo. “My first photoshoot...I was so nervous.” A wet chuckle fell past her lips, eyes glued to Fairy Tail’s mark on her right hand. The same hand Natsu had grabbed a million times over.
The same hand that has been cold for the past year.
Has it already been a year?
A year since Natsu left the letter, stating he was going training and would just…see her later. A year since everyone had gone their separate ways. A year since Lucy shifted onto a new path–one she was still unsure about.
“Time has really passed…I don’t even have the energy to make a lighthearted joke anymore.” Her statement echoes in the apartment, silence kissing every corner and dousing her entire being in a bittersweet melancholy. “I swear it still feels like yesterday when Natsu was dragging me through Hargeon.”
Her laugh is solemn and wet, no where near as joyful as it had once been. Too many painful days and weeks have passed, seconds that turned into hours allowing her grief to take root deep inside her bones, ridding her of her previous spark as a nasty flower of despair grew within her.
“I wonder if they’d even recognize me now…” she trails off as she slips into bed, eyes staring out the window near her bed. It reminds Lucy of her old apartment, and sometimes it was nice having a hint of nostalgia hanging around. Even if it meant every now and then she swore Natsu would come barreling through her window.
“Probably not.” Her words echo endlessly beside her as the night coaxes Lucy off to sleep, the exhaustion of the day laying heavily over her body as yet another night of fear-driven dreams followed her every step.
~~
It had been two months since Lucy did her last magazine spread, the images making real waves in Fiore, and Lucy saw photos of herself almost everywhere she went. Hung up on walls and stadiums, newspaper stands and in peoples’ hands. Her photoshoot shot her popularity straight through the roof, incidentally making the name Lucy Heartfilia a house-hold token without being tied to Fairy Tail.
“Ms. Lucy!” A voice rang out from the crowd, a younger girl with short blonde hair and big eyes that sparkled like melted umber. A carbon copy of Lucy when she was barely a teen. “Can you please sign this? I want to be just like you when I grow up!” The young teen unraveled the poster that was nestled in her arms, holding it out expectantly to Lucy, hope-filled eyes blinking up at the older blonde.
“Of course, I’d love to.” Lucy kneeled down slightly as she grabbed the pen, clicking the inky contraption to life before scribbling down whatever dream-inspiring phrase she could think of. “So, you want to be a model?” Lucy capped the pen, eyes staring even with the young teen. The mop of blonde hair sways haphazardly as she shakes her head, a toothy grin wide over her face.
“No, not a model, silly!” Lucy arches a brow in mild shock. “I want to be a Fairy Tail wizard, just like you!”
The air stills in Lucy’s chest, the blood frozen in her veins. A Fairy Tail wizard. She hasn’t heard that in so long; hasn’t considered herself a wizard in so long.
“A-ah, of course.” Lucy stutters as she tries to ground herself. Her hands definitely weren’t shaking. “Do you have a type of magic already?”
“I do, I do! Look–” a small fireball emerged in front of both of them, an aura of warmth instantly cascading over Lucy. “-I’ve got fire magic, just like Mr. Natsu!”
Lucy blinks once. Then twice. Begging her body to just exist, to not freak out and ruin this girl’s day. She blinks three times more and then exhales, forcing a smile to paint over her lips.
“Yeah, it’s a lot like Natsu’s.” His name rolls off her tongue with ease, just as it always had, but now it carried a different weight. A weight of confusion, of something that was foreign and unknown to her.
“Well, I would hope so!” The blonde girl was suddenly pointing behind her, towards a food stall with a small crowd surrounding it. “He gave me some pointers not too long ago–”
The girl continued talking animatedly about her small training session with Natsu, but Lucy could no longer hear a single word. Her ears rang, pure static vibration rumbling through her as her eyes narrowed in on messy pink hair and tanned skin.
“Is that so?” Lucy responds slowly, body rising with every word, feet automatically taking a step backwards. She couldn’t let him see her. “I’m proud of you, but I’m so sorry, I gotta run–!” The sentence breezes past her lips as she’s turning on her heel to make a break for it, but not before she meets the gaze of the man she couldn't dare see.
Everything slows down in that moment, as if everyone either disappeared or froze to allow Natsu’s and Lucy’s eyes to hold their gaze. She can see the gears turning in his head, churning and clanking as he scans Lucy’s body from afar, his mouth opening just slightly as he smacks a fist into one hand, eyebrows high.
“Shit–!” Lucy hissed, feet running the opposite direction of the fire dragon. She knew she couldn’t outrun him, never had been able to even beforehand, but she had to get away. Lucy couldn’t see him yet, not like this.
She wasn't ready.
“Wait–Lucy! Wait up!” The sound of Natsu’s voice shocks Lucy to her core, it’s comforting warmth begging her to stop and turn around.
She kept running.
Boots pound against the cobblestone ground, each thump and press forcing Lucy through the crowd of people. Her heart beats strongly against her chest, blood rushing in her ears; Lucy wouldn’t even be sure if she was still breathing if it wasn’t for her harsh, uneven pants .
‘I just have to get home…!’
Lucy repeated the thought like a mantra. The concept of home, her apartment in Crocus, pulverizing her mind. Her window. Her pictures. The view of the city. The annoying tea kettle that rarely worked. The key ring for her celestial spirit keys. The comforter she brought from Strawberry street. Home. Home. Home.
Lucy’s home.
The guildhall’s entrance floated through her mind, the wooden frames and beams they rebuilt time after time, no matter how many times they got beat down or destroyed. The guildhall that was filled with friends who were more like family, smiles and tears shared no matter who was involved because they were family. The familiar faces of Erza and Gray laughing at the table, Wendy smiling while Carla rested on her lap as Happy handed over his fish, and Natsu roaring loudly in either laughter or an attempt to pick a fight.
Natsu.
Lucy stopped dead in her tracks, body coming to a complete halt.
“-took you long enough, Luce!” Natsu was right behind her, a warm hand curling around her forearm. It trembled in his hold. “Wai–Lucy? Why are you shakin’?”
Words fall short in that moment, Lucy’s mouth closing and falling open as she struggles to speak. She refused to turn around, to look at the man behind her; it might be Natsu, but she was still mad at him. Livid. Angry. Betrayed. Forgotten. Heartbroken. She felt it all, every possible emotion seemed to bombard Lucy–she was beyond overwhelmed, body tingling from the sheer strength of emotions that flowed through her.
“Lucy…?” Natsu asked again, this time slower, more deliberate. His head peeked over her shoulder, eyes squinted as he observed shiny, fat tears rolling down her cheeks. “Did you get hurt, why’re ya cryin’, Luce?”
A huff bullied its way out of Lucy, eyes rolling harder than she meant as she wiped her eyes with the back of her right hand. “You don’t get to ask me that.” Her words were flat, heavy and angled as she spat them out, eyes still glossy as she regarded the fire dragon that now stood in front of her.
He looked…different? Yet, of course, some things never changed. His hair still pink and all over the place, dark eyes that could pierce you in place if he tried, tanned skin rippling over muscles. Yet, things were different. Natsu’s hair was longer and shaggy, new scars littered his forearms, muscles larger and more defined. This was a Natsu who was different. A Natsu that lived a year without Lucy, experiencing life in ways she’ll never be able to relate to–a Natsu that wasn’t hers.
“I mean, we’re friends aren’t we?” Natsu tilts his head in confusion, messy pink hair falling off to the side.
“Friends?” Her voice was sharp, higher than normal. Pained. “That’s some word to use.” Lucy sighed as she pulled her arm from his grip, hugging it towards her chest as she turned to move away from him. He followed behind her, just one pace back and to her right.
“But we are, Luce. Friends ask each other things, don’t they?” His hands were stuffed in his pockets as he walked, head pointed towards the sky as he fell into a smooth pace. “So, yeah. I’m gonna ask why’re you cryin’ when I see tears on your face.”
Lucy doesn’t respond for a moment, just focusing on the passing buildings and streets as she leads them towards her apartment. She wasn’t even sure why she was bringing Natsu, but her heart yearned for him in ways she wished she could smother, but having him so close to her now meant Lucy was at her wits end. Even if she was mad, she couldn't help but miss him, too.
“Friends don’t disappear for over a year with no contact, Natsu.” Lucy entered her apartment building, feet trailing up three flights of stairs before finally exiting into an empty hallway. Their footsteps are the only sound, reverberating off the few doors that littered the top level of the small complex. Lucy walks with little purpose, her steps slowing to a complete stop once they stand at her door. Her hands stilled near the doorknob, fingers ghosting over the metallic mechanism. Her gaze was laser-focused on her hand–her right hand–that hovered just above the handle. She couldn’t bring herself to look at him.
“Hey, that’s not fair. I left you a note–”
“Yeah, that stupid, fucking note!” Lucy hissed out, eyes bitter daggers that drilled straight into Natsu’s soul. “You wrote one sentence, Natsu. One sentence. It wasn’t even a proper goodbye.” Lucy unlocked her door despite herself, knowing the dragon would just follow her inside.
He did.
“Close the door behind you.” Lucy muttered, knowing Natsu would still hear her as she shuffled off towards the kitchen. She grabbed two cups and a pitcher from her fridge, filling it with sparkling, strawberry lemonade.
Natsu wandered towards the celestial mage after closing the door, body tense as he slumped into a bar stool. He watched her every move, dark eyes narrowed and divisive, like a predator stalking their meal.
“Here, try this.” Lucy pushed the cup to him, watching silently as he took a small sip before placing it back down–not a single word.
The air was heavy around them, growing thicker with tension and unspoken words. Natsu’s expression hardened, lips pressed into a tight line as his eyebrows furrowed. He ruminated over Lucy’s words from earlier, replaying every syllable in his head until all he could feel was Lucy’s agony twisting into her being. His eyes darkened at the realization, a glaze casting over his piercing look. A low growl rumbled through his chest as he pulled himself up from the stool, stalking his way to the counter where Lucy stood.
“Natsu?” Her voice barely came out, eyes scanning over the fire dragon’s face as he approached. “What’s wrong?”
Lucy backed up with each step he took, the gap never getting bigger between them, and her efforts were squashed as soon as she felt her lower back hit the kitchen counter. Her heart skipped a beat in her chest, a staggered gasp slipping past her lips. He zeroed in on her just as fast, his body heat and presence breaching her personal space in a blink of the eye.
“-yer mad at me.” Natsu grumbled, one hand landing softly beside Lucy’s head and the other pressing into the counter, boxing Lucy in. Natsu was staring straight into Lucy’s eyes, his gaze fierce and unwavering, Lucy’s nervous and skittish.
“Is that a question?” Lucy muttered, tone combatitive. Brown eyes dart to her right, aiming to look at anything that wasn’t the dragonslayer.
“A statement.” Natsu hit back just as fast, head leaning in further until his forehead was brushing against her own. “Why are you mad?”
Lucy fisted her hands, nails digging into her palms. Her shoulders tensed, body rigid and unwelcoming. She let out a shaky breath before forcing her daggered gaze upwards, index finger poking into Natsu’s chest.
“You really don't get it, do you?” Lucy pushed into him, not harsh enough to move him but enough to accentuate her anger. “Why don’t you get it?”
“Me?” Natsu hissed back, arm bending as he leaned further into Lucy’s space. Their faces were close, breath intermingling as they glared at each other. “You’re the one who literally ran away from me!”
“Excuse me for being shocked!” Lucy bit back, her hand now pointing towards herself. “I wasn’t planning to see a ghost today.”
“Who’re you callin’ a ghost?” Natsu grumbled, the hand on the counter now slipping around Lucy’s wrist, holding it tightly in his hand, but never enough to hurt her. Just enough to feel. “A ghost can’t touch you like this, Luce.”
Lucy lets out an aggravated sigh, shoulders haunching as she attempts to rip her arm out of Natsu’s grasp. His hold only tightens as she wiggles, her movements becoming more jagged and severe as she tries to get away from his imposing nature, away from the eyes that are tearing down wall after wall she so carefully built up.
“Natsu–” Lucy spat out as she tried to yank her arm out again. Another failed attempt. This time he grabbed both her arms. “Let. Me. Go.”
“No.” He growled at her, now holding her arms up beside her head, his grip strong but not bruising. “You need to calm down, Luce.”
The blonde stopped at that, body almost falling limp in shock at the words, all before heating up with renowned anger.
“Don’t you dare tell me to calm down–!” Lucy thrashed her arms again, head whipping slightly as she failed to wiggle free again. Her leg juts forward in a last ditch attempt to force Natsu away, but he just brushes her leg aside with his own, pinning the obstructive limb to the cabinet.
“Lucy.” He spoke her name as if she were a wildfire.
“N-no, don’t say my name like that.” Lucy hissed, voice choking slightly in her throat.
“Lucy.” Natsu tilted his head forward again, pressing his forehead against Lucy’s. She refused to look at him even as his piercing gaze ripped through her soul.
“Let me go, please,” Lucy’s lips tremble as she speaks, eyes glossy and wet as she tries another futile attempt to pull her arm away. “Natsu, please.”
“Luce.” Natsu slips a hand to Lucy’s cheek, thumb wiping away as fresh tears drip from her eyes.
“Please…” Lucy felt her knees give out beneath her, her body almost collapsing to the floor if not for the strong arm that wrapped around her waist. Natsu guides her down slowly until her legs slump beneath her, cushioning her just the slightest against the cold, unforgiving marble. “Please, let me go.”
“I can’t, Lucy.” Natsu whispers in her ear, uncharacteristically soft. “Not when you’re like this.”
A sob wrecks through Lucy’s body, core shaking as a choked cry weaves past her lips. Tears fell down fast, a dam originating from Lucy's broken and confused heart. “I can’t…” Lucy cries into her hands, sobs muffled by the chest pressed into her, his heartbeat melting away her icy exterior. “I wasn’t ready. Not yet.” His arms tighten around Lucy, head resting atop of hers as she breaks down in front of him.
“I t-tried to pre-prepare myself for this,” Lucy’s words were mumbled, hands clutched into the soft fabric of Natsu’s shirt. “For you–” Lucy took a deep breath, hands trembling as she clung to him. “-but I wasn’t ready. It hurts so bad, Natsu.”
The fire dragon doesn’t speak, just tightens his hold on Lucy with one arm as he draws senseless circles into her back with the other. Natsu didn’t know what to say, what words could possibly settle the sobbing blonde in his chest as her walls all but collapsed around her–but if his words failed him as vocabulary often did, he always knew his actions spoke even louder volumes. He nuzzled his head into her hair, inhaling the soft fragrance of pure Lucy, and mindlessly pressed his lips to the crown of her head.
Lucy stilled at the pressure, sobs suddenly frozen in her chest as her mind worked circles around what was happening.
“Nat-su?” Her voice was low, soft and barely audible. She blinked up at him through long, wet lashes, the dark strands clumping together with unshed tears as she stared into the dark depths of the fire dragon.
“Hmm…calmer now?” Natsu pressed his fingers into the small of her back, allowing his warmth to flow through every inch of his skin. She sighs into his touch, her head falling to rest on his shoulder, breathing in the comforting scent of campfires and midnight skies.
“...maybe.” Lucy whispers, lips ghosting over the crook of his neck. She breathes in, eyes closing as she lets it wash over her, allows Natsu to embed himself into her being all over again.
“So?” Natsu questioned, pulling back just the slightest to look at Lucy. Her cheeks were flushed and wet, eyes swollen and glossy, her hair just another whiplash-moment away from being messy. Yet, this was his Lucy, and it was exactly what he wanted to see.
“Hmm?” She doesn’t bother answering, content in sitting in Natsu’s lap with his arms wrapped tightly around her.
Natsu chuckles lightly, finger poking into her soft cheek and forcing out a goofy puff of air. “Do you forgive me?”
Lucy pouts her lips, head shaking softly. “I don’t know yet.” Natsu would almost believe her if it weren’t for her gentle smile. “Maybe ask me again tomorrow morning.”
“Oo-ooh, so you wanna see me again–!” Natsu teased lightly, scooping his arms under Lucy’s legs before suddenly lifting them both off the ground with ease.
“Wai–it! At least warn me first!” Lucy yelps as she wraps her arms around Natsu’s neck, cheeks pink as he carries her to her living room. He goes to set her down on the couch, hands still pressed under her soft skin, eyes drinking in her flustered form, before finally peeling Lucy off him and sitting down beside her.
“It’s more fun this way, dontcha think?” Natsu laughs, full-hearted and loud, his signature toothy grin on display for Lucy to see.
She was so screwed.
“Possibly,” Lucy grumbled to herself, head turned away from Natsu as he leaned back lazily against her couch, already making himself at home by propping up one leg and letting the other sit on her coffee table. “You made yourself comfortable real fast, huh.”
“Lucy’s home is always comfortable, no matter where it is.” Natsu peered at Lucy as he spoke, one hand poking her upper arm. “C’mon, look at me, Luce.” He poked her again, and Lucy turned herself around even more, her back fully facing Natsu now.
“Don’t feel like it.” Lucy huffed in an attempt to hold her ground, but her voice was the most vibrant that it has been since Fairy Tail disbanded, and even she took note of the difference.
Natsu poked her again, this time jabbing her waist where she was most sensitive. “Hey–!” Lucy squealed, hands flying to her waist. “That’s cheating! You’re a total cheater, Natsu!” She turned around so quickly, mind only registering what she was doing until it was too late, and found herself face-to-face with a smirking dragon.
“Gotcha.” Natsu smiled, endlessly easy and carefree. “You fell for it so fast.” He slips both arms back around Lucy’s waist before she could turn back around–and try she did–all before getting pulled forward until she was hovering over Natsu’s body.
“Since when did you get so touchy?” Lucy questioned, mind barely comprehending what was going on. This Natsu was massively different.
“Eh, who knows.” Natsu smiles at her, one that shot straight into her heart. “Maybe it happened recently.”
“Uh, huh.” Lucy blinks down at him, her hair cascading down around them like a golden river protecting them from everything that was wrong. “It’s kinda nice. New. Different.”
“Different isn’t bad, right?” Natsu laughs softly, but there’s a layer beneath it that Lucy catches.
“No, it’s not bad.” Lucy sets her weight down on his lap, her hands playing with the messy pink curls around his neck. “Like I said, it’s kinda nice.”
Natsu hums as Lucy plays with his hair, his own hands dancing across her back. Their words fell silent for a moment, just two people finding their ways back into the other’s life. Lucy knew it wouldn’t be this easy, that they’d really need to have an actual conversation, but being in his embrace again settled an age old grief in a matter of moments. Natsu managed to disperse the darkest corners of her mind, burning away the ash of former regrets and fears with just a smile and touch, something no one else has ever been able to do.
“Natsu?” Lucy whispered, eyes trained on the fire dragon’s face. He tilts his head just the slightest, eyes shimmering in the mid-afternoon sunlight that scattered across her room.
“Yeah, Luce?” He tucked a piece of hair behind her ear, hand lingering just a moment on her cheek before falling back to her waist.
“Welcome home.”