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It was stupid.
Stupid and irrational and unnecessary. And desperate. Clingy. Overbearing.
A complete overstep.
And yet he had done it anyway.
He didn’t even know why.
He couldn’t even remember what he had originally gone into that store for, just that he had ended up glaring at the display of fluffy blankets for far too long. He hadn’t meant to reach out and touch them, his fingers sinking into the soft warm material. He hadn’t meant to dig through the display until he found one in the perfect bright red or buy it or take it home and wash it with his detergent so it would carry some of his scent. And he definitely hadn’t meant to carefully fold it and tuck it into his backpack when he went over to Yamada’s house.
And now here he was, standing at his front door, unable to knock, but unable to leave either. It was stupid.
He was stupid.
The door opened and Shouta was stuck, frozen, faced with Yamada’s aunt and no reasonable explanation for why he was lurking in front of her house.
“I was wondering who was out here,” she gave him a warm smile, similar to Yamada’s, “You’re Hiza’s friend. Aizawa, right?”
He nodded, throat suddenly too dry to even open his mouth, let alone speak.
“Did you come to check on him? Why don’t you come in?” she stepped back from the door, giving him space to enter.
His feet stayed planted. He shook his head, his hair falling into his face. He swallowed, mouth still uncomfortable as he spoke, “I just wanted to drop off some notes from class this week. I know he doesn’t like missing school.”
Her shoulders relaxed and her smile softened a little. “That’s very kind of you, Aizawa. You can take them up to him, if you’d like.”
Shouta swayed on his feet, hesitating.
It was stupid.
Stupid and reckless and ill-advised.
Hizashi had been out of school for his heat for three days. And Shouta was an alpha. Statistically speaking, Hizashi was likely mostly through his heat by now. To the point where he was just laying around, bored. It was why Shouta had waited until now to bring his notes over.
He didn’t want to impose while Hizashi was still…indisposed. But he didn’t know the details of how Hizashi’s heat played out. For all he knew, Hizashi was still in the middle of it.
But then why would his aunt invite him in?
It was stupid.
Shouta took a step inside anyway, stepping out of his shoes as he did.
He bowed his head to Hizashi’s aunt, “Thank you for your hospitality.”
“You remember where Hiza’s room is?” Shouta nodded. “Go on, then. I’m sure he’ll be happy to see someone other than us.”
Shouta tried not to look back, even though he could feel her eyes on him as he went up the stairs. He felt like he was sneaking into something he wasn't supposed to, even though he’d been given permission.
Hizashi’s door was half open, music drifting through. He could see Hizashi’s bed. Hizashi himself stretched out with his head hanging off the side, staring at something on the opposite wall. Shouta hesitated again, unsure if he should knock or just leave everything he brought and call it a loss.
He was so stupid.
Stupid and weird. And lurking in Yamada’s door like some kind of creepy stalker.
Yamada must have realized he was being watched, because he glanced towards the door to see him there. He scrambled upright, but rather than being angry or upset, he grinned, tripping over his own feet as he rushed to throw the door fully open.
“Shouta! What are you doing here?” Hizashi reached for him, but stopped himself before throwing his arms around him.
Shouta could smell his citrusy scent. Stronger and sweeter and spicier than usual.
“Sorry.” he said, “Your aunt let me in. I just wanted to bring you notes from school this week.”
Hizashi smiled, “Thanks. I appreciate that. I’ll be back on monday, so it’ll be nice to still be on track.”
Shouta nodded, then dropped his backpack on the floor before crouching next to it to dig through and find the folder he had carefully packed. Hizashi knelt next to him, watching. Shouta was painfully aware that despite being centimeters away, Hizashi was still safely inside the boundaries of his bedroom while Shouta was in the hall.
Shouta handed him the folder, trying to avoid looking at him.
Hizashi leaned closer, trying to see around Shouta’s hair, “Is that all?”
“No.” Shouta admitted, barely opening his mouth to speak. “I brought you some snacks too.” He pulled those out too, chips and chocolate bars. Junk food that omegas stereotypically craved while in heat, even though it was bad for them. They were Hizashi’s favorites anyway.
“That was sweet of you,” Hizashi gathered them all before he nodded towards the backpack again, “What’s that?”
Shouta looked down to see the stripe of red fabric.
It was stupid.
He couldn’t stop himself from reaching to pull it out, resolutely not looking at him as he handed it to Hizashi.
He was so stupid.
“It’s a gift.” he mumbled.
Hizashi’s eyes never left it as he set the rest of Shouta’s offerings aside before reaching for the blanket, his fingers sinking into the plush material. Shouta glanced at him through the curtain of his hair as Hizashi let it unfold before he brought it up to his face, scenting it and rubbing it against his cheek. A soft rumbling noise came from his chest.
Shouta’s eyes widened as he realized Hizashi was purring.
Shouta lurched to his feet, swinging his backpack onto his shoulder in the same movement. Hizashi’s purr cut off as he looked up at him, startled.
“I should go.” Shouta could feel his blood rushing to his face.
“Okay,” Hizashi hesitated before he nodded, “Thanks. For everything.”
Shouta didn’t wait for Hizashi or his aunts to show him out.
Buying Hizashi nesting materials. A courtship gift. He might as well have screamed his stupid useless crush at Hizashi instead.
It was stupid.
Stupid and hopeless and embarrassing.
Hizashi seemed to appreciate it though.
It was stupid. Stupid and irrational and unnecessary.
The way Hizashi always had to arrange every single pillow and blanket every time he went into heat, needing everything to be perfect. As far as Shouta was concerned, all that was necessary was the nest and Hizashi himself, arrangement be damned.
He wasn’t stupid enough to say that though.
He knew his approval was important to his mate, so instead he sat and watched, Hizashi’s favorite plush red blanket wrapped around his shoulders so it would smell more like him before being tucked into it's place in their nest. Hizashi would glance over his shoulder at him every so often, making sure he was still watching. Still approved.
Shouta didn’t understand it at all, but it was important to his mate, so he participated anyway.
He was stupid.
Stupid and in love and had never been happier in his life.