Chapter Text
"You will cease to exist."
Even through the haze of pain, Derek couldn't help but wonder what Hastur meant by that.
'You will cease to exist.'? What? He sure as hell still existed, even had time to write a final letter. At least… until he was like this…
His head pounded so hard he didn't even feel it anymore. Stomach acid and bile drooled from his mouth as he slid out of his chair. His vision blurred; he could see something vaguely resembling fireworks outside his window.
His fingertips ran icy cold while the rest of his body twitched and convulsed violently. The voice of the King in Yellow was getting louder. Angrier.
Derek was quite pleased to hear it so pissed.
Then again, his brain was literally melting and his nerves were fried.
No wonder he was having a seizure while violently vomiting everything; this place was a biohazard.
Just as Derek slipped from consciousness, even with his infinite knowledge…
He hoped Avery would be alright.
D3rlord3 slowly opened his eyes, groaning a bit as he did so.
At first, he groaned in annoyance, because usually he had college work waiting for him. Then he froze.
Wait.
He was supposed to be dead.
He immediately shot up, glancing around to figure out where he was. His breath stopped again when he recognised where he was.
The mine.
Why was he in front of the mine?
The entrance into the very thing that killed him. The thing that almost killed Avery. Doomed them to fall.
However, more importantly…
The mine was in Minecraft.
How in the world was he in Minecraft?
He looked down to his clothing. Instead of the disgustingly stained hoodie he wore in real life, he was met with heavy gold Spartan armour. The gold shimmered in the sun like nothing was wrong.
Like D3rlord3 wasn't… somehow… weirdly humanoid in damn Minecraft?
How- how was this… This was possible?
Sure, nobody in the world other than Avery knew about Hastur coming back, being in Minecraft… or the world that came with it… but… he never could've imagined he himself being inside the game…
Was he dead? Was this just… his soul connected to this?
Maybe… Probably, actually. He felt weirdly disconnected from his body. Maybe because it wasn't actually his body and just his Minecraft skin. It felt strange…
D3lord3 slowly stood up, golden armour clanking with itself as he did. The armour was heavy on his body, making it difficult to properly stand. He attempted to take off his helmet, but to no avail.
At least he can't get hurt by mobs? It was quite annoying though; it was pretty stuffy inside.
He stared into the mine, all the memories of the flooding his head. He hadn't realised how hard his hand clenched into fists, or how shallow his breathing had become as he stood there frozen.
Every memory flooded back. He was already haunted by them before, but now it suddenly felt like a hammer crushing his skull open.
The first time he went in, creating the doors for strip-mines, getting so many damn ores, only to lose it all to a new hole in the left wall.
Killing the fake Avery, exploring church, writing those signs… waiting for Avery in the library…
Only to immediately lose him again.
Only to lie to him.
Only to fight him.
Only to push him away.
Why did that hit harder than actually seeing Hastur for the first time?
Maybe because he cared more about Avery than himself.
He should've stopped at the gates. Should've never mined that wall. Should've never even built the mine- Hell, he shouldn't have made this world in the first place! He should just-
…
Dammit, D3rlord3, you're shaking.
He took a step back and pried his gaze away.
Only then did he realise how tight his chest had become. He held up his hand to his face, physically blocking the mine from his vision like it'd kill him to look.
Well… It did technically kill him…
He steadied his breathing again—which felt weird because he… isn't supposed to be breathing—and redirected his thoughts away from the spiral.
Instead, as he turned away from the mine, he thought about something that… weirdly enough… didn't hurt anymore:
His mind.
It felt… strange. He had forgotten how it felt like to not have a dying mind. He still had all his knowledge of everything, but instead of it literally destroying his brain, it was just… there. Like a normal memory. Like it wasn't the thing that killed him.
After a few minutes of just standing there, like a strange statue, D3rlord3 came to the conclusion that it was perhaps because he wasn't confined to his physical, human body.
Which was probably the best part of this whole ordeal; he really needed a break from the 'My-mind-is-killing-itself-and-maybe-I-want-it-to' thing.
It all felt so… surreal… D3rlord3 was in Minecraft, wasn't in excruciating pain, and could still move like a human…
Oh. And there wasn't any whisper or scream from Satan Hastur.
That one's probably the actual best benefit.
The sun shining into D3rlord3's eyes snapped him out of his train of thought; Oh… He should get to somewhere safe before it turns night…
He kind of wanted to head to Avery's base, but that was too far. It'd turn night before he could reach there. He could set off tomorrow, he just needed a place to stay for the night. In fact… he needed sleep. He was exhausted, even though he technically just woke up.
Could he technically stay in the mine for the night? Yes…
Will he be found by Hastur in there? Maybe…
Will he probably have a panic attack from the sheer memory of entering and end up not getting any kind of sleep?
Definitely. So no sleeping in the mine of death tonight.
That meant D3rlord3 had to find somewhere else to stay for the night. A cave, maybe? It has ores, and-
…
There were only trees in the last cave D3rlord3 found.
Maybe not a cave.
Oh, he should go to a village. Unlike the village resembling Carcosa, normal villages have… actual people. So maybe he won't be triggered?
D3rlord3 racked his artificial brain for the nearest village and whether he'd make it in time…
"Hm…" he mumbled. The nearest village was just in reach; he'd get there right before sunset came around. It was weird, but normal, at the same time, a day being only 20 minutes.
He was used to playing that. Not living in it, unfortunately. He'd have to get used to it.
The village that was envisioned in his mind had a good amount of hay—and a blacksmith! It felt strange stealing from villages because D3rlord3 knew everything about the villagers themselves; from where they spawn to when they de-spawn.
He decided to brush it off. They're still just Minecraft entities.
D3rlord3's foot moved to face the north, and just like that…
He set off.
It didn't take too long, literally 5 minutes—if you converted real hours to Minecraftian, it'd be about 6 hours, his brain whispered—until he saw the village in sight.
Small village… still useful though.
D3rlord3 step foot inside, only to have to immediately back away as the iron golem charged at him.
"Crap!" D3rlord3 exclaimed, running away and grabbing 3 dirt blocks—all while efficiently dodging the golem's efforts—to pillar up. He pillared up just in time so it couldn't get him.
He stared at the iron golem, who was persisting in order to get him, and froze.
Why in the world was the iron golem attacking him?
He hadn't aggravated the iron golem—so why? It made no sense.
Then he remembered he had literally merged with Hastur, who… technically, could be considered a hostile mob.
"Wow. Insulting," D3rlord3 deadpanned, staring absolute daggers into its eyes. He tried thinking of how to get out of this situation.
Normally, he'd just start punching the golem with his fists, but now, he can actually feel the pain. He sighed.
He ended up watching the golem attempt to kill him for way too long, trying to estimate how risky it'd be if he just made a run for it.
Did he technically already know? Yeah… But that's no fun. He'd rather force himself to not think of his infinite knowledge and find the solution himself rather than rely on the fact that he had the solution for everything.
After all, he was always the build-things-from-scratch-and-puzzle-solve-things guy. Maybe that's where the robotics degree came from.
…Does that mean he doesn't have to think about a career anymore?
He eventually realised he had been sitting there for a full 10 minutes. Whoops. It was basically 3am by Minecraft terms at this point. He decided to just run—surely that's better than sitting here until sunrise. Maybe he'd find something more… productive, to do.
He hit the grass with a soft thud and bolted for the nearest house. It wasn't too hard, the iron golem wasn't as fast as D3rlord3 had thought. He flung the door to the blacksmith open and ran inside.
There was a table, a chair, a window, and the famous chest. D3rlord3 plopped onto the chair and sighed. He always found the interior of the blacksmith quite sad actually—couldn't there be just a little more decoration? Sure, this was technically a workplace, but couldn't they bother to add anything more? And unfortunately for D3lord3, there was no bed.
If he went back out, he'd surely get crushed by the iron golem, who was right outside, ready to crumple him into shreds. So… what to do?
…
Oh wait. He wasn't a player. He didn't need a bed to sleep.
He didn't really mind sleeping on the floor—it was exactly what he'd do in that library. He didn't think he'd need to do it again, but… whatever.
He also didn't think he'd be alive to do it again.
He slowly lowered to the floor, golden armour clanking way too loud for this late at night. Luckily for him, the blacksmith itself wasn't a house, so at least he didn't have a villager roommate. He snuggled against the chair on the cobblestone floor. Cold… but still comfortable. He closed his eyes and attempted to fall sleep. He needed the rest for the journey tomorrow—sort of. He didn't know if it'd be considered 'tomorrow' in real life when he wakes up or not.
But of course, he didn't sleep for a very long time. How convenient.
Spent a good… hour? Hour and a half? Two hours? He didn't know. Didn't want to. All he knew was that he could only think of Avery.
He could see Avery. And goddammit, he looked miserable. Grief does a lot to people—D3rlord3 knew that! But, it hurt… watching Avery crumble over him of all people. Someone who he barely knew. Someone he knew over Minecraft. Someone he shouldn't have had to be involved with. Someone he should've could've left behind.
Someone who wasn't worthy of this kind of love.
He eventually slipped asleep, not because he calmed down, but because his body—even if digital—eventually gave up trying to stay awake. And still, the last thing he thought of was…
Avery.