Work Text:
I feel bad, that you feel bad
About me feeling bad, about you feeling bad
About what I said, about what you said
About me not being able to share a feeling
Remus had already given up on today.
Three friends strolled down the long grassy path, the sun blocking their views to any possible shade: James had a box of ice creams melting in his hands and Lily’s hands were occupied with doughnuts and cookies from the local Sainsbury’s as she tried to cover her eyes to spot a possible place to settle.
Any social battery Remus could grasp was rapidly leaving him.
“I’ll check that weeping willow in the distance” Lily sighed, briskly walking to the far end of the field before breaking into a jog.
Remus and James stared at each other.
“Looks good enough to me” Remus said, whilst he began walking in the direction Lily went. Before he knew it, James had decided to begin sprinting towards the shade Lily had found.
If I thought that what you thought
Was that I hadn't thought about sharing my thoughts
Then my reaction to your reaction, to my reaction
Would have been more revealing
“For fucks sake” an exasperated Remus let out, stumbling over the uneven ground to catch up with James, a heavy satchel weighing him down.
The tree was beautiful. Branches hugged each other as they curled upwards towards the sky in spirals. The coverage of the willow leaves drooped around the trunk, as if fairies had guided Lily to the very spot Remus was now setting a picnic blanket on. Once they were all settled, out came the snacks, the music, the jokes and the laughter. They deserved this break, away from school and with one another.
I was afraid that you'd be afraid
If I told you that I was afraid of intimacy
There were a few mishaps in the next few hours. The ice cream had not received a fate as fortunate as the trio, and the group of friends had to resolve to eating the tasty sludge using a leftover fork Remus had luckily brought (since James was useless at being that organised in the current heat). A bumble bee also stirred up a commotion when James practically jumped into Lily’s lap to avoid the bee from ‘attacking him and nibbling his sushi’. At that moment, James’ greatest love was the salmon crunchy roll and fried crunchy onion he had just bought for their picnic.
If you don't have a problem with my problem
Maybe the problem's simply co-dependency
The bee posed a threat, but fortunately James remembered a wikihow he read about asserting dominance using whale noises. After a few songs, which left Lily grateful no one was close-by and Remus regretting his friendship choices, the bee went away.
Yes, I know, that now you know
That I didn't know, that you didn't know
That when I said "No", I meant "Yes, I know"
And that now I know that you knew, that I knew you adored me
Music blared from Lily’s iPod shuffle, the trios joint playlist accompanying the spread of snacks they were enjoying. James threw grapes in the air, catching them in his mouth, whilst Remus played with the green bug that had found its way into his hair and Lily basked in the sun’s golden rays. James and Lily messed around making edits of a cookie Lily was holding, whilst Remus laid down in the presence of his favourite people.
“What was that song from that film we watched last night that James wouldn’t shut up about?” Remus asked, propping himself up.
“THERAPY!” James screamed, making Lily scared for what was to come.
Remus and James began singing the duet, whilst Lily glanced at the lyrics with Remus on her phone, all enjoying each other’s presence (although Remus made it crystal clear James was still a welcome minor annoyance to not feed into his evergrowing ego).
PLOP!
Silence in the group.
Lily and Remus stared in shock at Lily’s phone, where a smudge of repulsive substance had landed.
“Is that..?” Lily asked perplexed.
“EW THATS FUCKING BIRD SHIT THAT IS” Remus scrambled up looking around at how far the damage had gone. Lily seized her bag which contained wet wipes whilst Remus panicked at the state a once idyllic scene had now turned to.
“Er guys..” James said, gaining attention of his two close friends, as he raised a curl of hair which had a caramel-coloured weird mixture intertwined in it. Disgusted, Remus reached for his pocket for a tissue, when he saw it: a massive droplet of the same poo had somehow landed on his jorts.
The three of them had been targeted.
The battle had commenced.
I'm not mad, that you got mad, when I got mad
When you said I should go drop dead
They all sprung up, Lily offering hand sanitiser to James to somewhat clean his hair temporarily and Remus wiping all the drops of faeces which had bombarded him.
If I were you and I'd done what I'd done
I'd do what you did
“MY PICNIC BLANKET!!!” Remus wailed, as he saw the fat splodge of shit which had landed in the corner of the blanket, just behind where James (who was now vlogging the entire incident on Lily’s phone) had been sitting. Remus scrubbed the poo off as best as he could with a wet wipe, but it was no use: the enemy had made its mark.
I thought (if I thought that what you thought)
You thought (was that I hadn't thought about sharing my thoughts)
James began to sing in the distance.
“I feel bad, that you feel bad about me feeling bad, about you feeliAHHHHH”
Remus chased him around, screaming to stop singing, given the song had brought disaster upon all three of the friends. However, he couldn’t stay mad at James for long, for his distress in the situation overpowered his need to shut James up once and for all.
I reacted shallowly (then my reaction to your reaction, to my reaction)
Sighing, Remus returned to help Lily who was quickly shoving any and all rubbish into a spare plastic bag to throw away, so the trio could evacuate the scene of the crime. She went to join James, to update the vlog on the progress in clearing the area, when Remus heard it.
At first Remus wasn't sure, because his friends weren’t exactly the quietest of people. But then he was sure: a second wave of poo bombings had occurred.
When I reacted to you (would have been more revealing)
He shrieked, concerned he was the next victim.
They all ran, trying to save themselves from the bird’s malice.
Finally, when the coast was clear, they approached the doughnut box which was in the region of peril. An oozing dark liquid containing cherry stones lined the remaining unfortunate doughnut, like an unwelcome chocolate spread.
They were further affirmed of the danger the bird in the tree posed.
But now it's out in the open
Now it's off our chest
Now it's 4 a.m.
And we have therapy tomorrow
Fleeing across the long grass hill, they sprinted, even if Remus was trailing the picnic blanket behind him and Lily and James were carrying a heavy load of supplies.
It's too late to screw
Their exodus saved them from an even worse pooey encounter, which a bird in the field was obviously determined to provide.
So let's just get some rest
In unison, they concluded to leave their once-comforting lunch behind them and return, traumatised, back to their houses, where they would have to shower and ponder on the day’s events.