Chapter Text
He's minding his own business working away on another trap design, trying to get all the redstone in the right place but it's annoyingly tricky. The active redstone is making the room warmer than it should be, his hoodie isn't helping much either, big and heavy. The barely to no sleep he's gotten in, he doesn't even know how long doesn't help either. It's worsening everything else, making his finer motor skills worse, therefore making it harder to get the redstone right, it's a horrible circle.
He would wipe the sweat of his forehead but his hands are covered in the dust, he wouldn't want to smear all of that on his face, especially not his hoodie. So he keeps working away in the heat trying to get it just right, this has to be perfect, it has to be.
He's so focused he only hears the footsteps of another player when they're already too close for him to try defend himself. The closer the person gets the more Jude knows there's no threat to them, they're not even trying to hide the sound they make, so he continues working away.
"Y'know you're a hard one to find when you're this deep in a trap" Parker says leaning against the cave walls, Judes not paying him much mind, he probably just wants some OP gear, he did get a really nice kill on Sharpness earlier. Just thinking about it makes him smile slightly.
Jude's gives him a casual hum back, waiting for Parker to ask for what he wants. The redstone is almost coming into place, just a little bit more and it should be done.
"Soooo, I just wanted to make sure of something, I've been noticing. And like, wanted to check in y'know" He sounds uncomfortable, which catches Judes attention more than the words itself. He shimmers out of his trap, moving to sit on the floor looking up at him, he moves his arm to try and adjust his hood out of the way so he can actually look up at Parker. He's still sweating, it's way too stuffy down here, especially with two people occupying the small space.
"The fuck you on about" He spits more than says, not in the mood for some odd prank or whatever this could be.
"Okay so. You uhm. I'm just gonna- just gonna say it, whenever you're around Sharpness you hide your face more often. And i just wanted to ask-"
"wait wait wait, what? What are you insinuating here" He interrupts, not liking where this is going.
"Nothing nothing! just that like, you obviously have a crush on him and tha-"
"wait, pause stop" He says getting up from the ground to be on eye level with Parker, using the wall for support, his legs are a little shakey with not being used in so long. "What the fuck are you saying"
"Okay so, if you let me speak I'd tell you, just hear me out okay?" He asks putting his hands up in surrender, Jude nods at him, this better start making sense soon or he's killing Parker on sight.
"Okay so, I've been noticing lately, that whenever Sharpness comes by you like sink further into your hood- okay okay let me continue. Like you'd be talking freely with us and boom Sharpness is here and you're like a turtle"
It's a lot to take in especially with how his mind can only focus on the word "crush", Parker didn't explain why the fuck that was relevant, and just to be clear he doesn't not have a crush on Sharpness, no matter how much Tai wants him too.
"Yea okay, what does this have to do with crushes? And like, so what?" He asks, clearly annoyed, crossing his arms. So what if he's a little more, protective of himself when Sharpness is around, he just doesn't want him to read him and stuff. It has nothing to do with the way he looks or anything, and he doesn't appreciate Parker insinuating so.
"Well yea obviously i know crushes can make you do weird things so y'know-"
"Parker i swear to god if you're on this 'sharplow' shit too I'm never speaking to you again"
"okay okay! shutting up now. I just wanted you to know, that I'm here if you wanna talk, or something"
"Sick. Thanks. Get out" Parker gives him a smile before he runs off to do whatever, probably pester some other poor soul like him again.
Jude sinks down to the ground again, god Parker was so dumb. He crawls back into his trap to try and get the wirering in place again, his hands have a slight shake to them that he chooses to ignore.
Him having a crush on Sharp? That's to laugh at. And apparently said crush is making him, he doesn't even know, insecure about himself? How can one guy be that stupid.
Jude has gotten comfortable with the way he looks a long time ago, he doesn't even remember a time when it bothered him, that's how long ago he stopped caring about it. His acne had gotten worse over time, that's probably because he does shit like this. Sweating away in a cave for hours with layers upon layers of clothing on, but that just what you have to do as a trapper, so he never paid it much mind.
And his overbite, that wasn't even something he could change, bunny hybrid and all that. So it'd be stupid to be insecure about something like that, he had no control over it.
So him hiding his face around Sharpness of all people doesn't even make any sense, it has to be a coincidence. Parker has to be an idiot and that's it.
That's it.
He keeps trying to work but he messes up too many times to count, this isn't productive. Maybe he just needs a break, just a minute to get his head straight. He crawls back out of his traps hole, sitting on the ground for a minute to catch his breathe, when did he lose it?
He breathes deeply in, pulling his legs to his chest, the metal pieces connected to his hood digging into skin. He doesn't hide his face around Sharpness, he doesn't, that'd be stupid. Jude is anything but stupid, this whole server is made out of idiots and he's not one of them.
They literately fall into the most obvious trap out there, he doesn't even have to bait them to do that. Sharpness fell into a trap that wasn't even hidden the other day! That's, that- He's not like that.
But, as he sits here giving himself the space to actually think about it, maybe, just maybe Parker might have been on to something, just maybe! He does seem to recall an instance or two, or more, where he'd sink a little further into his hood around Sharpness.
Jude pulls his knees closer to his chest, but that doesn't prove anything. If anything it kinda makes sense. Jude knows the other members a bit better than he does Sharpness, has gotten comfortable around them, gotten used to them and their own quirks.
And like, it's not everyone on the server that could get a carrier in modelling. Everyone on the server looks like the pretty average person out there, aside from one or two and then boom! There's Sharpness.
Long silk like shiny blond as fuck hair, that flows in the wind like some real life conditioner advertisement. Sometimes he thinks the universe has to be having a laugh with that, the way it just flows perfectly, like all the goddam time. It's a distraction really.
His face is also just, perfect. It's kind of uncanny the way there's not one, not one signaller imperfection on that mans face, it's completely smooth and, well. Probably soft, softer than his that's for sure.
And like, like. What is he thinking about. Sitting here in a small cave on the ground alone, thinking about how pretty Sharpness is, and oh fuck he thinks he's pretty?
Fuck, what is he thinking, Sharpness and pretty? Together? that's, that's-
Fuck, shit. Like actually. Fuck.
This can't be happening, it has to be something, something like, all the sharplow comments getting to his head, breathing in redstone dust for so long. He doesn't actually like Sharpness like that, yea it's just, things are just getting to him today, that's it.
A image of Sharpness face smiling in the sun flashed across his mind, his smile wild and unpredictable, flashing his perfect teeth at him the sun landing on him like a paid actor, and really, the only word out there is to describe such an image is, pretty.
Judes heart beats faster, all the work he did to get his breath back in check is down the drain. God this can't be happening, this really can't be fucking happening.
Him liking Sharpness, like that. That can't be, that can't. Fuck he needs to get out of here, needs to get some fresh air. Maybe it's the redstone dust that's finally fucked his head up.
He stand up on shaky legs, using the walls as support. He stands there forcing his head to stop thinking about Sharpness Conexion.
He pulls himself up and out of the cave, praying he doesn't run into anyone on his way to hide in his bedroom. His face have to be redder than it's ever been, he's already easy to blush. His face feels like it's on fire, his whole body feels like its on fire.
Why him? Of all the people, of all the things that could've happened to him, this, this is too much.
When he gets to his room he immediately goes for the shower, maybe he can wash off all these new feelings, wash Parkers words right of him.
The water feels nice, feeling all the grime and dust run right off his body, but his thoughts still wont leave him. His mind keeps flashing images of Sharpness face, his lean body, and now that he thinks about it that really isn't anything new. He used to just talk it up to liking trapping the guy, liking hearing him scream, beg for his life, and- oh.
Oh. God he's so stupid. He lets his head hit the shower wall with a thud, letting the water run down his body. He's so incredibly dumb, he can't believe Parker was the one making him realise all of this, Parker.
He just stands there for a minute longer, the cold tile against his head is helping with the crisis head having, he takes a deep breath. He has to get over this soon, this will hinder so much on this server. If anyone other than Parker figure this out he'll never have a moment to himself.
He lets his head hit the wall one last time, and then he get out of the shower. Drying himself off he pauses in the mirror. The acne runs down his body, down his chest and he's sure his back is covered in it. He never really paid it much mind, never cared to do anything about it.
It wasn't like anyone was gonna see him shirtless or anything, and really, it didn't bother him. His hair is a mess, dripping water down his face. The spots clear as day with not having anything to hide behind, the bathroom light shining down on him.
He pulls his hand up to trace the worst parts. This is dumb, he can't help but think again. Parkers words of 'crushes makes you do weird things' runs through his mind, and one again Parkers right.
He's never given his looks a second thought, never cared about it, and then boom the prettiest person he's ever seen walks into his life and now it becomes an issue. Now he's started thinking, dumb shit like, 'maybe I'd have a chance if i looked, looked like him, looked different' And really he doesn't have time for stuff like this, doesn't have the energy for shit like this.
But here he stands, tracing stuff he never cared off, looking himself in the mirror longer than he ever has. He breathes out a sigh throwing the towel on the counter. He just needs a little time, then he'd get over this, forget it all. He'll trap Parker, a lot. Maybe that'll make him feel better.
He lays down on his bed, staring up at the ceiling trying to keep his heart at a normal rate. He needs to believe this is dumb, need to view this as something stupid.
The next morning he tries to avoid everyone on the server, even the people he knows would never notice such a thing, he doesn't want to test his luck. He trows himself at his projects, drawing up blueprints for new traps, redrawing them and then tinkering with them. Anything to get his mind of Parkers words, off his own feelings.
He's never been that lucky though, not on this server.
He's organising his chest in his own base, he foolishly thought that it would be safe there, forgotten that his base has become some form of communal space for the other to hang out at. Tai, Flowtives and Parker are all using the main room of his base as some form of catch up spot. Jude has tired to make it clear that they're not welcome right now but they just took that as a challenge.
Parker keeps sending him side eyes, or maybe Judes just reading too much into it, he's to tired of thinking. All he wanted to do was have some alone time to get over what had happened to him, but nooo that's too much to ask for apparently.
He grumpily moves stuff from one chest to another when he suddenly hears that god forsaken voice.
"What are you guys doing here" Sharpness says, god he didn't even think about his voice, that accent of his is just, fuck. He lets his head hit the chests with a thunk, he needs to stop, like actually just stop.
Chatter goes around him, he's not listening, debating if hitting his head repeatedly against the chest will somehow fix the cogs in his brain, will make him forget everything Parker said to him.
"Isn't that right Jude?" He hears Parker snicker, he snaps his head towards the crowd. All eyes are on him, Sharpness like a knife to his his stomach, too close to his heart.
"What?" He's irritated and it's clear in his voice.
"I said, Isn't it right that you so kindly allowed us a moment of peace to chill at your base?" They're all giggling at that, like whatever they're doing is actually funny.
"Fuck no, I've been trying to get them to leave for hours" He spits arms crossing over his chest.
"Well if that's the case, then ill sit too" Sharpness laughs sitting down and joining the chatter with Tai. Judes about to hit his head back agasint the chest to show some form of protest but Parker holds his gaze, he's smiling at him weirdly, too wide.
Jude raises an eyebrow back at him, Parker, with that dumb smile of his, points to his own face mimicking hiding something. Jude stares back confused about to start cussing him out again when it hits him.
Fuck. Without even realising it he's sunk further into his hood, probably the second he realised sharpness was around. The way his eyes widen makes Parker snicker from across the room, Jude gives him the middle finger which just makes Parker laugh harder at him. God this is going to be much harder than he thought it would, the way his heart is beating doesn't help either.
He doesn't even realise he's doing it, it's subconscious, how the fuck is he supposed to fix something he does without even using his head? He closes the chest he'd been organising getting ready to get the fuck out of there, it's too stuffy, too much.
When he's walking further into the base he hears Sharpness yell "Where are you going Judy! Don't wanna join our circle?" He pouts, and fuck him for being cute, for actually pulling off a pout. He's looking at Jude with wide puppy eyes and god, calling him Judy is just unfair. Now that he's hyper aware he notices that he sinks a little further into his hood, letting the top part fall a bit more.
He can't do this, needs to get away from the sun that's Sharpness.
"Nah fuck you guys, take your hangout somewhere else i swear to god" The words a muffled but the messenger is clear, they just don't care. Laughing among them self's.
"Aw is Judy cranky?" Sharpness teases, Jude doesn't even bother with a response, giving him the middle finger and walking away, hearing the faint echo of them all giggling. They're not funny, none of them are, they need to learn to shut the fuck up. He thinks as he stomps back to his room, face planting right down on his bed.
He turns to his side, hugging his pillow close to his chest. All the anger he had couldn't hide the childish feeling of how unfair it all really is. He didn't decide any of this, it wasn't his choice to be called out by Parker, wasn't even his choice to find Sharpness attractive in the first place.
Couldn't the universe have made him like someone a little more equal to him, someone where thoughts like this could just be thought off as stupid. Not something where deep down he feels like they have a right to stay in his head, where he feels there's at least a little bit of weight to thinking like this. Like why in hell would Sharpness, greek goddess Sharpness choose someone like him.
That's stupid, like so so stupid. He really wishes every part of him could see and believe how absolutely stupid that it. Like even if he did look, different. Look like just Sharpness type, like another model on this server, he'd still not go for him. This isn't a dating server, it's for pvp and strength, it's literately called Strength SMP. Romance is probably the last thing on Sharpness mind, romance with him is probably lower than the last thing on his mind.
He turns to his other side with a groan moving his hair out of the way with one hand, resting it on his own check. He starts feeling the same spot like last night, idly tracing it. God he needs to get a grip, a serious grip right now.