Chapter Text
It was the first few months into living in the Katseye household. Megan still hasn't accidentally said that she's a little, the other members believing that she's a neutral, like Manon.
The other members had their own suspicions on Megan's classification but no one had the courage to speak up about it, yet.
Which now leads us to today. Yesterday, the girls thought it would be a great idea to go to a theme park on their day off. It went great, there were no problems.
But Megan had labeled that day as her "little day". A day with no problems, no stress, no anxiety. She pushed it back, and now she is struggling.
Rehearsal started early this morning, which meant they got the late afternoon free. Megan was grateful as she is actively pushing away her regression, overworking to distract herself from any little thoughts that may appear.
Dani & Lara had noticed and were watching Megan from the sidelines. They were both classified as caregivers as well as Sophia so seeing any of their members struggle was always a hard thing to watch.
"AGAIN" she yelled over the speaker. the words pulsing through her body as her muscles contorted into rehearsed shapes. she could feel her head pounding so she yelled..
"LARA TURN THE VOLUME UP"
Lara stood still for a moment, actively in shock before turning toward the speaker and increasing the volume. She would never admit it but she was little scared of Megan when she acted like that.
Daniela watched Lara turn the volume up as she restarted the song - both girls knew that rehearsals needed to end soon, even if it was a bit early. if not, someone would get hurt. Dani gave Lara a concerning look as each girl fell into their starting positions for the song. they were speaking to each other internally until the song began.
You could practically feel the vibrations of the song through the floor and that was perfect for Megan - no thoughts, just dancing. Megan always lost herself in dance, ever since she was a kid, dancing felt like a way to express her emotions even if she couldn't get the words correct. Now, Megan could not pay attention to what any of the other girls were doing, she could tell they weren't dancing but her mind was so focused on not slipping that she did not understand what they were doing.
Sophia had also joined in with the looks between Dani & Lara. Sophia had known Megan the longest out of all the girls so her suspicions of Megan being little had lasted the longest - but with little to no proof, Sophia had given up and just waited for Megan to come to her.
Manon & Yoonchae had noticed Megan overworking herself and really pushing herself to get the moves right. They stepped out of the way and stopped dancing when Megan had no spacial awareness and was very close to injuring one of them.
Every girl was getting even more concerned now so Dani took it upon herself to turn off the speaker, Sophia and Lara standing behind her. Megan just stood still for a second, taking in the volume change and the new silence that arose in the studio.
"are you okay?" Sophia asked, walking towards Megan - she flinched, not used to the quiet and unexpected noise coming from behind her.
"Yes" she said without even realising. her mind was all over the place, so many different changes happening at once that she couldn't keep up with.
Sophia moved closer, not so they were touching but close enough that Megan knew she would have someone to turn to. Megan finally moved, a slight hand twitch but it was better than nothing. A small tension finally releasing through her body as if it finally told her that she was safe.
"are you sure?" Lara asked breaking through the silence. Megans mind built the wall back up protecting her brain - she was too close to revealing her secret to them and she could not let that happen. She would be letting everyone down, her parents who had worked hard to get her to where is she now, her friends who made her feel safe to talk about hard topics surrounding around being in a girl group and finally her members who had also worked hard to go along with this journey and would be so angry with her if she ruined it with one silly little mistake - dropping.
"yes! im sure! please leave me alone!" her volume increased as the sentence dragged on. her members could see the amount of pain and stress she was in and how she was holding herself together like she was fragile. the only benefit to this situation was that she actually moved two whole steps away from Lara, stopped, and then moved herself to be held up against the wall.
Megans brain felt blurry, she understood the feeling and knew what was happening to her. She was digging for a way to get out of here without her members following her.
She turned towards the other girls staring at her, eyes opening wider as she understood what was happening to her body. she whispered "please leave me alone" and kept repeating it until she could think a bit clearer. that was a close one she thought. still, it wasn't safe for her to stay here - she spoke louder.
"I need space. I'm going home. Do not follow me. Please" she begged as the other girls looked around at each other not knowing whether to let her be on her own after the way she has acted here. Sophia gave the rest of the girls a look before turning around eyes focusing just on Megan "are you sure Megs, we can stay with you if you'd like" she asked.
"No. I'm good" she snapped a little getting frustrated at herself and the fact she is feeling like this. Sophia stepped back a little and thought for a moment. Megan then realised that she did not need to ask for permission to leave - she was old enough to leave on her own. As Sophia was about to speak, Megan interrupted "I'm going home" and then she packed up her stuff and left.
She called an uber, not trusting herself and her current headspace to get her the whole way home. Now that she was away from the girls and the tension in the studio she could relax a bit, her shoulders dropped and she could feel the movement in her legs as she walked. The uber arrived quickly and she was on her way home in no time.
Back inside the studio, the silence remained until Daniela spoke "..should we follow her?" she hesitated before asking. "no" Sophia & Lara replied. "We let her stay at home until we are scheduled to leave" Sophia continued. "Maybe we should go out for dinner too, bring Megs something back with us but shes deserved the space she asked for" Lara carried on.
Everyone nodded their head in agreement. That was it then. Practise continued until 5pm - it was only 12pm.
When Megan arrived home, she instantly made her way to her room and shut the door. She was safe here. She felt the tension leave her body as she hugged the stuffed bunny (named bunny) that was lying on her bed and opened the drawer to find her pacifier which was only used in emergencies as she didn't want the other girls finding out about this.
"Mama" she said as she crawled herself into bed. There wasn't much left for her to do now - the pain she gave herself from overworking felt too much now that she was little and her brain felt all blurry and discombobulated that she couldn't really understand anything else except "sleep."
Her eyes kept blinking shut for multiple seconds and then she'd wake again paranoid thinking one of the girls had come home looking for her. After sitting up and looking around the room for the final time, she squished bunny and let herself fully rest for the first time in days.
The girls had finally got home at around 7pm since they did go out for dinner giving Megan the space she asked for. The house was pitched black and in silence "is she even here?" Yoonchae asked.
"I'm not sure" Lara replied. "She must be - I mean you saw her, she could barely think straight, there is no way she could've gotten herself to her friends house" she continued
"Yeah that's true" Daniela replied "Lemme go check her room in case she's asleep - I'll bring the pasta to her as well" Manon gave her the pasta and she walked upstairs.
Daniela stepped into Megans room, a tiny light coming from her bedside table that she forgot to turn off. She stepped closer towards it so Megan could sleep more peacefully but she was extra careful not to wake her. Then, she saw it, a pacifier in Megans mouth, she couldn't help but awe, she was so cute! Megan stirred but fell back asleep instantly.
Dani made her way back down the stairs carefully and found Lara sitting in the living room by herself. She whispered "Psst, Lara, come see this" Normally, she wouldn't sell anyone's secret but Megan was too cute and she knew Lara wouldn't say anything and this would just stay in between them.
Back In Megans room, Lara felt the urges to pick Megan up and just hug her for the longest time but that would wake the little girl so she suppressed and waited until they could all talk with each other tomorrow. Lara couldn't help but noticed that Megan fell asleep in her clothes from earlier but that would be something she would bring up in their conversation.
Dani and Lara spoke all the way down the stairs "she was so cute! did u see her bunny she was holding?"
"yes!! I just wished she could've let us know that she was little before so we could help her"
"me too, but it's okay, we'll try and talk with her tomorrow"
"okay"
They met with all the other girls back in the living room. "Was Megan in her room" Sophia asked Dani. "Yes she was" Dani replied with a smile on her face and she glanced towards Lara. "Okay, let's watch the movie."
—
At around 2am, Megan gasped and woke up and she was looking around the room paranoid. She turned to her left and checked the time - 2:21.
"fuck" she whispered but felt something soft in her mouth. she reached up and found the pacifier that was still planted in her mouth.
"fuck fuck fuck" she said louder and smacked herself in her head - she couldn't believe that she had done something so stupid. Now she would just have to wait and see