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Takumi stared at the two people standing in front of him, their hands interlocked, and he suddenly felt like throwing up. Junki and Keigo had just announced to the members that they were in a relationship, and Takumi, he didn't know how to feel.
They were his best friends, and naturally, he should be happy for them. But he wasn't. He wasn't happy at all. He felt betrayed somehow, as if they had done something to wrong him, which they hadn't. He really doesn't have any right to be upset.
It's just that the three of them were supposed to be a trio. It's supposed to be Junki, Keigo, and Takumi, not just Junki and Keigo. Takumi liked things the way they were before, and he doesn't want them to change.
Takumi feels stuck in place as he watches Junki and Keigo’s expressions, fearful and seeking acceptance. He watches as the other members rush to comfort them, assuring them that they were fine with it.
Takumi wanted to join them, he didn't like seeing his friends looking so unsure, but he couldn't move. As much as he wanted to tell them that he didn't have a problem with their relationship, he did. Takumi hates himself for being a terrible friend, but he can't help the pit in his stomach and the tightness in his chest.
Junki and Keigo turned to him expectantly, as he was the only one who hadn't said anything. They both looked as if they were seeking his approval. Takumi couldn't handle their attention on him, not when he felt like his world had been ripped from under his feet.
Takumi stood up quickly, and to the surprise of the other members, hurried out of the room.
After that, Takumi couldn't look either of them in the eyes. He was embarrassed by how he had acted that day, and he was frustrated at himself and his feelings. Instead of supporting them, he acted like a jerk, and he hated himself for it.
Takumi had just woken up and was making breakfast when his doorbell rang. Today was a day off, and he had planned to just spend it chilling at home, he hadn't expected anyone to come over.
Takumi opens the door to find Junki and Keigo waiting outside. They both look nervous. “Can we come in?” Junki asks hesitantly.
Takumi nods, moving aside to let them in. He can't avoid them forever, he knows he needs to talk to them eventually.
They're all sitting on the couch, and Takumi can't help but notice the awkward demeanor of his friends. They both look so unsure, as if they didn't think it was really ok for them to be here. Takumi feels bad for making them feel like that.
Keigo looks at Junki for reassurance before speaking up. “We just want to apologize for making you uncomfortable.” He sounds so sad when he says it. “If you really don't want to be around us anymore, we won't force you, but we really don't want to lose our friendship with you because of this.”
Takumi frowns, his chest tight with panic. “No, don't apologize,” he says quickly. “You didn't do anything wrong. I'm the one who should apologize.”
He takes a deep breath before continuing, trying to calm his nerves. “You didn't make me uncomfortable, and I still want to be friends with you. I'm sorry for avoiding you, it was just a lot for me to process.”
“The reason I got upset was because…” Takumi trails off, Junki and Keigo’s gaze burning into him like fire. “Because if you two are dating, you'll only want to spend time with each other, and you won't want to spend time with me anymore.” Saying it out loud makes Takumi realize how stupid and childish he is acting.
He squeezes his eyes shut tightly, waiting for them to laugh at him or call him stupid. But they don't. Instead, they get up and hug him. “Of course we still want to spend time with you,” Junki says.
“Us being in a relationship doesn't mean that you aren't important to us too,” Kegio assures.
Takumi hugs them back, his chest full of happiness.
After that, things shifted. The three of them have always been close, but now they were practically inseparable. Junki and Keigo never left his side whenever they did activities for JO1, and they even invited him on their dates.
It makes Takumi feel like he is still important to them, even though they are in a relationship now, and he loves spending time with him. So he should be happy. And for the most part he is, but he can't help the part of him that feels guilty.
He shouldn't be so selfish about spending time with them. They're together, so naturally they'd want some alone time now and then. Couples should be able to go on dates without a third wheel around all the time. Takumi is scared that they're going to get sick of him.
That's not the only thing that's bothering him. There's also the feeling that he gets whenever they hold hands or kiss in front of him. His chest gets tight, and he feels angry for some reason. He doesn't know why he feels like that, and it makes him feel like a terrible friend. He should be happy for them, not feeling whatever it is that he's feeling.
Takumi decides to turn to the help of an online forum to try and understand why he is feeling this way. He writes out a post explaining the situation, feeling a bit ridiculous that he's trusting strangers online for advice. He posts it anyway, because he doesn't know what else to do. He doesn't have anyone else to talk to about this with.
About an hour goes by before he finally gets a notification about a response to his post.
From what I could gather from your post, it seems to be that the problem isn't that you're friends in a relationship, but rather that they are in a relationship without you. Have you ever considered that you might have feelings for them? It would explain why you feel so left out that they are dating. Perhaps you don't like it when they show each other affection because you want them to show you affection as well. That's my take on the situation. Let us know if there are any updates, I'm invested in your story lol :)
Takumi throws his phone on his bed, his heart beating uncomfortably fast. He should have been able to laugh at the ridiculous theory, to easily deny it. But he couldn't. It was as if a bunch of puzzle pieces had clicked in his head, and now he couldn't unsee the full picture.
Everything made sense now. He had feelings for Keigo and Junki.
But what was he supposed to do now? It's not like they would ever accept his feelings. Takumi won't tell them, he decides. He doesn't want to lose them. He’ll just keep hanging out with them like normal. Being friends is good enough for him.
Takumi arrived to practice earlier than normal, he was running some errands nearby and decided to just come straight to the studio when he was done.
He was about to enter the room when he heard people talking. He hadn't expected anyone to be there already.
“I think we need to talk to Takumi. We need to tell him the truth.” It was Junki’s voice.
“But what if he reacts badly?” Keigo's voice.
“We can't keep pretending like everything’s normal. Our feelings aren't going to change, you know that.”
Takumi clenched his fists, his eyes squeezed shut in an attempt to stop the tears from falling.
He knew this was going to happen. He knew they were going to get sick of him. They probably don't want him hanging out with them anymore, but they don't know how to tell him because they don't want to hurt his feelings.
He doesn't know how long he had stood there for when he felt a hand on his shoulder.
“Takumi?” It was Sho who was looking at him with concern. “Are you alright? Why are you just standing there?”
Takumi snapped out of it and plastered on a fake smile. “I'm fine, I just zoned out for a second,” he lied. He walked into the room with Sho following behind him.
“Takumi, do you want to go out with me and Keigo later?” Junki asked him after they had finished practice. “We were going to go shopping and get some food.”
Takumi feels upset as he remembers the conversation he had heard between Keigo and Junki earlier. Junki doesn't have to invite him just to be nice, if he doesn't want Takumi there, then he shouldn't ask him to come.
“I can't, I'm busy.” He doesn't even look at Junki when he says it.
Junki feels confused at Takumi's cold tone. Takumi doesn't usually talk to him like that unless he's upset. Junki wonders what he did to make Takumi upset with him. “Oh, ok,” he replies awkwardly.
“See you later,” Takumi mumbles as he walks away.
This behavior continues anytime Takumi is forced to be around Junki and Keigo. When Keigo had rested his arm on Takumi's shoulder during a shoot, Takumi had shrugged the touch off, stepping away to distance himself from the other. Keigo had looked shocked and hurt, but Takumi just looked away, trying to ignore the feeling of his heart breaking.
A few days later they were staying in a hotel for a concert that they had the next day. Everyone was supposed to meet in the lobby because they had planned to go to dinner together, but Junki and Keigo were not there.
“Takumi, can you go get Keigo and Junki?” Sho asked him.
As much as Takumi wanted to say no, he didn't want to alert Sho to the fact that something was wrong, so he just nodded.
After he arrived at the room that the two were sharing, he opened the door without knocking, which, in hindsight, was a major mistake.
The two were sitting on the bed. Junki had one arm wrapped around Keigo's shoulder and was using the other to rub Keigo's arm soothingly. Keigo’s face was streaked with tears.
As much as Takumi wanted to run to comfort Keigo—he hated seeing him upset—he didn't want to intrude on the two of them, so he awkwardly turned to leave.
Before he could walk away, Junki called out to him. “Wait,” his voice sounded desperate, making Takumi stop in his tracks. “We really need to talk to you. Please.”
Takumi couldn't refuse Junki, so he hesitantly walked into the room, standing in front of the two of them awkwardly.
“We know you're upset with us. Please just tell us what we did wrong, we'll fix it.” Keigo's voice breaks a little, making Takumi feel guilty immediately. Was he the reason that Keigo was crying?
Takumi knows he's blowing things out of proportion, they just want some alone time. It really shouldn't be a big deal. He hadn't meant to hurt them. But after realizing how he feels about them, he’s scared, and he doesn't know what to do.
“I know you guys are sick of me being around you all the time, so I thought I would stop bothering you,” Takumi says. It sounds petty and selfish, Takumi hates it.
“Huh? What makes you say that?” Junki sounds genuinely very confused, which makes Takumi feel a little confused as well.
“Because I heard you guys talking about it,” Takumi says, a little defensively. Does Junki really not remember what he had said?
“What exactly did you hear us say?” Keigo asks. There seems to be a bit of understanding in his expression.
Takumi fiddles with the hem of his sleeve. “You said you had to talk to me about something, but you were scared of how I would react,” he explains. (Although he doesn't know why he needs to explain to them what they themselves said.) “You were talking about how you're annoyed with me.”
Keigo and Junki look at each other and seem to be having some sort of telepathical conversation, making Takumi feel anxious.
Keigo gave Junki a nod of encouragement, interlocking their fingers. Takumi tries to ignore the pang of annoyance he feels at that.
“Actually, that is not what we were talking about,” Junki says. He takes a deep breath. “The truth is we were talking about how we both like you. As more than a friend.” He looks so scared as he says it.
Takumi would think they were joking, but based on the looks on their faces, they were being serious. He's a little worried that this is just a dream, and he’ll wake up at any second.
“We understand if you don't want to be around us anymore,” Keigo says, and the tears from earlier have started to come back.
Takumi moves forward without thinking. He connects his lips with Keigo’s first, and he tastes salty from the tears that had fallen on his lips. He kisses Junki next, his lips are surprisingly soft.
After he pulls away, they’re both staring at him in shock, and Takumi feels worried all of a sudden. “You were being serious, right?” he asks.
The two of them seem to regain their senses.
“Yes.”
“Of course.”
Takumi feels relief wash through him.
“So you… are fine with that? I'm assuming,” Keigo asks.
Takumi nods, his cheeks feeling hot.
“Then… do you want to date us?” Junki asks.
“Can I really do that?” Takumi asks. He's never been in a relationship with two people at once, he doesn't know how it would work.
“If you want to, then we would really like you to,” Keigo says.
“Ok,” Takumi agrees, a bit hesitantly.
They finally join the others for dinner, who immediately ask them what took so long.
A few weeks after they got together, they decided to tell the other members about their relationship. Some of them were a little hesitant at first, but eventually they were all supportive.
Nothing had really changed from before, since Takumi was already with Junki and Keigo all the time anyway. Only now, he could hold hands with them, kiss them, and do other stuff that couples do.
Currently they are having a sleepover at Keigo’s place. They were lying in bed, cuddling. Takumi was in the middle with Junki on one side and Keigo on the other.
“Guys, I have a question.” Takumi breaks the silence that had settled between them. Both Keigo and Junki looked at him with curiosity, causing him to feel shy. He bit his lip, gathering the courage to ask the question that had been nagging at him. “When did you realize that you liked me?”
Keigo thought about it for a few moments before answering. “I think we both have liked you for a while,” he admits. Junki nods in agreement. “I just didn't realize Junki- kun also liked you until the night when I confessed my feelings to him.”
Junki continues the story for him. “I liked Keigo, but I would've felt guilty dating him while knowing I had feelings for someone else, so I told him about my feelings for you. It turns out he also liked you as well.”
“Honestly, we wanted to tell you then, but we thought you didn't like us like that,” Keigo explains. “We thought we'd be fine with just each other. And our relationship was good, but it always felt like it was missing something.”
“Me?” Takumi asks shyly.
“Exactly.” Keigo hugged him tighter and Junki ruffled his hair playfully. Takumi smiled brightly at them.
“What about you?” Junki asks. “When did you realize you liked us?”
Takumi’s cheeks redden in embarrassment.
“To be honest, I only realized after you guys started dating,” he admits. “I was trying to be happy for you, but I wasn't. I felt left out, and I was scared you weren't going to care about me anymore. I asked for advice online, and that's how I finally realized the reason I felt like that was because I liked you.”
“You know, you made Keigo really sad when you were avoiding us,” Junki said.
Keigo reached over Takumi to shove him lightly. “You were sad too, don't lie.”
“I'm sorry,” Takumi says, feeling a bit guilty.
“It's ok. Everything worked out, right?” Keigo kissed him on the forehead.
“Wait, did you say you asked for advice online?” Junki asked, laughing.
“No,” Takumi said, shaking his head.
“Yes you did!” Junki accused him.
“You did say that,” Keigo points out.
Takumi pulled the blanket over the bottom half of his face, embarrassed. “You're gaining up on me,” he grumbles.