Chapter Text
Boomie woke up with a headache.
Everything hurt, just on the line between the comforting ache of healing wounds and the sharp sting of his body reminding him he's been pushing it a bit too hard recently.
They weren't even sleeping properly, constantly drifting between actual sleep and consciousness, which didn't exactly fasten his healing but it wasn't like he could control it.
It seemed like a constant circle for the last few hours, or days. Who knows. Boomie hadn't looked at the clock. They hazily opened their eyes a few times, once it was dark and a while ago it was sunny, so it was at least the morning after... everything.
He wasn't sure what happened to Vanguard 1. After he yelled at them for being horrible at their job, which by what he heard from Stormz back in the day was nothing new, everything became a blur.
Despite Galaxy being the one injured by Rat, he immediately took off to find their enemies alongside her.
Mugm tried to stop him, not loudly, but he could tell by the way he tangled out of the cobwebs he placed down in the panic of V1's anger.
The movement was clumsy and way quicker than it should've been for some his state, and even if voidlings didn't get injured the same as humans, the black liquid spilling from his tangled up leg definitely wasn't a good sign.
He stopped struggling after Galaxy disappeared beyond the bridge, neither him or Boomie moving. Before they did.
Boomie ran over to Mugm who pulled out a regen pot out of his inventory, cutting through the webs swiftly and carefully not to cut Mugm with his sword.
It was completely on auto pilot. Fully just instinct. He zoned out so badly he physically flinched when he went to support Mugm, forgetting how cold the voidling and his armour was to the touch.
They went to the small quarters where they all slept. Boomie used to just hang around Stormz halls and apparently Galaxy was used to sleeping over anywhere Mugm left him, so in short, they were both homeless and preferred not to sleep in beds of their dead or deserted predecessors.
Boomie didn't realize how badly beaten up he was himself, Mugm forced him to stay behind with him and rest. Galaxy and Vanguard 1 had it handled, after all.
It felt weird to Boomie. Why Mugm didn't jump at the idea of protecting his apprentice was beyond them. Did he really believe in Galaxy's skills that much or did he just not think weakened Slushly and Nufuli were that big of a deal?
Probably the latter.
Boomie definitely disagreed though, he was pretty hurt by his last conversation with Galaxy.
It was dumb how he just... let Stormz' murderer and impersonator go. He knew so well how much that meant to Boomie, he knew that he'd give everything to see that asshole's dead body bleeding out on the ground-
"He already lost everything, sparing his life was a bigger punishment than death. Besides, we'll definitely cross paths again, and I won't spare him again."
Galaxy said. And Boomie wasn't sure how to feel about that. He was aware Galaxy and Slushly knew each other, and he knew Galaxy was a bit too righteous for his own good.
But Galaxy was right. Slushly came back and spit on Stormz and Vanguard's like the rat he was.
And so Boomie fought him and his little union.
And lost.
And Vanguard 1 was angry with him.
And Galaxy was angry with everyone.
And when he came back, he barely said a word. Mugm tried everything. He tried to talk to him, to threaten him, even raised his voice for a bit before apologizing.
Galaxy didn't budge. Left them in the dark.
Which to Boomie meant only one thing.
They failed on every possible line and aspect of their job.
They failed as Vanguard 4, V1 made that clear.
They failed a fighter.
They failed as an apprentice, fuck. He couldn't even avenge his mentor.
Stormz would be so disappointed in him.
He'd spit at him pretending to be calm when he could just feel the self control in his voice, then pretend everything was fine for the rest of the day.
But he'd be more quiet, Boomie knew the pattern by now. He wouldn't say anything but he'd shoot him those glances that made them want to scream.
And the next training he'd be just slightly harsher. Boomie will probably get hurt, and Stormz will apologize but not sound like he really means it. And then Boomie will just get up and bite the bullet and also pretend everything was fine, like they always had.
And he'll do something extra on his next fighting mission so Stormz will act proud again, because Boomie is the one that owes him everything after taking him in.
Fuck, what if Boomie looses control and snaps back, they'll scream at each other and Stormz will leave looking to beat out his anger by fighting someone. And if something happens to him, it will be Boomie's fault.
Fuck. Fuck it's Boomie's fault Stormz died isn't it. Just because he didn't remember any argument any time before he disappeared didn't mean Boomie wasn't the cause, he always forgot things for fuck's sake. This was all his fault. He can't do a single thing right. Can't protect a single friend he has. The Vanguard is going to break apart and he's going to be alone again and-
"Hey."
Boomie got dizzy from how fast he sat up on the bed.
He was momentarily glad that whoever came into the room didn't touch him before speaking up, he'd probably claw their hand off on instinct.
The second he was up he slowed down a bit and spun around to see Mugm standing a bit away from his bed.
His expression was mostly neutral. It always was. His emotions usually only showed as undertones. Except that night, when Galaxy got up and flew away-
"You were shaking."
Right. Boomie's mind was drifting. He really needed to sleep.
"What?"
"You were shaking when I came in. Are you alright?" Mugm's voice was blank, but the way it was more quiet and soothing than usual made Boomie realize he was trying to walk on glass.
He didn't sound like the ideal emotional support, but he was trying. He wasn't great but he was a good beginning mentor. It reminded him of the old times.
Boomie probably stared at him for too long, because Mugm shifted as his brows furrowed.
"Physically, at least?"
"Oh. Uhm, yes. I'm okay, not hurt" Boomie realized how raspy and tired his voice sounded. It was a bit pathetic, he didn't like being like this in front of people.
"Okay. I wanted to check up on you hence you've been rotting in that bed for 2 days now," Mugm looked around the room as Boomie looked back onto the ground. "I'm not sure what your species is, but you should probably eat and drink something."
"...No. I don't eat much outside of gaps. My stomach is pretty weak, but thank you for checking in." Boomie's voice trailed off. It felt like Mugm was processing his response like a report.
"How's Galaxy?" Boomie wanted to change the theme before it got into the deeper territory. Besides, Mugm was Galaxy's mentor, they cared for each other far more than him.
Mugm just sighed, before slowly walking over to their bed. He sat down on the edge slowly, giving Boomie enough time to move away or tell him off.
They said nothing, just stayed frozen looking at in front of him. Mugm noticed how they subconsciously started fidgeting with their long hair strands, pooling freely around them on the bed.
"Boomie, I'm not here to talk about Galaxy. We're team mates. I need to take care of you too."
"You don't need to do anything." It came out a bit harsher then Boomie meant it to.
A pause.
"...I want to take care of you too." Mugm's voice felt so sharp and certain, it felt like a hit to Boomie. He pulled out a few hair from the strand in his hand, the pulled out bits slowly fading to black.
Mugm fell silent again, but after a few seconds he raised his hand. Boomie's first instinct was to flinch, but he stayed frozen on the bed. He shouldn't be scared or uncomfortable, Mugm meant well. He just wasn't exactly sure how to feel right now.
He gave them a lot of time to move away just like before, and when they didn't move he brought his hand to Boomie's back and started rubbing gentle circles there.
Boomie didn't say a word, but his shoulders relaxed just so slightly. He stopped hearing the fast beating of his heart at one point, but that also meant his adrenaline started to wear off.
He suddenly got reminded of the dizziness and pain going through his body, blinking a few times. He felt like throwing up.
"How do you feel?" The question was simple. It shouldn't be hard to answer. But it felt wrong to just say fine after Mugm tried being vulnerable with him.
"I don't know." His voice was still raspy, but it was more tired than emotional.
"You don't know?" Boomie could tell he didn't exactly believe him, and he was right to. He didn't exactly want to have this conversation in this state but at this point, better late than never.
"I... I'm very conflicted right now. I'm just not sure." Boomie tried to focus on his hands, still fidgeting with his hair. It felt comforting to see his hair slowly flow through his fingers. There was some dried blood in a lot of the strands, but the parts that were still smooth and well taken care off felt nice to touch.
Mugm hummed. "That's... fair." He continued the movement on his back, only now noticing how warm Boomie was. Compared to Mugm's temperature it almost felt boiling, but voidlings didn't exactly have any skin to burn, so he didn't stop.
"I can answer some questions if that helps. Or leave you to rest, I understand if you don't want to talk right now." Mugm's voice seemed to smooth out again.
Boomie's hand paused its movement, thinking.
"...Is Vanguard 1... usually like that..?" It was almost a whisper.
"...we don't usually fail missions. But yes, they tend to be harsh if we do." His tone didn't change, but the hand on Boomie's back twitched. "You seemed to be... aware that he's capable of quite some things, though. By the way you reacted."
Boomie didn't move. He didn't want to talk about that, didn't want to talk about how he lost that second life. It wasn't the time for that, not when he was on the verge of throwing up from the encounter alone.
"Stormz told me a bit about it, and when Vanguard 1 hit us a few times by accident during that fight I- I guess I was on edge. I should've acted like that."
A flimsy excuse, but it made sense. He knew Mugm wasn't attacking them, but they still felt a bit pressured by the question.
"Hm. What did Stormz tell you?"
"...not much. Just to make sure to be respectful or it'd end bad, or something. He just always seemed tense after meeting with them, despite how hard Stormz i-...was to throw off."
Mugm's hand paused and Boomie felt a weird kind of dread rise in his chest. Did he say something? He probably shouldn't remind Mugm of Stormz, they were friends after all.
"... How'd you know Stormz?" Mugm interrupted their train of thought.
Oh.
Right.
Boomie... he forgot the Vanguard wasn't exactly allowed to have apprentices whenever. Stormz pretty much only found out about Galaxy a week before he died. He was just surprised Galaxy didn't tell Mugm.
"...he was my mentor." He tried sounding as light as possible, but his voice cracked anyways. Of course it did.
Mugm went quiet, but Boomie didn't dare look up to read his expression, so they just went back to fidgeting their hair.
"Why didn't you tell me?" There was no clear anger or irritation in his voice, but then again, it was Mugm.
"I... I don't want to talk about him. Besides, I didn't think it was important enough to mention, I'd care about a dead member of Vanguard anyways. And uh... Galaxy knew, he knows you better. I thought if you found things like these important, he would've told you by now."
Boomie spilled the words out without much consideration at this point, he had enough secrets, so at least they will be honest about this one.
Mugm let out a soft sigh and started moving the hand on his back again.
"Okay, that's alright. We don't need to talk about him. I fully understand why you need time." The way Mugm framed it made Boomie sober up a little.
Fuck, he was so pathetic. Galaxy was the emotional one, not him. He knew how to keep his emotions under control, he was more experienced, he was used to people dying around him, fuck he was used to dying himself.
It just felt so painful talking about Stormz sometimes, and besides. It's later, not never, and in Boomie's opinion, actually being physically okay would probably help his situation a bit.
"You're sure you didn't keep it a secret for any other reasons?"
"...what?"
"I'm not that great with these things but I do know people your and Galaxy's age go through a lot of things, including finding themselves..." He trailed off, seemingly to think a bit.
"So I'd understand if you were scared for others to see you as nothing more than Stormz' apprentice. People like to protect their individuality, especially if they have mentors as known as Vanguard"
Boomie stared at him.
Definitely not his issue.
"...has Galaxy struggled with this?"
"No."
"Then why would you even think of that?"
Mugm hummed. "I've been around for a while. I know what it feels like to be put in a box. Do you have any idea how often people compare me to Vanguard 1?"
Boomie paused. He kind of forgot about the fact that Mugm was still seen as just 'the second' and not high and mighty 1.
To Boomie he was always a figure to look up to, even as the second, he was an amazing fighter and co-worker to Stormz after all, but not everyone saw him like that. What happened with Slushly's group was proof of that.
"No. I... actually wouldn't mind just being Stormz' apprentice. I don't feel ready for most of these things." The reply was definitely delayed, but it was there.
"How long has he trained you for, if you don't mind me asking?"
"A few months, but I've known him before that too."
"Have you ever helped him out on missions?"
"Yeah-yes I mean-... of course he did." Boomie didn't like the memories coming to his mind at that.
"Then what do you not feel ready for?"
"I... I'm not sure? I just... the training just felt... it ended so abruptly- I know I learned a lot and I know I was making progress. I'm not a weakling, I'm good at these- these things. But there was just- it feels unfinished. Like Stormz let me read half of the book of requirements and just left. I... I couldn't even-"
He was ranting. He was fucking ranting. Boomie trailed off to take in a shaky breath and didn't dare continue. He felt so useless. Mugm wasn't his therapist, he shouldn’t have told him about Stormz, he shouldn't have asked anything at all.
He's been so over the top since he lost that 2nd life. Doubting Vanguard 1 like that was out of line. But he wasn't sure what Stormz would say if he was still here- quit whining and stand up for yourself or respect authority.
And maybe neither. Boomie's vision became blurry before he could blink it away.
And then he felt a hug envelope him.
He flinched. He didn't really like being touched, and Mugm was still abnormally cold.
But it just felt... okay. It felt normal. Way more normal than any aspect of his life since Stormz died. Just a normal hug.
Mugm's hands weren't harsh around him, nearly just resting, and he didn't forcibly drag Boomie into it, just leaned closer so Boomie could stay sitting comfortably.
Boomie didn't react at first, probably mostly shock and putting his thoughts together.
After a few more beats they slowly brought their own hands up and hugged Mugm back, quietly letting the tears in his eyes fall.
He wasn't a loud crier, and didn't let out much, too used to covering his emotions. He could cry it out later, alone. But he didn't push back the already gathered tears.
Mugm rubbed his back again gently, letting Boomie relax. Mugm's hand ran over one of his wounds, but he didn't care. He just wanted to enjoy it.
Enjoy the moment of quiet, knowing damn well there'll be a new mission soon. That he'll have to get up and eat something soon. That he'll have the actual conversation with Mugm one day.
But that was a worry for later.
Boomie found himself relaxing, letting out a quiet purr in his chest. Probably the hybrid side of him.
He rested against Mugm's embrace, closing his eyes.
As abrupt and short cut their conversation felt, it still made him feel a little lighter, even if it solved absolutely nothing.
...
It... just felt nice to trust someone again.