Archive of Our Own

Batman's mere presence commanded attention.

Barry had known this already, but nothing had made it more clear than these past few League meetings.

In a recent scuffle (read: yet another nearly world-ending event) the Dark Knight had taken a brutal hit and an even more brutal fall that left him with three broken ribs and a nasty concussion. As he recovered (much slower than Barry would have but somehow still much faster than any normal person) he had been forced to operate almost entirely from the Batcave instead of joining the League in the tower as usual. Which meant that he was leading the team from what was effectively a glorified zoom meeting.

And he was crushing it.

If any League members (*cough*Hal*cough*) had thought the digital barrier would detract from the Batman's general. . .aura, they were sorely mistaken.

If anything, the way Batman's camera framed him, with just the lights of his computers illuminating him and the seemingly endless void-like darkness of the Batcave behind him, made Spooky look. . .well. . .spookier.

And helped the attentions of the League from straying any further than they would if he were with them in person.

He could almost feel the tension drain from his teammates' shoulders as Batman logged off and the screen went dark.

Hal stretched his arms above his head with groan. "Jesus Christ, is it the weekend yet?"

Clark smiled. "I think we still have a few hours to go. Why? Do you have plans?""

"I'll be hitting up Central for a couple days." He slung his arm around Barry's shoulders. "Flash and I have plans that may or may not include a lot of pizza."

"I thought all of Barry's plans included a lot of pizza?" Oliver retorted.

"How does Iris feel about these plans?" Dinah asked with a coy smile.

Barry laughed. "She keep calling it our 'romantic rendezvous.'"

"She's just worried I'm going to steal her husband."

"You haven't already?"

The meeting room buzzed with an energy that only existed in the restless moments before the weekend as the League chatted happily about plans, family, and the rogues they were hoping wouldn't interupt what was looking to be a perfect, peaceful weekend, filling the space with a cheerful hum.

And then, with a sharp ping, Batman's screen lit up again, and the room fell silent.

Instead of Batman's usual ominous display, the screen was overtaken a bright green static that filled the room with a ghostly glow.

"That's odd," Clark murmered, "did one of the cables get disconnected?"

Diana, who sat closest to the screen, inspected it carefully. "I do not believe so. Perhaps-"

"I would like to preface this by saying," Barry wasn't proud of how high he jumped when the ominous female voice rang out from the speakers, "What's about to happen isn't B's fault, but he also totally brought this upon himself."

"Who is this?" Wonder Woman, face lit up with alarm, questioned immediately, "Who is speaking to us?"

The voice laughed eerily. "This is Oracle." The duh was not spoken, but obviously implied.

Beside him, Hal's brow wrinkled in confusion. "Oracle. Isn't that Batman's AI?"

Somehow the next laugh was creepier than the first. "Not his AI. Also not technically Batman's. I work with B, not for him."

"It's good to meet you Oracle," Superman smiled as if they were in the room with them, "but, if you don't mind me asking, how is it that you have access to our secure feed?"

"Oh, I designed most of your security systems," she explained breezily. "Anyways, I just thought that I should say something to you all before I did this, because B would kill me if I let you think this was a slip-up in the security. I mean, he'll kill me anyway, but there'll be enough chaos as it is."

"Do what, exactly?" Barry found himself asking.

"You'll see, but first, a disclaimer: this isn't happening because Batman isn't observant or because he accidently turned the camera on. This is happening because he's been talking about telling you guys for ages now but is too chicken to go through with it. Also, I'm still mad at him. He knows what he did.

"Without further ado. . ." The green lights shuddered for a second. "Enjoy the show!"

The static cut out as suddenly as it had arrived, and the League found themselves looking once again at Batman's usual meeting setup.

Only, it wasn't his usual setup.

Batman sat where he usually did, working on his computer, oblivious to to his unexpected audience. But behind him, where there was usually only darkness, was. . .

"Oh my god. . ." Barry breathed, "Is that the Batcave? I wasn't expecting. . ."

"An actual cave?" Oliver finished for him in disbelief. "I knew the guy was dramatic, but this is a whole new level." He squinted at the screen, taking in the distant details of the cave. "What is this? A parking garage? Look at all those vehicles!"

"Is that a giant penny?" Hal asked incredulously, "And look! That looks like a full gym back there!"

Ignoring the game of eye-spy his colleagues had started up, Superman cleared his throat. "Batman? Batman, can you hear us?"

The bat made no move to signify he heard anything. He continued typing.

"Do we know if this is live?" Diana questioned. "Perhaps we should check."

"On it!" In seconds, Barry had sent a message to the Bat, asking a simple question about the previous meeting. Moments later, the Bat picked up his communicator, typed a quick response and set back down.

Barry's communicator pinged. He checked the message. "It's live," he confirmed.

"Weird. . ." Hal shook his head. "How much you want to bet he's working on a report."

Oliver snorted. "Or a new training regiment."

"It's like watching an animal in its natural habitat."

Superman shifted awkwardly. "Maybe we shouldn't. . ." He trailed off as Hal groaned, exasperated.

"Don't worry so much Kal," Diana soothed, though the effect was mostly canceled out by the mischievous grin she wore. "This is a chance to learn more about our friend. Besides, I trust that this Oracle knows what she is doing."

"Though I do wonder," Dinah added with a thoughtful smile, "what it is she said he was meaning to tell us."

Hal scoffed. "I don't belive that he would want to tell us anything. The man is-"

He was cut off by a sudden shuffling over the speakers. The attentions of the League were redirected just in time for them to watch as Batman began to fiddle with his cowl.

"Oh my god," Barry gasped, "is he-"

"Shhh!" Hal cut him off, slapping his arm to silence him.

They watching in disbelief as the mysterious Batman pressed something at the back of his cowl, adjusted some sort of fastener, and finally. . .pulled off his cowl.

"Oh my god. . ."

"Holy shit!"

"What the hell?"

"Well I'll be damned. . ."

"What in Hera's name?"

"Oh. . .fuck."

Horrible, deafening, dumbstruck silence laid heavily over the room.

Luke usual, Hal was the first to speak, "Bruce Wayne. Batman. Is Bruce Wayne. . .I don't. . .I can't. . .I mean this guy is. . .he's a meme. Just this morning-"

"I sent you a video of him rubbing Lex Luthor's bald head." Barry stared blankly at the familiar face. "He said it was for good luck."

"I saw him at a gala last week." Barry didn't know if he had ever seen the Princess look so suprised. "He danced with half the guests, toppled the champagne tower, and spent half the night talking to. . .you." Her eye narrowed as they landed on Clark. "Kal, my friend, you wouldn't have known our friend's secret already, did you?"

Clark shook his head, his face flushed red. "No, I just- I was the only reporter he would really talk to; that's why The Planet kept sending me. I never understood why. Louis. . .the office. . .they always joked about playboy Brucie. . .said he was hitting on me and I was too dense to notice."

Hal's eyebrows shot up. "Wete they right?"

"No! I mean, I don't think so. . .his heartbeat was always steady. He always seemed happy to just. . .talk."

Diana laid a comforting hand on Superman's shoulder, though she still looked baffled. "He trusts you Kal."

"Trust my ass!" All eyes fell on Green Arrow. "I don't believe that backstabber knows the word!"

Dinah, face white, smiled uneasily. "Forgive Oliver," she pleaded, "he is in shock."

"I've known Bruce since school!"

"I think we all are a bit shocked," Clark replied sympathetically.

"I used to let him cheat off my Latin quizes!"

"I am not shocked," Martian Manhunter admitted, "Am I correct in assuming he's some sort of celebrity?"

"We used to share clothes when we didn't want to do laundry!"

"Bruce Wayne is the internet's favorite himbo- uhh. . .billionaire playboy," Hal explained.

"We must have gone on a thousand double dates! I introduced him to his first girlfriend!"

"He's known as a total ditz. He's always embarrassing himself in crazy ways and doesn't ever seem to realize it."

"I introduced him to his first boyfriend!"

"He's always embarrassing other celebrities too, but they can't do anything to him because people love him too much."

"He's known I'm the arrow for years!"

"They call him Gotham's favorite prince. Wayne Enterprises funds dozens of charities within the city."

"And I don't mean only as Batman! He found out as Bruce two years ago!"

"They say he's slept with most of Gotham's elite and then some."

"He acted so shocked, but he already. Fucking. Knew!"

Barry felt a chill run down his spine. "Is it weird that this makes him scarier?"

"No, dude. I'm terrified."

"I'm his son's godfather, for Christ's sake!"

The League froze. All eyes snapped back to Batman as he ran a hand through his hair. He looked more disheveled that they had ever seen him, with circles under his eyes and deep creases between his furrowed brows.

He didn't look like lovable disaster Brucie Wayne, nor did he look like the eldritch horror they had come to know as The Batman.

He was something else entirely. Tired. Worn. Dedicated.

"Holy shit." Hal's jaw literally dropped. "Batman's a dad."

An odd sense of horror overtook Barry. "He has kids. Kids. Plural."

"I don't understand," J'onn interrupted, "Superman has two sons, the Flash has Wally, and Arrow and Canary have Roy. Why is this so different?"

"They're not cryptic creatures of darkness that express nothing emotionally except rage," Hal retorted, and Barry couldn't help but laugh.

"And we have a normal number of kids," Clark added a little sheepishly, "and we have wives to help out."

"Bruce Wayne is a single father to god knows how many kids."

"You don't know how many kids he has?" J'onn questioned.

"I think he has three?" Barry guessed.

"No, it's more than that," Clark corrected. "I've met at least four of them."

Attentions setred on Dinah and Oliver, who shared a look.

"Well, there's his oldest, Richard, who is a police officer in Bludhaven. . ." Oliver started.

"Batman's son is a cop? I feel like there's a joke there."

"Then there's Tim, my godson. He's almost completely taken over his role at Wayne Enterprises. And then there's Damian, the youngest, who just started high school."

"You forgot his daughter," Canary added, "and the Thomas boy."

"Right, and the blonde girl too. . .I think?"

"Jesus Christ. How many kids does one man need?" Barry shook his head in disbelief.

"Well, with his lifestyle. . ."Hal reasoned, a disgusted frown turning his lips, "ugh. . .nope. I don't like thinking about Batman like that. Are we sure this is real?"

"No. . .it makes sense." Oliver sounded utterly distraught at the admission. "The funding, the tech, the connections. . .it's the perfect cover. No matter how many connections there are, nobody would ever suspect Brucie Wayne."

"I just can't believe-"

"Father!"

They all looked back towards the screen. What looked like a child dressed as a traffic light had appeared behind Batman, seemingly out of nowhere.

"Who is that?" Barry whispered.

"Robin," Batman addressed the kid with a tired sigh.

"Father, I demand that you allow me to go on patrol tonight!"

"So which of his kids is this, Ollie?" Hal asked, "and do all of them dress like this or is it just a new fad?"

"Robin." Batman's voice rang clearly through the speakers. He sounded as if he had had this exact conversation several times before. "I thought we came fo an agreement."

"Our agreement didn't factor in potential Arkham breaks!"

"It's just the Riddler, Robin. The others have it handled."

"You don't know that! Are you really going to compromise the safety of Gotham for something so stupid?"

Bruce's jaw twitched. "Your high school career isn't stupid, Damian. We had a deal. No patrol during finals week."

"Oh my god, Batman's a dad."

"We already addressed this Hal!"

"I know but it just really hit me!"

"So which one is Damian?" Barry asked Dinah.

"The youngest. He's about fourteen, I believe."

"And what? He likes to play dress-up and fight crime with dear old dad?"

"I've met Robin before," Superman admitted, "He's friends with Jon, a force to be reckoned with for sure. I didn't realize that he was Batman's actual son or that he was so young."

"But, Kal, isn't Jonathan the same age?"

"Jon is half Kryptonian. Robin is only human. Besides, he's already been working alongside Batman for a few years."

"Hold up!" Barry started, "Wasn't Robin the name of the old Titans leader?"

"And of Young Justice, I remember now!" Wonder Woman's eye lit up. "But they couldn't possibly all be the same boy."

"Maybe it's a mantle?" Dinah suggested.

"So what?" Hal asked. "All of Bruce's kids take a turn at vigilantism and give it up when they reach a certain age?"

"Maybe they don't give it up," Dinah offered.

"Oh, come on! One is already stretching it. Surely we would know if Batman had an army of crime-fighting kids."

"Hal's right," Barry agreed, "It's already a miracle that we didn't know about all of this previously. Even Batman's not that good at keeping secrets. The other Robins must be a coincidence."

The argument between Batman and Robin suddenly reclaimed the League's attention as a new voice joined the fray.

"As much as I hate to say it Dames,"--A man a black and red suit and a solid red helmet walked on screen. The league gasped-- "B-man's right. Take it from someone who didn’t get to finish high school."

He pulled off the helmet and ran a hand through his hair. This time it was only Dinah and Oliver who gasped.

"Oh my god, that's-"

"Red Hood!"

"Jason Todd!"

"Who?"

"Jason Todd," Dinah explained breathlessly, "Bruce Wayne's son--the second one. He- he died a couple years ago, horrible accident, Bruce was distraught. It nearly destroyed him."

"But. . .he's not dead--obviously."

Oliver's eyes never left the boy on screen. "I- I don't understand."

"And the Red Hood," Clark added, "he's an infamous crime lord, why would. . ?"

They watched, dumbstruck, as Jason roughhoused with the brightly dressed Robin. The interaction seemed familial, brotherly, even.

"Jason," Batman's tone had shifted away from the frustration of the argument and now sounded cautiously gentle, "are you staying for dinner?"

"Oh, fuck no! I actually need to get out of here." Jason laughed as he dropped Damien from the chokehold he had him in. "Just needed to pick up a few files."

Batman nodded, his face revealing no emotion. "I understand. Have a good night."

Although Bruce's voice remained even, Jason must have picked up something the League didn't, because he suddenly looked guilty. "Hey, B, I'll. . .uhh. . .I'll come by tomorrow, alright? It's just. . .Roy isn't out of the cast yet." Oliver froze. Dinah frowned. "I promised I would help out with Lian."

"Oh my god," was officially the phrase of the hour as Oliver and Dinah added two more counts to the tally, and Hal added another when Batman smiled, actually smiled, at his son.

"Of course, I understand," the Dark Knight nodded at Jason. "Say hello to them for me, and bring them along for tomorrow's dinner."

"I will." Barry caught only a glimpse of Jason's smile before he replaced his helmet. "See ya B. Dames."

With that, the Red Hood exited stage right and Batman turned back to his younger son. "Damien, don't you have homework to do?"

Robin scowled, but begrudgingly turned to take his leave. "Goodbye Father."

Batman responded, "Bye, Chum," and turned back to his work, blissfully unaware of the way Green Arrow was staring at him as if Bruce had just delivered the greatest shock of he life, and, perhaps, Barry reasoned, he had.

"Roy knows the Red Hood," Oliver mumbled, eyes wild, "Roy knows the Red Hood and trusts him with his child. Roy knows and trusts the Red Hood who is Jason Todd, who is not only alive , but also invites him over for dinner, that I can only hope is held at Wayne Manor and not in the Batcave, with Bruce Wayne, my childhood best friend, who didn't tell me that he has been working with me for years as Batman or that he knows Roy and Lian!"

"Do you think Roy knows about. . .Jason and. . .everything. . ?" Barry asked cautiously.

"Who knows? I certainly don't know anything anymore!" Oliver collapsed, slumping over in his chair, burrying his face in his hands. Dinah rubbed his back comfortingly, though she herself looked as if she had seen a ghost. Which, to be fair, wasn't that far off from the actual situation.

"Jesus Christ, this whole thing can't get any weirder," Hal swore, and with that, three new figures walked on screen.

"Uhh. . .B?" The kid who spoke wore a sunshine-yellow, black, and white suit but no mask. He face was painted with a poorly concealed panic. "Hypothetically, if someone were to be blinded, how long would it take to figure out if it were permanent?"

Batman gave a distracted grunt. "It would depend on the method by which-" His head shot up and eyes narrowed. He spun around to face the boy. "What did you do?"

"What? Nothing! I did nothing!" The boy's expression quickly shifted to one of pure innocence, golden eyes wide and guiltless, and for a second, the Barry felt as if this boy could do no wrong. That is, until the blonde girl standing behind him scoffed.

"You liar!" She pointed a accusatory finger in the vague direction of the boy, but was noticeably off by a couple inches. "He fucking flashbanged me!"

The boy dropped the innocent act as quickly as he had adopted it. "In my defense," his eyes were still panicked, but his lips were twitching with amusement, "I thought it would be funny."

"It was funny." The third person, a girl with raven hair and ivory skin nodded sagely as she spoke.

"Ok, she's definitely Batman's daughter," Hal pointed out, "but who are the other two?"

"The boy is. . .something Thomas. Dean, maybe? He's Bruce's newest ward," Dinah supplied, "Ollie and I have met him a few times. The blonde girl I recognize, but I'm not sure if she is Bruce's or just a friend of the family."

"Some friend she must be, to be allowed into the Batcave," Oliver grumbled, and his wife hummed with sympathy.

On screen, Bruce finished examining the blonde's eyes. He heaved another sigh. "The effects should wear off soon. If not, you should talk to Alfred. No patrol for you tonight either way."

"Oh, boo!" The blonde huffed. "I'll get back at you for this Thomas, if it's the last thing I do!" She swore vengeance with a raised fist, before reaching in the direction of the dark-haired girl. "Lead me to the exit, Cass. I want to storm out dramatically."

Batman waited for the girls to leave before grunting. "Hn. Do I really need to ask you again not to use your powers to prank the others?"

"Powers?" Hal whispered incredulously.

Thomas chuckled awkwardly. "Y'know, B, that sounds like a really interesting conversation, it's just. . .look at the time!" He checked a wrist that was void of any sort of timepiece. "I really should get back to patrol. . ." He flashed Batman a cheeky grin and scurried away before the Bat could protest, leaving the Dark Knight alone with his work once more.

"You all heard that, right?" Hal questioned with a scoff of disgust. "That hypocrite! What the hell happened to 'no metas in Gotham'?"

"That's at least two others who've mentioned patrol," Clark pointed out, ignoring Hal's crashout. "Maybe we weren't so far off with that whole Robin thing. . ."

"I agree that this might indeed be the case, Kal, but why haven't we heard of any of them?" Diana asked in disbelief.

"Maybe we have," Barry offered with a shrug. "We all know about the Red Hood-- and the other Robins, for that matter. We just didn't know they were associated with Batman."

"And my son, apparently," Oliver reminded them, voice muffled by the way his face was pressed against the tabletop.

"Roy's always had his secrets," Dinah reminded him, her voice a steady contrast to her husband's wallowing, "He's proven to us that he has learned from his past. We need to trust him to make good choices for himself. We owe him that much."

"Canary is right," Clark placed a sympathetic hand on Oliver's shoulder, "But as a father, I understand your alarm. I'm not sure I would react much differently if it were one of my own boys."

As if on cue, a small crash sounded over the speakers, startling even Oliver out of his stupor.

Batman was on his feet in an instant, snatching up his cowl, but paused before putting it on.

"What is he looking at?" Oliver asked as Batman's attention fixated on something off screen. The defensive set of Bruce's shoulders dropped as he took a couple uneasy steps forward. He looked as if he were about to speak before.

"Batmaan! Heeeeyyyyyy~" The voice was pitchy and slured and only caused Batman's frown to deepen. He began to slowly approach the speaker as if they were an injured animal, only pausing at the sound of thudding footsteps

"Oh, thank god!" A new voice exclaimed. "Get back here! We need to- Oh fuck. Bruce, look, I can explain, I swear-" He was cut off by the sudden sound of gagging. "Oh, shit. Do you have a bucket? I think he's going to spew!"

Batman sprung into action, disappearing off screen in the direction of the voices. "There’s one by the lockers. You go grab it. I'll put him in my chair."

A figure dashed across the screen, bolting into the recesses of the cave. Batman reappeared a moment later, supporting a slumped figure that was leaning heavily into his side, feet dragging as he clumsily tried to walk. The majority of the figure was hidden by Batman's body, and Barry could only make out a head of dark hair and a tanned hand that gripped the Bat's arm.

"Heh. . .you're, like, really strong Batman. Are you-" his words morphed into another gag, and Batman had to catch him as he stumbled forward.

"You know I really shouldn't be doing this with my ribs the way they are," Bruce mumbled before readjusting his hold on the figure and, with a grunt, heaving him into his arms, bridal style.

"Wooahh!" The figure exclaimed, still hidden from view. "I think you're, like, stronger than my dad, 'cause, like, he doesn't carry me- Hey! Why are you carrying me? You don’t even like me!"

Batman used his foot to spin his chair around so that it's tall back faced the camera and set the boy down in it.

"Like, after everything with Rob, it thought you hated me."

Bruce sighed, reaching out to feel the boy's forehead, checking his temperature. "I don't hate you, kid, far from it."

"Oh. . ."

Bruce fussed over the boy in the chair, and shortly another dark-haired boy approached with a bucket, which was thrusted into the sick kid's lap.

"Did that bucket have a bat symbol on it?" Barry asked, and Hal snorted. "What is it? The bat-bucket?"

"That's Tim," Oliver pointed at the boy who had fetched the bucket, "my godson." He winced as the unseen figure bent over the bucket and wretched violently.

"Got it all up?" Tim asked the figure, masking a look of disgust. He recieved only a groan in response.

"Get all of what up, exactly?"

Tim winced under Batman's glare. "You know, that's not really important. . ."

Before Bruce could interrogate him further, his eyes caught on the sick boy's arm, which was draped limpy over the arm of the chair. He snatched it up instantly, and Barry could barely make out what looked like a stick-and-poke tattoo that Bruce was analyzing.

"Timothy. Jackson. Drake-Wayne." Batman growled, "I know you are not stupid enough to have done this."

"Uh. . .suprise?"

Batman dropped the arm, and the force of it was enough to spend the chair spinning, just enough that the sick boy was turned to face the screen.

"Kon?" Superman gasped, clutching his pearls in a move that would have made Barry laugh under any other circumstances.

As if he had heard his father, Kon looked up, blinking owlishly in the blue lights of the computer screens. He sluggishly raised his arm, holding it out towards Batman as to show off his fresh ink. "D'ya like it? Tim did it for me!" He grinned sloppily.

"Kon," Tim hissed, "you are really not helping my case here!"

Superman shook his head, face white as a sheet. Batman pinched his nose. "Ignoring. . .that for a moment, can you tell me how exactly he got into this state? Besides being repeatedly stabbed with a kryptonite needle of dubious origin, which I know you didn’t get from here because, last I checked, none of ours are hollow."

" 's not dubious," Konner insisted with a pout, " 's my birthday present!"

"What?" Superman whispered.

Batman pinned Tim beneath another piercing glare. "Explain. Now," he growled.

Tim sighed. "It's a long story- which of course I will tell you!" He amended quickly at the look on Bruce's face.

"So. . .uh. . .Kon doesn't really have a birthday, thanks to the whole clone thing."

Barry watched Superman out of the corner of his eye as Tim began his story, noting the way the Kryptonian clung to every word as if, despite the situation, any information about his son was precious.

"So I told him he should just choose a birthday," Tim continued, "so we could celebrate with Cassie and Bart and everyone--which we did--but he also thought it would be funny to mess with Lex a bit, since he's always on that 'public image of a perfect father' bullshit, and also because it's always funny to mess with Lex."

Barry found himself smiling, just a bit, at the kid's words. Beside him, he could feel Hal shaking with laughter.

"So Kon approaches him while he's at work, in front of some of his employees and everything, and casually mentions how he missed his birthday. He pulled up pictures of the party as proof, just hoping to embarrass him, because god knows Luthor's ego needs it.

"But the piece of shit just brushes him off with some lame excuse about being out of the country and hands him a wad of cash big enough to shut up anyone who witnessed the interaction. He didn't even bring it up again."

Clark's jaw twitched as his frown deepen further and further.

"Which was all I knew until he showed up today with the tattoo gun and he told me he commissioned Lex's kryptonite guy to make for him using the money. He said he might as well get something good out of the whole thing."

Batman scrubbed a hand over his face. "And this wasn't just another stupid attempt to make Luthor mad?"

"No! I mean, he'll probably be annoyed about it, but I doubt Lex will be that upset. Besides, Kon has been talking about finding a way to get a tattoo for ages. You know he's always looking for new ways to feel more like an individual. Besides, if anyone were to be mad about this, it would be Clark, but they've actually been on good terms recently."

One look at Superman's face all but confirmed the kid's admission. The Man of Steel was the perfect storm of anger, confusion, and dissapointment, though Barry wasn't sure if the emotions were directed towards Konner, Bruce, or Lex Luthor. Probably some of each, he supposed.

Tim glanced towards Kon, who was staring intently at what must have been one of Batman's computer screens, obviously distracted by whatever was on it.

"Look, don't tell sober Kon I said this," Tim smiled, "But he's actually been happy these past few times he's gone to stay with the Kents. It's kinda sweet."

It was no secret to the League that Clark and his sort-of son had a rocky relationship, Barry had even witnessed one of their legendary fights himself, but it was also obvious just how much Superman cared for the boy he had once ignored the existence of.

To the League, comprising of his closest friends and most trusted allies, Superman was an open book. No matter how hard he tried to hide it, his shame over his past treatment of the boy and overwhelming desire to make up for it were on full display.

And so Barry knew, without a doubt, that any negative feelings Clark had towards his son about what had just been revealed to them had been all but destroyed by Tim's words.

A small smile graced Superman's lips. Not his trademark boyscout grin, nor the awkwardly shy one of average reporter Clark Kent, but the pure, genuine smile of a father who loved his son.

Bruce, too, smiled and, to Barry's amazment, carded a gentle hand through Konner's hair. "I'm glad," the Dark Knight admitted, "he's a good kid."

Kon murmured something incoherent and leaned into the touch, eyes still glued to the screen in front of him.

"Yeah," Tim agreed, "and it saves me having to make sense of his half-baked schemes. We should write a book: How to Get Back at Both of Your Dads in Five Easy Steps."

"Hn. And how many of those steps include running away to Gotham City and piercing you ears using needles stolen from the Batcave."

Barry couldn't help but gasp. Wonder Woman raised an eyebrow in his direction, and Barry flushed, feeling as if he had been caught getting too invested in some reality TV show. "Sorry," he apologized, "it's just- I remember the day Supes came here the first time Superboy got those piercings."

Dinah nodded in understanding, obviously remembering that day as well. Clark had been exasperated and frustrated but mostly just confused. Batman had been there that day as well and hadn't said a word.

"Hey!" Kon's attention had also been grabbed by Batman's comment. "That fucking- that fucking worked! Y'shoulda seen 'is face. He couldn't- ugh. . .he couldn't even get that mad cause- hng. . . He couldn't figure out how I did it!"

"Konner Kent," Batman all but growled, pinching the bridge of his nose in frustration, "you are very lucky your father doesn't know who I am yet, otherwise this would be going very differently for you right now."

"Yet," Clark echoed, looking somehow more dazed than he had before.

"Kon wouldn't have had me give him the piercings if he didn't really want them," Tim defended with a sappy smile, "that's the thing about Kon. He doesn't commit to things he doesn't mean to."

"It doesn't matter if he wanted them or not. You still got grounded for it," Batman countered. "Just like how you're still getting grounded for this."

Tim sighed. "I know. . ."

"Now enough about 'sober Kon.' How did he end up like this?" His and migrated to Kon's upper back, where he rubbed comforting circles as the boy leaned over the bucket to throw up again.

"Voodkaaa!" Kon cheered when he had resurfaced."

Bruce raised an eyebrow. "Vodka?"

Tim winced. "I. . .uhh. . .may have borrowed a bottle to used as a sterilizer, and to have him take a shot, you know how Kryptonians are with pain." Hal laughed as Bruce nodded in stoic agreement, much to Clark's horror, "Well, I left him alone for a couple minutes, and when I got back he had help himself to. . .a little more than planned, which usually wouldn't affect him that much if it weren't for the-"

"Traces of Kryptonite in is system from the needle." Batman sighed in defeat. "Leaving him drunk and feverish."

"Exactly."

"You are very much grounded for this."

"Yeah, I know- oh! He may have also eaten an entire basket of chilli cheese fries beforehand as well, so thats where all of . . .this is coming from."

"Chilli cheese fries?"

"Yep."

"From that place by the docks?"

"Mhm."

"The one we know to be a front for several active crime rings we are currently investigating?"

"Hey! Don't look at me! I think that place is disgusting, but Duke and Steph got him hooked and now he won't stop eating there no matter what I say!"

"Alright. Fine." Frustrated resignation laced the Bat's voice. "Can you go get a cool cloth for his neck?"

"Can't I stay with him while you get it?"

"No. I'm not sure I can trust the two of you alone right now."

Tim groaned, "I guess that's fair. . ."

As his son left, Bruce pulled up an additional chair so that he could sit beside Konner. "How are you feeling, kid?"

"Uhg. . ."

"Yeah, I bet."

Clark leaned forward, concern for his son creasing his brow.

"Hey. . .uhh. . .Bruce?" Kon finally spoke again, though his words were slow and muffled. "Can I call you Bruce?"

"No."

"Hey, Bruce, I'm really," he sniffed, and suddenly his voice was thick with emotion, "I'm really glad you don't hate me."

Clark was obviously aching to track down and comfort Kon, and Barry couldn't blame him. The sight of the usually so rambunctious and defiant Superboy looking so vulnerable made his heart ache, but they both had to settle for watching Batman soothe the kid.

"Oh yeah," Batman asked the boy, "why's that?"

"Cause you're like. . .my second favorite dad."

"I think we all know what bald bastard he ranks above," Hal joked.

"He's not even you're dad, dumbass." Tim had returned with a yellow cloth (seriously was everything they owned themed?) that was promptly laid across the back of Konner's neck.

"Not yet he isn't," Kon grumbled, flinching away from the cold.

"Hold still, dummy! And what do you mean 'not yet'? Please don't say you want him to adopt you, because he will do it and I think becoming adopted siblings would make things weird between us."

"No, I mean- ugh. . ." He bent over the bucket again, and his voice became even more muffled, "I'm gonna marry the shit out of you."

Superman's jaw dropped. "Are they. . ? I didn't. . .he didn't tell me. . ."

Batman, on the other hand, was unfazed. "As much as I look forward to gaining you as a son-in-law, how about we save the marriage proposals for later, hm? Perhaps when we're feeling better?"

"Besides," Tim's face was flushed red, "I think B's going to have enough on his plate with one wedding."

That got Bruce's attention, and his head whipped around so quickly Barry swore his neck should be broken.

They watched as Batman titled his head in the way he always did when he was piecing together obscure clues none of them even noticed. The narrowed eyes must have been standard as well, but they had never seen them beyond the cowl before.

A few seconds later, he had reached his conclusion. "Flamebird?"

"Flamebird," Tim confirmed.

Barry felt his stomach drop.

He should have expected something, he realized. After everything with both Oliver and Clark, there was no reason he should have suspected he would be safe. "W-Wally?" He stuttered, "What does he have to do with anything?"

"I should have noticed," Batman continued, oblivious to the fact that he had systematically destroyed his colleagues' worldviews one by one. "What confirmation do you have?"

"Search histories." Tim shrugged as if stalking vigilantes online was a mere pass-time of his. "He's been researching rings, and not in the dreamy, lovesick way they've been doing since they started dating. He also googled 'romantic places Bludhaven' and 'romantic places Gotham,' the results of which are hilarious, by they way. I think Harles and Ivy wrote at least half of those blog posts."

Barry's heart began to race. His nephew, the boy he secretly considered as his own son, was planning a proposal and hadn't said a thing about it. He had known that he was dating someone, a guy Barry had met a couple times who worked for the Bludhaven PD, and- oh shit. His head began to hurt as he connected the dots.

"I'll have to speak with him when they come over on tomorrow," Batman said, ignoring the last bit of what his son had said.

"Why? You weren't serious about the hand-to-hand combat thing, were you? Because Kon nearly broke up with me when he heard about that, and I know for a fact Wally's more scared of you than he is."

"No. I'm going to offer him my parent's rings. If he intends to marry my eldest child, they are rightfully his." Barry felt his heart swell with sudden affection for the Bat.

"Don't let Damian hear you say that, he'll have a fit."

"Hn."

"Hey," Tim pulled up a chair of his own, "does this mean you're telling the League soon?"

"It's either that or wait for Barry to figure it out at the wedding, so I don't believe I have much of a choice anymore."

"That would actually be hilarious, but you should totally tell at least Superman first."

Batman looked at his son in confusion. "Why w-"

He was cut off by the sudden roar and cut of an engine, and a new figure walked on screen. The league recognized Nightwing immediately. Barry felt the last of the puzzle pieces fall into place. "My kid's dating Nightwing," he breathed.

"Hello family! How are we this fine afternoon?" He pulled off his domino mask, and Ollie cursed.

"Dick, I should have realized."

"Woah! What happened to SB?" Dick questioned, raising an eyebrow towards Tim.

"Chilli cheese fries. Kryptonite. Vodka."

"Oof, killer combo!" Dick tutted in sympathy. "I don't know what Duke and Steph see in that place by the docks."

"That's what I said!"

"Whelp, I was passing through and thought I'd stop. Y'know grab some coffee, hear the latest."

"No caffeine while Tim's here," Bruce said, "but I think there's protein shakes in the fridge."

Tim rolled his eyes while his brother raided the mini-fridge beneath Batman's desk. "I don't know why you're all treating me like an alcoholic. You don't have to give up caffeine ever time Alfred makes me do a detox."

"Yeah we do, Timbo." Dick had found himself and shake and half a sandwich. "Last time Jay drank a Zesti in front of you during one of these, you jumped him and broke into his apartment for the rest."

A loud snore came from Kon, and Bruce gently removed the bucket from his lap before the sleeping boy could topple it over.

"Anywho, what's the latest?" Dick took a large bite of his sandwich.

"B's going to tell the League his identity."

Dick coughed, choking slightly on his food. "Mph- that's great! Fucking finally!" He bumped his elbow against his father's arm. "Just make sure you tell Supes first."

"Thank you!" Tim agreed.

"Why exactly?" Batman questioned, frowning when both of his sons burst into laughter.

"Oh my god, are you serious?" Tim gasped.

Dick tore another bite out of his sandwich. "B- mh, I can'd belief I'm staying thish, but-"

"You do realize he's your best friend, right?" Tim finished for him.

Barry watched as Clark stiffened, watching the bat for his response.

"I don't have friends, I have-"

"Allies, acquaintances, and antagonists, we know," Dick mocked, minicking batman's rough voice almost flawlessly. "Except, you do, you have loads of friends."

"And you have a best friend," Tim continued, "and his name just so happens to be Clark Kent."

"And maybe Harles, too, but that's a whole different story."

"The point is, Superman is you best friend, so he deserves to know first."

"Besides," Dick reasoned, "The others have one connection to your ID at most, meanwhile both of the Superboys already know. Freaking Krypto had been to the cave before, it's kinda insane that no one has told him yet."

"I don't hear you saying the same about Green Arrow," Bruce grumbled.

"Kent didn't dig because he's polite," Tim pointed out, "Uncle Ollie's a nosy bitch. He has nothing to blame but his own lack of intellect for not figuring it out already."

Hal burst into laughter, and Barry couldn't help but join as Dick agreed, "Timbo's right, we've been dropping Uncle Ollie hints for ages, so that's a completely different set of circumstances." Oliver gaped in horror.

Batman sighed. "Fine. I'll tell Clark first."

"By the end of next week," Tim added.

"What?"

"If we don't set a deadline to hold you to, you'll never actually do it," Tim explained, "so you'll tell Clark by the end of next week."

"Hn. Fine."

Dick, who had finished his sandwich, now took a swig of his shake. He wiped his mouth with his sleeve before saying, "This is a good opportunity for growth. A chance for you to learn to open up more."

Bruce's jaw twitched with annoyance. "Hn."

"Oh shit he's mad," Hal hissed. Tim obviously agreed because he shot his brother a warning look.

Dick continued on, waving off his brother, "I know you're nervous about telling them after all this time, but if I know the JL, they'll understand. Probably freak out a bit, but they'll understand."

"Hn. If you know them."

Instantly, as if someone had switched a flip, the mood changed. Tim took a sharp intake of breath as his brother set his drink down.

"Yes," the annoyance was plain in Dick's usually sunny voice, "If I know them. Which I do, because, if you recall, I have worked with the Justice League on several occasions as Nightwing, a couple of times as Robin, and I've also worked with them as. . .oh, darn, what was that other one again? Oh! Right! As Batman!"

Barry looked at the rest of the League, all of which wore similar expressions of confusion. What did he mean by that?

"Hn. So you fill in for me a couple times and suddenly you know the League better than I do?"

"Oh? A couple of times, was it? And is this or is this not including the three years I had to spend pretending to be you, doing so well, in fact, that none of them even suspected that you were dead?!"

"What?" Diana gasped.

Bruce, who was winding up with a response, paused when Tim murmered something. "What was that, chum?"

"I said you weren't dead." He fixed Dick with a glare. "He wasn't dead."

Shame colored Dick's neck and face. "Sorry, Tim. Right, he wasn't dead." He pursed his lips. "Sorry, B. I know I don’t have as much experience with the league, but I just think that-"

"No." Bruce interupted firmly. "I'm sorry. You've worked with the league countless times, and you're an excellent judge of character, better than I could ever be. I shouldn't overlook that, especially since I know how much you hated holding the mantle. I was being unfair." He sighed, as if what he planned to say next physically pained him. "You're right. This whole affair has me. . .emotionally unsteady."

"Anxious, you mean," Tim corrected, "Of course you are, B. You've been keeping your identity, along with the rest of ours, under lock an key for ages."

"And for good reason too," Dick added, "I'd be more shocked if you weren't nervous."

"Hn."

The brothers shared a look before they both launched themselves at their father, wrapping him in an embrace that most definitely wasn't good for his busted ribs.

"Come here, ya big ol' softie," Dick spoke into his father's hair, and Bruce smiled despite himself.

"Aww," Dinah cooed, "Ollie, take a picture."

"This whole interaction has been one hell of an emotional rollercaoster," Clark muttered, and Barry found himself agreeing. Hadn't those two just been fighting?

After a couple minutes, Bruce asked, "Don't you have somewhere to be, Chum?"

"Holy smokes!" Dick sprang out of the embrace and began to collect his things. "Hey, have any of you guys threatened Wally recently? He's been acting weird."

"No," Tim yawned, also releasing his father, "but wasn't he talking to Damian at dinner last weekend?"

"That's right, he was." Dick pulled domino glue out of nowhere and began to replace his mask.

"If you'd like," Bruce offered, playing along perfectly with the story Tim had set up, "I could talk to Damien about it."

"Don't bother. Dami probably didn't even do anything. Wally just gets nervous around him sometimes." He ruffled Tim's hair before making his exit. "Welp, I'll see you guys later. Good luck with your detox, Timmers. Love you guys!"

As soon as his eldest had left, Batman turned to his other son. "Can you help me move Kon to the couch?"

"Sure." Tim yawned again.

The two of them transfered Kon to a dark leather couch that sat to the side of the computer setup. Tim sat down beside him while Batman disappeared off screen with the bucket.

By the time Bruce had returned with the evidently cleaned bucket, Tim had draped himself atop Kon and was as fast asleep as his partner. Batman set the bucket beside the couch and spread a blanket across the both of them before reclaiming his chair and returning to work.

Hal shook his head in disbelief. "This is so fucking wild, man."

The League looked amongst themselves, and one thing became abundantly clear to Barry: they were never going to look at Batman the same way again.

As the League attempted to process this sudden influx of information, Bruce worked quietly on screen. He only got a few minutes of peace before the blue lights of ths screens turned green and the familiar vouce of Oracle rang out. "Dick was right, B. Telling the League would have been a good opportunity for personal growth."

Batman looked up in confusion. "Oracle?"

"Unfortunately," she continued, "You crashed my new drone on it's first flight, so I took the liberty of taking things into my own hands."

"Oracle, what do you-" and then suddenly, Bruce Wayne, the Dark Knight, Batman, was looking at the League.

Not the computers, not in the vauge direction of the camera. No. He was looking at the Justice League. Exactly how he did during a meeting, except now, instead of a cowl, he wore the mussed hair and eye bags of a working dad, the baby blues and perfect cheekbones of Gotham's hottest bachelor, and the purely horrified expression of someone who had just been found out.

Once again, Hal was the one to speak first. "Hey, Spooky. . ."

For the first time in decades of collaboration, of fighting the unimaginable and facing death together, the Justice League watched as Batman froze up.

"Uhh. . .Batman?" Barry was struck with a sudden pang of guilt. "You can hear us, right?"

"Bruce?" Clark tried when Batman still didn't repond.

Bruce flinched. "How long have you been watching?"

"Since the meeting ended," Diana admitted truthfully.

Batman burried his face in his hands. "Oracle, you have really outdone yourself. . ."

"I know! Now, fun as this has been, the girls and I have an Arkham break to deal with, and you need to talk with your friends. Especially Robin Hood over there. I think he's having some sort of medical emergency." With a not-needed-except-for-the-dramatic-effect click, Oracle signed off the feed.

Tense silence overtook the League.

"Bruce. . ." Oliver said through gritted teeth, "I hope you know it is taking me a lot of will-power for me to not drive over to that damn manor and deck you myself. That, and the sheer hope that cave of yours isn't where I think it is."

The lack of mask must have done something to Batman because he cracked a wary smile. "I think you know that it is, Ollie."

"Motherfucker!"

Barry held up his hands. "Wait, wait, wait! Arrow. . .you know where the Batcave is?"

"It's in that damn cavern under the manor! We used to go splunking there during weekends away from school!"

Batman laughed, a sound that somehow horrified Barry. "You've actually have been here more recently," he admitted.

"What-?" Oliver's jaw dropped in sudden realization. "The basement."

"A weapons storage room. It's right off the main part of the cave," Batman explained, "That crate you helped Tim with was full of confiscated ammo."

"He said they were antiques from his parents! He pulled that card! My own godson pulled the dead parents card on me!" Green Arrow was on a rampage now. "And Dick! Oh. . .I should have known he was Nightwing. No two people could possibly love puns that much, and-" he shook his head in horror, "he made Batman puns. So. Many. Batman puns! As Dick! About you! And Jason! He's alive? How? Why didn't you tell me? Was I just supposed to meet him as my granddaughter's. . .babysitter, or whatever he is?"

"I think we both know he's more than just her babysitter."

Oliver looked as if he were going to pass out.

"Yes," Dinah interuppeted, "Speaking of our children.. . .

"Kon obviously knows," Clark said, "but the others?"

"Jon, Wally, and Roy all know as well," Batman confirmed. "But I would like to assert that I never forced them to keep my secrets for me. They made that choice for themselves because they are all respectful, good kids."

Barry couldn't help but feel a twinge of pride with his nephew.

"God, I can't process this all right now," Hal groaned. "I say we call it a day and interrogate the Bat on Monday."

"That sounds like a wonderful idea," Diana consented, looking a bit dazed.

"Maybe it's for the best," Dinah agreed, casting a worried look at her husband.

"There’s no way in hell I'm waiting until Monday!" Oliver pointed a finger at Bruce. "I will be seeing you tomorrow, asshole."

Bruce smiled. "I'll tell Alfred."

"Fine!" Oliver stood up dramatically and stormed out of the meeting room.

With a roll if her eyes, Dinah followed him. "See you tomorrow, Bruce."

Hal followed shortly after, muttering incoherently to himself. Barry suspected he would be hearing about this the whole weekend.

Clark cleared his throat. "If you don't mind, I'll come pick up Kon?"

Bruce nodded. "Just come to the manor, Alfred will let you in."

Clark nodded numbly as he left.

"I am glad to learn these new things about you, Batman," J'onn spoke for what felt like the first time in ages, "though I do not fully understand, I can tell by our colleagues' reactions that this was significant. Thank you for sharing with us."

"Of course, J'onn. And I apologize for not telling you myself."

Martian Manhunter nodded as he left the room, and Barry was left alone with the Dark Knight.

"I guess we'll been planning a wedding together," he sighed, "Holy shit, I never thought I would say those word to Batman."

Bruce smiled. "That is, if your kid can work up the nerve to propose."

"With the way he talks about your son, I have no doubt he will. I just hope you're prepared to argue with Iris over color schemes."

"I'm sure we can come to an agreement." Bruce smiled. At Barry. What had the world come too?