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Bdubs isn't a bitter person, they swear they aren't. Especially when it comes to family and love.
They are kind, they are peaceful, they are the embodiment of love. They are anything but bitter.
…
Okay, maybe they are a little upset about Cozy's birth. Just a little bit.
But who can blame them? When it's been three long years of trying everything to get Tango pregnant. Years that came up empty.
Impulse gave in after two, the toll hard on his mind, but Bdubs is a stubborn person and refuses to back down no matter what.
Which is why they're here at Dr. Slumber's agency. They'd been recommended it by Scar and Pearl after its work with them. Maybe they could find the issue.
This is actually their second appointment, the first had been to talk and run over a few tests. Some of these tests involved prying open Bdubs and Tango's code, something that made the former deeply uncomfortable, but it was what was needed.
So now they sit in Dr. Slumber's office, waiting all too impatiently for their questions to be answered.
The doctor, a frosty coated galeborn-creeper hybrid that towered like a warden but was as gentle as a rabbit sits before them. They click around on their ancient computer for a moment before turning to them.
"So, sometimes when it comes to trying to have a child, it can be only one member of the pair." Dr. Slumber starts off.
"What do you mean?" Tango asks.
"What I mean is that you're fertility stat — something rated on a percentage — is high enough to not worry too much about." They then turn to Bdubs. "Yours, on the other hand, isn't.
"Sir, from what I see here, your fertility stat is low." Dr. Slumber explains. "Very low."
"What? Me?" Bdubs asks urgently. "No, it can't be. You've got something wrong."
"I know it can be hard to believe," The warden doctor explains, "but sometimes we have low stats. Either from RNG or inherited from parents.
"If I may ask, it says on here that you have no true parents." Dr. Slumber goes on. "Is that because you spawned in or do you not want to say?"
Bdubs shuffles, looks around the room for a moment before nodding. "Yeah, I spawned in, so what?"
"Some spawned nature spirits find it harder as they grow older to reproduce. See, due to starting out from a plant and nothing else, their fertility stat begins at 50% or even lower." Dr. Slumber explains politely. "No one's sure exactly why, just that it is common."
"So, what, 'cause I'm a spawned dryad it means I'm infertile now?" Bdubs asks pointedly.
"I wouldn't say 'infertile' per se." Dr. Slumber drawls. "Just poor fertility. Luckily, it can be boosted through a few methods. Medicine, code operations—"
"I'm not letting anyone operate on my code." They grumble.
"Bdubs." Tango warns sharply.
"What? I'm just sharing my opinion!" Bdubs exclaims.
"Yes…" Dr. Slumber drawls. "We can discuss this another time if you're too overwhelmed now."
"I would actually like that." Bdubs huffs with their arms crossed.
"Bdubs…" Tango groans.
— ❁ - ❁ - ❁ —
The ride home is quiet, anxiously so. Bdubs' head is heavy, swarming with thoughts.
It's late by the time they get back to their home server, the same server Laika was hatched on.
They flop onto the couch after dinner, Laika put to bed as they stare off into the fireplace.
"It's all my fault." Bdubs chokes out, not wanting anymore of the bitter silence.
Tango stays quiet, the only sound from him being a sigh.
"What, you're not— not gonna say anything?" They snap, though try to sound playful. "Reassure me for heaven's sake!"
"I can't when you're not exactly wrong." Tango says before sighing. He drags one clawed hand through silvery blonde curls, looks away from Bdubs, and bites his lip. "You know me, Bdubs. Too honest to be gentle and kind."
"You can at least be caring." Bdubs huffs.
Their hoof taps against the ground as they bounce their knee. Arms are folded over their chest.
"You know… I've noticed my rack getting smaller—" Bdubs pauses before eyes going wide. "My antlers! I mean my antlers!"
"I know, Bdubs." Tango smiles slightly, but not enough to be reassuring.
"Y— yeah. But I— Well, I've been noticing them getting smaller with each growth." Bdubs explains as they scratches at their palm. "I— I just thought 'maybe I'm still fertile' or 'maybe I'm not too old yet'.
"To think it took so long to have Laika and it was all 'cause of me…" Bdubs chokes again.
Tears threaten to break them, but Bdubs holds back.
"I just— I just wanted another kid. Is that too much to ask from the world?" Bdubs sobs. "Is that too much?"
Tango reaches out a hand, takes Bdubs' in his own, and squeezes it lightly.
"There's still a chance we can figure this out, remember?" Tango says in a too gentle sort of way. "Things that can up your RNG for fertilification."
"You really think it'll work?" They asks through sniffles.
"It worked for Scar." Tango says with a smile.
"But I don't want IVF, Tango!" Bdubs objects. "I want to do this naturally."
Their partner sighs and shakes his head. "But the 'natural way' hasn't been working."
"You don't know that!" Bdubs objects. "What if— what if there's a way out there to increase my stats? Bring them back up enough? What then?"
"Would you prefer a route like that?" Tango asks as he smooths a thumb over Bdubs' knuckles. "It might mean taking more meds than you already do."
"Anything for you. Anything for us." Bdubs declares.
"Alright. Then I'll make another appointment and we can tell the doc." Tango says with a nod.
Bdubs wraps Tango into a tight hug. Holding him close and not letting him go as they lean their head against the netherborn's shoulder.
"I love you so much, Tango." Bdubs cries into his shoulder.
"I know, Bdubs." Tango replies.