Chapter Text
There is a time during death when the heart begins to stutter to its stop.The body falls into rigor mortis, freezing you into place as you take your final breaths. Your blood runs cold and empty as you slip into the awaiting abyss.
But as far as he knew, Thorne wasn’t dying.
He was a perfectly healthy 22 year old; he went to the gym regularly, ate healthy (when he remembered to do so), he even took time out of his day to take care of himself both internally and externally. And yet, he felt as his heart began to constrict in his chest, his drink freezing halfway towards his mouth just as the rest of him went rigid. Even a shudder had coursed through him, despite the August heat.
The conversation around him had drowned out around him, fading into a dull hum. His focus had shifted from Scarlets story about her summer spent with Wolf at her farm to the opposite side of the party. The side where the music wasn’t as loud and the drinks were mostly just watered down alcohol— the lame side as he liked to call it.
Some of his friends were seated over in that section though, both Winter and Jacin were occupying the many seats that surrounded the coffee table. Their conversation meddling with those around them. Winter, herself, was indulged in an ever growing talk with another friend of his, one that had undoubtedly caught his attention the moment she entered the party earlier that evening.
Cress was seated against one of the couch’s armrest, her legs crossed over the other, the sundress that she would normally wear had ridden up against her thigh. Leaving the exposed skin for all the room to see. Her short hair was pinned in a half-due, the front pieces framing her face so that it gave herself more of a heart shaped look. Whatever makeup she had donned this evening made her blue eyes shimmer under the light, even her freckles were dotted so perfectly across her nose that Thorne had thought God himself had painted them on.
But it wasn’t her that made whatever it was in his body choke him up. It would never be Cress that would give him this fright, but instead the guy that was seated beside her.
A man sat on the couch at Cress’s side, he wasn’t anyone that Thorne had seen around, at least on the campus. He sat with his body facing her, open enough to where he could easily listen to what she had to say while also tune into anything else around them. Though while he really didn’t look all that threatening and he wouldn’t have batted an eye at someone sitting that close to Cress— lot of people sot her out, her genuine kindness latching onto anyone’s sole with ease — it was his arm that was placed around her back, the hand attached finding solace on the now exposed skin of her leg.
Thorne couldn’t think of anyone outside of their little friend group that had ever touched Cress that way. Maybe her father or someone that close to her, but even then he knew who they were. At least they weren’t some complete stranger that appeared to be latched onto her like they were special to her.
Someone began to tap at his head, forcing his attention back to his own friends. “Are you even listening to me?” Scarlet asked, taking her finger back once he’d finally faced them.
Thorne blinked once, trying to desperately recall what exactly they’d been talking about before Cress and that guy had caught his attention. “Yes?”
“I can’t believe you,” Scarlet yelled over the music, though apparently not loud enough to draw any attention. “You ask me how my summer was, and then the second I start to talk you completely ignore me.”
In his peripheral, he could make out Wolf nodding along, though Thorne was pretty sure he would start barking if Scarlet were to ask him. “Uh-huh.” He clicked his tongue, his attention darting track to Cress and her new friend before darting back to Scarlet and wolf.
Could he ask them about the guy? Would they even know? He knew that Wolf probably didn’t care about him, but Scarlet was close to Cress, if anyone where to know about some new guy it would be one of the girls. And luckily for him one of them was right at arms length. “That’s great Scarlet, really. I’m glad you’ve had an amazing summer with your boyfriend and all but…” Throne subtly gestured towards the other end of the room, avoiding looking back over that way in case they were also watching them. “Do you happen to know who that guy is over there, with Cress?”
Both Scarlet and Wolf turned in the direction, their eyes dancing between Cress and the guy whose hand was still wrapped around her lower body. Scarlet glanced back over towards Thorne, being sure to raise her voice as shouts came from the kitchen, “I think that’s the guy that she’s was seeing over the summer.” She answered, like it was the most obvious thing in the world.
For the second time that night, Thorne felt as his body went into takedown mode. “The guy she’s been what?”
“Yeah? You know like dating, having sex—“
“Sex?” He’d shouted, this time the people around then glanced over from what they were doing, but Thorne couldn’t find a single bone in his body that would care about what they thought.
“I don’t know,” Scarlet shouted back, turning away from the on lookers before continuing. “I haven’t been that included in their relationship.”
“I’m surprised you didn’t know,” Wolf spoke up for the first time, sloshing his drink around in the red cup. “I thought you two were pretty close.”
“We were—we are! We are super tight together, we’re practically conjoined.” He fell off with an awkward laugh, his mind reeling with this new information he was given.
He wasn’t totally lying when he said him and Cress were close, they’d spent many months traveling around the world together. Just the two of them. So, he’d known every little secret that’s she’s harvest and her in return of his. Even the little crush that she had had on him, she’d confessed with open trust and confidence that he wouldn’t tell another soul.
But this past summer, Cress had wanted to try something different. So, instead of the road trip that he’d planned for just the two of them, she’d asked if she could travel with Iko in Paris for the summer instead. He was a little heart broken, don’t get him wrong. He’d spent days on what they would do over the trip, perfecting it because that’s what Cress deserved, nothing but perfection from him and those around her. But he still sent her away with the best of luck and hopping that she would find something fun to do with without him.
He hadn’t thought that she would find someone to do instead.
And maybe she’d found someone else to spill all of her secrets to, maybe she’d found someone that had actually reciprocated their feelings towards her instead of just laughing off and claiming its just a crush. Instead of just telling her it would pass and that she would find a better guy than him. Someone that actually deserved her like all of those fairytales that she day dreams about.
And now it seems that she has found her fairytale guy; her happy ever after.
It just didn’t involve Thorne.
It made him feel hallow inside, like someone had actually ripped his heart out of his chest.
No, he was getting ahead of himself, this was probably just a silly crush between the two and it would pass when school actually starts. He clearly didn’t look like he was enrolled at this college, if he was then he would have at least recognized him a little. Yeah. A crush. A silly little fling that didn’t really mean anything. It will pass, eventually.
It has too.
“Well,” Thorne began, after having found his voice. “That’s good for her. She’s finally getting out there, maybe then she won’t be attached at my hip any more.”
His joke was met with a shared glance between both Scarlet and Wolf, his dying laughter be the only thing filling the growing silence. “Thorne, are you alright?”
He let out a sharp laugh, “Me? I’ve never been better, truly, watching her grow out of her comfort zone is so…” He snapped his fingers a few times, trying to come up with a word that didn’t involve horrid or disappointing.
“Easing?”
“Yes, see Scarlet I always knew you had a beautiful brain under all that hair.”
She rolled her eyes, but was quick to come back in a neutral tone. “Honestly Thorne, I’m surprised you two haven’t gone at it all this time.”
“Who me and Wolf,” he asked, the latter man shooting his head up with a dead panned expression. “I didn’t know you were into that kind of stuff, Scar.”
“No, you know who I’m talking about.” She said. “Actually all of us kinda thought you and Cress were already dating.”
Again, Thorne had let out a laugh, but this time it muddled with his thoughts at what his friend had just said. “What? No, Cress is a very close friend of mine.” He wheeled his head between the two. “I would never take advantage of her like that.”
“I don’t think it would be so much as taking advantage of her.” Wolf chimed. “It would be more like doing something about the situation.”
“What situation?”
“Well,” Scarlet began, glancing once more at her boyfriend who just shrugged his shoulders as if to say ‘what’s to harm?’ “We’ve always known that Cress has been kind of a hopeless romantic, so it was kinda obvious when she had her crush on you.”
Thorne felt his body constrict, he’d never told anyone Cress’s secret, never told anyone about how he’d ached with the knowledge that Cress was practically in love with her and he couldn’t do anything about it.
“And we, kinda, noticed all the times that you would look at her when she’s not paying attention.” Scarlet continued.
“Or how you always have to touch her when she’s in arms reach.” Wolf added.
“There is also the times that you—“
“When the hell did this become about me and my love life.” Thorne practically shouted, his chest pounding and ears burning that his own secret, one that he’d never even told Cress, was somehow known by all of his friends too.
“So you admit it?” Scarlet asked, her voice pitching lower in case someone was listening, though at this point the whole room could have known.
“Admit what?”
“That you are in love Cress?’
“I- this isn’t even about,” He took in a shuddering breath, suddenly feeling as though his body was giving out on him. “What does it matter? She clearly doesn’t like me anymore.”
“Thorne maybe we should talk somewhere else?” Scarlet pondered, reaching out to take his shoulder but he just shook it off.
“I never wanted to push anything onto her, that’s why I told her to forget about her little crush in me because I’m not a good guy.” Wolf had taken his arm and was now dragging him through the party, Scarlet close behind as she grabbed some more alcohol from a nearby table. “I mean I steal, I lie, I’ve used plenty of girls just to get what I want and she doesn’t care. She tells me everyone has something about them that’s bad, but she didn’t care because I have my reasons.
Wolf shoved him into an unoccupied bathroom, Scarlet closing the door with her foot and swiftly locking it behind her as Throne continue to rant.
“I knew I wasn’t good enough for her but she didn’t care, she always try’s to see the good in people but I don’t get it. I have no good to give to her.” He was flailing his arms around, pacing back and forth in the crowded bathroom. “Then she finally dropped it, she never brought it up after that night. And we were good we were normal again, not some stupid teenagers that were about to ruin an amazing friendship over a few lousy feelings.”
“Thorne if your this bothered by it maybe you should—“
“And she’s just so sweet, she’s so nice and like I’ve said she sees the good in people and their actions. And I guess I started to— I started to feel the same way, which is something I don’t do.” He slumped down on the lowered toilet seat his head buried in his hands. “I’ve only ever cared about a girls looks before, about how they would be beside me rather than how they thought. And then Cress comes along and she’s smart and so very beautiful, but she also has such a wonderful way of life that it makes me want to be apart of it too. To be apart of her.”
He finished off with a heavy sigh, his deepest secret that he’s kept from everyone including himself was hanging in the air between him and his friends. He couldn’t even look them in the eyes as they shuffled around him, he could feel Scarlets hand running across his back and Wolf was somewhere in the room and although he wasn’t touching him he could still feel the care he kept for what he had to say.
“Thorne,” Scarlet began, waiting until he looked up at her until she continued. “If you care this much for her then you have to talk to her. Keeping it bottled up is just going to crush you in the long run.”
“No, I can’t tell her, it will crush her—it will crush me. Hell seeing her with that guy alone is crushing me right now.” He leaned back against the toilet, his hands dripping towards the floor on both sides of him. “She looks happy, he looks happy. And as much as it kills me I can’t just try and break them up because I suddenly have feelings for her after she’s already moved on.”
No one spoke. Scarlet was still at his side but she wasn’t touching him anymore, instead she was busy playing with the bottles of alcohol she’d brought in. Wolf was leaned up against the door, he wasn’t meeting Thornes eyes but there was thought there. And Thorne himself felt beat. Maybe he truly was dying, maybe he’d gone to Hell for all he’s done and this is the punishment he’d receive in return.
“If the relationship is serious, then Thorne you will have to let her go.” Scarlet acknowledged, now her and Wolf were refusing to met his gaze. No doubt the both of them having regretted even bringing up the idea of him and Cress completely.
“I want to see her happy, more than anything.” Thorne stood up, the party mood was casted out of him the second he laid eyes on Cress and her new boyfriend. All he wanted to do now was go to sleep, or maybe fix up his car to try and get rid of all the thoughts that raced in his head . “That’s why I take her on all of those trips, why I listen to everything she says and try to steal her things she likes. I just want her to be happy, and if it’s with that guy, then so be it.”