Work Text:
This should have been easy.
You walk in, offer the resident living here a nice travel offer, so that they won't be here by the time the Detective gets here.
Yet you are still standing outside, battling with the doors.
"HEY! What are you doing here!?" Great. Now you have to deal with this idiot.
"Thought we discussed this before, I give the person under the last address an offer they shouldn't logically reject, they get out of here before they can get investigated, leaving the detective with less information, but obviously you can't just listen to any of our plans for once in your life." You really wish they were the last person, just so you could get them away from you.
"I try to cover for you, and this is how you repay?"
"How can you be covering for me WHEN YOU DIDN'T SAY THE ROLE I WAS PRETENDING TO BE! THE ONLY REASON YOU WEREN'T ARRESTED IS BECAUSE THERE IS A BOUNTY ON YOU! ONCE-"
"And the fact that you "tried" to shoot me" Landlord interrupted. "Stop acting like you are above everyone else. You had a bunch of time to change and pretend to be someone else, yet you choose not to do that."
""A bunch" still wasn't enough to try and fix your stupid mistake! You would know if you tried to be convincing, instead of depending on others to back you up!"
"I know it takes less than getting here and having a proper conversation with someone, yet here you are. What would you do if the detective walked in before you could finish your job?"
"Surely I could manage to do it. Even now, after you wasted so much of my precious time, they would still not be here in time to stop me."
Before they could speak, both of you heard someone coming. Landlord decided to check who that was.
"Still want to try? You have less than a minute before you get caught." They said smugly. God, why did you have to jinx it.
"Just let me in there!" Why did you waste so much time arguing with that moron. Everything would have gone smoothly, but no, someone had to prove their superiority over you.
They finally gave you the keys. "Remember, if Detective finds out I work for the syndicate, they will come for you too, so be quiet" They whispered, while you opened the doors and ran into the house.
You thought that you would meet with the person living here. That they would (understandably) panic, while you would need to keep them quiet. You wanted to be here earlier, so you could talk to them without anyone hearing them panic. Thankfully, they weren't near the entrance when you came here, but you will have to wait before you can search for them.
"Hi partner" Landlord quickly got into character. Since you can't do your job, you might as well listen to their conversation.
"Are you aware that the information you gave me is wrong? Almost arrested you. Still a chance I'm just talking to an underling." You could imagine the Detective dragging a cigarette. Then, you heard footsteps.
"Oh, the doors are locked. I already checked." You realized you forgot to lock the doors. For once they did something useful. You put the keys in the lock as quickly as you could without them jingling and twisted them, right before they tried to open the door.
"No use being here any longer" The detective said to themself "Shouldn't waste any more time. Not while they are still on the loose."
Finally, they were gone.
You started searching for the owner. You thought you could easily find them, yet they were nowhere to be found. After a few more round around this place, you figured out what happened.
"So, how did it go? Did they reject your nonsensical offer?" Did they do this out of spite or stupidity?
"Nobody was there. You probably locked them out and they decided to go elsewhere. So don't criticise my work when you can't even do yours."
"Oh please, you are just trying to safe your ego" Hypocrite.
"If you don't believe me, then go see for yourself." You pushed them into the building.
You sat on a sofa, watching them search for someone you knew wasn't here. After some time, they joined you.
"Offer so good they didn't even have to hear it to take it" You joked. They didn't appreciate it. "Now that my work is done, I can finally relax."
Both of you made yourselves home, ignoring the possibility of the owner coming back. But of course, someone had to ruin your fun, just not them.
"WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE!" The detective came in with 2 pairs of handcuffs. Everyone already knew you were getting arrested. Not only for being a part of the syndicate, but also for breaking in.
Well, it was fun while it lasted.