Chapter Text
Had he made a mistake deviating?
Connor didn’t like having that question in his head for the exact same reason it had taken root in the first place. Whenever the thought would whisper unbidden into his mind, a sickening mould of guilt would grow and spread. It would take hold of anything else currently in his head, spotting and leaching the energy from every new thought to spread and corrupt further. Pondering on whether he should have deviated or stuck to his programming would sometimes crash into his routine like a truck, freezing Connor almost physically before he could rein it back in.
That nauseating guilt would warp and weigh on him as he tried to factually go through his newly memorised list of why it had been in fact the right choice to make. Connor hadn’t shot Markus. He’d warned Jericho about the ambush and had put forth the idea of how to find more androids for the protest. He had managed to save Hank from sixty and had helped lead reinforcements to end what is now known as the android revolution.
Even before then in ways not quite so revolutionary but much more troubling had been returning that fish to water and choosing to not shoot Chloe. Those had been choices. Connor’s choices that did not aid the investigation in anyway, impeding it in fact. Connor shouldn’t have been able to make choices back then and now they overwhelmed him.
Connor could choose.
He was expected to choose.
With deviation created choice, but following choice now was emotion, reaction. Emotions Connor could not fully grasp at times to the point that newer and more mixed emotions would stem off them. But he had not had the time to explore them, to feel them. Too busy trying to step around Jericho, eggshells under his feet as he tried to help without showing his deviant hunter face too often. Trying to get laws passed and applications through to be allowed to even step foot into the police department again. That one was still ongoing with Connor only being ‘hired’ as an android consultant which was a whole new path of emotions.
With good emotions, like the relief of the revolution being won and over, came the bad ones too. Emotions that would always be present because Connor now had the ability to choose.
To choose how to react and proceed in every aspect of his life now without the presence of prompts and objectives in the corner of his HUD. Choices that stirred emotions before and after each one no matter which outcome came to pass. An endless loop of emotions, choices, emotions, choices emotions choicesemotionschoice-
Sometimes Connor wished he could just turn it off.
That he could just know what to do for once and without having the ever present seesaw of satisfaction, guilt, dread, tranquility that ebbed and flowed without rhyme or reason. And then that would do a full circle back to the question he didn’t know why wouldn’t leave him.
Had he made a mistake?
Then it would cycle around and around over and over never coming to conclusion without knowing what answer he was actually searching for.
That’s where Connor found himself now. Sitting heavily on the office chair with his chin in his palm. His white shirt was wrinkled with dirt smudging up his side and the collar open askew from when he’d lost his tie. His jacket had been soaked, dripping water onto the DPD carpet floor where it hung from the back of his chair. His hair wasn’t fairing much better. He could feel the droplets of water slide down from temple, cheekbone to chin before finally dripping onto the desktop where a small puddle was reflecting his spinning yellow LED.
“What a fucking shitshow! You cannot be serious right now!” Connor could only close his eyes as he heard Hanks voice even through the doors of Fowlers office. “We wouldn’t be doing this if it was a few months ago!” The shouting continued and Connor decided to lower his auditory receptors till the voices turned into muffled white noice.
[AUDITORY PROCESSORS ADJUSTED: LOW]
He didn’t know if that was better or worse, the lack of stimulating noise making it easier to think. Easier for the mould to continue to grow once more as the cycle started once more. Connor pressed his fingers into his cheek, drumming a pattern just to do something other than sit here and think.
Bored and eventually opening his eyes they locked onto one of the few lamps left on at someone’s desk, its light too little to brighten the environment. The shadows were still long and the stillness was reminiscent of a ponds surface before disturbance.
Cold, dark and damp.
But soon a stone, no a boulder was launched into the motionless atmosphere as Hank slammed the office door open. The glass rattled in its pane and Connor marvelled at the fact it hadn’t shattered with the force.
[AUDITORY PROCESSORS RESET: DEFAULT]
His gaze had slid over to the fuming man without turning his head. Maybe if Connor stayed still enough, quiet enough, he would remain unnoticed and safe from the boiling heat of Hanks anger. But alas, Connor was not and would have to claw his way out of the stagnant motionless he’d put himself into when the older man called over.
“Come on Connor, I’ve got better things to do tonight than listen to any more of this bullshit.”
Connor had still heard the bite in the lieutenants words and despite knowing full well Hank did not have anything planned tonight, he followed. Grabbing the wet jacket and folding it over his arm, Connor had to hurry his steps to catch up to the lieutenant outside.
Not wearing the jacket had been a mistake since as soon as Connor had stepped out the door the rain was making quick work with the rest of his clothes. By the time he got into the passenger side of Hanks Oldsmobile he could see through the shirts material sticking to his form and analyse the cold battling to bring his internal temperature down.
The next five minutes were hellish. Dragging on for what seemed forever while Connor watched the seconds tick by on his internal chronometer. The only sound was the engine working, the rain slamming into the windscreen and the road passing under wheel as Hank drove to his house. The man’s grasp on the steering wheel was extreme and when the five minute and twenty-four second mark passed he finally spoke up.
“Tell me what happened.” There was a gravel to the older man’s voice either from the shouting match earlier or some still pent up irritation. He didn’t even look at Connor, eyes set in a dark glare to the road.
“You were there lieutenant, I don’t thi-“
“I know I was there Connor, dammit!” A hand came down on the steering wheel, the quick impact echoing within the small space. “I’m asking what happened from your perspective.”
Connor’s mouth shut with a metallic click and he turned to stare out the window, streets still well lit this far into the city.
“We were following up on a suspect. A caucasian man, five foot seven who had been questioned a week prior. New evidence revealed more information and Fowler sent us out to question the suspect again.”
The blue LED was reflecting off the car window, the light spinning as details from earlier that day were brought forward. Connor opened his mouth but this time Hanks voice passed from his lips.
“Grant Pestron? This is Lieutenant Hank Anderson from the police department, we have a few follow up questions to ask.” Hanks simmering anger gave way for a moment as he heard his own voice. He was about to protest but wasn’t given the chance as Connor continued in another male voice. This one was just as low but a lot smoother, a slight drawl pushing through at the end of each word.
“Lieutenant Anderson…and who might this be?”
It could be called disturbing hearing two distinctly different voices that weren’t Connor’s coming from the androids mouth. Connor himself didn’t look all too pleased doing this either, gaze tracking each lamp post as it passed before locking onto the next.
“Connor, he is currently acting as our consultant but that’s not any of your business. I’m here to ask more questions about your past em-“
“I don’t feel like talking with plastic around, would you mind…?” Hank remembers the guy had pointed back into the apartment, nodding his head to indicate inside like Hank wouldn’t mind leaving Connor to wait like a dog.
He also remembers getting pissed off at that point after having promised himself he’d be good. The other man must have seen his expression which led to the next sequence of events, Connor narrating in his own voice once again.
“Suspect…Grant slams the door and noises inside indicate he’s making a run for it. Analysis indicated that the course of action most likely to end in our favour would be for me to give chase since I am statistically faster. This route had a 83% chance of succeeding.”
Connor can hear Hank sighing, a harsh long exhale through the nose. Glancing over and a quick scan shows a decrease in cortisol indicating that talking through these events is giving Hank a chance to focus and calm down. His grips wasn’t quite so white knuckled and Connor could see him taking purposefully deeper breaths.
“Then what happened Connor. I lost you when you stupidly vaulted over the staircase railing.”
Connor’s LED flashes yellow and circles once than twice as he pulls on the saved memories from earlier that day.
He had heard glass shattering and the rattle of metal indicating Grant was using the fire escape to exit. Connor knew he had to get to Grant before he reached the bottom of the apartment and got away. Three options presented themselves to Connor to quickly get down four flights of stairs. Run down the stairs, use the elevator…or jump down the centre stairwell.
While risk of mistake and damage increased by 10% Connor chose the last option, jumping over the railing. Free fall was short lived as Connor latched onto the stairs railing next level down. Repeating the process a few times ensured Connor reached the ground floor in less than twenty seconds. Landing on the gritty carpet in a crouch, the android used that coiled momentum to propel himself into a sprint out the door just in time to turn the corner and see Grant scrambling down the last few ladder steps.
That’s when the chase really started and Connor took off without a sweat. Grant had a wild look in his eyes as he ducked into a muddied alleyway, climbing onto a trash can to reach over a chain link fence. The skies had been earlier gray and just then had started to spit rain, a light mist that had slicked everything instantly.
Connor hadn’t needed the boost and jumped easily to climb the fence after Grant. In the moment the android was feeling what could have been called an equivalent of adrenaline. He hasn’t given chase like this in months and in the heat of the moment the only thing on his mind was catching Grant. Streets and alleys whizzed by, the sky darkening as the rain grew more insistent. Puddles formed and were sloshed through underfoot, metal objects ringing with the increased intensity of the downpour.
Connor was closing the distance. Of course he was, Grant was human; panting hard and sweating buckets while Connor did neither. It didn’t take long for the android to tackle the suspect, both bodies landing hard in a dirty puddle as they scrambled for purchase.
Grant thrashed like a madman and managed to grab hold of Connor tie. That didn’t bother the android at all as he simply let it get tugged loose before ducking his head enough for it to slip off. It was then a simple matter to pin Grant.
Since Connor was an android he was not permitted to carry any equipment on his person, handcuffs included. Grant looked like he was causing more pain for himself trying to escape so the android grabbed one end of his stolen tie and with a twist, wrapped it around the humans wrists.
With Grant now unable to hurt himself Connor pinged his location to Hanks phone requesting pickup. The chase had only been across three blocks so it didn’t take long for Hank to pull up.
Reciting the events from earlier finished up just in time for Hank to pull up in front of his own home. He ran a calloused hand through his hair and pressed his head back into the head rest for a moment. Connor reached for his pocket to maybe get hold of a quarter before remembering he wasn’t wearing his jacket. It took a moment for him to find appropriate words.
“I know it was reckless but it was the only option that ended with Grant in custody. Hank, I know-“
“Con, I know you did the right thing. Everyone knows I wouldn’t have been able to catch the fucker, that’s not the part I’m mad about. Shit, I’m not even mad at you but you aren’t a detective anymore Connor.”
The androids fist clenched in his lap, he bit into his lip and looked out the window away from Hank as that familiar feeling of inadequacy bubbled up. It fed the mould that was introducing itself once more to Connor’s thoughts.
“You are just a consultant and Grant is threatening to press charges for assault.” Hank spat the words out like they had personally offended him. Connor froze for a moment, more food being given to the fuzz in his head. “And since you…you are an android it’s becoming a tricky situation to handle.”
There it was. During the chase Connor had hardly given it a thought. How could he in all the rush? His mind had been reeling and that mould had been absent for once. Connor had been stuck in the moment, feelings getting in the way. Because of those feelings and the feelings of others that rotting fuzz was crawling tenfolds through his skull.
If only he’d had an objective. If only he’d had a directive with the best options laid out in front of him. If only these quick fire thoughts and feelings didn’t get in the way, Connor wouldn’t be jobless and getting threatened for doing the right thing.
Connor’s LED circled and circles, flashing red for barely a moment as that question settled in heavier than ever.
Had he made a mistake deviating?