Work Text:
Saki stares at the tv blankly, it's displaying a beauty pageant of some sort—Miss America, to be exact. She wants to get up, she wants to touch the tv and run her hand across Miss America's face. She wants to be like her. But she knows that'll never happen.
She's going to stay confined to this hospital bed until she withers away. Everyone has told her that “she'll be discharged soon” but she knows it's all a lie. A big, fat lie. Ichika visits, and Saki puts on a fake smile. Her brother visits, and she puts on a fake smile. Her parents visit, and she puts on another fake smile once more.
When she stares at the TV, it's always displaying some beauty pageant. Maybe it's just always on that channel. Saki enjoys watching them, their dresses, when they get crowned, how beautiful they are and how healthy they look and how they can do simple tasks without feeling any sort of fatigue and
Saki lies a lot. But it's not the type of harmful lying. Well, maybe it is harmful to some, but she doesn't want others to worry about her. All of the worrying has accumulated to this. She smiles and says that she's doing alright, but in reality, it hurts to do anything, hurts to even try and sit up, and all she can do is watch those stupid beauty pageants on TV.
She knows she's missing out on a lot of things. And she hates that. She pretends as if she's perfectly fine being cooped up in a hospital room all day, with having nothing but magazines and the tv and the occasional visitor to ease her boredom.
One day, I'll fly out to the USA, and participate in Miss America, Saki thought. But she knew deep down, that would never come true. Ever. Even if she somehow got out of this bed someday, even if she managed to become an idol, like the ones she sees on tv..
She'll never be in a beauty pageant. She won't get to be Miss America, she won't be crowned, she won't be able to wear a sparkly dress, she won't ever be seen as beautiful. Because of her illness.
Saki can only hope, that someday, she can become beautiful.