Work Text:
Hey, mom?
I love you
I think I love you more than anyone else in the world.
Which is sad, really, because I'm just me. I'm weak, and failing, and It's so sad I'm the one who is loving you the most.
But I do. Probably.
Definitely.
Dad is not here, not really. Not HIM.
And I didn't get to know you- one year is far from enough.
But I love you more than anyone, and you are most loved by me.
Which is, again, sad. Because I'm the last one at everything.
But.
Life.
I don’t know what you truly feel- I don’t even know what you're capable of feeling. But I know you're usually quiet, and your eyes are... sad, I think. That's the closest word I can think of. Not really sad, but that's what I know.
So- mom- I make you laugh. I make you laugh, when you're like this. When you are kind of with us.
I'm glad I can make you laugh. Being sad all the time is hard, I know, and laughing until your mouth hurts makes it better.
I think.
That's how it's here, in the land of the living.
I mean- No! No, you are alive. You are alive. Just... not enough. Not as I would want, not as I think I need.
But I still love you more than anyone and anything else in the world, and you are most loved by me.
I am a child. Children ask stupid things, and grandma doesn't like it. Can I ask you, though? People say you were very kind and you liked children, so I hope it's okay. Um- well… here are my stupid questions.
Why- why are you so quiet? Why do you never say a word, mom?
I mean- yes, I know a group of bad people made you feel terrible pain- I know this. But why?
Do you miss it? Do you miss talking? I don't like it that much. I stutter when I speak- not with you, no, but with everyone else. Maybe there's something good in not being able to speak, because then they don't expect it of you. And then you can’t disappoint.
The bad people- they make me wonder. Why... why do they even exist?
Not in a "I hate them" way. I know I should hate them, for you and for dad and for me, and for everyone else. But I don’t. It's also not an "I'm scared" way. I truly- I wonder- why do they exist? Why is there war and pain? Why do they like making others suffer?
Why- why there's not a deity, not even one, who would put an end to this?
"This is it, humans. Stop." The deity would say, and then they would stop. Why?
Who does the land belong to? I don't think it belongs to the bad people, but they do. Besides them… I don't think it belongs to me, or you, or any other human. Wizard or muggle.
Maybe it belongs to nature?
Maybe it belongs to no one.
Maybe the land is its own thing, and no one should own it?
Who owns the air? The sea? Who owns the gold and diamonds?
M-mom- I love you so much. I love you more than anything else in the world, and you are most loved by me.