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The sound of notebooks and pens being packed into backpacks indicated the end of the school day. Just as Nakamura was about to run off to the bookstore to buy the new volume of Loveable Lunches, Hirose approached his desk with a massive smile.
“Hey, Nakamura! Do you feel like walking home together? The other day I found out that a bakery opened near your neighborhood, and I'm dying to go try a pastry from there, if you want to we can eat there together!.”
“O-Of course!! I'd love to, in fact, i-it's on me!” He always got nervous when talking to Hirose, which frustrated him internally. Why couldn't he just act normal for once? But at the same time, he still couldn't believe they had gone from being complete strangers to Hirose casually asking to walk together.
“Haha, no need, man! In fact, I was planning on paying, since you're doing me the favor of keeping me company.”
<< Is this real life? Hirose is asking me to go have pastries with him? AND ON TOP OF THAT, HE'S GOING TO PAY???. Seriously, Hirose, no pastry could ever compare to how sweet you are!! Wait a second, could this practically be called a date? N-no, right? It's just a simple hangout between friends. Surely he would do this with other friends, right?, it just happens that he's only asking me because I live in the area... >> Nakamura thought to himself.
This was already the third time he was alone with him. Both the day in Chinatown and the movie day had been incredible, so he was absolutely thrilled to have this opportunity and be able to get closer to him.
“W-well, whatever you want, haha” Nakamura replied quickly as he walked out the classroom door alongside Hirose.
...
Along the way, they chatted about casual things. Nakamura was more of a listener; he loved when Hirose told him about the things he liked or shared anecdotes from his life.
Everything was going well until, while taking a shortcut, they heard what sounded like the desperate meows of a little kitten. Both quickly realized the sound was coming from a cardboard box near a lamppost. Hirose was the first to rush over to check it out.
“Look, Nakamura! It's a kitten, looks like it’s barely a few months old. It looks like it's been abandoned...” Hirose's expression turned sad; he truly hated seeing animals suffering on the street.
“Oh wow, look at him, he looks hungry...” Nakamura reached his hand out to the little kitten, but as he was about to pet it, the frightened cat scratched him. “Ah! Damn, I should’ve expected that...” He looked at the wound; it wasn't very deep, but it had left a pretty large scratch. It barely hurt physically… he was used to it.
Suddenly, memories came back of when he used to cut himself as a coping mechanism due to the constant rejection from others, back when he was just trying to make friends... He always felt like there was something wrong with him that drove people away, and he would punish himself for it.
Why couldn't he be a regular guy with regular tastes? When he was little, he just wanted to share his interests with others and make friends, but he always faced rejection. Because of all that, he started avoiding talking too much, trying to go unnoticed so that nobody would pay attention to him, for better or for worse. He didn't want to take any more risks...
But everything changed the day he met Hirose. Falling in love with him was an escape from his most destructive thoughts. Despite having low self-esteem, Hirose's healing smile and seeing him every day at school gave him a reason to keep going and avoid thinking so much about negative things.
And then it happened: before he could react, Hirose grabbed his wrist. A feeling of pure fear rushed through Nakamura's body: << No, not there! That's where I have the... >>
“Oh no! Are you okay? Let me look at the scratch” As he pulled up the sleeve of his uniform, several marks from past self-harm were exposed. With his heart racing, Nakamura pushed his arm away, avoiding eye contact with Hirose, dying of embarrassment that he had seen something.
Hirose froze for a second. He looked at the scars, then at Nakamura's terrified eyes, and observed him with a look that was both sweet and compassionate. He didn't ask any uncomfortable questions. Gently, he took his hand again, ignoring the marks of the past and focusing on the present.
“We need to disinfect it. Let me clean the wound a bit with my handkerchief, and well, also...” He searched through his backpack until he pulled out his water bottle and a piece of a sandwich he hadn't eaten during lunch. He tore it into little pieces and turned to the cat. “Here you go, little guy, calm down, we're here to help you. Come on, eat and drink a bit.” Right after, he carefully cleaned Nakamura's wound and wrapped his hand in the handkerchief.
Meanwhile, poor Nakamura was staring at a fixed point, unresponsive, trying to process what had just happened.
<< Did he notice the cuts? I hope he doesn't think I'm a freak... Damn it, why do I always have to ruin everything?? A person like me doesn't deserve to be with Hirose; he deserves someone who is stronger, not a loser like me... I should be the one protecting him, not him protecting me... >>
“T-thanks, Hirose...” He paused briefly and turned his eyes to the cat. “Look, he seems calmer now. He must have been scared and hungry, poor thing. What should we do with him?”
“Mmm, good question. Leaving him here is definitely a no, but my mom has a horrible allergy to cats, so he can't stay at my house.” He let out a sigh of resignation.
“Aw, well, my parents don't want any more pets at home. It took a lot to convince them to let me get an octopus, plus I don't think a cat would be great company for my octopus” He laughed softly, but deep down, he felt sorry for the cat.
“So you had an octopus and you didn't tell me... and you even told me you didn't like them that much!”
“E-ehh!! Ah, yes, that's true. I'm sorry” he said, bowing his head.
“Don't worry about it, man! I know you're into them, plus I think it's cool that you like them, it makes you more interesting!! “ Hirose smiled slightly “Hey, it's getting dark. Can we at least take him to your house for a moment and decide what to do with him there? It's starting to get chilly, and I don't want the kitten to get sick.”
<< Wait a second, Hirose at my house?? in MY bedroom???? I AM NOT READY FOR THIS!!! But on the other hand, I can't say no to him. After all, I'm also worried about the cat getting sick (even if the little sucker did scratch me!) >>
“I-Its... alright, but if we get caught, we're going to be in big trouble...”
“Don't worry, we'll think of something!” Hirose replied optimistically as he picked up the box with the cat.
...
Walking together with a secret felt very intimate, as if they were each other´s partner in crime.
They entered Nakamura’s house quietly; Kana was in the living room with her phone, so she didn't even notice anyone had come in, allowing them to go up to his room quickly. It was a bit messy, which made Nakamura feel embarrassed.
<< Oh my god, if only I had known, I would have tidied it up a bit. >>
“So this is where you sleep, huh? It smells a lot like you. By the way, where is your…?” He looked around, examining the room until he noticed Nakamura´s octopus. “Found it! It really is cute. What’s its name?” He set the cat box on the floor and leaned in to get a closer look at Nakamura’s pet.
<< My god, he looks so CUTE!! I still can't believe I have AIKI HIROSE in my bedroom, I feel like I'm going to burst with excitement!! Plus, what did he mean by 'it really smells like you'? I hope he meant it in a good way..>>
“Haha, well, his name is Icchan. He’s very mischievous; the little brat always escapes when you least expect it and leaves the floor soakin'—” Before he could finish his sentence, little noises were heard, but they weren't coming from the floor… They were coming from his desk.
It was the cat, and at that moment, it knocked over some pencils and then pounced toward the wardrobe, threatening to scratch Nakamura’s clothes.
“U-Uhh, Hirose, the cat got out of the box!! We have to catch it before it makes too much noise!” Panicking, he ran chasing after the cat, careful not to make a huge mess.
Hirose started chasing it too until…
“W-Watch out!” Hirose tripped on the rug. He tried to grab onto the first thing he found, which turned out to be Nakamura’s jacket.
And from one moment to the next, both of them were on the bed, with Nakamura on top of Hirose, pinning his arms against the mattress.
Both were in silence; only their heavy breathing could be heard. Their faces were very close to each other. From up close, Nakamura could see Hirose’s beautiful eyes, who at the same time was also staring at Nakamura’s.
Neither of them wanted to move. Both of their hearts were pounding hard. It seemed like they were about to…
Tap tap tap
Shit. Someone was coming up the stairs.
“Ah!” Nakamura sprang away from the bed just as the door flew open.
It was Kana.
“WHAT ON EARTH IS—” The little cat ran toward her legs, looking to get out of the room. Kana paused for a moment to catch her breath and… “MOM!! OKUTO JUST BROUGHT A CAT INTO THE HOUSE!!”
…
Nakamura’s mother’s scolding was harsh
“Get that cat out of here and I don't want to see it inside again, understood???”
The boys apologized and went back out to the street, still confused by what had just happened between them.
“Well, what do we do now?... We’ve barely had time to think of anything,” Nakamura pointed out worriedly.
“Let me think… I know! I’ll post it in the class LINE group in case anyone is interested!”
“Oh, there’s a class group? Haha, I had no idea, I guess they didn't add me…” Nakamura mentioned with sadness in his voice. He knew he was often left out, but he didnt expect that…
Hearing that, Hirose felt a mixed feeling of pain and anger… “Seriously? I hadn't realized… Don't worry, I'll add you myself. Whoever made the group and didn't add you doesn't realize how incredible you are…”
Nakamura was glad to hear that. He didn't really care about being in it or not (he was used to being the outcast) but knowing that Hirose truly valued him for who he was brought joy to his heart.
“Come here,” Hirose took the little kitten into his arms, got close to Nakamura and pulled out his phone to take a selfie of the three of them to send. “Smile!”
Click!
Once sent, he texted a message to go with the photo: (We found this little cat abandoned. Can anyone adopt him or take him in today? My parents and Nakamura's won't let us keep him.)
Many people replied directly with a no, or simply left it on read, until they received a positive response from Kawamura: (Hey! I'm interested! I’ve wanted a cat for a very long time and my parents gave me permission. Where are you guys? I’ll go pick him up.)
…
While they waited for Kawamura, silence returned between them, but it wasn't an uncomfortable silence; it was a warmer one. The sun was already setting, and the sunset was beautiful.
“Thanks, Nakamura. If it hadn't been for you, I probably would have had to deal with this all on my own. Sorry for getting you into trouble with your parents…” Hirose mumbled, looking up at the sky.
“I-It’s nothing, I’m really glad I could help the poor kitten. It’s clear you have a good heart, Hirose.” He flashed a slight smile at Hirose, wishing this moment could last forever.
“Haha, thanks!. By the way…” Hirose moved a bit closer to Nakamura, his arm brushing against his. “I still wanna go to the pastry shop. Promise me we’ll go another day, please!”
<< He's so close... Wait a moment. Is it just me, or did he move closer to me? Is it just my imagination? I wish I could hug him right this instant; I want to feel his body against mine. Just remembering what happened earlier on my bed makes my heart race, he smelled so good and looked so cute... >> Nakamura thought to himself.
“Yeah, sure, I’d love to.”
“Guyyyys!” Kawamura’s voice interrupted the moment. She arrived in a hurry with a pet carrier in hand. “Aww, but look how cute he is!! Thanks for taking care of him, I’ll go to the vet with my parents tomorrow.”
“Thank you for adopting him, I'm sure he'll be great company.”
…
Once they said goodbye to Kawamura, they were left alone once again. But it was already getting late, so Nakamura walked Hirose to a halfway point.
“Well… see you at school tomorrow, right?” Hirose said, looking into Nakamura’s eyes one last time—one of those looks that made Nakamura’s heart beat wildly.
“Y-Yeah sure, get home safe, okay?” Nakamura said with a slight smile.
They parted ways. Nakamura walked back home with his hands in his pockets. Despite his mother’s scolding and the fear of Hirose looking at his scars, a silly smile wouldn't leave his face. He thought about how beautiful the day had been. The closeness on the bed, how Hirose cared about him and valued him for who he was... For the first time in many years, he felt glad to be alive.
Back in his room, while he was changing clothes, his phone vibrated on the desk. Nakamura unlocked it. It was a private message from Hirose. It had no text, just a ten-second video of a fat orange cat trying to climb onto a sofa but failing. Nakamura let out a genuine laugh and hugged the phone against his chest before starting to type his reply.