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“You must do what is necessary for the good of the clan. Whatever the elders ask of you… it is for the good of the clan.”
The memory played in his mind, clear as day. All those years ago when he looked his father in the face and heard him ask him to do the most ludicrous thing.
To kill his own brother.
He was weak. A liability. Shirking responsibility… There might have been more, but truthfully he couldn't remember it all because he stopped listening at that point and started watching instead. Their father, ever stoic, duty bound… had an unmistakable anguish buried deep in his eyes. He didn't want this any more than Hanzo did. There was a lot his father would do, with no remorse whatsoever for the good of his empire… but this? To have to ask one son to kill the other? This was destroying him. So Hanzo did exactly what he knew he had to. For both of them.
“No.”
“No? You would defy your father… your clan for what? Dead weight??”
That part of the memory always made him flinch. The way their father had to clinch his jaw when he said it to keep himself in check and the very clear memory of the sound of that sword being drawn. That looming threat of what would happen to them both if Hanzo refused again. Back then he was almost worried that his father would actually do it. That he would use that sword to strike them both down and be done with it… but his blade only struck a chair… and was followed by the softest, most heartbroken order.
“Go… take him and run… you… you are no longer of this family. You are no longer Shimada… you are no longer my sons.”
For a long time, the words echoed like a chorus in his head. Something that weighed on him. Something that was meant to wound him deeper than the sword ever could have. Worse still, there was part of him that thought his father was just… disappointed with himself that he couldn't bring himself to kill them both and was ashamed of himself. But in truth, something he didn't realize until many years later… he was setting them free. He wanted more for them and this was the only way he could manage it. Hanzo was thankful of course… but… the thoughts haunted him often, but especially on the anniversary of that fateful night… and today. The anniversary of his father’s death. He was disowned. That alone gutted him. Cast out of his own family for protecting his brother. He stood by his choice and did not regret it by any means… but it still hurt. And that hurt only got more painful after he learned his father had been killed and the Hashimoto took over. All this time… and he wondered often if his father was proud of him for it all. Proud of him for eventually becoming a hero. Proud of him that when heroism fell apart, he did not. Proud of him for-
“Hanzo!”
That voice pulled him from his thoughts as it always did. He hummed, opening his eyes and turning his head to look. A softness crossed his expression as she knelt down next to him. “Yes?”
“I was looking for you earlier to see if you wanted to spar with me a little… but then I didn't see you in your usual places. I got worried.” She explained. Kind of picking at her pants a little. “But then I realized what today was. And I realized I knew exactly where you were.”
“It was not my intention to concern you, Brigitte…” he hummed, looking forward, then dropping his eyes to the ground once more. “I…”
“Hey… you don't have to explain. I get it. You needed time. This day still hurts you and that's ok.” She said gently, giving him that same warm smile she always did. “Pain and grief don't have a time limit. I'm pretty sure I told you that last year too!”
That got a soft snort as he fought the little hint of a smile that tugged at the corner of his mouth. “I don't recall these words.”
“You are so full of it.” She huffed a little laugh, nudging him playfully. “Regardless. I decided this year you didn't get to just sit out here all by yourself, trapped in your head until bed time. I won't make you talk. I'm not going to make you leave. But I am going to sit right here with you until you are ready to go. Ok?”
Hanzo sat there for a moment, quiet… sure. He could sit there, content with her at his side, until the time he normally ended his vigil… but while she was right about pain and grief not having a time limit, maybe it was time to stop letting his past control so much of his present. The Shimada clan disowned him. Sojiro Shimada disowned him. He could honor his father’s memory without letting that legacy keep him shackled. And maybe… creating positive memories with someone held dear on such a day was a good place to start. “... Are you hungry?”
Brig looked over at him, studying his expression for a half second before she broke out in the biggest smile. “I'm always down to eat.”
He gave a nod and got to his feet, offering her his hand even though he knew she of all people did not need his help getting up. However, what he didn't expect was for her to take his hand, getting up mostly under her own power, then just… not let go. He blushed a little and looked up at her… but damn that smile. It made him weak. So he sighed softly and just, adjusted his grip to hold her hand properly, knowing that if Genji saw them, he would NEVER let it go. But that bright, excited smile that immediately crossed Brigitte's face? Eh…
It was worth the teasing.