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“The new BigHit group, Cortis, will debut on August 18th”
Every newspaper, radio station, and social media outlet were screaming about the new kpop boy group consisting of five members that would follow bts and txt’s footsteps. Cortis, which was an anagram for the saying of ‘color outside the lines’, was heavily hyped up by the news. The five members were eventually released under the names of Martin, who was a well known producer for other Hybe groups, James, who was an ex Trainee A member and choreographer for Hybe groups, Juhoon, who was an ex model and worked with Ella from Meovv, and Seonghyeon & Keonho who were heavily recognized for their visuals.
While every news outlet was screaming over the new band, the band members themselves were working diligently to make everything themselves.
Martin, the leader, was also the main producer for the group and became increasingly more and more closed off the sooner the debut date came. With increasing pressure and demand from the company, the fellow members would often find Martin locked up in the studio, coming back to the dorm at four sometimes five in the early morning.
The debut was a month away, every member was stressed and working their asses off to finish the songs for their debut ep and debut song, What You Want. The pressure however only grew the boys closer, especially the age twins.
——————
Once the fifth member of Cortis was confirmed to be Juhoon, the company pushed all five into immediate harsh training and pre-debut preparations. Claiming that they had a very limited five months left until their planned debut date. Luckily, the company wasn’t too harsh and allowed the boys to introduce themselves to Juhoon and get a rough understanding and familiarity towards one another.
“Hi, I’m Kim Juhoon, I was born January 3rd 2008, I used to model and I can speak good english.”
The first to respond was an obvious younger member, “HIII, I’m Ahn Keonho!! I’m the youngest being born on Valentines Day, February 14th 2009!! I used to swim and Seonghyeon is the same age as me!” Juhoon could tell the boy was excited and very happy, giving off a very childlike puppy innocence.
“Keonho, I’m supposed to introduce myself. Hi, I’m Eom Seonghyeon, English name Sean, I was born January 13th 2009 making me a month older than Keonho and the second youngest. I also have a little sister.” Seonghyeon seems calm, Juhoon thought to himself. He had a feeling him and Seonghyeon would get along quite well. However he noticed Seonghyeon’s eyes drifted towards Keonho afterwards with a look he couldn’t recognize.
Keonho swiftly moved over to hug Seonghyeon from the back and apologized, the younger resting his head on the older’s shoulder. The others looked used to it, so Juhoon assumed it was normal for them two to be clingy. His eyes wandered to the tall guy who looked like a dog that would roll around in mud for fun and not care about the mess. They made eye contact as the tall boy started to introduce himself.
“I guess I’m next, Hi I’m Martin Edwards, I was born the same year as you, 2008 on March 20th. I was born in Canada so I’m fluent in english. I will also be the leader of our group, so welcome.” Martin, Juhoon thought to himself, he seemed kinda quiet regardless of the vibe he gives off. He stupidly hoped the two of them would get close, but only because they were the same age and totally not because he found the tall brunette interestingly attractive with sharp features. His thoughts however got cut off by the final boy.
“Don’t get fooled by these hooligans, they are so much more energetic, especially the tree guy.’ Martin gasped at the nickname, however chose to stay silent at the sharp gaze of the shorter boy talking. ‘I’m Zhao Yufan, but just call me James, I’m the eldest being born in 2005 on October 14th. I’m Thai-Chinese and happy you’re here man. I need someone who's not constantly loud. I also speak five languages, one of them being English.”
The other three broke into chaos at the statement while James just gave me a told you so look. I thought to myself that all of us would get along, however I secretly prayed I wouldn’t have to share a room with all of them.
——————
“I’m assuming we have dorms, where would I be sleeping??” I, the new boy, broke the silence after a grueling dance practice.
“Oh shoot, my bad man. The youngest shares a room and James and I share a room. Both have a spare bed so you can pick where you want to sleep. Pick wisely.” Martin replied, having slight guilt about the whole situation.
“Oh, I’ll choose James and your room then.”
“How could you Juhoon, I’m so hurt by your decision!” Keonho yelled from his position with his back leaning against the mirror.
I looked at Keonho with an apologetic face, to which he grinned back and stated it was fine.
Martin left the practice room saying something about seeing us all later and that James would have to do something. I wasn’t too sure as I was still trying to steady my breath. Luckily my questions were answered by James.
“Okay, we have to head back to the dorms now. Juhoon, just follow us and you’ll be fine. Also about Martin he always stays late for music production, he does most of that stuff for us. We all secretly worry about him because of how late he comes back, however we trust him.” The younger boys nodded in agreement, showing that it truly is normal.
The way back to the dorms was far from quiet. I was bombarded with questions about everything possible. Where I grew up, if I had siblings, my favorite foods, whatever the younger’s didn’t know yet. I get they were excited but damn, it was a lot.
It was a couple hours later after everyone had showered and ate dinner. I realized I got along with the others quite quickly, they were very welcoming and we played some games late into the night. We had just finished up and I checked the time for it to be read as 2:30am. The other three were passed out on their beds, my room was shown to me earlier by James.
However as I started to drift off into sleep I heard the front door click open. I heard footsteps coming closer to my room until I saw the same tall brunette from earlier.
“Why are you awake Juhoon?” He asked
“Because I haven’t yet fallen asleep? Not everyone can knock out the moment they hit their beds. Now why are you only coming back at nearly 3am?” I replied, I’ve been told by many people I would get sassy when I am tired. I just hoped it wouldn’t steer the tall man in front of me away.
“Fair enough and I usually come back later than this, however I felt satisfied enough with what I did today at the studio. I’m gonna go shower, I hope you’re asleep when I get out. Goodnight Juhoon.”
“Goodnight Martin.”
——————
It had been a few weeks since Juhoon joined our line up, and safe to say the five of us got along quite well. I mean as the leader I was slightly worried about how someone who seemed to have a calmer demeanor would fit it, but it was nice to see how he balanced everything out. When I first saw Juhoon I wasn’t in the slightest shocked when he said he used to model. I mean he has a slim face and figure as well as gorgeous brown hair that almost looked like fabric in the wind. He had lighter hair than me and his height compared to me wasn’t shocking as I am 190cm but I still chuckle at the thought.
However what I didn’t expect was how close I would personally get to Juhoon. Over the past weeks Juhoon and I would naturally stand next to each other in the studio, group up the moment we were asked and run errands together. Just gradually overtime we became more accustomed to being next to one another. I mean getting meals with my bro is nothing abnormal, I just want to eat with my friend. It was obvious we both acknowledged it but neither of us cared, it brought a sort of comfort I thought. I enjoy being next to Juhoon because he makes me feel more at ease and comfortable in moments.
Our current situation was no different, Keonho and Seonghyeon were sitting comfortably on the sofa in the studio with James sitting on the armrest of the same sofa. However Juhoon was hovering behind me, looking at the same screen as me. We were working on a track that we planned on calling Joyride, it was a softer song compared to the others. We needed a track that would fit into a summer vibe while showcasing our vocals, joyride is supposed to be that song.
“I think a softer drum would do better during the chorus with layering of vocals and stronger bass, right before your rap, Martin.” Juhoon said leaning forward towards the screen more. I scooted back in the chair allowing him full access to the laptop to make the changes he suggested. Throughout this the other three agreed with him heavily.
I didn’t mean to get distracted by the side profile of the gorgeous man now leaning over me. However I think everyone would when a boy their age has soft features on the front but still maintains a sharp jawline with silky brown hair covering his ears at a perfect length. I mean seriously who wouldn’t scout him to be a model, he's perfect. As my thoughts continued about Juhoon’s looks, the sudden start of music woke me up.
“Yo Juhoon, good job man that sounds great!” The eldest complimented
“That sounds much better, good job Juhoon!” Keonho complimented as he adjusted his position on the sofa.
“Yeah, good job Juhoon.” Seonghyeon was clearly tired and it looked like the majority of his weight was now leaning onto the boy next to him.
“Thanks guys. Martin, what do you think?”
“It sounds great, thanks for your suggestion Juhoon. I think that might’ve just solidified the beat for the chorus.” Juhoon smiled at the compliment and quietly said thanks.
Time went by as more adjustments were made regardless of fatigue taking over the majority of the members. It was late into the night as I checked the clock. It was almost 1am, I think its about time I sent the rest of them home. As I turned my head to face the members I noticed Juhoon staring at me, I gave him a simple smile and stood up.
“Okay you guys are obviously tired, go home we can work more on this together tomorrow. I am still staying and don’t push me to go with you guys back to the dorms, I’ll show up in a couple of hours.” I watched as the three guys on the sofa got up and left as they said their goodbyes and James attempted to push me to go home now before giving up quickly. I noticed Juhoon never got up and as I turned to face him again he was still just staring.
“Are you going to leave? Or what’s going on?” I said without realizing my voice had gotten softer.
“Nah, I think I'm going to stay. I want to see what you do when everyone leaves and only you work on the song.” No one has ever waited behind before, either because they were too tired or I didn’t let them.
“Why?”
“I already said why, I want to see what you do to the songs after everyone leaves. I want to get better at making music like you, I mean if you really want me to go I will. I just thought it’d be nice.” I could hear Juhoon’s confidence in asking slowly lessen throughout his statement.
It was cute. He was cute.
I hated how if it was any other member I would send them away without a second thought. However the hold Juhoon had somehow gotten on me made it seem like kicking a baby after they asked for a hug would be better than asking him to leave.
“I guess you can stay, but if I don’t acknowledge you for a little bit don’t get offended. I'm just not used to anyone else being in here at this hour.”
As the night went into the later hours the two boys worked hard on their songs, helped each other when the other would get frustrated or stuck and Juhoon became the second opinion Martin needed. Time somehow flew by and it hit 5am, Juhoon managed to convince Martin to go back to the dorms to sleep instead of sleeping on his sofa.
They got back to their dorm, washed up and fell asleep, both smiling ear to ear about the alone time they got.
——————
The next morning Juhoon and Martin were to no surprise the last ones to get up. The five boys were grateful that they had the morning off from any practice. However the youngest had some questions for the two boys who stayed out very late into the night, just them two. Everyone knew that the two had gotten quite close very quickly. The three others had planned a surprise questionnaire for the two for when they woke up. Which didn’t take too long.
Juhoon left the room first with Martin trailing behind around five minutes later. Neither fully awake or prepared for what was about to happen but Keonho did not care.
“Sooo what did you two do so late into the night?”
“Yeah, what did you guys do. You guys didn’t get back until at least 4am.” The eldest joined in
“We were working on different tracks and lost track of time. What else? Are you guys trying to imply something?” Martin retorted
Seonghyeon joined in on the teasing, “So no lovey-dovey stuff? Like at all?”
“What the hell are you on about dude?’ Martin said as Juhoon just stared at the three like they were idiots. ‘Do you guys need confirmation? Juhoon tell the three idiots what we did last night.”
“What Martin said is right, we just worked on different tracks and he helped me understand more about what making music is actually supposed to be about. There was nothing weird that you guys are accusing us of.”
“Oh so the fact that you two got close super quickly has nothing to do with the fact that you guys basically hover around one another and are just as clingy as Keonho and Seonghyeon minus the actual touching?” James responded with a very obvious smile in his voice. The younger ones didn’t even try and retort about their clinging and were just focused on getting something out of Martin and Juhoon.
“It is just a coincidence you weirdos. Also if you’re going to try and get on us for acting lovey-dovey, how about we talk about the twins who cling to each other like it's their last day on earth.” Martin responded as he sat on the couch to eat his cereal.
The chaos of teenage boys quickly erupted at the comment. Yelling and arguing broke out all about who's more of an alleged married couple. Martin thought to himself as he saw Juhoon staying quiet throughout all the chaos, that maybe marrying Juhoon wouldn’t be too bad.
——————
They had three months left until their planned debut date, the boys had only grown closer. Especially Martin and Juhoon, which James had not missed one bit. James was tempted to talk to Martin about it because it seemed like Martin might’ve grown feelings for Juhoon with how he acts.
Juhoon, Keonho and Seonghyeon were out of the dorms getting groceries, James figured it was the perfect timing to crack down on Martin about him and Juhoon.
“Martin, can I ask you something?” James asked from across the room on his bed
“Yeah sure man, what’s up?” Martin responded from his own bed
“How do you feel about Juhoon?”
“What do you mean? I mean he's a great fit for the team and I think he’ll be very valuable towards the team. Why is there something you want to tell me about him?”
“No, I completely agree with you. I mean do you like him? More than a friend.”
Martin paused clearly, not fully thinking about his feelings towards his friend until now. James sat up curious about why Martin had gone silent only to see Martin’s face going through multiple facial expressions until eventually resting on one with a slight smile to it.
“Wow man you really had me thinking and you know maybe I do. I like staying true to myself and as hard as it may be to fully accept it, I think my answer is yes.”
James chuckled in response, “Glad you realized it, why do you like him?”
“What’s not to like? He is incredibly kind, soft, understanding, smart, caring, compassionate, talented, and loving. He’s the type of guy I feel like would clash directly with me, being polar opposites leading us away from each other. I think instead though it's become the opposite, we fit perfectly with one another. Our energies and personalities perfectly balance the other when needed. Instead of us being two enemy pirate ships, I'm like the crashing waters of a tsunami and he’s like the peaceful, gentle waves on a beach’s coast. I also can’t forget how gorgeous he is, I mean seriously it is no surprise about how he used to be a model. Anyone with a face like that and proportions like his deserve to be a model.” Martin smiled through his voice as he continued to talk about Juhoon as James listened.
Both boys however missed the hearing of their front door clicking open. The footsteps of Juhoon coming to their room, however as Juhoon approached he slowed down. As Martin’s words were mumbled all Juhoon could hear before he entered were the words ‘my jju’.
As Juhoon walked in, the two boys inside stared in disbelief at him.
“What? Do I have something on my face?” Juhoon replied, trying to act like he didn’t just hear Martin call him his jju.
James quickly answered with a no and just stated that Martin and him didn’t hear the rest of the guys come back to the dorm. James also wasted no time asking what they all had brought back home. Juhoon wasn’t stupid, he knew James was acting this way to get the attention away from whatever conversation he and Martin just had. As Juhoon was going to show James he noticed Martin in the corner with a flushed face, Juhoon would ask Martin about it later. Juhoon didn’t expect the difficulty this knowledge would bring him.
——————
A week after Martin told James about his feelings towards Juhoon, the stress level Martin was feeling for their debut was only stronger. He would stay cooped up in his studio until 5am without Juhoon, regardless of the members' pleas he stayed later and later into the night. James was fed up and had an idea on what or who might be able to get him home earlier.
“Hey Juhoon, can I ask you for a favor?” James asked as the four boys were eating dinner.
“Yeah sure, what do you need me to do?” I responded
“Can you try and get Martin home from the studio? Before you all cry about how convincing him never works, I have a feeling if we send Juhoon personally to the studio he might listen.” Be pleaded
“Wait, but why me?” I was genuinely confused, everyone else knew him for longer. I mean I guess they see me as the one closest to him but it still made no sense.
“Just trust me man. Start heading over after you finish your food.” I had no choice but to agree after the stern look James gave me.
As I walked over I wondered how I would be able to convince Martin to come home. Yelling and bribing him doesn't work as we’ve tried before. As I walked I could only drift back into the conversation between James and Martin. Unable to lie to myself it continues to keep me up late at night, I’m not sure why. Hearing Martin call me his jju sent some kind feeling into my stomach, it almost felt like butterflies. Now having this time to think about it, maybe it was just a friendly thing. He calls me his boy all the time, I doubt that it means anything. I couldn’t help but want it to mean something, I’ve known that I like Martin more than a friend ever since I talked to Seonghyeon about it and I want us to be something more. As an idol though it's risky, and I would rather put the team first over my own wants.
Before I realized I had reached the studio building. I mindlessly go up to our studio, I’ve done this so often that I can just rely on muscle memory. As I approach the door into the studio I still have no idea how I’m supposed to get the tall brunette home, but I think I'll figure it out.
I open the door to see a hunched over Martin with the screen’s light glowing across his face. I know the boy is handsome but I can’t help but think just how handsome he really is. Especially when his hair is pushed back by the headphones and only a small amount of light hits him. He clearly doesn’t notice I’ve entered until I close the door a little too loud. He jumps out of surprise only to calm down once he realizes it's me.
“Hi, sorry about startling you.” I say quietly
“It’s okay, that door always closes loudly. But why are you here? Do you want to watch me again?” He replies being genuinely curious
“As much as I would love to do so, I’m actually here for another reason. James sent me to have you come back to the dorm. Before you say no can you just hear me out, please?” I say the last sentence quieter than expected
“I’m only agreeing to hear you out because you said please. Go on.”
I start my plea stating how with the late hours he’s been staying in the studio these days he won’t get enough sleep for the practices and sessions with the team. I can see his eyes stay staring at mine. I’m shocked he hasn’t already turned me down. As I continue trying to reason with him, I don’t notice the slight smile appearing on his face and his eyes drifting to other areas than my eyes. As I finish off with how we’re all just worried about him and that we want him home. I didn’t lie with that last part of wanting him home because I know I definitely want him home.
“Listen Jju’ I feel myself flush at the nickname,‘I really do appreciate the concern from you and the other members. However, that doesn’t stop the demand I have with these songs. You’re more than welcome to join me but I’m not going back to the dorms until I feel satisfied.” He shares turning back around.
I want to have alone time with him, but I also want him to rest and come back to the dorms. I mean I could push him out of the chair, drag him out, cover the laptop screen with something and as I continued thinking of ideas. One idea stayed in the back of my head, yelling at me like a red alarm to do it.
-
I could feel Juhoon still hovering by the door as I worked on the songs. I appreciated the concern the members had for me and I have a feeling James sent Juhoon because it’s harder for me to say no to him. However I don’t think anyone could tell what was about to happen for Jju to get his way.
I was too zoned in to hear Juhoon approach me, but before I could react to his approach, a weight settled on my lap. The laptop screen is blocked because of Jju on my lap facing me. I look up at him only for him to look away from embarrassment, looks like he's even shocked by his decision. We stayed in silence for a little while as I still don’t know how to react to this all. I mean I can’t just ignore him and work on the song as my screen is blocked by the pretty boy on my lap. I also hate that I enjoy the weight, I enjoy the feeling of this boy on my lap. I mean with his reaction I feel like he didn’t think this through and maybe he does like me back like James and Seonghyeon have told me.
“Juhoon?” I ask softly
“Hm?” He responds staring directly at me, I can see the redness in his cheeks getting darker. He really didn’t think this one through.
“You want to explain why you’re sitting on my lap and blocking the laptop screen?” I ask staring directly at him
“Well if I block your vision of the screen then you’ll either have to lift me off which would be hard or get up and leave with me. Otherwise I’ll just stay where I am.” His answer had a lot more confidence than he was showing.
“And if I do manage to lift you off of me? Then do you go back to the dorms and I get to stay? Or what,”
“I mean yeah, I guess. Listen I didn’t think this one through that much, it was more on instinct.”
As Juhoon attempts to readjust to get more comfortable on my lap, his weight gets shifted as he nearly falls. I noticed one of my arms are now wrapped around the older’s waist, stopping him from falling.
“Be careful. We don’t want you falling, giving me free sight of the screen, now do we?” I reply, trying to play off that I am actively holding onto his waist.
“Thanks.”
We stayed in silence for around thirty minutes with Juhoon staying in my lap the whole time. The laptop basically forgotten about as the main reason for the boy in my lap. The silence is broken by a call from James to Juhoon. I’m not sure what James said but it made Juhoon look at me sternly and then get Juhoon annoyed. As Juhoon hangs up he stares at me before speaking.
“Are you coming back to the dorm or not. If not, I'm leaving you.” He states.
I hesitantly agreed only because it was quite late and I could feel myself getting tired, not because the boy asking looked cute.
——————
Before the boys realized, the routine of Juhoon going to the studio to get Martin to come back to the dorms was normal as it had been happening for over a month. Including Juhoon sitting on Martin’s lap to block the screen, not allowing Martin to get any work done. However unknowingly to Juhoon, Martin didn’t care about not getting work done if that meant he had the sight of his jju on his lap. This routine was the only thing getting Martin home before 3am, anytime another member tried it didn’t work. Only Juhoon could get through to him.
During Juhoon’s regular walk to the studio to go get Martin the memory of being called ‘my jju’ by Martin kept resurfacing in the boy’s mind. Juhoon decided he would reveal he overheard Martin call him that today, he was annoyed at how much brain space it took up.
-
As I approached the studio building, the anxiety of asking Martin raced over me. A part of me wanted it to mean something so my feelings could be reciprocated. While another part wanted it not to mean anything so we can carry on just being a group of five boys planning on debuting and not having a massive secret that could make us lose everything. I told myself that no matter what that I should look at the positive side of it all.
As I got to the door of the studio I took one last final deep breath before opening the door. Instead of immediately heading over to Martin’s lap like I have done for the past month to get him out, I just stay at the door. Martin quickly realizes I’m not doing my usual action and turns around to ask me a question.
“What’s up Juhoon? Are you trying something else to get me out of the studio?” He asks tilting his head and all I can think of in that moment is how much he looks like a puppy.
“I wanted to ask you something, Martin.” I mumble, not sure if he heard me.
“I barely heard that, but yeah what do you want to ask?”
“Why did you call me ‘your jju’ a little over a month ago?” I say it so quietly I’m almost certain the tall boy didn’t hear me. However I don’t know if I can ask any louder.
“Jju, I’m sorry but I need you to ask a bit louder. I can’t hear you.” Of course
I hesitantly speak again, the anxiety overcoming my entire body, “I asked, why did you call me ‘your jju’ a little over a month ago?” I say it louder as I look at him to make eye contact as I see his eyes grow bigger.
“You heard that?”
“Yeah.”
“Then can I ask you a favor? Come here on my lap, okay?”
I want to ask why, but the look on his face makes me fall into the thought that he knows exactly what he’s doing and that I should listen to him. I do as he asks and as I get comfortable he lifts me off his lap like it’s nothing. Before I can ask any questions he speaks.
“Jju, what was the deal you made with me a month ago to get me out of the studio?” He asks as he pulls me back onto his lap using his hands around my waist.
“That you either had to lift me off your lap and I leave you alone or you come back to the dorms with me because I wouldn’t move.” I speak softly still in a little shock as I feel the red grow on my cheeks, I catch his gaze and can only look away from his glimmering eyes.
He lifts me off his lap again before pulling me back on with both of his arms now resting on my waist. I understand what point he's trying to prove so I ask before he can speak.
“If you knew you would be able to lift me off your lap easily then why did you keep me on? Why didn’t you lift me off so you could work more?” I ask genuinely curious
“Simple, I liked the sight of you on my lap more than working on the next songs. I called you ‘my jju’ because James asked if I liked you and asked why I liked you. Which I said yes too otherwise I don’t think I’d like having you sit on my lap.” He says it all with so much confidence and as he grabs my face and pulls me to face him, looking directly in my eyes as I can only manage to look away.
“Jju, do you like me back?”
“Maybe.” I mumble as I bury my face into the taller boy’s shoulder out of embarrassment.
“So James was right this entire time, huh.”
As I slowly regain some confidence I look into Martin’s eyes nodding my head in agreement. I managed to get a few words out to ask the boy in front of me.
“I think James sent me because he knew that information,” we both chuckle at the thought, smiling at each other.
“It wouldn’t shock me, but Jju, can I call you my Jju now?” He asks so casually as if this wouldn’t alter half the group’s dynamic.
“As in your boyfriend?” I ask in confirmation.
“Yes.”
“Sure, I can be your Jju.” As I reply the boy in front of me gleams with joy as he pulls my face closer. Asking softly for permission to which I happily grant.
He rests one hand on my waist as he uses his other hand to guide my face towards his, as he plants his lips upon mine I can only feel an electric sensation throughout my body. He starts with a simple peck before making the kisses gradually longer, until the kiss is filled with everything we’ve both wanted to say and how we’ve felt. The kiss is soft but passionate, he’s making sure not to push too far due to where we are. The kiss gradually slows down as it comes to end, both of us smiling at one another. He pecks my forehead before massaging my back with his free hand.
“Can we not tell the others yet?” I ask. I feel his head nod from the motion on shoulder, I really got lucky.
——————
The routine checks stay consistent over the next month with the only change being Juhoon not actually stopping me from working but just resting on my lap with his head buried into my shoulder. Sometimes planting soft kisses on my neck in order to get my attention which unfortunately does always work. These checks just turn into alone time between the two of us. Over time Jju shares once that he enjoys pet names and I immediately add them into my vocabulary for him. Missing no chance to call him my jju, princess, baby, pretty boy, and anything he shows a positive reaction too.
When Juhoon enters the studio I always greet him the same way, ‘hi baby’. He smiles and climbs into my lap and gets comfortable. Sometimes I can feel his heartbeat slowing down after the harder practices as he drifts off into sleep. I stop working and let my pretty boy sleep because what kind of monster would I be if I didn’t. As we approach the debut date closer and closer I finally finish off the songs a month before the planned debut date. With the boy on my lap asleep, I celebrate quietly as I carry the older back to the dorms to let him sleep on a bed. Regardless of the temptation to crawl into bed with him and cuddle my pretty boy to sleep every night, I only fall into the temptation tonight believing I deserve it after finishing the songs.’
After I wash up I crawl into bed with Juhoon who is gripping onto his blanket for dear life. I can only help but wonder if it’s because his body misses my warmth. However I can’t get ahead of myself quite yet. I grab the older by the waist as he naturally readjusts in his sleep to have his head buried into my neck with his arm wrapped around my chest. Our legs naturally tangle together as I hear his heartbeat slowly drift off as I fall into sleep.
However the next morning, both Juhoon and I are awoken abruptly and rudely by the sound of James’ gasp and camera clicks. Juhoon groans as he uses the blanket to cover his face, clearly not recognizing the fact that I’m there with him. It only gets worse as the twins come running in at the sound of James, I think to myself that yeah we’re cooked.
“Jju, you have to get up baby.” May I be considered evil for calling him a pet name in front of the three most insufferable teasers ever, yes. Did it actually just slip out naturally, also yes.
“Holy shit Martin just called Juhoon baby. Seonghyeon they have to be dating so pay up. I told you it’d be before debut!!” Keonho yelled, truly getting Juhoon up. Who immediately shot a death glare at me for I’m assuming calling him baby. I mumble an apology as he sits up staring at Keonho with an even worse death glare than he gave me.
“You fucking betted on Martin and I getting together? Well answer me honestly Seonghyeon, are you and Keonho together yet? Or did you chicken out?” Juhoon retorted back with more sass than I have heard from him in awhile. What shocks me even more is Seonghyeon mumbling back a yes as Keonho stares at Juhoon in shock.
“How did you know?” Keonho yells
“Because my best friend is your boyfriend! Also James pay up, because I told you it would be before debut as well.” James whines in response, with Seonghyeon in shock that the two of them did the same.
Meanwhile I’m just even more confused breaking the argument. “Wait so the twins betted on Jju and I getting together before or after debut with Keonho winning and then James and Jju betted on the twins getting together before or after debut with Jju winning?? Why the hell are you guys addicted to gambling?” I yell
Everyone bursts out into laughter as they laugh at me for being so clueless, do they not realize I’m their leader?
“If you guys don’t stop laughing at me, I will call our manager and state that we are all fine and can do a dance practice today.” That shuts them all up quickly. I place a peck on Jju’s forehead as everyone heads to wash up. With Keonho now making it everyone’s business that Seonghyeon and him are together by planting kisses everywhere on his partner.
As much as Seonghyeon loves to act like the one in control, everyone knows he loves that Keonho takes control. Especially since we’ve all heard them fuck where it was very obvious who was the bottom.
——————
Two weeks before debut we get a call from our manager asking us to meet him outside late at night. We head to the official Hybe building in cars provided, only to be met with our faces posted everywhere celebrating our debut. Juhoon and James are the first to get out to admire the posters. The manager keeps me in the car for a little bit extra asking me for the flash drive he had asked me to bring. As I look back to the group I notice Seonghyeon hugging Juhoon who is crying.
I get out of the car, aware of the cameras yelling “my twinski!” As I rush over to Juhoon pulling him into a hug by the waist. As the camera stays rolling I stay by Juhoon’s side making sure he doesn’t cry again. We take some photos before the camera stops and we head back to the dorms. James had a six sense to not enter our room just yet.
“Baby, are you okay?” I ask quietly as I pull Jju into a tighter hug than before. As I hear some mumbling I pull back and let Jju get his feelings out.
“I didn’t think I could actually do it, I didn’t think I would be the right fit for this group, I thought I wouldn’t actually debut. Just thinking about not choosing to debut would mean I wouldn’t have been able to meet you,” he sniffles in between his sobs as I wipe his tears, I feel a slight guilty pull across my heart as he continues talking.
“Seeing those posters just solidified all the work you put in, all the work all of us put in. Those late nights of all of us worrying about you working so late into the night just made it all worth it. Those posters were that confirmation that everything we’ve done will pay off and that us five get to actually debut. I get to debut alongside my boyfriend and my best friends. I just couldn’t be happier.” As the shorter boy finishes off, I peck his lips, forehead, nose, and eye corners. I kiss his tears away and help him calm down before I start talking.
“My princess is so happy he cries of joy, huh?” I sit down and pull him by the waist onto my lap like always. “I couldn’t be any happier to debut with you as well, Jju. This whole thing is so surreal, I’ve been with Hybe for five to six years and I never thought that it would lead me to meet the love of my life. All those late nights were indeed worth it, however I have to owe part of my determination to you. You helped me the most during the most stress and pressure these past months. Knowing that you would show up eventually and I would get to have a pretty boy like you on my lap drift off to sleep or attempt to get me to leave was my biggest motivation. I love you so much baby and I’m so happy I get to continue forward with you.” I smile as I see Jju tearing up a bit more.
“Don’t cry princess, please?” I ask pecking his cheek. He nods as he pushes me down onto the mattress. I grunt as I hit the mattress, only to open my eyes to see the same boy who was just crying, smiling ear to ear as he cuddles naturally into me. I almost miss his whisper out of adoration.
“Can we sleep together every night, please? Whenever I’m with you I sleep the best. I feel so safe, comfortable and warm when I’m sleeping on or next to you. So please?” He asks as if I wouldn’t be jumping for joy right now if it weren’t for him on top of me.
“Of course baby, how could I say no to you. However, maybe word it differently at first, I thought you wanted to do someth-“ I was hit on the face by the older, almost missing his “another time” to the ask. Safe to say I go to bed happy that night as we drift off with the last thing we hear are each other's heartbeats.
——————
With the last week of preparations for our debut approaches, I can only feel more distant from Martin throughout the day as the harsh practices push the team to collapse every time afterwards. The only time he can be with Martin is at night when the two of them cuddle up in bed together, however they both always pass out after Martin gives him a sleepy kiss goodnight.
Juhoon misses his princess treatment from Martin. They can barely interact anymore due to the harsh preparations. He knows he still gets minor princess treatment when Martin can help him with his shoes, making him breakfast, and the platonic care he gives because of cameras. He still appreciates it all and couldn’t be more grateful but the way his heart aches from the distance he has to have with his lover hurts him.
However the time flies by and it’s the night before debut, the group gets back at 11pm and have a quick celebratory meal together and party. As the rest all washed up and headed off to bed with quick good nights, I delayed my arrival to my bed as I know that everything will only get more chaotic and difficult starting tomorrow. Martin notices quickly.
“My Jju, what's wrong, pretty baby?”
I smile at the nicknames, trying to soak everything in for the last time, I still reply, “I know it's only going to get harder to be close with you after tomorrow, I’m going to miss being able to hug you whenever, crawling into your lap whenever, just doing the things that would actually show us as a couple. The cameras stop us from doing that, and we will almost always have a camera on us. I’m going to miss you and I know that’s a stupid thing to say since I’ll almost always be with you, but you know it won’t be the same.” I feel a pair of lips land on my forehead as I look up to be met with a gaze from the very boy I’m talking about missing.
“You’re so cute, do you know that? Baby I’ll always be here and we’ll always have these nights to sleep together. If I have to force myself to stay up a bit longer so we can do whatever you’re missing I will. I’m willing to make sacrifices for you and I always will. If that means yelling at a camera director to turn off a damn camera, I’ll do that. If that means slipping away to the bathroom just to hug and kiss you, I’ll do that. I love you and that means sacrificing things around me and choosing you again and again regardless of what it may be.” All I can do is smile and plant a kiss on the taller’s cheek.
We drift off into sleep, the boy I’m on top of falls asleep first. I drift off as I hear his heartbeat steadying, becoming in rhythm with my own as one beat.
“I love you too”