Chapter Text
"Lower the shields! THAT'S AN ORDER!" Lars snapped, glaring daggers at Rhodonite. Rhodonite swallowed, fear taking over as she reached for the keyboard with trembling hands. "Lowering shields." She muttered, voice quivering as she pressed the button and held her breath.
'Please don't die,' she thought to herself, squeezing her eyes shut and clamping her unoccupied hands over her gems.
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They ended up fine, Emerald decided against shooting the ship, but Rhodonite was still restless. After so much time on the Sun Incinerator, she had become distasteful towards her captain's reckless behavior. The way he taunted Emerald so, even while she had her weapons aimed right towards the ship, the way he seemed to land the entire crew in unnecessary danger, as if he didn't care to notice that not every one of his crewmates were as brave as he.
'But we're safe on Earth now, aren't we?'
Her thoughts screamed at her, told her that Lars was doing the best he could, for her and ALL of her crewmates.
Fluorite was fine. Rhodonite liked to think that at least one of Fluorite's components were a gem previously skilled in piloting ships such as the Sun Incinerator, and that's why she had so much knowledge on the engine. Fluorite knew what she was doing.
The Rutile twins were ruthless. They were always by each other's sides, and even though they didn't have a say in the matter, Rhodonite could tell that fueled them. They were strong. The Rutiles were truly... brave.
Padparadscha didn't need to see the future. She could see things that others couldn't. She could tell if someone was making another uncomfortable, even if they themselves couldn't. She knew how to put Rhodonite's thoughts into words, even when she herself didn't. Padparadscha was wise indeed, wiser than others would let on.
And then there was Rhodonite. She couldn't do anything useful, without being told exactly how and when to do it. She was a fusion of two gems who were practically useless on their own, and she wasn't much better. She couldn't understand ANYTHING the same way other gems did. Her thoughts were always tangled, she couldn't talk right, she was clumsy, she was always anxious, and everything she did always felt...
Wrong.
It only got worse when she met Garnet. Garnet wasn't a bad person by any means, but watching her always tangled Rhodonite's thoughts even more. Garnet was collected, Garnet was intelligent, Garnet was the perfect fusion. Ruby and Sapphire complimented eachother perfectly. They could dance without one having to stand on a balcony railing, because they were the same height.
Oh, how Rhodonite wanted to be like her.
Oh, how she desperately wanted to be a part of that.
She YEARNED for Garnet. She wanted Garnet to sit by her and untangle her thoughts. She wanted Garnet to tell her that she was okay just the way she was, no matter how big of a lie either of them knew it would be.
She sat at that cliff, right above the small beach house that Garnet called home. She stared at the ocean, which reflected the golden light of the setting sun. It was getting darker by the minute, but Rhodonite didn't care.
'Lars is going to come looking for us soon.' her voice echoed faintly in the back of her mind. 'We need to head to the ship. We're setting off soon.'
'I'm not going.' She thought bitterly. 'I came to Earth for freedom. I won't let him take me to space again.'
"I'm not going back." She said out loud, with an edge to her voice that she had never felt before.