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It was an off day, something rare recently for Jeff. He'd decided that morning to go out into the woods for a walk, maybe kill some lost people, maybe whittle a branch into a shitty rendition of a bear for Toby. After scrounging up a measly lunch and waking Smile Dog up, he'd headed out with the overgrown, disfigured mutt in tow.
He's been walking for a good hour now, nowhere in particular, and Slenderman never lets them out of the woods unless he wants them out, so he's probably really not all that far from the mansion. Smile's happily trotting along beside him, occasionally running after a small animal or jumping into a pile of leaves.
The woods are silent except for his boots crunching the leaves and Smile's shenanigans, the occasional animal sound if he really pays attention. It leaves Jeff alone with his thoughts, something he's purposely avoided for a long time. He hasn't taken a long time to himself to just think since he and Toby got together.
Jeff lost track of where exactly he was going, mindlessly dodging trees and watching his boots kick aside leaves and sticks, until Smile bounds up with a stick he found somewhere. He shoves his head into Jeff's hand until he takes the stick, holding it up playfully. "What, you want me to throw it?" Smile barks in that weird, staticky, distorted way of his, and Jeff smiles a little.
He lifts his arm back, watching Smile crouch down to get ready to run. "Go fetch!" Jeff throws the stick, watching it disappear through a nearby bush line he can't quite see through. Smile bolts after the stick and straight through the bushes, barking excitedly and crunching on the stick once he finds it. Jeff doesn't particularly feel like shoving his way through the bushes, so he whistles for Smile to come back, the dog's best trained recall.
Jeff waits a couple seconds, but the dog doesn't come back. He huffs, then whistles again, sharper this time. "Get back here, dumb mutt! I know you're right there!" Smile just barks again, and despite him being a dog, Jeff can feel Smile mocking him. With a long suffering sigh, Jeff treks near the bushes, planning to just grab Smile by the scruff and yank him back through. He's right on the other side of the bushes, it should be easy. However, when Jeff gets a hand in the dog's fur, Smile whips his head to bite into Jeff's hoodie sleeve and pull him through the bushes.
Jeff yelps, face getting scratched by the branches as he stumbles through, but then, there's Smile, so he trips over the large dog, barely catching himself on his hands before he faceplants. As quick as he fell, he's pushed himself back upright, only to be met with a segmented howl from Smile that sounds like a hyenas laugh. Jeff rolls his eyes, pushing the dogs massive body with his boot, who just accepts it and rolls onto his back.
Rolling his eyes, Jeff looks around the clearing he's found himself in. It's mostly empty, almost a perfect ring with no trees, except for a large pine tree in the center. It draws his attention in a weird way, like there's an itch in the back of his brain from the image. He shakes it off, figuring it just seems out of place since the woods are mostly oak and birch trees.
He glances around the clearing again, then back at the pine, and that's when a memory hits him full force.
"Lulu, wait! I can't reach that high!" An eight year old Jeff stretches as far as he can, but he can't quite seem to reach the branch that nine year old Liu is standing on to climb higher. The pine tree stands centered in a park, fence built around it to try and keep kids from climbing it. Of course, it didn't stop Jeff and Liu from crawling through a hole in the boards.
"Then go a different way, dummy!" Liu shouts back, work his way up the tree branch by branch. Jeff pouts, but backtracks a little to find an alternative route. Eventually he catches up to Liu, sitting on a thick limb with another branch above it perfect to hold onto. Liu scoots over a little to let Jeff sit next to him, and through a clearing in the leaves, they sit together to watch the sunset.
It's quiet for a long time as the sun goes down, bathing the park in a bright orange glow. Neither of them break the silence until Liu speaks, his voice much older than little Jeff remembers. "You know, we could've watched the sunset every day if you didn't kill me." Jeff turns to look at Liu, but when he does, his breath catches in his throat.
Liu's face is covered in deep, crisscrossing cuts, blood dripping down his face and into his clothes. Jeff panics, reaches out to hold his hands over the wounds, but when he blinks, the scene around him changes again. Now, he's sitting heavily on Liu's chest, knife in hand, the scent of blood staining the air. Jeff's own hands are bloody over the deep burn scars marring and purpling his skin as he brings the knife down on Liu again without his minds permission.
The same orange from the sunset grows brighter, and twists into something hot and scary, burning, bubbling skin and a flame that engulfs him as three teenagers watch and laugh. He feels his skin swell and melt as he screams himself hoarse, until the blackness creeping into the edges of his vision take over, and his mind goes black.
The pine tree in the clearing suddenly come back into full focus, Smile Dog whining and headbutting Jeff's legs, obviously sensing something wrong. Jeff pays him no mind. Really, he doesn't even notice the dog past the overlapping screams in his head and the burning in his chest as he tries to breath through a too tight throat. Fuck, he can't breath, he can't think, there's too many voices, they all need to SHUT UP TOO MUCH TOO LOUD CAN'T THINK SHUT UP-
A scream that sounds too panicked and animalistic to be human even to his own ears tears out of Jeff's throat, spooking Smile enough to take a few caution steps away. Jeff starts pacing, kicking rocks and leaves and sticks as he stomps around the clearing. His breaths are short and ragged, his head is throbbing, his chest feels too tight, and it's all too much.
All he can think of is the fire, carving into his own face, carving into Liu's face, everything that he's tried so hard to repress bubbling to the surface and boiling over, burning his heart as it spills. He screams again, raw and painful, and thrusts his fist into the pine tree he hadn't even realized he'd approached hard enough that he hears his bones crack.
He punches the hard trunk again, and again, eyes burning as tears force themselves out to pour down his face. Smile barks loudly, probably not for the first time, but Jeff ignores him. He slams his head into the tree with another scream, this one faltering off into a series of thick sobs that leave his throat scratchy.
He stumbles backwards and lands ass first on the ground when Smile bites his pant leg and drags him down, but he doesn't reprimand the dog. He can't think to, too caught up in the way his head is swimming and his vision blurs, even through the tears. His chest hurts, and he can't get a full breath in, and holy shit, he'd forgotten how bad panic attacks are. Smile whines loudly, trying to push his head against Jeff's chest, but he shoves him away with a garbled shout.
Smile whines again, ending it with a little bark, then turns and runs. Jeff doesn't think about why the dog left, only that he did, and he knows he deserves it, but he yells after him anyway. "Yeah, fucking run, you dumb mutt! Leave me the fuck alone!" He pauses to sniffle as he drags his sleeve across his snot and tear soaked face. "I fucking deserve it anyway." His sentences are inturrupted by coughs and sobs, but he forces them out anyway before curling up, wrapping his arms around his legs, and resting his head on his knees.
Toby's minding his own business, curled up in his room with a stolen book he's been wanting to read for a while. It's peaceful, right up until he hears loud scrambling up the stairs, then scratching and distorted barking at his door. Well, that's weird. Jeff said he was going out on a walk, and he always takes Smile with him.
Toby pushes himself up and makes his way over to open the door. He tries to greet the monstrous dog standing there, but instead he gets his pant leg bit, and he starts to be dragged towards the stairs. "Woah, e-ase u-up! What's your issue?" Smile just growls, backing down the stairs and dragging Toby right along with him. "Alright, alr-right, fuck!"
Toby pauses by the door to yank on his boots, finally thinking to actually ask what's going on. "Is some-something wrong?" Smile barks, biting Toby's other boot and pushing it towards him to hurry him along. "Is it J-Jeff?" Toby asks as he forces his other boot on, and Smile barks again, an affirmative that sends a chill down Toby's spine. What could possibly be so wrong that Smile came to him? If Jeff was hurt Smile would go to Jack, or even Slender, wouldn't he?
As soon as Toby's got both boots on, Smile's shoving him forcefully towards the still open door, so Toby obliges. He steps out onto the porch, but Smile darts around him, bounding down the steps and pausing to growl at Toby. Toby follows, and at the first crunch of his boot on the dry grass, Smile starts running into the woods. Toby doesn't hesitate to follow.
Smile leads Toby through the trees all the way to a wall of bushes, but when Toby hesitates, Smile just bites into his sleeve and drags him through. Toby glances around, trying to remember if he's ever seen this place before, but his attention immediately falls on the figure curled on the ground near the large pine tree in the center of the clearing.
Jeff's sitting with his knees to his chest, his back pressed against the thick trunk of the tree, raven hair covering his face where it's hidden in his arms crossed on his knees. Toby walks over slowly, trying not to spook Jeff, and to get an accurate reading on what's wrong. When he gets closer, though, he notices Jeff shaking. Not shivering like it's cold, no. Deep rhythmic trembling, and now that Toby's close enough he can hear that each shake is accompanied by a deep, gut wrenching sob.
Toby feels his heart break at the sound, and he swears if he could feel pain, his chest would hurt with the force of the tightness within it. "Oh, baby..." He mutters as he sits down next to Jeff, ever so carefully wrapping an arm around his shoulders. He's only ever seen Jeff upset like this less than a handful of times, and it's been just as jarring every single time. Jeff doesn't even outwardly acknowledge that it's Toby that's there, just crumples into his side like a statue that's too weak to continue standing tall.
With Jeff's head carefully cradled against Toby's chest, and Smile pressed up against Jeff's back, Toby starts softly humming a tune under his breath, something he can't quite remember the name of, but is smooth enough to soothe the distraught body curled into his. "Wanna tell me about it?" Toby whispers into Jeff's hair, planting a soft kiss against his head.
A soft whine is his answer, and he thinks that'll be it, until Jeff sobs again and a flood of words come out. "It's my fault, I killed them all, I fucked up so bad. I didn't mean to, I didn't wanna hurt him, it's all my fault." The words all come out in a rush, and Jeff immediately starts sobbing again as soon as they're out of his mouth.
They've had this conversation once before, after Jeff had a nightmare, so he knows that the "him" that Jeff is talking about is his brother Liu. He doesn't know a lot about the other brother, but he's gathered that he and Jeff were fairly close before the incident. Toby doesn't really know how to respond, so he just holds Jeff closer, and hums a little softer. Smile whines in an eerie sort of way, pushing himself under Jeff's arm until he allows Smile to rest his unnaturally large head on Jeff's chest. Only then does he take his first regulated breath since Toby found him.
The three of them sit in silence until Jeff decides he's okay, but even then, Toby doesn't let him move on his own. Despite Jeff's protests, Toby lifts him up onto his back, insisting on carrying him back to the mansion. Smile Dog walks a bit ahead on the way back, leading the way so they don't get lost.
When they get back to the house, Toby runs a hot bath, and helps Jeff get warm and clean. The door stays open because Smile started freaking out as soon as Jeff was out of sight, ever protective of his owner. After the bath, Jeff was put into the softest cotton shirt and silk pajama pants Toby could find, and wrapped in the fluffiest blankets Toby has before being settled into bed.
Toby dresses himself before settling into bed beside Jeff, gently pulling him into his chest again, and to Toby's surprise, Jeff snuggles up to him willingly. Jeff still feels numb inside, his chest feeling hollow and his head pounding, but being with Toby makes it better somehow. He's not alone, and somewhere deep down he really believes that as long as Toby's here, he'll never have to feel alone again.