Archive of Our Own

The guild hall was rowdier than usual. More crowded. So soon after Alvarez, not many people wanted to hop straight into work again. It’d been hard on everyone. People showed it differently, naturally. 

Natsu noticed it on a few different people, Erza spent lots of time around the Master, helping him with paperwork. She also was very set on rebuilding Magnolia, and planting trees to help restore the agriculture in the surrounding area.

Mirajane and Lisanna spent more time together, Lisanna would help her sister out as a bar back sometimes. 

Cana drank. Not the usual Cana drunkenness though, she wouldn’t bother people as much, just get sad and go home. 

Wendy talked more, to more members of the guild, which she wasn’t usually the first person to do. She’d been particularly interested in the thunder legion. Much to Carla’s annoyance, she spoke to Laxus about his Lacrima-induced dragon slayer magic. When he got tired of her, she would speak to Freed about it, who always had every answer about Laxus that she so desired to know. Carla insisted they weren’t a good influence on her, that team Natsu was barely a good influence.

Gray was more susceptible to Juvia’s constant nagging, going shopping with her or talking to her alone, without ‘outsiders’. He was clearly affected by watching her die.

That brought Natsu to Lucy. She seemed normal, upon first inspection. She had the same happy expression, she wanted to go to work, her sparkle didn’t seem to dim. However, she’d been locking her doors and windows at night, which to any other person seems like a pretty normal occurrence, but not to Natsu. He’d at first thought it was because of the war, something to do with Brandish breaking into her apartment. Probably just a precaution.

But as time rolled on, it seemed to be something different, she also always found an excuse on why they shouldn’t go on overnight jobs, she still wasn’t locking her windows and doors during the day, even if she wasn’t home. 

Natsu wanted to get to the bottom of it, he’d asked her a few times, but Lucy was really good with words, and he struggled to be able to hold a debate with her for too long before she’d shut him down for good.

So, he’d decided it was detective time, and what better way than to break into her apartment during her day when her windows weren’t locked, and stay there to see what it was she did at night that she just couldn’t be around anyone else?

He was in the guild hall with Happy and sat at the bar, with Romeo.

Romeo had pretty tough skin these days, but he still looked up to Natsu like he was a hero. Natsu knew that, and tried to include him as much as possible. So he’d sit and have dinner with him at the guildhall. It was a good excuse to not sit with Lucy, which he needed today, so she wouldn’t see him slip away and ask any questions.

Lucy was sitting in a booth with Cana, who was slowly turning into sad Cana, which meant it was almost time for her to go home. He was pretty sure that Lucy would walk her back to Fairy Hills. That's when he and Happy would infiltrate the apartment on Strawberry Street.

So he waited, patiently, making small talk with Romeo, Mirajane and Lisanna to pass the time, until he heard:

“Okay, Cana, I think it’s time to get you home.” 

Lucy was packing up her things, and walked over to the bar, she placed her finished tea cup on the bar.

“Thank you Lisanna, you can make a really awesome cup of tea!” She beamed. “Night, Natsu, Happy! Night, Romeo!”

“Yeah, see you tomorrow Lucy.” Natsu said, he peered at her. She looked a little different today. He couldn’t place why. Her complexion was off. 

She broke away from his gaze and back to Cana, Lucy linked her arm with the brunettes and they headed towards the door.

“Is something bothering you, Natsu?” Lisanna asked him.

“Does Lucy seem different to you?” He asked, watching the pair leave the guildhall.

“You’d be the best person to ask that!” She laughed. “I don’t think anyone in this guild knows Lucy even half as well as you do.” 

“We’re gonna break into her apartment and see what’s wrong with her!” Happy announced.

“Sounds like an average night for the two of you then!” Lisanna laughed, and headed back to polishing glasses.

Any other time it was an average night, but not now, when Lucy did everything but move houses to ensure they never got in at night. She never minded before, no matter how much she screamed at them, she still kept the windows unlocked, just in case they came by.

“Come on, Happy. Now’s our time!” Natsu said. “See ya later, Romeo.”

“Bye, Natsu!” Romeo called, as the pair walked towards the exit.

—

They’d almost been found out too many times. They thought that the wardrobe would be the safest hiding spot, until Happy pointed out that she might hang up her current outfit, so whilst Lucy was in the bathroom, they switched to underneath her bed, far enough under that she wouldn’t see them.

“I’m bored Natsu! I don’t wanna do this anymore!” Happy whispered.

“Yeah this is boring.” Natsu agreed.

“So let’s just jump out and scare her!” Happy insisted.

Natsu sighed. Was he wasting his time? Was he actually committed to lying under a bed for hours just to see if there was something sinister going on with Lucy? 

They both covered their mouths as they saw Lucy walk towards the kitchen. 

“She hasn’t locked the window yet, you can go home if you want.” Natsu whispered to Happy.

“I’ll stay if you do…” he mumbled back. “But I’m going to sleep.”

Happy curled up next to Natsu, and fell asleep almost instantly. 

The tea kettle was hissing. Why did she insist on having such a long night time routine?

—

It felt like hours that Natsu and Happy were under her bed, the apartment was dark at this point, she’d just locked her windows and door and got into bed.

He waited for the slowing of her breathing, thanks to his heightened hearing, and the fact he was right below her, it wasn’t much of an issue. He manured Happy and slipped out.

Nothing weird happened at all. She hadn’t performed any weird rituals or done anything out of the ordinary. He was disappointed he’d wasted a whole evening on nothing. Natsu began to walk around the apartment to see anything out of the ordinary, but nothing.

He let out a frustrated sigh. Nonetheless, he sat down on the couch and wrapped himself in the blanket he used to use when he was allowed to sleep over. She'd probably kick him to another planet once she woke up, but he couldn’t find the energy to walk all the way home now.

—

Nasty woke with a start, Happy shaking him.

“Something's wrong with Lucy!” He whispered to Natsu.

He shot up, and looked to Lucy, who was asleep.

“She’s asleep?” Natsu looked at Happy who was clinging onto his arm.

He walked closer, to get a better look at what Happy was talking about, then he saw her right arm, it was littered with red lines, like wounds, which crept up her neck and some even on her face.

“What in the world?” He muttered.

She had a furrowed brow, sweating and breathing heavily.

“It’s like when she was writing that book.” Happy said.

The Book of E.N.D. Gray had told him about the red wound-like lines that consumed her, but supposedly he’d expelled them from her, so what was he looking at here?

She started to become restless, moving around in her sleep, her breathing became rapid.

“I thought Gray…” Natsu whispered.

A sob. 

Lucy was crying, he couldn’t stand it. Went and sat down beside her, looking at the girl in front of him, all he felt was pain. He’d done this. She’d taken all of this pain just for him. Now she was suffering.

“Do you think that’s why she won’t sleep near us?” Happy asked, clinging harder.

“Yeah… I guess.” Natsu mumbled.

Lucy rolled to her side, clutching herself, tears rolling down her nose, and onto her pillow.

“Shouldn’t we wake her up?” Happy asked.

Natsu didn’t know what to do. He went to touch her arm, but didn’t know if he should, he wanted to shake her awake, but he didn’t know if he should.

She was shaking, her face all crumpled. It induced a pain in his chest that he did not recognise, not like the anger he felt when someone else hurt her, something different.

She started thrashing again, and by instinct, Natsu grabbed her, trying to stop her from hurting herself.

“Hey, Lucy!” He said. “Hey, come on, wake up!” 

Natsu maneuvered the position they were in to sit against her headboard, holding her between his arms and legs.

“Why won’t she wake up?” Happy cried. 

“I don’t know! Lucy!” Natsu sat her up, still fighting against her thrashing, he held her against his chest tightly.

“Natsu?” She whispered. 

He held her waist tighter. But she pushed herself free, looking at him, mortified.

Her eyes weren’t shiny, they were like a matte brown. She looked way different, red lines all over her. But most of all she looked terrified.

“Natsu, you need to go. You need to get out of here.” She said, moving further away from him.

“You can’t be serious!” He half laughed. She was a mess, and now begging him to leave, not screaming at him for invading her privacy, not Lucy-kicking. Begging.

“Please, Natsu!” She raised her voice. “You could die!”

Natsu furrowed his brow, how would waking her up from a nightmare kill him? What the hell were these red lines doing to her? Happy was hovering nearby, too scared to get close.

“Luce, you need to calm down, you just had a nightmare!” 

“It’s not just that, Natsu! Please, I don’t ask you for much, just please get out of here, go home and don’t come back!” She pleaded.

“No! You’re freaking me out!” Natsu said.

“Fine!” Lucy swung her legs off the bed, stood up and started towards the front door.

“Where are you going?” Natsu called. “It’s the middle of the night!” 

Lucy didn’t say anything, she just grabbed her keys and a jacket, unlocked the door and walked out.

Natsu and Happy looked at each other, deeply confused.

“Am I dreaming?” Natsu asked.

“I think it’s me who’s dreaming!” Happy exclaimed.

What had just happened, why did she look like that? Why did she beg him to leave, and leave herself? In the middle of the night?

“Let’s go after her!” Happy announced.

“Should we? She seemed pretty adamant.” Natsu sighed. “I don’t want to freak her out again.”

“You have to at least see where she’s going!” Happy doubled down.

It’s true, it was the middle of the night and seemingly, if the pair stayed then she would end up wandering around all night.

“Okay, come on.” Natsu agreed and walked towards the door.

—

“Don’t come any closer, not right now.” Lucy had said.

She was sitting at the park, against the tree that she loved to curl up next to with a book, but that wasn’t how she looked now, she had her knees pulled up to her chest, looking at Natsu with wide and wild eyes.

“You gotta tell me what’s going on.” Natsu returned, standing a good distance away, he and Happy had split up to try and find Lucy.

“I’ve been reading. About this.” She gestured to the lines that littered the right side of her body. “There isn’t much information, I’ve tried to figure out why it only happens when I sleep. I think it’s a curse. Something from when I rewrote that book.”

“Yeah. Happy said that that’s when they appeared, but I thought Gray expelled them?” 

“So did I, but then…” she trailed off, breaking eye contact with Natsu, looking anywhere but at him. “There is a darkness in me, I think.” 

“Darkness?” Natsu was confused, a darkness being in Lucy was like an ice cube in a raging fire, impossible.

“Yeah, I read a book about Zeref, it talked about the darkness that followed him.” She sighed. “They think it was from writing demons into existence.”

“Oh.” Natsu sighed.

“Don’t blame yourself. I made that decision to write that book.” Lucy insisted.

“Why are you making me stand so far away from you? You seem sane. I don’t think you’re gonna hurt me.” He asked.

“It’s not that, I don’t think it’s true, but the books talked about a curse. The curse of contradictions.” She explained. “It’s a black art. One that kills anything it touches.”

“Lucy, you just re-wrote a book, I really don’t think you are suddenly cursed.” Natsu insisted.

“I don’t think so either! But I can’t take any chances!” Lucy cried. “It’s like a different form.” She looked at her arm. “Until I figure it out, you can’t come by my house at night. I’m sorry, Natsu, that’s just how it has to be for a while.”

“Why didn’t you say something?” Natsu started to pry. 

Lucy sighed. She looked at him sadly, a tear escaping. 

“I didn’t want you to feel sad.” She said softly. 

His eyes softened. “Lucy…”

“Just, go home Natsu. I’ll come by the guild hall tomorrow.” She said, grabbing the tree to help herself stand.

“I… can’t leave you.” Natsu said. “We should go to Porlyrusica. She’ll help!” 

“Okay, if I promise to go to Porlyusica, will you go home?” She laughed.

“I’ll go home.” He agreed.

—

A few days had passed since that night, and everything was still as normal as ever. 

Lucy told Natsu about her visit with Porlyusica, that she needed to do some research, and that she was to come back in a week.

Today, they were sitting in a booth at the guildhall. Lucy begged him to not say anything to anyone, she didn’t want it to be a hindrance, but the fact that she’d been constantly excusing herself for overnight jobs was a big tell that something wasn’t right.

But Lucy could talk her way out of anything, she was really good with words, and managed to convince everyone that she was just fine every time.

She clearly hadn’t been sleeping, though. Natsu realised that the complexion difference he’d noticed was that she’d been applying more make up to hide the bags that started to form under her eyes. 

“Did you sleep last night?” He asked her, tentatively.

“No.” She answered truthfully and took a sip from her tea.

“Do you get nightmares whilst…” he trailed off, whilst what? Was it a demon form? What could he call it?

“I don’t know if you could call it nightmares. It’s something different.” She looked down. Clearly not enjoying talking about it. “Just leave it, Natsu.” 

He sighed. Just leaving it seemed futile. There surely wasn’t any harm in talking about it. But Natsu didn’t want to upset Lucy any more than she was already dealing with.

During the day, you really wouldn’t know that she was going through anything, she was always taking care of Cana, or gleefully chatting with Wendy and Erza, or swapping book recommendations with Levy. Or scolding Natsu and Gray.

Mirajane had noticed, though. She was observant like that. Always noticing when someone needed a different drink to normal or if they needed a hot meal. 

She definitely noticed that Lucy tended to take quick low paying jobs more often rather than longer high paying jobs. 

She’d asked Natsu what was going on and he insisted nothing that he knew about.

Lucy had avoided her, knowing full well that she couldn’t lie to Mirajane. It was an impossible feat. That made Natsu think.

“Do you think it’s like a takeover thing?” He asked.

“Maybe.” She said, short answers. She’d been short with Natsu for the last few days. 

She got up, saying she needed to use the bathroom, and walked away from him, coincidentally, Mirajane walked over, from serving a couple of beers to whoever.

“Have you asked her what’s going on?” She asked Natsu.

“She says she’s fine.” Natsu leaned back, putting his hands behind his head.

Mirajane raised an eyebrow and just walked away. She knew that he was hiding something, clearly.

But it was okay, Porlyusica was working on it.

—

“Hey Levy, any chance that you borrowed any books from the library recently?” Lisanna approached the table and asked Levy.

It’d been around two weeks since Natsu discovered Lucy’s secret. She’d been getting worse. She hadn’t been eating properly, certainly not sleeping properly either.

“No, I usually leave a note when I do!” Levy replied.

“I was looking for these specific books, Mira said we definitely had them, but I can’t find them anywhere.” Lisanna complained.

“What books are they?” Levy asked.

“Takeover magic books, just basic skills books but I’ve been looking to read them again.”

Natsu locked eyes with Lucy, certain that she’d been the one who took them, she quickly broke eye contact and went back to journaling.

“I’m sorry, Lisanna. I’ll check my bookshelf tonight to make sure.” Levy beamed.

Why wasn’t Lucy saying anything?

Natsu was thoroughly confused as to why the girl was hiding the fact that she was researching what was happening to her. There wasn’t anything embarrassing, he’d thought.

Lucy was white as a sheet, she looked like she’d seen a ghost, she got up, and started walking towards the bathroom. She’d been taking a lot of bathroom breaks recently. He noticed so many things about her, things that she clearly thought she was hiding well, and maybe to someone who didn’t know her as well as he did, she was.

“Natsu. We’ve found a job, we will leave tomorrow morning!” Erza marched up to the table and handed him the sheet. 

Something about monster slaying, somewhere near Sakura City. 

“That’s way too far to travel. I am not taking a train for multiple days.” He pouted.

“We will stop in the middle, they aren’t expecting us for a couple of days.” She insisted.

An overnight trip, Lucy would refuse it for sure. 

“Isn’t there anything closer?” He rolled his eyes.

“I don’t think I’ve ever heard you back down from a job.” Erza taunted.

She clearly wanted to get a rise out of him so he’d agree to go. It almost worked, until:

“Wendy!” Mirajane shouted. “Is Wendy here?!”

Everyone’s heads turned to the frantic barmaid.

“She isn’t here, what’s wrong Mira?” Erza said.

“Something's wrong with Lucy!”

“What?!” Natsu shot up. He clambered over to where Mira was, along with a few others that he didn’t take note of in his hurry.

“Someone get Porlyusica!” Was yelled by someone, again, not of Natsu’s interest, his only interest right now was Lucy.

He followed Mira to the girls bathroom, and almost threw up.

Lucy was on the floor, the red lines covering her body again, seizing.

“What in the world?!” Erza gasped.

“Why is this happening the day that Wendy’s gone?!” Natsu frantically said. “What do we do?!” He looked around, and saw Erza’s, Gray’s and Levy’s mortified faces.

“I can help, I’ll do what I did last time.” Gray finally said, and went to kneel at her side.

“Has this happened before?” Erza asked, not to anyone in particular, just to the room.

Gray started trying to expel the demonic curse from her skin, like he’d done during Alvarez.

“I-“ Natsu tried to say something but was horrified by the scene in front of him. “I don’t think so. Not when I’ve been around.” He managed to choke out.

“Oh god, I need to get some fresh air!” Levy squealed and ran the other way.

Natsu felt himself sweating, but Gray’s tactic was actually working, as the lines disappeared and Lucy fell still.

“Is she okay? Is she…” Erza asked, everyone knew what she was asking.

Gray lay two fingers to her neck and nodded.

“Move her to the infirmary until Porlyrusica arrives.” Erza ordered.

“Oh my goodness, I’ve never had such a fright in my life!” Mirajane panted. 

Gray picked Lucy up, Natsu just watched the scene, dumbfounded by what had just occurred in the past minute. 

He started to walk towards the infirmary, Erza following. But Natsu didn’t move, he couldn't stop sweating, he felt sick to his stomach.

“Are you okay, Natsu? Maybe you should get some fresh air too.” Mirajane advised, placing a hand on his arm.

“I’m fine.” He said plainly. 

“Did you know she…” She clearly tried to find the best way to word it. “Was having episodes like that?”

He shook his head, body unmoving. 

“Well, it’s alright, Porlyrusica will have a look at her. She’ll be fine, Natsu!” Mira told him. But she didn’t sound sure either. 

Natsu looked at Mirajane, completely dumbfounded.

“You’re right. I should get some air.”

He started towards the main hall, ignoring any questions or comments from anyone around him and broke through the front doors, Levy was standing with Gajeel. She said something to him but he completely ignored her.

He took a deep breath of the fresh, spring air. Then let out a sigh.

“Hey, are you listening?” Levy asked again.

“Huh? Oh, sorry.” Natsu turned to her.

“Is she… gonna be okay?”

“Yeah, she’s in the infirmary. Just some weird episode.” He confirmed.

Just some weird episode. He didn’t even believe that himself. Has this happened before? Natsu paled at the thought. Surely she would’ve told him about it. Something as major as that.

He turned straight back into the hall, knowing he needed to get those answers from her. Natsu stormed all the way to the infirmary and burst through the doors.

“Woah there, slow your roll flame for brains.” Gray muttered.

“Shut it, Gray.” He spat back. Then he looked at Lucy, sweating, with a crumpled face in the infirmary bed. She looked bad.

There was water on the nightstand, for when she woke up. 

He looked at the girl in front of him, suffering. Suffering just for the sake of making sure he stayed alive.

“She shouldn’t have done it.” Natsu mumbled.

“You think this has something to do with the book?” Gray asked.

“Well, she thinks so.” Natsu answered.

“You knew?” Erza chimed in.

“Well, I knew she was having nightmares, and when she had the nightmares the red lines would appear. Or, something like that.” He admitted. “I didn’t know about this stuff.”

“You should’ve said something to me.” Gray muttered.

“She didn’t want me to. She’s been to see Porlyrusica already.” Natsu scowled.

“Porlyrusica just let her go about her days? Surely she would’ve examined her or kept her for observation.” Erza questioned.

“I don’t know.” Natsu muttered.

The three of them all stood, staring at Lucy. Until the door swung open, revealing the healer of Fairy Tail herself.

“So, what’s going on now?” Porlyusica grumbled.

“She had some sort of seizure.” Erza explained. “She had red lines all over her body, until Gray managed to expel them.”

“Red lines?” Porlyusica questioned. “How do you mean?” 

“She came to see you about then a couple weeks ago, don’t you remember?” Natsu furrowed his brow.

“She did no such thing. Tell me about these lines.” Porlyusica came closer and pulled the sheet back that was laying atop Lucy. 

Gray started to explain everything, rewriting E.N.D, how the lines appeared and that she’d described them as burning.

Natsu let out the biggest sigh he’d ever experienced, putting his head in his hands.

She never actually went to see Porlyusica. It was a ruse, she was actually trying to do the research herself, hence the books.

“What the hell, Lucy…” he whispered, quiet enough that nobody could hear.

“Okay. Get out.” Porlyusica demanded, and Erza and Gray complied.

“Why?” Natsu asked.

“I need to examine her and I’m preserving her dignity. Get out.”

“Come on, man. Let her work.” Gray said, holding open the door.

“It’s nothing I haven’t seen before.” Natsu muttered. 

Erza grabbed his arm and dragged him out the room. 

“Let me go!” He cried.

“No! You’re distracting. Don’t you want her to get better?” Erza demanded.

Natsu did want her to get better, of course. But he didn’t want to leave her. He kept letting her get away with handling this alone. He couldn’t stand it.

She’d gotten away from him that night he found out, every time she went to the bathroom, was she having an episode? That was tons of times.

So, after letting Erza drag him out, and close the infirmary doors, he freed himself and slid down the wall next to the door.

“Are you really just gonna sit there?” Gray asked.

“Yeah.” Nasty replied, shortly. 

“Suit yourself.” He said and walked away.

“Do you want a glass of water?” Erza asked.

“No.” He replied, shortly.

Erza realised he wasn’t in the mood for other people, clearly, so let him be.

—

Almost an hour had passed, a few people had come by to see if there had been any progress. Natsu told them, of course not, why else would he be here still? 

He was alone when Porlrusica finally opened the door. He jumped up at the speed of sound. 

“So what’s going on?” Natsu immediately asked.

“She’s crazy. That’s what’s going on.” Porlyusica said.

“Well, clearly. But what about physically?” He pried.

“She’s inflicted with some sort of curse.”

That set off alarm bells in Natsu’s head. That curse she was talking about? The one that plagued Zeref?

“The curse of contradiction?” He asked, tentatively.

“God, no.” Porlyusica shook her head. “Something different, I’ll have to read up on it, but it seems to be something that causes mental pain to manifest into physical pain.” 

“So she’s stressed?” He dropped his jaw. “That was all because she was stressed?”

“Don’t be so dismissive.” She lectured. “No, stress wouldn’t be a deep enough pain to cause something like a seizure, more like a headache.” 

He nodded along, starting to understand.

“It has to be some deep trauma, something that’s really bothering her.” She explained.

“Is she okay?” He asked, in a small voice.

“She’s fine for now. I gave her an elixir that will ease her for a while. You should be with her when she wakes.” Porlyusica nodded. “I’ll tell the others, then take my leave. Bring her to my cabin tomorrow please.” 

Natsu nodded. “I’ll be sure of it.”

The pink haired mage walked towards the hall. Natsu opened the door to the infirmary. Lucy looked less ill. The sweating had stopped, though her hairline was a little wet from residue. Her face was relaxed.

Natsu sat down on the chair next to her bed, and scooted it as close as he could possibly get. He moved a stray hair out of her face, and felt her stir.

“Yo.” She croaked.

“Yo.” He replied. “Don’t lie to me like that again.” 

“Good morning to you, too.” She said, looking guilty.

“I’m glad you’re okay.” He added. “You don’t have the curse of contradiction.” 

“I heard.” She smiled. “Guess I was a little dramatic.” 

“Why did you lie?” Natsu said.

 “I’m an idiot?” She offered.

“You scared everyone.” He lectured.

“I’m sorry, I didn’t think that would happen, it’d only happened at night before.” Lucy muttered.

“It’s happened before?” Natsu’s eyebrows softened, she’d had to deal with that alone before? With no Gray or Porlyusica to help?

“I don’t remember it all clearly but I’m pretty sure.” She sighed.

They looked at each other for a while, clearly trying to figure out the other. Lucy sat herself up, and reached for the water on the nightstand. She took a sip and looked back at Natsu, who was looking at her like she was the most fragile thing on earth.

“Hey, Natsu?” She asked, quietly.

He raised an eyebrow.

“Can you stay at my place tonight? If it’s not weird.”

“Yeah, sure.” He nodded.

—

Lucy was pacing around the apartment, whilst Natsu peered from the couch. 

“I don’t understand how that episode was brought on. Porlyusica said something really traumatic had to have happened, we were just sitting drinking tea!” 

It was the middle of the night. Lucy had been up and down, unable to sleep. Natsu was insanely tired, but listened to her nonetheless. 

“Lucy, you really need to sleep.” Natsu said, laying on the couch, barely keeping his eyes open.

“No! I need to figure this out. Why this curse? How did that book give me this specific curse? Can I reverse it?” 

She had multiple books open around the apartment, she had papers and pens to write down the specific things she needed to remember.

“Please, Lucy!” He whined.

“Okay, you go to sleep. I’ll turn the lamp off.” She walked over to her bedside table and tapped the lamp until it was off.

But she continued to pace. He tried to ignore her, and tried to drift off to sleep. But she stubbed her toe and didn’t let him not hear.

So he stood up, found her in the dark room and grabbed her, he picked her up.

“Hey Natsu! Put me down.” She cried.

“Go to sleep!” He whined back.

He laid her down on her bed, and climbed in beside her.

He held her there, in his arms.

“Natsu! I don’t need you to hold me down!” She insisted. 

“Okay. But this is comfortable.” Natsu confirmed. Her back fit comfortably against his chest, her legs sat perfectly against his. His arms felt the perfect length to fit around her waist.

She was clearly shocked by the position that they were in, as he felt her growing hot, her heartbeat picking up.

“Hey…” she whispered. “Is this kind of weird?”

“Just go to sleep Lucy!” He whispered back.

“Well… okay then.” Lucy wiggled the position so that she wasn’t tightly against him, instead comfortably. 

She was clearly tired, even if she hadn’t noticed it herself due to her mind going crazy.

It didn’t take long for her breathing to slow and her mind to switch into sleep. She definitely hadn’t been sleeping well, Natsu thought, for her to fall asleep as fast as she did, in a position like this.

If she wasn’t sleep deprived she would’ve Lucy-kicked him to the moon for trying something like this.

He took a breath, taking in this moment with her.

Then he fell asleep too.

Unfortunately the peace didn’t last long, as Natsu woke up, lying on his back, with a hand and head on his chest, sweating and shaking.

He peeled his eyes open, to look down at the girl next to him, hand clenched and eyes squeezed shut.

He placed a hand on her back, and started to run it up and down to try and soothe her. Natsu couldn’t stand it, he couldn’t stand the last two weeks, it’d been agonising knowing that every time Lucy tried to sleep that this would happen, he lulled his head to look at the room, books scattered everywhere, it looked like the house of a mad woman.

He placed his other hand on her back, holding her close. She didn’t have to go through it alone, he needed her to know that he would be there for her, no matter what.

But how could he heal trauma? What could he do to stop her feeling this pain? 

Lucy suddenly pushed herself up, freeing herself from Natsu’s arms. She was kneeling on her bed, breathing deeply, and her eyes looked wild.

“Hey, it was just a dream.” Natsu whispered to her, propping himself up by his elbows. That didn’t seem to calm her though. She looked at Natsu with worried eyes, clearly wishing that he’d say something specifically that she needed to hear, but he didn’t know what that was.

“What’s wrong, Lucy?” He added.

She lay back down, further away from Natsu this time, and facing away.

“I can’t help you if you never tell me what’s wrong, you know.” Natsu huffed at her.

He rolled onto his side, facing away from her too.

“I have these dreams.” She whispered, just loud enough for a dragon slayer to hear. “But I’m always the bad guy.” 

“Well you know that they’re just dreams then.” He said.

“No, they feel real, it’s not like a regular dream.”

“Well, nightmares do…” Natsu started. “I get them too sometimes.”

“It’s more like seeing my future, it’s just snippets, but I think it’s real life.” She added.

Natsu rolled to face her, she was clutching herself now. Still facing the wall.

“They aren’t real.” He said, definitively. He put a hand on her arm. “You would never be the bad guy.”

The salty smell of her tears filled his nose, he hated that smell.

“You don’t know that, what if this curse makes me a bad person, what if there’s more to it than just what Porlyusica said?” She whispered, through wet tears.

“Then we’ll figure it out together. Stop trying to do it alone when there’s a whole guild of people who want to help you.” 

Lucy went quiet, wiping her tears away. She placed a hand on his, that sat on her shoulder. 

“Thank you, Natsu.”

—

There they were, in Porlyusica’s cabin, Lucy on the bed, and Natsu hovering close.

“It’s a demon's curse, child.” She started. “It’s not going to be nice for you.” 

“I know that, but it’s there any way to break the curse?” Lucy pleaded.

“You made that deduction when you rewrote that book, you can destroy the book to free yourself from the curse but I’m guessing you also know what that does to your friend here.” Porlyusica said.

“But I don’t understand, the book is already gone, and Natsu is still here!” She added.

“The book isn’t gone. It’s rewritten now, you signed your writing, didn’t you?” Porlyusica raised an eyebrow.

“Yeah, I did.” Lucy said. “Was I not supposed to?”

“It’s good that you did. But that’s now your book. According to arcane laws, all of the book is now credited to you. It’s been republished.” 

Natsu and Lucy nodded along, trying to make sense of what Porlyusica said.

“Rather, regenerated. It’s somewhere in this world, I would need more time to figure out if it would be anywhere significant, or rather, random. There's not much I can do for you without more information, as far as I’m aware you’re the only person to have ever attempted rewriting a book of Zeref.” Porlyusica said sadly. “It wasn’t a very well thought out decision.”

“It was a brave decision.” Natsu interjected.

“You call it brave, I call it suicidal. To each their own.”

Lucy looked down, Natsu wished he could read her thoughts. He wished he had that magic where you could hear what someone was thinking.

“Don’t worry, Porlyusica, I’ll figure it out. I’ve been researching demon take-overs.” Lucy said. “I’m going to figure this out.” 

“You have to be careful researching about Zeref, though. Most who do fall down a very dark path.” She added, with a warning tone.

“I know. But it’s okay!” Lucy looked up to Natsu. “I’ve got my friends to keep me sane!” She beamed at him.

He couldn’t help but smile back at her, so determined. She did this all for him, to make sure he wasn’t plagued by this demon’s book again. The least he could do was make sure she didn’t get hurt by it too.

—

As they walked back to the guild hall, Lucy seemed less tense, the normal Lucy.

“So, what are we gonna do?” Natsu questioned.

“We’re gonna research!” She said, excitedly.

He huffed at that. “I wish there was just someone I could beat up. All this research stuff is making my brain hurt.”

She laughed at that. “Well, you don’t need to do any of the reading. I’m all over that.”

Natsu wished there was more he could do to help, but until he figured it out, making sure Lucy stayed the bright, happy girl she always was, would be enough for him.