Work Text:
But within the light, illusions thrive…
Who am I to be the one to judge?
I go to sleep every night blind to the cracks on my soul. My mind heads no caution to the ones I let in, telling me to trust, that much good exists on this planet if I just look under it's rocky crust. That no matter how hurt I get, people can change, I just need to be a guiding net.
I want to sink but I float, strung along with the current, unable to be caught by any nets not my own. "You can't fix them" they say, but if they can't be saved, am I unfixable too? How am I supposed to leave them when I am the same too?
I wish I could stop. People say I'm wasting my time. Worrying and caring for ones who will never glance back. But I can't stop here, so what if I get hurt? Friends are to be trusted, the choice between good and bad makes even the littlest kindness beam. I've people have off days, people have struggles, people have millions of things happening off screen. So is it so wrong to let them relieve their frustration on a friend? To help them fix their problems that they can't themselves?
I've wished anyone to do the same for me.
Its not like anyone other than me gets hurt.
I met a friend, they seem to be hurting too. They drifted away through my fingers like fine grains of hot sand, leaving nothing but burns. My friends tell me to let them go. That they deserve the isolation for their words. That they clung too hard. And they are probably right. But all I see is a mirror, relecting my own soul. Haven't I said those words before? Don't I cling just as much? Theres no way they meant that. I've made those mistakes before. Wouldn't it be hippocritical of me to abbandon them?
I wish I could sink, to stop trusting so hard, to stop looking at it from all sides. I wish I could stop getting hurt, I wish I would learn from the pain. Yet I float to the surface and breathe in the air of hope. Of baseless fucking hope.
So I clip on my mask, and send a message.
|
[Hey ———! We haven't talked in a while but I miss ya. Hope you're doing well! We should hang out this weekend. You better not leave me on read again >:c]