Chapter Text
Klavier scrolled through the search results on his phone, clicking through Reddit posts and wikiHow pages.
Set time aside, don't be too apologetic, set boundaries, said one article.
He sighed. The fact that these resources were mostly for people who had partners like Klavier annoyed him. He was already worried that Apollo wouldn't want to stay in a relationship with someone who couldn't satisfy him sexually, and seeing the abundance of articles for people who need to “deal with” an asexual partner did all but help his anxiety.
After his purposeful scrolling became mindless, he decided the best course of action was to shut off the phone; these searches were not helping the situation by any means, past the few resources he found.
Tomorrow, he decided. Tomorrow.
“Forehead, Liebling, do you think we could… sit down a moment?”
The two were in Klavier's residence, Apollo having just gotten out of a shower. Having been together for about 5 months, this wouldn't be the first night Apollo had stayed over, and Klavier, sitting on the gray couch and looking down, hoped it wouldn't be his last.
“Yeah, what's up?” Apollo inquired, walking in the living room and planting himself next to his lover on the sofa.
“There is… something I need to tell you.” Klavier wasn't the type to get anxious, but when it came to the idea of losing people, especially his Apollo, he couldn't help but feel like a nervous wreck.
Apollo said nothing, tilting his head. Worried, maybe.
“I… I am asexual, Apollo. As in, I don't feel sexual attraction to anyone, and I don't think I will be able to engage in any… sexual activities with you. Or anyone for that matter. If this is a dealbreaker, I under–”
“You've gotta be kidding me!”
Silence. It was deafening, and Klavier's heart was pounding in his chest as he felt it difficult to breathe.
“Fuck- holy shit. That's not what I meant, I'm sorry Klav. I just- Let me ask you this. If you don't want to have sex, it doesn't matter to you if I actually have a dick or not, right?”
Huh?
Klavier nodded, confused.
“Thank God, I was worried.” Apollo noticed his boyfriend’s panicked expression. “Klav, I'm sorry again. I was just caught off guard. See—I'm a trans guy. I don't have any surgery so I was worried about how you'd react.”
Silence, this time wrapped in bewilderment rather than panic.
“Ah. So… you don't mind, do you? I am aware that some asexual people are alright with sex, but I don't think I'd be able to engage in it and enjoy myself, ja? That is why I was so worried that you wouldn't be happy with someone who couldn't give you that satisfaction.”
Apollo responded not with words but with a gentle hug, arms wrapped around Klavier's torso, wet hair dripping onto his shoulder.
“I'm sorry again, Klavier. I didn't mean to make you feel that way. Now, enough about me.” He released the hug. “You got any boundaries I need to be aware of? I would hate to accidentally make you uncomfortable.”
“Well, I'm fine with kisses and hugs, as long as they are from you, Meine Liebe.” Klavier gave a signature wink and smiled at the sight of Apollo rolling his eyes and going slightly red. “As for other things, that may be things we have to figure out along the way. I just know that I do not see myself enjoying sexual activities, despite what my music and rockstar persona may claim.”
“Thanks for telling me, Klav.” Apollo gave one of his rare gentle smiles, a smile he only gave when with Truce or Klavier.
A moment passed, before Klavier actually absorbed the discussion they just had.
“Wait—you’re trans?”
“Yeah. I was worried about having to tell you. I know you're bi and all but all sense of logic goes to shit when you have anxiety.”
“I suppose I get it. I was quite the wreck when deciding how to come out to you myself.”
This time, Klavier took the initiative of a hug, and Apollo happily reciprocated. The taller man kissed his boyfriend on the forehead gently.
“Ich liebe dich.”
“Love you too. Always.”
The rest of the night was wonderful. The two put on the absolute masterpiece that was the Mean Girls Musical and sang along obnoxiously to the lyrics. However, by the end, Apollo was curled into Klavier’s side.
“...is this okay?” Apollo muttered, barely loud enough for the blonde to hear.
“Ja. Thank you.”
Apollo simply hummed in response, comfortable.
Things were okay, Klavier thought, as he felt himself drifting to sleep.