Chapter Text
There are no chance encounters. They are either a test or a gift of fate.
— Erich Maria Remarque
Sae Itoshi has left.
No, don't think about it, Rin was very happy for his brother.He was genuinely proud of it, but along with Sae, all the warmth disappeared from this house.
At first, everything was relatively normal, he came home from school, told his parents how the day had been, and they had dinner together.But then they were more and more late at work.Then a business trip for a week.Then for a month.And so they went abroad for an unknown amount of time and the only news from them is the money coming into the account every month.
In just two months, the house, once filled with laughter, warmth and comfort, became a cold, aloof space that was both cramped and too spacious.
But Rin was not discouraged, he just continued to live on. In other respects, probably, little has changed.
Awake.Have breakfast.School.Lunch.Training.Lessons.Workouts. Dinner.Dream.Awake.Have breakfast.School.Lunch.Training.Lessons.Workouts. Dinner.Dream.
And so on in a circle.
It was hot as hell that Sunday afternoon.It felt like the sun hated you and just wanted to split you into atoms.
But that was no reason to cancel the training, Rin had to train a lot so that he would be noticed like his brother, so that he could one day become a better striker like his nii-chan.Then what's the point of football, right?He needed to train harder, he needed to give his best until his legs gave out, until his lungs burned, until there was nothing left but an overwhelming need to destroy.
His T-shirt stuck uncomfortably to his body, beads of sweat trickled down his forehead, his throat felt dry as if he hadn't drunk in years, and his muscles were starting to ache.But Itoshi didn't give up, he didn't even think about stopping.More accurately...He wasn't thinking at all.Right now, there was only him, the ball, and the goal in the backyard.
It was simple:
Kick-the ball flew in a graceful arc straight into the goal.
Kick-the ball hit the post.
Kick-the ball did not reach the goal.
Kick-the ball didn't hit the goal the way he wanted it to.
Collect all the balls and start all over again.And so on until all four balls hit the way he wanted them to.So I had to start again, and again, and again, and again.At some point, Rin Itoshi stopped thinking about his goal.
Blow-No, it's bad.I have to try harder.
Kick-I wonder if nii-chan trains the same way?
The blow is not, he's probably doing well.
Kick- he's so busy in Spain, he probably trains a lot.
To collect the balls, yes, that's why he doesn't write to me, he's just busy.
Punch- if I can catch up with him, if I get noticed, then I will definitely see him.
A blow, and then we'll be together again....Wait what?
Suddenly, something vaguely resembling a human body fell off the fence.Right under the trajectory of the ball, which caused it to hit the man right in the face, but he didn't even scream.He lay motionless on the ground and held something vaguely similar to a football in his hands, as if he wanted to protect and hide it from the whole world.Rin's ball, in turn, bounced softly somewhere towards the flower beds.
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Ketsu Ritsuko didn't like his parents.He was sick of the smell of alcohol, of the screams and accusations, of the slaps, of their tears, of promises that this would not happen again, of hugs, sweetly tender words of love, of their touches, faces, smell, sight.He wanted to wash himself in boiling water and take off his skin when they hugged him, crying and kneeling, right after hitting him with a bottle.But he endured, because little Ketsu hoped that this time everything would be different.They're definitely going to stop drinking now. And then all over again, but Ritsuko, even after years, did not stop believing in them.
It was Sunday, and his parents sent him to the store to buy bread with their last money and, as they put it, "drink for dinner," but twelve-year-old Ketsu understood what they meant by that.
However, he did not want to return home at all, he had no desire to be in this musty, dirty and deceitful room.That's why he's been hanging around the streets for hours with a package in his hands.
Passing by another playground, he heard screams, shouts, laughter, and the young Ketsu wondered what was going on there.
Ritsuko found a hole in the fence and carefully, trying not to get caught by his clothes, squeezed through there.
He saw a group of guys, divided into teams of 5 people, kicking a black and white ball.
They ran around the field, shouted something to each other, bypassed others, and after the ball hit the improvised goal, they rejoiced and shouted "goal."
Ritsuko was curious.
Is one ball really capable of giving so much joy to people?Just one thing makes so many people come together.
He watched some guys spin him in the air with casual ease, as they receive him right in the air, in a jump, as at the last moment someone stands in front of the goal, preventing him from scoring.And it all seemed so much fun, so easy and simple.
Ketsu wanted to ask to join them, but something stopped him, as if rooted to the ground.Therefore, he could only be a silent observer.
But it was as if fate itself had turned its gaze on him.
The ball flew out of play and rolled right at his feet.
He was so close.Ketsu's hands reached out to him on their own.And when he took it, it seemed to him as if he was holding something connected, he was so perfect, as if he had been created to be in Ritsuko's hands.
- Hey, kid, give me the ball, please.
And then Ritsuko felt something in the depths of him tighten into a tight knot.
How's that?
He didn't want to .
He didn't intend to say goodbye to him so soon.
His parents would never buy one for him, they would say it was a waste of money.
And here he is, in his hands.
"So what?"Did you fall asleep?
With that, Ritsuko had only one thought.
If you want to keep it...
Run.
He ran, he didn't care about the consequences, about the food, about anyone and everything.From now on, it would be just him and the ball in this world, and then he would decide what to do somehow.The main thing is that no one will dare to take his prey away from him, he also wants this drop of happiness, he also wants to kick and laugh.
Ketsu ran with all his might, he jumped over benches, dived into dark alleys with the smell of garbage, climbed onto the roofs of all sorts of sheds and jumped from there into other people's gardens, but he felt he was being chased.
Ritsuko knew that there were ten people running after him right now, even though they were ten people who were furious.
Ketsu didn't even understand how, but he started running forward on pure adrenaline, climbing over fences, trampling on someone else's lawn, running across other people's beds, bumping into angry dogs that tried to bite him.His heart was beating so hard that it seemed he could hear the blood circulating through his veins and vessels, his calves burned as if in hellfire, his knees threatened to give up, give way and make Ketsu collapse to the ground, and his lungs seemed ready to jump out of his chest and fall pitifully onto the asphalt.But Ritsuko stubbornly continued to run, clutching the stolen ball in his tight hands.
The steps behind him became slower and slower, the guy thought that this would be his last climbing over an unfamiliar fence, and then he would catch his breath and calm down, he would wait for the night, return to the playground and pick up his forgotten package.
Suddenly, the boy realizes that he cannot get off the fence, but something is holding him on his pant leg.He blindly suggested that she must have caught on a splinter, so he jerked his foot without looking.The leg got free, at the cost of balance.And Ketsu clumsily fell to the ground, but it didn't seem to be enough for the universe, because after that, Ketsu felt a blunt object fly into his face.
It hurt, but even so, Ketsu was not going to let go of his charm, he would give it only with a fight. Although, it doesn't seem necessary to give anything away.
The boy cautiously opens his eyes and cannot believe them.
Is he in heaven?
Are these the angels themselves?
There was a boy standing in front of him, about his age.
He held out his palm, which was covered with small scratches, abrasions, and small calluses, but it still seemed so clean, soft, and childlike.
Big, round, owl-like eyes, the color of the sea, looked at him.With five particularly long lower eyelashes, just like those dolls that stood on the windows of toy stores and looked straight into your soul.They seemed so kind, so bright.No one has ever looked at Ketsu Ritsuko with such warmth and tenderness.
His dark, black hair, with a dark green tint, seemed to be decorated with a halo of the sun.Although in fact, he just stood up and blocked it, plunging Ketsu into the shadow.
"Do you need help?"- the boy spoke up.And his voice sounded so calm and innocent, like the most gentle lullaby in the world.
And Ketsu...Ketsu just lay there clutching the ball in his hands, looking at the boy in front of him.
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When this misunderstanding fell from the sky onto his plot, and now he lies on the ground and looks at him without looking away with his big eyes, Rin felt a small pang of guilt. So he decided it would be wise to ask if he needed any help.
The boy was silent for a few seconds on this question, and then answered
- What are you doing here?
To be honest, Rin was taken aback by this statement.It was his backyard they showed up to, not him.And then they ask such questions, Rin didn't even know what to think.Therefore, the only thing his brain could generate in response to a dumb question was a dumb answer.
- I guess I live here—what about you?
The boy stared at him for a few seconds again, but this time he answered faster.
- I don't know, but now I have a ball!
After that, the stranger perked up, jumped to his feet and handed Rin his treasure.
It was a battered, old ball that was already ready to break in some places.
Then Rin looked at the boy.
He was slightly taller than Rin himself, by about four centimeters, his hair was sticking out in different directions, as if he had been spat out by a tornado, there was dirt on his cheek, his pants were frayed in places, and one leg was torn.
But he was smiling so radiantly that it seemed to Rin that a dozen people could be blinded by that smile.
The stranger didn't give him anything to say, and continued talking.
"What's your name?"My name is Ketsu Ritsuko, can I have Ketsu, and you?
- Itoshi Rin.Um, can I give you some tea as an excuse?
Rin didn't exactly hope for something, rather he even expected that this Ketsu would refuse out of politeness like any normal person, he would escort him to the exit and return to training.
But he agreed, that bastard.
They went into the house, Rin poured two mugs of tea, put some sweets on the table and... that's it.They sat down and didn't know what to talk about.Of course, Katsu tried to start the dialogue clumsily, but Rin seemed to spoil everything with his answers to his questions, so sometimes there was an awkward pause.And that pause in the conversation was suffocating.It was so uncomfortable that I wanted to get out of my skin and run to the edge of the world.
Ketsu was sitting at the table, clutching the same ball in his tight but already clean hands.He was constantly looking at everything as if he were in a museum.The gaze of those dark purple violet eyes clung to everything he found interesting, and he found a lot interesting.The table, the chair, the floor, the dishes, the cups, the spoons, the countertop, the refrigerator, the lamp, the stove- everything looked at the axis as if Ritsuko was conducting an audit in his house, trying to notice every speck of dust.
He also mostly just drank tea and didn't touch the plate of treats, at least not while Rin wasn't looking at him.He only had to look away for a second, as half of the cookies were already gone, and the boy was sitting on the opposite side as if nothing had happened.Itoshi didn't say anything to that, just slowly got up from his chair and poured more.
Finally, it was time for the guest to leave.Rin walked him to the door, they awkwardly waved to each other, Ketsu thanked him once again, and silence fell again.He would never see him again.
Rin no longer had any desire to continue training, so it was decided to go to the shower and then sit down for homework.
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As soon as Ritsuko was outside Itoshi's house, he was overcome with boredom.
At least he brightened up his usual routine.Could it be said that luck was on his side today?He had a treasure, and not just one, but two!At first glance, Rin Itoshi seemed to him quite cute and funny.Which means Ritsuko wants to get to know him better.Maybe they'll meet again someday?For example, it will be an accidental collision at a local store.They'll look at each other for a few seconds thinking, "I've seen him somewhere."And they will separate forever.Or maybe they study at the same school and will meet there., and Ketsu will get Rina almost every break, they will eat chocolates from the vending machine and go home together.Or would they just see each other on the street?They'll walk past each other and Itoshi won't even notice him.In any case, they will definitely see each other again someday, although most likely they will be just strangers to each other again.
What am I supposed to do with the ball now? I took it away, but I don't know how to play.I'll have to, but I can't go back to the same field, what if the same kids are there?It turns out that you will have to look for a new place, both for walking and studying.
With these thoughts, Ritsuko did not even notice how he reached the house.
Ritsuko's house was significantly different from Itoshi's.
Unlike the Itoshi family's house, Ritsuko's house was a one-story small house with thin walls through which everything could be heard.With a meager set of furniture and things inside.
Ketsu opened the door and it made a nasty creak that sent goosebumps.He carefully took off his shoes and headed to his room.It was necessary to move on tiptoe, sometimes jumping over some boards, as they also made a disgusting creaking sound.
And now he was almost there, when, like a bolt from the blue, a voice rang out from behind him.
"And where are you going, young man?"
Two figures towered over him.His father crossed his arms disapprovingly over his chest, and his mother clenched her fists so that her nails dug into the roughened flesh in some places.
Then Ketsu remembered
He completely forgot about the package, and there's probably no point in going and picking it up.
Fuck
"Tell me, where have you been all this time?"Tell me, have you swallowed your tongue?
His father asked, looking straight into his eyes with cold expectation, while Ketsu could only stare at the boards on the floor, which he had already studied inside out.The mother was still stubbornly silent before she spoke.
- Look, he also drags garbage into the house.Or did you spend the money we gave you on this?
Before Ketsu could understand anything, the ball was snatched from his hands.Now his mother held him with dislike in one hand, at eye level, and thoughtfully examined him.
- That's what you do, right?!We give you money, we trusted you, we thought you'd buy what we asked for, but what's the result? What can I trust you with?Look, you've starved the whole family, and now we're going to eat water because you brainless bastard spent all our money on a toy.
His father spoke coldly, then patted him on the head.It was not the kind of display of feelings and attention that parents show to their children when they are proud or happy for them.It wasn't a pleasant pat on the head, but rather a gesture that only looked like pride.In fact, the blows were so strong that Ketsu felt like a rusty nail being driven into a rotten board.
- Don't worry, we'll just throw this ball away.This will teach you a lesson.
The man continued, after which his mother gently and carefully crouched down in front of him, which made her smaller than Ketsu and with a sweet intonation, as if she were talking about the weather, she began to talk
- So we trusted you, we trusted you with the food of our family for a few days.We thought that we could rely on you, our dear son, that you were old enough for this.And what do we see in the end?How did our trust turn out for us?Do you realize the seriousness of your actions?
The woman began to slowly squeeze his shoulder in a soothing gesture.With each passing second, her nails dug deeper into his flesh.Ketsu saw her hand tremble, either from tension or anger, but the sweet smile did not leave her face.
He wanted to forcefully pull out her hand and pull out all her nails, and preferably break a couple of fingers.But he stood stoically in one place, did not look up, did not twitch, did not move, not a single muscle on his face did not twitch.It seems that he was trying to merge with the wall, take the form of wooden panels and just stand motionless in one place all his life, even when this house is demolished, he will still remain in a wasteland among a huge grass.
- You do understand that if you were just being good, then with your next paycheck you could ask for this trinket and we would be happy to buy it for you.All you had to do was do what Mom and I asked you to do.
Lie.It was all a blatant lie.
My father spoke, matching the tone of my mother's voice.They were now standing on either side of Ketsu.One squeezed his shoulder until it hurt, the other began to pat him on the head, pulling at his hair and pulling out a few hairs.
Ritsuko felt surrounded.He would like them to take their filthy hands off him and forget that they have a son, although considering that they have been unable to forget their daughter for 12 years, Ritsuko has nothing to hope for.They circled around him like scavengers around prey before his father said he was annoyed by that dumb expression on Ketsu's face and they sent him to a room.He followed this instruction with joy.
But as soon as the door clicked and Ritsuko was left alone, he felt an unpleasant emptiness in his hands.It was as if a part of his body had been torn off, rather than something stolen from others.
Involuntarily, his thoughts returned to Itoshi's house, where it was so clean, fresh, quiet and peaceful.Rin didn't say anything about him, he had no intention of hurting him on purpose, he seemed so sincere and alive.
At midnight
While Itoshi Rin was lying in his bed in front of his phone, on which his private message with Sae was open.
Where was the last message from his nii-chan 3 months ago, before he left for Spain.But Rin couldn't be mad at him, it's still his brother and he's working very hard in another country, apart from his family, he's not up to Rin right now.
Ketsu Ritsuko was rummaging through a dumpster in search of his sun.Anxiety and guilt gnawed uncomfortably inside, but he continued to unceremoniously tear open each bag and shake it until he found the one that contained his ball.
After that, it was now hidden in his house in a closet, under the rubble of clothes.