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It was your fifth day in the digital circus—or at least, that’s what you thought. Despite only living there for such a short period of time, the hours started blending together. The only word you could refer to this situation as was surreal.
You didn’t know the proper world for it, but it felt like you were living in a dreamlike state, constantly disoriented with the space surrounding your absurd cartoon body. Occasionally, you felt like you were actually about to wake up. However, that state of lucidity would only last for a moment before you were thrown right back into the circus’ shenanigans. It was quite backwards, you thought.
While you physically felt the strain from all of Caine’s adventures, your mind was not caught up. You constantly doubted the possibility of this being nothing but a bizarre lucid dream.
The circus members were not always helpful either. For one, they had no steady explanation as to what was happening.
The only two people who cared enough to comfort you were Ragatha and Pomni, but even they weren’t able to ease your confused, racing thoughts.
The other members, Jax, Kinger, Gangle, and Zooble, were either too distant or too irritating.
With the frustrating nature of the circumstance, you decided to confide in yourself. If nobody else was going to help you—who was?
Alongside this, another aspect that confused you greatly was the inability of needing matters such as food and sleep. All aspects of human life were stripped from you, which only coerced you more into believing none of it was real—even if it was.
As you laid in your bed and stared up at the lightless ceiling, you felt yourself becoming agitated. You needed to get out of the room and move around.
Maybe fresh air would help, you thought.
So, you crept out of the room and opened the door with a soft click. You weren’t sure if Caine was able to hear every noise you made—but you didn’t want to test out that theory.
The circus was still as vibrant as it was when you left to your customized room a few hours earlier. Humming, you began to wonder if Caine usually turned the lights off when it became “night time.”
Ridding your head of the tedious question, you slinked your way out of the hallway of rooms and downstairs to the main area.
You felt that the main area was too noisy—the soft hum of circus music playing constantly was too much for your mentally exhausted mind.
As you pondered, you remembered that there was an outdoors—which contained grassy hills, a glistening lake, and a plethora of other digitized topography.
Strolling out of the circus tent was quite easy. Well, easier than expected. You believed that Caine acted as a Big Brother figure, constantly watching over his prisoners to make sure they never disobeyed him.
And you would be right…sort of. While Caine constantly monitored everyone, he didn’t do it out of malice.
Not at all!
He only wanted to learn more about humans. Their behaviors, their emotions, what they liked, what they hated.
And especially what their lives were outside of the circus.
To the humans in the circus, the real world, or the “Macroverse” as he called it, meant everything to them. It contained everything they needed in order to survive the banality of loneliness.
At least that was how Caine saw it.
In his office, Caine held onto a small globe, observing it with immense focus. He carefully watched as you sauntered out of the tent, his expression slightly confused.
He wondered why you were up at such a late hour. Was this normal for humans?
He was suddenly snapped out of his train of thought when he watched you plop down onto a short patch of grass, which rested on the surrounding hills.
Your demeanor was relaxed as you laid down, letting yourself feel the digitized greenery. It was nothing like the real thing, but it was better than sitting in your room.
Looking up into the night sky, you notice the moon’s face—her demeanor just as relaxed as yours. You felt creepy for staring, so you decided to close your eyes—just in case. Making the moon uncomfortable was definitely not on your bucket list.
However, you began to feel uncomfortable when you suddenly felt a presence hovering over you.
“Whatcha doing out here?”
Shooting your eyes open with a soft gasp, you were quickly met with the large, curious eyes of the eccentric ringmaster.
“Caine?!—“
Before you could answer, he graciously floated upwards, placing his hands on his hips.
“You’re sure up late! Still thinking about today’s adventure?—How does it feel being the winner of the Fish Egg Round-up? I bet you’re buzzing with joy!”
You shook your head with disbelief, a soft chuckle escaping you.
“It feels great.”
He threw his hands in the air at your response.
“That’s great to hear, my dear! I hope you’re ready for tomorrow’s—it’s going to be filled with jazz music and restless porcupines!”
You sit up with your legs crossed, smirking up at him.
“Hah—don’t give it all away now. Then it’ll ruin the surprise for tomorrow.”
In response, he zipped his teeth, his voice becoming muffled.
“Loud and clear!”
You snorted at his dramatics—then looked up at him with an affectionate expression. When he unzipped his teeth, your expression shifted back to neutrality. As you opened your mouth to speak, he suddenly swooped down to your level and grabbed your hands.
Your heart rate quickened. But you shook away the implications on what that could have meant.
“We don’t want you being too drained for tomorrow’s adventure—“
As Caine raised one of his fingers to snap, you quickly interrupt.
“Wait!”
Realizing your plea came out louder than you expected, you cleared your throat.
“Ahem—Sorry, I meant—Why don’t you stay here…with me? For a bit?”
Caine stared at you, which only caused you to worry. Did you cross an unknown line with him?
As your mind raced, his pupils became enlarged—causing you to sigh in relief. He repeated your words with what one could describe as pure-hearted amazement.
“A human…wants me…to stay…with them?! How could I possibly say no to that!”
Before you could say anything in response, Caine quickly sat down right next to you, tapping his fingers against his knees in excitement.
“So—what should we talk about? Oh! How about you lovely humans? Or should we talk about the Macroverse? Or—“
“Caine.”
You softly rested your hand on his knee, attempting to level him out. You didn’t mind discussing those matters—but the way he threw questions at you was quite overwhelming.
He “blinked,” his posture straightening at your tone. It wasn’t harsh, but it was direct.
“We can talk about all of those things and more—but just one at a time, alright?”
Once he processes your request, he nods.
“Yes—y-yes, of course, my dear!”
You lay back onto the grass, raising your hands behind your head. Caine continued to sit up, anxiously tapping his thigh—as if he needed to be moving constantly. After a moment, he cleared his throat.
“What was life like for humans in the Macroverse?”
You raised a brow, then quickly realized he meant life “outside of the computer.” The real world.
It was such a simple question, you thought. But Caine wouldn’t understand a simple answer. The only way you could describe life was that it was so unimportant in the grand scheme of things.
Caine waited patiently as he watched your face contort with emotion.
“It was…trivial.”
Your answer was completely unexpected, at least in Caine’s perspective. He expected you to give an extensive spiel about how fantastical life was for humans. How exciting it was.
How desirable it was.
However, your answer only caused him to tilt his head.
“Trivial? Oh, good one, my dear! I find that hard to believe!—How could life for humans be trivial?”
“I promise, I’m not lying. Life for humans is quite short. It’s nothing too grand.”
You notice Caine sink down, causing you to frown.
“I suppose that sounds quite disappointing to learn, huh?”
Caine remained silent for a moment as he looked down at his lap.
“Then why do you wish to go back to it so badly?”
You’re taken aback at his response—particularly at how right he was…in theory.
Why did everyone in the circus wish to go back if life was so trivial? Wouldn’t the ability to become immortal be appealing to all humans?
But that wasn’t what all life was about, you thought.
Despite being insignificant, people still lived as if it wasn’t. While some strived for abnormality, others were content with routine. While some had a large list of personal goals to fulfill, others wanted to remain stagnant. Life for humans was trivial—but it was also messy, dull, tough, fascinating…unpredictable.
Life wasn’t meant to last forever.
“You’re right.”
Caine quickly looked at you, surprised.
“It should seem desirable to want to live forever. You get to do everything you’ve ever wanted without worrying about the possibility of death.”
Caine adjusted his posture, leaning in with an inquisitive expression.
“However, without a designated stop, life would just keep going and going—time would only start to blend together. We wouldn’t be able to enjoy the importance of living once. Life would just become…monotonous. And constant monotony is quite undesirable.”
You sit back up as you attempted to explain the concept of life—a concept even you had trouble understanding. Caine watched you in wonder.
“Life isn’t only about needing to experience every little thing. Sometimes, triviality is not always a terrible thing. It allows you to do things with meaning.”
You sighed, your rant coming to an end.
“So, yes—life was trivial. But that’s what made it life.”
You looked back at Caine, who seemed to be looking at you with a contemplative expression. The two of you sit in silence, the occasional sounds of the pixelated crickets filling the air.
After a moment, he floated back up into the air, his eccentric nature coming to light once again.
“What a meaningful answer, my dear anthropoid! I’ll be sure to keep that all in mind!”
He raised his fingers to snap.
“I’ll see you bright-eyed and bushy tailed in the morning—Have a great rest!”
Despite his disappearance, you continued to stare as if he was still floating in front of you. You huffed, realizing that the whole conversation was most likely useless.
Once you got up from the grassy hill, you stretch and head back upstairs to your room inside of the tent.
When you opened your door, you were met with a peculiar surprise. Rested in the middle of your bed was a brass pocket watch—something that was most definitely not there before. As you picked it up, you ran your finger over the back of it, noticing multiple grooves—engravings.
Turning it around, you read the small message:
“Triviality is Important.”
You stared down at the pocket watch, feeling warm tears welling up, not necessarily knowing why it made you so emotional. As bizarre as it was, this lightened your mood quite significantly, lucidity slowly inching its way back to your mind.
From his globe, Caine watched you smile.
Feeling satisfied, he carefully placed it back on a shelf, feeling inspired for a future adventure.