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Sodapop had always been an outgoing guy. The most charming curtis brother, joyful and light.
But Sodapop kept a secret.
Soda's current living situation wasn't the greatest. Yes, he had shelter, food, water, power, clothes on his back, and a place to rest. But they were struggling.Darry, his older brother, and pony boy, his younger brother. Darry worked long hours roofing just go get the bills paid and feed his younger brothers. Not to mention he also helped the whole gang.Darry was hard on him and pony, though not so much him. Soda always considered himself the failure of the Curtis family. He was doing good in highschool until he dropped out. Now he works at The DX. Fixing cars and ending up oil stained. But this is also how he met his best friend Steve Randle.
His younger brother, Ponyboy, Was the now the pride of the Curtis family. He had a good education, made everyone a little more happy, and he had a chance to get a scholarship due to his athletics in track. Most greasers didn't have the smarts to go this far, eventually dropping you out just never attending school in the first place. Soda loved his brother yes, but sometimes he couldn't help but feel like Pony took his spot. At least he could always talk about it to Steve. The two had more tension that usual friends had. He remember the first night he kissed Steve. It wasn't a hungry make out of someone only wanting him out of pure lust. It felt warm and fuzzy, true love wrapping around him like a blanket that only Steve could provide.
Soda became overly dependent on Steve after that but he kept it on a low. Anytime he thought Steve was mad at him he would try to make it up in very low-key ways. But sometimes when that didn't seem to work? He always had a back up. Everytime that shakiness came, the urge to cry, the urge to just have everything gone, flooded in. He would sit on the bathroom floor, switchblade out. His shirt rolled up just to be below his collar bones. And he would slit at his ribs. Blood slowly dripping out as soda felt dizzy. That shakiness and anxiety slowly leaking out of him. Sometimes if he was feeling extra heavy he would take out the mint can he hid stolen benzos in. Swallow them and feel numb until the next day.
This day during his shift at the DX he got told by Steve that darry wanted to talk to him on the phone. He lifted the phone to his ear and spoke, "Darry? What is it? Something happen with Ponyboy?" He said, worry coating his tone like honey on a pastry. "You need to come home, Now." Darry said, sounding stern, but also... Worried? Which was very rare to hear from darry so audible. Than Darry hung up, Soda was confused, he didn't know what Darry would need to talk to Him about. As he opened the door he saw Darry sitting on their father's old recliner, staring at him. "Sit.' Darry said sternly. Waiting until Soda was settled. "You have anything you want to tell me? Anything at all?" He asked, leaning forward. Arms resting on his knees, hands clasped.
"No..?" Soda mumbled. Darry let out a sigh, before reaching in-between the cushion and arm rest of the recliner. Pulling out Sodas mint can. Soda's whole world paused.
"Pony found these taped under your side of the desk. I thought nothing of it." Darry opening the tin, "pills, which you, aren't prescribed any." He stared at Soda. "Darry I-" Soda started before he started crying. Darry standing up and pulling His younger brother into his lap. "Shh, shh.. it's okay Baby. I ain't mad.. I just wanna know why you have these." "I-i can't anymore darry I can't!" Sodapop sobbed, "I feel like I'm losing my grip on myself. I'm just a failure for this family, for you, for Pony, for the gang!" Soda continued. "No. No you ain't Sody. You ain't a failure to no one. You are one of the most caring people In Tulsa. Hell, you are the most caring person in Tulsa. You got a big heart and you are so, so very loving. Loved." Darry whispered, soft and warm voice calming soda, making him nuzzle into his older brothers shoulder.
After soda had quieted into sniffles, Darry brought him up to his room and laid him on the bed. Laying on the other side before cuddling him. Pulling him close to his chest and singing an old lullaby their mother sang for them.
"My bonnie lies over the ocean
Oh bring back my bonnie to me.
Bring back, oh bring back
Bring back my bonnie to me.
Last night as I lay on my pillow.
I dreamt that my bonnie was there.
Bring back, oh bring back
Bring back my bonnie to me.
Oh blow the winds over the ocean,
And bring back my bonnie to me.."