Chapter Text
Green doesn’t mind working on the till.
They take on all the jobs that they can get for two reasons. One, to spice up their resume for future employers; what wasn’t there to like about an all rounder? And the other, to make money.
That was probably obvious. That was the reason that a lot of people had jobs. But this wasn’t money that was going into bills, or nice trips– this was money that was going into paying for their captain training.
If you thought that securing an unpaid internship on the Skeld was expensive, this was a whole layer above that. There was no way that people around them would be able to cover for them the same way that they did the first time, and at some point they didn’t expect them to. They were all in the same position that Green was in, just making it work without copious amounts of riches. They wanted to do their part wherever they can, which involved working as many hours as they could.
Which led them to the till. Their father had left the farm that morning on business, and left Green in charge of managing the shop alongside their mother. The latter had been circling around the store to collect any responsibilities– cleaning, restocking, even talking to the rate customer that came in in the mornings. Their acceptance to do the jobs that their mother wasn’t doing had come without them even having to ask.
It’s not a particularly interesting job, typically requiring staring at an empty till during the periods of time where there are no customers. But the excitement that they will at least be getting a little closer to being able to afford their training made it all the more worth it in the end. They were able to greet and talk to customers with the same enthusiasm as ever, though they definitely couldn’t shake the thought that this was the part of the job that was probably the least emotionally present. Unlike spending time with all the worms while they tended to their little habitat or delivered them off their food.
Though, to their surprise, today had been a day where there was more action than most. Not necessarily by customers, but by prevalence.
The bell that they placed above their door rang when the door was pushed open. Green raised their head and flashed the friendliest smile that they could muster, all before taking a look at the person entering the premises.
Their appearance wasn’t something that they had expected. It was too rich. Was rich the right describing word? Green just meant that the clothes that they wore exuded a rich status without them even having to annunciate their net worth. Well, they weren’t really judging it, or anything. Everyone was welcome in their shop. Though a person like this definitely seemed like they would have someone else going out and buying stuff for them. Especially when it was gardening supplies.
But maybe White has just warped their perception of wealth a little too much. You can’t tell anything based on that alone.
Anyway, this individual was wearing a suit, with a wristwatch on their wrist as they wrung their hands out. Their hair was slicked back and meticulously combed, giving them the impression of someone who cared quite vastly for their appearance.
When their eyes landed on Green standing behind the counter, framed by the assortment of items that they sold just before the counter, the recognition in their eyes was subtly noticeable. But nothing else. Were they happy to see them? Sad? Angry? Green really wasn’t able to tell.
“Hi!” Green chirped, pushing that thought aside for now, “How can I help you today?”
“You’re here,” They spoke, with an equally blank tone of voice. They could surmise that was a good thing, but that was probably also something that people said when they were about to pick a fight with someone in a store car park, “I was looking for you.”
“You were?” Green blinked. They were starting to wonder if there was something that they were forgetting. Maybe their dad had a client that they forgot to inquire about? “Uh… ehh… I… why’s that?”
“I wanted to talk to you about my child.” They stepped ahead, closer to the till, “I thought this would be the most reliable place to find you.”
Their… child?
Green stared a little harder. Before it suddenly clicked.
Whoever this person was, they had remarkably similar facial structure to White, if not a little more scrunched up with the stress of life. A life that, by nature of their wealthy parents, White never had to experience.
“Oh– Oh!” Green perked up, “Are you White’s dad?”
“So you know what this is about, do you?” They asked. When Green’s mother looked over, they looked away, grabbing a random item from off the display and placing it on the till to look like a typical service interaction, “I don’t know if I should be surprised or not.”
“Surprised?” Green echoed, looking the part, “About what?”
“You don’t have to act a fool around me,” They stated, continuing to glance at the shelves as Green rang up their ‘order’, “A home business… ran by your father. But you don’t make a particularly high income here, do you?”
“I don’t…” Green slid the item over the counter in exchange for a small amount of money, “I don’t think I’m meant to give out that kinda information to people unless they’re a tax collector. …you’re not a tax collector, are you?”
“I heard you have a dream to become a ship captain.” That did not answer their question, “It’s complicated to get an education in this day and age.”
“Yeah… it’s super pricey.” Green mumbled begrudgingly, then tried to laugh, “I guess you’re probably glad you don’t have that problem now, huh?”
“It wouldn’t be that difficult to get money through… alternative means.”
…
Green’s expression fell.
They didn’t understand what that was trying to imply. Did White’s dad think that there was a secret gambling ring going on under the shop, and was trying to get entry? Unfortunately, they’re 90% sure that there is nothing back there, though they will probably check later now that they think about it.
“You can admit it to me.” They continued, “I’m not going to tell anyone what I’ve heard.”
“What?” Green asked, a little helpless.
“Is this the act that you use, too? Or do you not understand what I mean?” Their head tilted up, exasperated, looking as though they were tipping their nose up and looking down on Green, “You’ve been affectionate towards my child so that you can claim some of their money as your own, haven’t you?”
“What?”
Where did that come from all of a sudden?? Was that seriously what people thought about their relationship??
Fine. They had a wage gap. It was kind of hard not to notice it when people pointed it out almost every time that Green introduced them as their partner to people. And if they didn’t explicitly point it out, then they could tell that they were at least thinking it, but were just trying to be nice for the sake of keeping their friend happy.
But Green didn’t care about that. They didn’t care about the money, or the lavish gifts, or the large bed they got to steal half of. They cared about White.
They cared about their work ethic, their attention to detail, and the tenderness of their hold whenever they cuddled together. If White had no money, Green would still want to be with them.
That didn’t seem to be well received by the people around them, however.
“White is… naive.” White’s father spoke, sounding me contemplative, “They may have their own money, but they are irresponsible with managing it. And they don’t understand that not everyone in the world doesn't operate in the way that they want it to. They don’t understand that some people may take advantage of what they have.”
Clearly, that was meant to mean them. They were trying to snag at them without naming names, even though they were making direct eye contact and not even concealing it.
Green looked confused. Was that something you were meant to say about your child? They thought parents were meant to dote on their kids, not criticise them.
“With that in mind, I have to look out for them as much as I can.” They pulled out a small book from their pocket. A black leather case with paper stacked lengthways.
“Is that a cheque book?” Green inquired, eyeing it somewhat nervously.
“I’ll give you a donation to your cause. That’ll do.” The father spoke, mostly to themselves, “I suppose I’ll round that up. For… emotional investment.”
They scratched some numbers down onto the first page of their cheque book. Then they tore it out carefully, extending the paper out to Green without so much as a twitch in their expression.
“You can have it upfront.” They stated, expecting Green to take it without issue or complaint, “But I ask of you that you please put a stop to whatever game that you are attempting to play with my child. Before this ends up more problematic than it needs to be.”
They stood there in silence, holding the paper until Green collected it.
One look. Oh my—
Complete horror washed over their face as the other remained unaffected.
Green held the sheet of paper in their hand as the individual left the shop, suddenly feeling like it was far more heavy than it was.
Green’s mother came over from where they were sweeping, glancing at the paper.
“What’s that?” They asked, curious but idle. Unknowing.
“...nothing.” Green murmured, not at all sounding like themselves. Their expression was blank and their face was a little pale, staring at the sheet of paper as if it had personally wronged them, “I…think I need to go take a break for a bit. Maybe go on a walk.”
“Sweetie?” Their mother called, their voice notably softer, as they held a hand out to stop their child. Green gave a smile again, but it was considerably more forced in appearance. Then they turned their back, almost stumbling their way out the shop and down the path.
That was… a lot of money.
Like. A lot a lot of money.
To White’s father, that was probably a little “go get something special… as long as it isn’t my child”. But to Green, this amount of money could be revolutionary in achieving their goals.
They were starting to feel sick. They always felt sick whenever they got stressed, gagging even if there wasn’t anything to throw up. They sat down on the bench nearby, trying to steel through the spell as knots tied and twisted in their stomach.
This was… horrible. It was all they ever wanted, and it was horrible. Because they were being forced to choose between two of the most important things to them– their career, and White. They were being told that if they wanted to have the thing that they wanted, they had to sacrifice something else they wanted just as much.
Love over passion. The self over other people.
Saliva began to pool in their throat. They choked on nothing, their hand coming up to cover their mouth as they wretched. The force that they gripped their face with attempted to stifle the violent shaking of their hand. Their breathing began to pick up, their heart thumping so hard in their chest it felt like it was going to fall out.
What kind of person did something like that to someone?
What kind of person was this– this–
—what, cruel? They couldn’t think of anything else. Hundreds of trans of thoughts were entering and leaving their mind at once, leading them each down different pathways depending on what they did and when they did it. All the same, the sides of their vision began blurring slightly, forcing them down one path.
Nothing goes well. No matter what they do.
“No… no! Focus!” They gripped onto themselves tightly, in an attempt to ground themselves.
Someone seeing them like this would only make matters worse. Not only because they were now wondering if the people around them truly, legitimately thought that they were using White for money, and because tons of different perspectives would only further serve to split their mind.
They can’t do it. They can’t handle it.
They wrenched their breathing back under control, even though their breaths came out rough, until the blackness in their eyes began to retreat. The shakiness in their hands reducing to a light, numb tremor and the nauseous feeling dissipating.
They didn’t feel any better, once they weren’t initially freaked anymore. It was probably because of the circumstance– Green never allowed themselves to be emotional about anything, just snapped themselves out of it before it got ‘too bad’. But there wasn’t a resolve there that made them feel any sort of relief– like they had gotten invested into a story and the story suddenly ended just at the climax. Something about cliffhangers, but that wasn’t related.
They didn’t allow other people to help them, or even really attempt to help themselves. They just let it continue to fester inside of them while forbidding it from appearing on the surface.
The person that ended up going back to work was a hollow version
Unfortunately for them, it’s very obvious to other people that there was a switch up.
Green was enthused about essentially everything, so having them seeming so disinterested was noticeable by practically everyone that knew just about anything about them.
Their mother didn’t leave the idea alone. Of course, they’re really lovely individual, but the way that they touched and rubbed along their shoulder made Green realise just how broken they felt in this entire situation, and made it even harder to keep themselves together.
“I heard you talking with that customer… did they say something wrong?” They asked, trotting behind their child as they rounded the counter to take their abandoned place once more, “You know you can tell me. I won’t tell your father if you don’t want it to be a big thing, but I don’t want you to have to keep things to yourself.”
Green swallowed down a sick feeling in the back of their throat.
“No, no… they were just asking me about the fertilisers. Nothing bad.” They insisted, though they were starting to feel even worse for lying. They think that this is one of the few circumstances where they have actively lied to their parents, “I’m just a bit upset because… I ended up not getting a sale?”
The cheque was still sitting in their pocket. The transaction hadn’t ended just yet.
“Oh, sweetie, it’s okay.” Their mother crooned lovingly, “That’s not your fault. I’m sure you’ll be able to get the next one.”
“Yeah… maybe.” Green smiled weakly. The corners of their lips hurt from the dull ache that their body was experiencing. Maybe having a bath after work would help?
Green did end up making another sale, not too long after, but of course it didn’t do anything to settle the whirlwind of emotions that they were experiencing. They did their best to act like it had, that it was all sunny skies with maybe a little bit of remaining clouds from then on, favouring talking about that than their ‘failed interaction’. The day had gone pretty smoothly subsequently and yet Green was still thinking that everything was hectic, even if they stared out at one of the aisles and saw only a little old bean pushing a cart with a bag of soil in.
They reported back to their father that everything was great when they returned. They came back with an exhausted expression on their face and an even worse off voice, reciting to their spouse all the commotion that trying to promote business offers caused as the latter caressed their face and murmured lovingly to them. They thought that even if they did mention it (since, their father might be the best person to mention it to), that this definitely wasn’t the time, and that they could go without being selfish for maybe a couple of minutes.
After all, that was what White’s dad seemed to think that they were doing, being selfish.
Were they really… that selfish? Just because they hadn’t meant to be, did that mean that they really weren’t? All these people being so patient and giving them chances, were they working hard enough? Doing as much as they could, to the best that they could? Or were they just taking and not giving anything back?
They spent a lot of their evening thinking about all the bad things that they could remember doing. The bath that they did eventually end up taking was not particularly relaxing on that front, considering there were essentially as many bubbles as there were memories that they could recall, and what was meant to ease their muscles ended up tightening them with guilt, frustration and a bit of inexplicable sadness.
They’d been trying. They’d been trying so hard to make things right. Everything they did, they did with as much energy and passion as they were able to give. And yet somehow, nothing ended up working in their favour. They always ended up messing things up– getting too ahead of themselves and messing up the opportunity that they had been so gracefully given.
Were they really acting like that around White? Maybe they weren’t demanding money, but were they still making White feel like they had to give it to them? Because, what else were they able to do on their own?
They got up once all the bubbles had dissipated and they were essentially not able to think of anything else, exhausted of all other ideas, slinking into their bedroom and curling up in the corner of their bed.
They weren’t sure how much time had passed, but eventually they were hearing a knock on their door. They raised their head and watched as their father poked their large frame through the door, holding a plate and a mug.
“Heya, kiddo.” They spoke, approaching their bed side table. They moved the clock a little closer towards the back so they could place down the items– a plate with two cookies and a hot chocolate. Green sat up a little more, “I heard you weren’t feeling too good.”
“I’m okay.” They answered, tucking their knees up to their chest, “Shouldn’t you be resting? You were out all day.”
“That doesn’t mean I’m the only person in the household that needs to be taken care of. Besides, your mother baked, and I am not napping through that.” They laughed, nudging the plate a little closer to Green, “I thought you’d want to have some.”
“Oh, it’s okay.” They insisted, but inevitably took one after enough of their fathers pleading eyes. They didn’t have chocolate chips in them or anything, they were just plain, but they were still perfectly chewy. They nudged the plate back towards their dad as if expecting them to take the other cookie, which they inevitably settled for, “I’m fine, really.”
“You don’t have to be so hard on yourself, ahh.” Their father commented between a mouthful, “Sometimes things don’t go the way you want them to. Even if you think you’re doing everything right, one little thing can blunder the rest of it. But you don’t have to feel bad about it. Making the occasional mistake helps to learn and grow, and if you pay attention to it, you’ll do a lot better.”
Green watched them quietly. They didn’t have the heart to tell them at this point that it wasn’t about a sale at all, but something about that still ended up resonating within them in a weird way. Squeezed their chest unfamiliarly.
“Besides, you’re not always on the till, are you? Mistakes happen. No one’s upset with you.” They placed their hand on top of their child’s head, giving it a ruffle for good measure, “So you don’t need to be upset with yourself.”
“Okay…” Green murmured, “Thanks, dad.”
“Anytime, kiddo.” They grinned dotingly, “Come down to eat soon, your mother was worrying about you.”
“Has dinner time passed already?” Green glanced over at their clock. Yes. It has.
They trudged down to the kitchen shortly after, where they found a plate of food wrapped up on the kitchen counter with their name written on a sticky note tapped to it. When they peeled back the foil to get a better look they noticed that it had been one of their favourite meals, which was admittedly a little disappointing when they realised they’d have to eat it reheated compared to freshly out of the oven.
Their parents were so sweet to them.
…and this was another thing that they had messed up on. They had to reflect upon that as they ate reheated dinner alone at the dining table, staring at the empty seats that are typically occupied by their family members. They could hear their siblings in the bathroom brushing their teeth, babbling their words as frothy paste was filled in their mouths. They considered going to check up on them and the other family members that they found meandering around the house, but inevitably remained glued to their seat until their plate was empty.
Still, they felt empty. They knew they should be full, but they still felt empty in their stomach.
What were they supposed to do? Were they supposed to take the money and avoid White like the plague (even though they were certain that should be the other way around, dirt-on-the-knees farmer that they are), or should they give up their own chance of getting to become a captain in the foreseeable future for the sake of their relationship?
Would any of those options be any less selfish? Either ‘I care more about my career’, or ‘I’m ignoring what you said because I want to have whatever I want’?
Maybe they’d been right.
(White got a buzz on their gate.
They got those sometimes– usually it was deliveries, but many times people were trying to get entry into their home in an attempt to tour it. Like the concept of someone having a big home was something that was unable to be fathomed.
Although, they were on TV. People who knew them from their TV presence were trying to see how close they could get to White before White said anything about it. They had thought, at first, that this was going to be another one of those times, considering the person who was standing at their door.
Green’s mother.
They had a nervous look on their face, which almost looked like they had been caught when White peeked at the footage from their camera. But there was something a lot more pure about it that made them wonder if it was something different. Something much more for White than for themselves.
“Hello?” They picked up the phone on the wall, transmitting to the speaker above their gate buzzer, “Can I help you with something?”
“I wanted to talk to you… about Green.” They started, “I’m sorry for coming here unexpectedly, but I don’t have any other way to contact you.”
About Green?
They tried to rack their mind for something that could have gone on recently in Green’s life that would have affected them in some way or another, but to no avail. They press the button that allows the small opening of their gate, so that Green’s mother was able to slip inside and come up to the front door, where White was already waiting to meet them.
“What’s wrong with Green?” They asked, not even bothering to greet the parent.
“I’m not sure… they’ve not been acting like themselves.” Green’s mother had stated, meeting White’s eyes with wide ones of their own, “They said it had something to do with a sale yesterday, but I don’t think it’s like them to get so worked up about something like that.”
“And… Why are you telling me?” White asked, with a tint of confusion. Not because they didn’t care. Never because they didn’t care. But because they still weren’t really good at being sympathetic, and comforting people was especially difficult for them. What do you mean buying a yacht won’t make the pain go away?
Either way, this person, of all people, would probably be a lot better at comforting than they would, which made the entire thing confusing.
“Because we haven’t been able to get through to them. But I think you might be able to.” White stared at them for a long time, their surprise not even concealed, “You make them a lot happier than I think I’ve ever seen them. I think they’d feel the most comfortable talking to you.”
“...huh.” White breathed, “I’ll– see what I can do. Thanks for telling me.”
“Thank you for listening.” The parent spoke back, their voice a little warmer now. They really cared for their child, didn’t they?
And they were doing what was in their child’s best interest.)
White came to Green’s home the next day. They didn’t know why.
They should have known why, is the thing. Ever since they finally admitted to themselves they had the memory of an elderly person, they started setting things in their calendar. Them and White had even spent a time going through any major events that would require being noted down– though White also considered dates to be ‘major’. If White was coming over, then they would have seen it and known they were coming over.
They went to answer the door, and noticed distantly that the other members of their family hadn’t moved to get it, even though they had been a lot closer than Green was. They revealed White to be standing on the other side, eying their nails before glancing up and letting their hand drop.
And Green’s heart dropped.
“I was thinking we could go for a walk somewhere.” White stated casually, placing their hands into their pockets, “It’s a nice day outside. You’re not busy, are you?”
Green didn’t know what to say. They didn’t know whether they should even be around White right now.
White was at the centre of the issue that their life was currently revolving around. If they got too close, then things might get worse. If their parents knew that White had come here, they might not take well to it. To them.
Green didn’t want White to be caught up in any of this, either. There was quiet in the eye of the hurricane, but Green had no clue what else might have been brewing up for them. But even still… White was their safe zone.
Someone they could rely on, even when things were bad. Someone who would take care of them even if it caused them some discomfort. Someone who Green did not want to lose in one way or the other. Maybe if they knew, they’d be mad at Green for even considering it. Or maybe, if they found out they hid something like that, they would be mad that they were trying to shelter them despite all their growth.
Whatever happened would certainly stunt their relationship. They thought that the best option would just be to shut the door in their face, but that stupid–
–selfish–
–part of them still wanted to at least maybe feel better.
“Um… I’m not sure.” Green trailed off, finding that their mouth and their mind were not on the same page, “I’ve got a lot of work I need to do. Like— collecting some food scraps for the compost-”
“--Oh, I can do that.” Their father chimed from the living room, deciding that now was the perfect time to be helpful, “Don’t worry about that. A walk sounds fun.”
“....mmm..” Green whined, quickly having to readjust. They smiled awkwardly as they aimlessly spluttered a couple of times, “Oh– but I also– have to clean the silo.”
“That doesn’t sound that difficult. I could do that.” Their mother spoke, glancing towards their father, “I can borrow your supplies, right?”
“Of course you can! I wouldn’t want your house supplies getting so dirty!” Their father declared. Their mother giggled and nuzzled their spouse’s face.
“Uh huh…” Green grimaced. They were beginning to run out of convincing things to say as excuses.
They really could have just said no, I don’t want to go out or maybe some other time, but the execution of that felt overwhelmingly difficult. White had already come all the way here, and was looking forward to seeing them… they felt so bad turning them down after all the effort they put in for them.
“So, you’re not busy. Great.” White said, glancing at the pair of them, before they took a step back, “Come along, then.”
“Ah– wh– okay.” Green deflated.
Green trailed behind White, looking a little bit like a lost puppy. They led them a little way away from their farm house where there was a small path leading through into an area of forest.
White held onto Green’s hand, which they held back after a couple of moments of pause.
Should they really be doing this? Should they have let this happen? They weren’t sure at all.
Their expression began to twitch, and White was looking at them.
“What’s wrong?” They asked. They were a lot more to the point about it than their parents were, asking them why they were sad as opposed to if they were sad. Even so, it had the same answer.
“Nothing’s wrong, honest.” Green spoke, glancing at their feet, “Why would anything be wrong?”
“Your parents called me over here.” White stated.
Before they were able to explain themselves, Green exclaimed, “What??”
“Apparently you’re not acting like yourself. And I can see what they mean.” White stopped walking, pulling Green to a stop too. They reached over and cupped one of Green’s cheeks with their spare hand, “What’s gotten into you?”
They can’t. They can’t tell them. Not when it would hurt them.
(Did that mean that it was okay to hurt themselves for the sake of other people?)
“I’m telling you, it’s nothing.” Green tried, but their defence didn’t really seem to do anything. Their voice cracked, “I can’t.”
“Can’t… what?” White echoed.
“I can’t tell you. Cause I don’t know what will happen.” They murmured, their hand moving in closer to White’s hand.
“Why would something happen?” They furrow their eyebrows in a way that seems like it’s intentionally trying to be expressive. They’re more expressive than they realise, unlike their parents. But they’re trying to make sure that Green was aware of that.
The fact that they cared so much to even put that effort in at all made them a little emotional. They can’t meet White’s eyes anymore out of fear of what they would see in them and how it would make them feel. Knowing that a living, breathing individual was being compared to something that they didn’t even know would matter in the grand scheme of things.
What if they failed? What if they ended up choosing a new career because they didn’t like it? And what if they and White had something substantial and long term, and they staked it all for nothing. Why would they even consider gambling something like that?
“Well… because… if I told you, then I’d basically be giving you an answer that you might not want to hear, and I don’t even know if I want to say.” They murmured. They were aware that they were starting to speak a little faster, and losing sight of the general meaning of their words, but they couldn’t help it when there was so much to preface. So much to explain, as though they were aware that they had done something wrong, “I don’t even know what I want. But I know I don’t want you thinking I do know and that I think you’re–”
“--Breathe, Green.” White hadn’t used a tone like that on them before. It was a lot more stern and serious.
Were they not breathing? Were they supposed to be breathing? How do you breathe, again?
“Yeah– yeah.” Green complied, taking a large breath in before expelling it loudly into the air, “Sorry.”
“Tell me.” White instructed.
“Okay.” Green murmured, “I had a run in with someone at my dad’s shop.”
“Really?” They didn’t directly say it, but the tone in White’s voice made it obvious that they’re hoping for a little more than that. Something more specific. Maybe a name, if they could snag one.
“Your dad.” Green mentioned.
As soon as it came out, White pulled away from them. Oh God. Oh no.
“White– wait–” They squeaked.
Did they already know? Were they just not saying anything because they didn’t want to wield their annoyances this early on? Was this where everything turned? Was this–
They were feeling sick again. It rushed them all at once.
Green attempted to reach out, but White just eluded them.
“What did they say to you?” White almost demanded, their posture far more tense than it was before.
“I– hang on– I– I didn’t mean it like that–” Green pleaded, holding onto White’s elbows. They’re trying not to keep them there as much as they can.
“What was it?” White asked again, coming off as the kind of impatient that stemmed from large-scaled emotions.
“They gave me this… cheque and told me I could have it if I stopped spending time with you.” They still had the thing in their pocket. They had been staring at it a lot throughout the evening, trying to process that amount of money freely in their possession, with no strings attached. Literally.
This answer seemed to make White more uncomfortable, their hands holding their arms. Their fingers brushed against Green’s, but the touch was hardly anything intimate. They really really hoped that wasn’t bad. That White hadn’t given up on them now.
“Well? Did you take it?” White asked.
“I– I don’t know. It was a lot of money.” Green fidgeted, “Like, a lot a lot. A whole lot.”
“How much?” Green fumbled at the question, slowly taking the cheque from their pocket and sliding it over to White. Their expression went from shock to horror in quick succession, but then dropped off their face when they tried to act normal, “Green, this kind of money would be great for you.”
“I know! That’s what makes it so hard!” Green whinged, “I wouldn’t have to work so much, but also–”
“--you should have taken it.”
…
Green isn’t entirely sure if they heard that right. If they meant what they thought they meant with that.
Of course, White cared about money. Other people, especially their partner, gaining money would probably be something they would take well to. But didn’t they understand that they were the one at stake here?
“What? But that would mean having to stay away from you…” Green muttered, as if White needed any sort of clarification. That can’t– possibly be it, right?
“It’s a dog eat dog world out there. Way more competitive than you’d even realise.” White turned away, their back now facing Green, “You need as best of a chance you can get, and other people can just… get in the way of that.”
“That's what I'm doing with you.” They murmured.
“What are you talking about?” Green pleaded, “White?”
“I let you get involved in my problems. You were supposed to be kept out of all of that, but somehow you were still a part of them.” White grit their teeth, “That’s not meant to happen. Taking the money would be your better option.”
“But what does that mean about you, huh?” Green exclaimed, “That you have some sort of price? That throwing enough money at me will magically stop me from caring about you? No!”
They shook their head violently, then had to paw some hair strands from sticking to their face, “You always tell me I’m worth more than money, but when it comes to you, that doesn’t matter anymore? You mean way more to me than any of that! No matter how much it is!”
“But how does that make you happy?” White challenged, “How are you happy knowing that there’s something you can achieve, and you just don’t?”
“Welcome to my life!” Green cried, “It’s all just a big goose chase for dreams I’ll probably never achieve, but I don’t care! Because the idea of it makes me happy. The idea that one day I’ll be able to do something big gets me through my days every day. I want it– sure, more than anything– but I’m happy with the life I have now! I can’t just throw it away like that!”
“Taking something like that… it’s not right. And letting people treat you like that isn’t right either.” White glanced over, and Green fixed them with a determined look, “Like you’re… dispensable. Not able to make decisions for yourself. Doing things without even telling you and being kind of rude to you in the process! I mean— who insults their child while trying to protect them?”
“They what?” White stopped them.
“Oh my god.” Green backpedalled immediately, coming down from their height to realise what they had said, “I just um– oh, I—...”
The look on White’s face is irresistible. They look oddly lost, “I was worried about you, the more I thought about it… Your parents– I know they have their money, but do they really think they can just run your life because of that? That it doesn’t matter what they say or do because money apparently fixes everything?”
Green sighed, “I can’t take money if it means that I’m supporting something like that. I love you, more than anything… I don’t want to do anything that would hurt you. And if that makes me selfish? Fine. But I’m not letting you act like you’re suddenly worthless because of– of— god that’s a lot of money!”
Seconds passed. A nervous atmosphere settled into the air.
“Do you think that if I was in your position, I would have done the same thing?” White asked. But they’re facing Green again now, which seemed to be a positive.
“I don’t care what you would have done, because that’s what I’m doing,” Green stepped closer, with small steps like they were approaching an easily skittish animal. When White didn’t move away, they wrapped their arms around them, pressing tightly against them, “You’re always telling me I need to accept your affection more… so I want you to accept mine. I want you to– to understand that I want you the most.”
“And… and I don’t want you to think you should leave me for this.” They murmured at the end, desperate.
“I can’t keep doing this–” White said.
“--you can!”
“No, the other thing.” White answered, “I didn’t realise they were acting like that around other people. I thought that was just– the way people acted with their heirs."
“Are they… normally like that with you?” Green asked. They were met with silence, “Oh… oh, I’m sorry for asking.”
“It’s okay.” But the way that they rubbed their face along Green’s shoulder made them think that it really wasn’t okay, “That probably should have been the first clue.”
Green rubbed up and down White’s pack, burrowing against them. They stayed like that, in the middle of the path, for quite some time, before White parted from them.
“It’s probably just best to get out of here.” They mentioned, “We should go back. I want you to come with me to my house.”
That time around, Green didn’t have to think about leaving with White.
“We’re still good, right?” Green had been sure to nervously ask before stepping towards the limousine.
“We are.” White answered. Green felt like a load was being lifted off their shoulders.
Maybe metaphorical in multiple ways. With this decision, that large sum of money was most likely no longer there for the taking. But they could always work a little harder for that money… they could never replace White.
Though there was still a little bit of unresolved tension as they travelled to and got settled into White’s home. White was completely restless, refusing to sit down themselves even as they guided Green to sit down on the long sofa in their living room. Green didn’t say anything about it, but they still saw the way that their body was pulled taut, like a marionette being strung up.
Of course, White had their own ties.
“Stay there. I need to do something.” White instructed. Green nodded quietly, shifting in place as they attempted to get comfortable. They wanted to follow, wanted to help, but they knew what they were going to do. And they knew that was something that they should not interfere with, regardless of how much they wanted to help. They can only offer assistance before and after.
They listened to the muffled sound of a one-sided conversation through the hallway. A phone call, taken a far enough distance away that whatever was said wouldn’t be thoroughly transcribed to their partner. But the occasional overhearing of their name, or at least what sounded like their name, made it pretty obvious what was going on.
This conversation lasted for a long time. Throughout this time, Green heard White’s voice take on several tones.
“Was that true?” Accusatory.
“That’s what I heard.” Defensive, “Why would they be lying?”
“I know,” Exasperated, “Most of it, yes. But that doesn’t give you the right to control my life.”
Little drabs when they sounded particularly pointed about it.
“If you want to talk to my partner, you tell me first. I won’t let you make decisions for me anymore- I’m the one who knows what’s best for me.”
Green had curled up in a burrow of throw cushions by the time that White had returned to the living room. Green was facing away from the direction that White had come in from, but they were able to hear them breathing out shakily.
Their footsteps stopped a little before the sofa, the breathing still betraying their presence. There was only so long that they were able to hold their poise– that perfect child appearance, even if their facade was breaking like the destroyed images on the wall. It felt much stranger, like that- when the pictures were actually ruining themselves, as opposed to just some insecure perception.
“Green?” They called, voice quiet like they were testing their surroundings.
Green rolled over, lolling their head to the side. They see White, and the ruined look of their appearance, “Mhm?”
“Oh. Hi.” White blinked. They sat themselves down on the end of the sofa, as Green lifted their feet up to make some room, “You’re still awake.”
“I don’t think I’d be able to sleep at a time like this.” They sat up, slowly shuffling over to White, “You okay? You need anything?”
“...”
Green never felt good when White was quiet. At least when they were loudly crying for attention, they were still there with them.
Where were they right now?
Green nuzzled White’s face. “You’re allowed to be upset… if you want to.”
And by that they meant, you don’t have to play things up if you don’t feel like it.
Just please say something to me.
“I think I’ve fallen out of favour.” They stated, “...I don’t know what that’s gonna do for me.”
“It’s okay,” Green crooned, “We’ll figure it out.”
White clung onto them in their characteristic way, like a koala with considerably less fluff.
They were with them. That was where.
And they weren’t particularly sure where things would go. What the future would look like, as two people who both missed out on something major.
But they did have a safety net– with each other. That was enough for the moment.