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Amongst all the different people on campus, Suehiro Tecchou was generally known for two things: firstly, his… unique food combinations, and secondly, his reputation for being a helpful, kind and genuinely honest person. Partially, it stemmed from the fact that he was… well, an awful liar, to say the least. Anyone could see right through him, which is why Tecchou never even bothered with lying in the first place. Not like he ever saw the point in it anyway. Lying saddened and upset people, even someone as socially clueless as him knew that, so he never felt drawn to it.
Until now.
"Absolutely no pets, Tecchou. They smell and they're noisy."
Was what Jouno, his roommate, said to him a while back, after Tecchou saw a post on Facebook where a local shelter was desperately trying to find new homes for a couple of dogs.
"But please, Jouno, they look so sad–"
"You can always volunteer to walk them, or something, I'm sure it'll cheer them up."
"But–"
"No buts! This is my house too, and I don't want to have any pets around! End of story!"
Tecchou hung his head low. Of course, there was no arguing with Jouno. After that exchange, Tecchou indeed went out of his way to buy treats and walk the shelter dogs, just like he was told to do. But while it was nice, it still didn't soothe his pet-itch.
Initially he didn't think much of it when a couple weeks later he ran into Ranpo Edogawa, an acquaintance of his.
"Wanna go to the pet store with me? Poe asked me to get some snacks for Karl, and you know, normally I'd go with him, but he has a student council meeting today and I don't feel like waiting that long."
In Tecchou's humble opinion, Ranpo was a rather peculiar person, but somehow he found him to be quite relatable. And it probably wasn't a good thing, considering what he heard everyone else – and most importantly, Jouno – say about Ranpo. According to them, he was nothing but a lazy, pre-diabetic, selfish asshole with a stupidly high IQ. And no, his intelligence did not make him at all sensible or socially aware. Probably the only person on campus known to actually view Ranpo as something more than a food-thieving pest, was his roommate, Edgar Allan Poe. There was a rumour that it was more of a gay thing rather than an objective opinion, but when asked about it, Poe denied the hell out of it, as expected. Despite that, the masses swore they knew better.
Or so they thought.
Either way, Tecchou wasn't the type to be swayed by rumours, so he didn't really care about what others were saying. He understood the difficulty which Ranpo clearly had when it came to navigating the society and its norms. And that wasn't a crime, right? Well, definitely not according to Tecchou’s notes.
"Sure."
Before he knew it, Tecchou was standing in the very back of the pet store, his face practically glued to the glass wall of a decently sized ant tank. Having already finished his shopping, Ranpo stood and stared at him in mild confusion.
"Ants...? So many pets in here, and black ants are what caught your attention?"
"They're brown."
"...My bad." I guess bro.
Tecchou had probably been observing them in their cute little tunnels for at least 10 minutes by now, effectively pissing his companion off.
"You know, If you like them so much, why not just buy them?"
"I can't."
"Why?"
"Jouno said no."
Ranpo clicked his tongue in annoyance. He muttered a quiet "of course..." under his breath.
"You asked him about it?"
"About pets in general. It's a hard no."
"Why?"
"Because they smell and make noise. And he doesn't like it."
"What a wuss..."
"Don't call him that.”
"Okay, Tecchou, but listen–" Ranpo approached him, his tone shifting into something slightly sinister. "Do ants smell?"
"No."
"Do they make noise?"
"No..."
"Do you see where I'm going...?"
Tecchou didn't say anything.
"Just get them."
"But Jouno–"
"He won't notice, I'm sure! Alright, his hearing is incredible, but c'mon, how can someone hear literal ants?"
Tecchou lowered his head, contemplating. What Ranpo was saying made sense. But… lying to Jouno? And hiding something like this from him? It felt shitty, utterly vile, but those ants were so… Agh, the peer pressure Ranpo was giving him wasn't helping at all either!
15 minutes later, Tecchou was already outside the pet store, carrying a terrarium full of ants in his hands.
"Happy?"
He peeked down, taking a look at the ants. Most of them were hidden deep underground, cozy in the neverending maze of tunnels. Tecchou made sure not to shake the tank around too much.
"Mhm."
Technically he didn't lie – he was happy, but what he didn't say was that he was completely torn inside. Because yes, he did just achieve his ultimate goal of acquiring ants, and he could now stare at them for as long as he wanted to, within the comfort of his own dorm, too. If he placed the tank on his bedside table – and that would be possible, because he settled for a much smaller one than the one he was originally looking at in the store – he could even fall asleep while observing them. And that was basically Tecchou’s definition of paradise. But on the other hand, he couldn't brush off the feeling of guilt that was starting to settle deep inside his gut. He, Tecchou Suehiro, who had a reputation for being a "good boy," just did the exact thing he was told not to do. And not only that, he was also going to hide it, quite literally using the fact that his roommate couldn't see to his own advantage.
He felt like an absolute monster.
Tecchou's grip tightened around the terrarium. He could feel his palms get sweaty, and it wasn't because of the heat outside.
"Actually, I'm gonna head back to return it."
"Oh, please Tecchou, don't pussy out now." Honestly, I don't really care, I’m just really hungry.
The words rang in Tecchou's ears; so did his enraged heartbeat and heavy steps. He didn't know what to do anymore.
Although he felt like he should stand on business and do what he thought was right, Tecchou obediently shut up and followed Ranpo to the dorms where they parted – and God, he hated every single second of it.
"If Jouno gets on your ass about it then just– I dunno, tell him to shut up, or something."
"Mhm,"
"See you tomorrow!"
"Bye."
Ranpo disappeared inside his dorm. Tecchou passed by a couple more doors before finding the ones leading to his and Jouno's.
He stood in front of them for a couple of minutes, contemplating whether to enter or not. He did eventually, mentally preparing himself for the scolding of his life, but once he made it inside, he realised that it was empty.
"Jouno?"
No answer.
Maybe it was his lucky day, after all?
He sucked his previous anxiety up and went straight into the bedroom, placing the tank on his bedside table, just as he had previously imagined. And Lord – it was so damn awesome…
Tecchou then spent 20 minutes silently staring at the ants as they slowly got comfortable enough to emerge to the surface again. For a moment he even forgot about the inevitable doom that was awaiting him at any minute.
Eventually, Jouno returned home. Tecchou knew, because he welcomed him with a shout.
"Tecchou! What did I say about leaving the door unlocked?! Do you want someone to march in here and steal our food again?"
His back straightened immediately.
"Tecchou?!"
"Sorry."
"Just don't do it again."
"Okay."
The apartment fell silent for a moment, only filled with the noise of Jouno shuffling around the shared living area.
"I'm gonna order takeout, do you want anything?"
"I'm good."
"Huh, alright."
Shit. Tecchou focused his entire might on controlling his breathing. If his heart rate was even slightly too fast, Jouno would somehow end up hearing it, and then he’d clock that something wasn't right. And that'd be the end of the world, in Tecchou's mind.
He only found it within himself to step out of his room after 30 minutes or so. Jouno was sitting at the kitchen table, chewing on some pizza while listening to a podcast.
"Hungry?"
"No..."
"Well, help yourself if you want. I won't finish the entire thing anyway."
"Mhm..."
Tecchou wasn't sure why he even came into the kitchen in the first place. He felt like he should, but that was it. Maybe it was his conscience pushing him to come clean?
"There's ham and mushrooms on it."
"Alright."
"Now," Jouno put his podcast on pause, "mind telling me what the hell happened?"
Tecchou felt his heart skip a beat again.
"How did you..."
"C'mon Tecchou, I can tell that something's on your mind. Not like I care in particular, but this tense aura is annoying me. So, let it out or go to hell."
"..."
"I got pizza in case you ended up hungry. No olives, by the way. I didn't want you to cook up something horrenderous later."
"I don't like olives."
"I know."
Tecchou's fists clenched.
"They didn't have... huh, what would you possibly put on pizza...? Probably some bullshit like strawberries, etc. They didn't have them on the menu, sorry." Jouno snickered, resting his head in the palm of his hand. The table was mostly quiet, the only sound present being that of Tecchou's hasty heartbeat. Worst part – he could hear it too.
"It's, uh..."
"What? School, friends, family?"
"Ranpo–"
"Oh God, not him."
Tecchou tensed up even more. He was mentally starting to prepare himself to get kicked out.
"Let me guess, got in trouble at school because of his bullshit?"
That wasn't true, but– maybe it was a way out?
"Uh..."
"Of course." Jouno huffed. His dislike toward Ranpo wasn't something particularly new. It started after a certain incident, in which someone "borrowed" their snacks during their absence – all because Tecchou forgot to lock the door.
"Just leave it. I'll talk to Poe since Ranpo clearly won't listen."
"N-no, it's okay. I'll fix it."
"You sure?"
"Yeah."
"You're not all that good when it comes to standing up for yourself, you know?"
"I know."
"...Well, good luck regardless."
"Thank you."
In the end, Tecchou was too stressed to eat even a slice. Jouno didn't say anything about it, but that didn't mean it went unnoticed.
Somehow, this lie managed to go undetected for almost a whole week. Which absolutely did not mean that Tecchou felt any better about it. Jouno still asked him what was bothering him once or twice over the course of a couple of days, but Tecchou miraculously managed to play it off as academic stress or some other crap like that.
He hated how each time lying became slightly easier. He hated how slowly – but surely – he grew confident that Jouno wouldn't notice the glass terrarium. He hated how attached he got to those ants – because that was the sole reason why kept going deeper and deeper into the lie. If he were to get rid of them now– well, honestly, he'd probably just end up crying.
Tecchou spent more time than ever in his bed, observing the little creatures as they worked and ate little pieces of fruit that he placed inside their tank. Clearly, he was way past the point of being able to part with those ants, and it was starting to become a bit problematic.
He didn't realise this, but his sudden switch to this shut-in version of himself was generally noticeable to those around him. Particularly to Jouno, who came home to an empty kitchen for the fifth time this week. Normally he’d expect to find Tecchou sitting at the table, eating whatever ungodly concoction he stirred up during his absence. He always kindly offered Jouno a bite, and though each time it ended up declined, it was still the gesture that counted, he supposed. But as of lately, Tecchou spent almost his whole free time in his room. And while at first Jouno didn't mind it – hell, he even preferred it that way – at some point he started getting a bit... concerned. Which was completely uncharacteristic of Jouno Saigiku, irritably so.
After yet another silent day, he decided to investigate.
"Tecchou.”
"Do you need anything?"
"What the hell is up with you lately?"
Tecchou's heartbeat sped up at that.
"What do you mean?"
"I mean that you're always just sitting in this damn room! You only come out to get food and to shower!"
"Isn't that convenient for you, though...?"
"No, it's not, can you believe that?!" Tecchou lifted his eyebrows in surprise. "If you die – or worse, become a hikikomori, it'll be my problem too, you know?"
He was starting to understand now. The constant feeling of guilt, that he was slowly starting to get used to, attacked him once again, making it difficult for him to breathe normally.
"I'm sorry."
"Don't give me that “sorry” crap!"
"I'm sor– uh..."
"Tecchou."
This was the end. Tecchou was starting to feel himself crumble under Jouno’s sole. Mentally, he said his farewells to his beloved ants. One way or another, Jouno would surely end up finding out about them, and then he'll make Tecchou get rid of them. He could practically feel his stomach drop.
"You wanna sit down?"
Jouno suggested unexpectedly, his tone still passive-aggressive, though now a bit softer around the edges. By that point, he took notice of Tecchou's anxious demeanour, and he was starting to think that maybe this was more serious than he initially expected.
"Okay."
Jouno’s steps were careful, as to not accidentally trip over anything. Who knew what Tecchou had been up to anyway? There could've just been some dumb shit left on the floor in the middle of the room, even though generally speaking Tecchou was trained not to do that.
Jouno reached the bed and sat down on it, taking notice of how neatly done it was. Tecchou joined him shortly, his posture a bit slouched as he leaned forward, resting his forearms on his thighs. He fiddled with his fingers nervously, trying to predict his roommate’s reaction to finding out he'd been lied to and deceived for almost a week. A good scolding wouldn't be enough, probably. In the end, were those ants really worth it…? It wouldn't be the first time Tecchou got Jouno mad, but it was never so “selfishly spirited” before.
"So...?"
"Jouno..."
"What?"
"I did something really bad. And I'm sorry. I feel awful about it.”
Now Jouno's heart was starting to accelerate too, because what could this guy have possibly done?! Still, he proceeded calmly, his voice as steady and collected as possible.
"Well, what did you do?"
Silence, again. Tecchou only broke it after a long minute.
"...Can you promise not to yell?"
"I can't promise but I can try."
"Okay."
Tecchou lifted his head up and glanced into the direction of his ant farm. It was fun while it lasted, he supposed. At least the stone he'd been carrying on his heart ever since he got them would finally be gone.
"Remember how you said I'm not allowed to get a pet...?"
"Yeah, I do."
He bit his lip.
"I went behind your back and got it anyway."
Jouno's brow furrowed. Did Tecchou just imply that all this time he had been hiding a dog in his room?! Rather than get mad immediately, he took a moment to think about what Tecchou just "accomplished" – because how on God's Earth did Jouno not smell or hear it?! Even now, while sitting in the middle of their room, his sharp senses couldn't detect anything pointing to the presence of a dog.
"...What?!"
"I'm sorry."
"Tecchou, where the hell did you even hide it?!"
"Over here. You're sitting next to it, actually." He paused before correcting himself, "next to them."
Jouno's mouth twisted into a confused grimace.
"Them? How many of them did you get?!"
"Around 30."
"You're just fucking with me at this point. I can't even hear any breathing besides ours."
Tecchou paused for a moment before finally replying.
"Ants."
"...What ants.”
"An ant farm. There are around 30 ants inside of it. They're Black Garden Ants."
Jouno furrowed his brow, again. He could hear Tecchou's heart hammering inside his chest.
"Is that what you've been hiding for the last week?"
"Mhm."
"Is that all you have been hiding?"
"Yes."
"Okay..." Tecchou's voice didn't crack or falter, assuring Jouno that he was, in fact, telling the truth. As stupid as it might've been.
"...I'm really sorry. I'll return them to the store or somethi–"
"Tecchou."
"...Yes?"
Jouno rubbed his nosebridge with a sigh.
"...You can keep them."
"...”
“I mean it.”
“...Really?!”
"But if even one ant escapes, I'm throwing this whole tank out the window."
"Okay. I'll make sure nothing escapes."
Tecchou's tone was noticeably lighter now. His heartbeat slowed down, too. Jouno could quite literally hear his smile carry itself through his voice – and in a way, it was a relief. Well, Tecchou did just scare the fuck out of him; for a moment Jouno even thought that he committed a crime, or something. But no, it was just ants. Stupid ants. This entire time Tecchou was so stressed out, because he broke a rule Jouno made. He practically acted like a kicked dog because of it.
It was… endearing, somehow.
"If you wanted ants, you could've just asked me about it."
"...I thought you'd say no."
"Well, I probably would, true–" Jouno sighed, "but what's done is done. As I said, if I feel even a singular ant on myself, this whole thing ends up in the trashcan outside the building."
"Okay. I'll take good care of them, I promise."
Tecchou couldn't stop his grin from growing. Not only was he done living a lie, but he could also keep his ants? What more could he possibly want? That was when he noticed it – Jouno was smiling too, and it wasn't one of his sarcastic smiles. This smile was genuine. Maybe a bit pitiful, (okay, very pitiful) but hey – still real!
Tecchou got up from the bed and settled on the floor instead, propping his arms on the bedside table and resting his head within their nest. Back to observing the ants, he went. For some reason Jouno remained right by his side, so close that his kneecaps were brushing slightly against Tecchou's side. He didn't shift away – and honestly, Tecchou didn't mind it.
"Tell me what they're doing." Jouno mumbled after a while, dropping backwards onto the bed with relief. Of course, he didn't appreciate Tecchou lying to him, but this specific situation was so bizarre and stupid that he couldn't even bring himself to be mad. It was strange, really.
"Four ants are working hard together to dig a tunnel alongside the wall of the tank. It fascinates me how organised they are."
"It does seem pretty cool, huh."
"It is.”
Jouno sighed once more.
–Well, at the very least it wasn't manslaughter!
Or a dog. Because that would probably be much worse, at least in his humble opinion.