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Walking from th pitch Harry felt pinching cold wind on his cheeks. It was way after 9 P.M., just brilliant, peach perfect. Of course , after a full day of lessons the only thing he dreamed of was more than three hours practice. In all honesty, this year, without Oliver as the captain, Harry was counting on a bit lighter trainings. But obviously Angelina was keeping pace with her predecessor. The apparent difference between the two was that Oliver loved to drag his team out of their warm beds in the ungodly early hours, whereas Angelina wasn’t an early bird in the slightest and preferred late afternoon and night times( of course, Harry did appreciate the investment, not to mention the stake was high to keep the schools champions title and win the Quiditch cup this year again, but coming to the dormitory only to find out everyone had gone to bed once again in the same week wasn’t that much positively biasing.) Johnson was demanding a lot from everybody on the team, as the Hufelpuff makeup had been altered. With two chasers outside of the school’s walls and Diggory temporally dismissed as a Hogwarts representative on the Triwizard tournament, the whole dynamic was changed. And yes, of course, the lions had to have their first game with the Hufflepuff , by the way in the same dreadful time of the year as the last year’s catastrophic match, which didn’t bring many happy memories for Harry, obviously.
All of that combined with a pretty intense school time was not creating the brightest time. In one moment Harry was just lost in his thoughts and a second later all of the balls flew right out of his hands with a big smash.
“Oi, are you alright?” Asked Fred (Harry was sure it was him, for since the beginning o the year George became insparable with Angelina) who was dragging some equipment from the pitch on his own.
“Yeah, yeah. It was just balls, I guess I just was miles away for a moment.” Harry tried to brush it off, simultaneously finding out his hands just couldn’t stop shaking, much more than during the practice. He had that issue since summer, but it was rather from time to time, leaving him functioning normally. Not like today, apparently.
Even though Harry’s assurances he could absolutely do it on his own, Fred helped him collect and sort the scattered quaffles and beaters and took it on himself to clean up the rest of the pitch.Walking out from the pitch Harry still was unable to stop the shivering and shaking. And on top of everything the fact that he’d left his winter clock in the gryfindor tower wasn’t really helpful. Cold, November wind was blasting through his quiditch attire with ease.
“Potter, what do you think you’re doing here?”
A furious voice cut Harry’s train of thoughts.
“I’m going back to the castle, sir”
Now wasn’t the moment when Harry was particularly dreaming about fighting with Severus, but his guardian rarely cared to start a conversation peacefully.
“I’m just filled with admiration, that you are not heading towards the forbidden forest, but would you kindly explain what are you doing in this hour out of your dormitory?”
Harry started with the most innocent tone he could muster.
“I’m not sure you know sir, but you can’t play quiditch in the bedroom so I was forced to-“
“Are you shivering? What are you even wearing? Tell me, how badly do you desire to catch pneumonia, that you actually decided to run around in a summer clothes for Merlin knows how long?”
Severus grabbed his shoulder, more to take a closer look than to harm Harry, but the boy flinched and pulled out immediately.
“Leave me alone ! I was really just going back from the pitch!”
“Are you not capable of the simplest tasks, as choosing right clothing depending on the weather? What’s next? If you cannot be responsible in the slightest maybe you shouldn’t be allowed to play with the team all together?”
“You can’t do that.”
“Can’t I? From what I remember parents are in their rights to forbid precipitation in the game, if they deem that is in conflict with child’s health or school responsibilities.”
“Yeah? Lucky you are not my parent!”
Immediately after shouting that he covered his mouth with his hand. All of the blood drained from his face.
“I wonder what does your head of house think of that. You know, the one responsible for the makeup of your precious team.”
Harry wasn’t able to read the grimace that painted Severus’s face. The man unclung his hand so upruptly Harry fell down on his back. Before he had any time for apologies his teacher turned around and quickly headed towards the castle.
He considered chasing Severus, yet his body chose the exact moment to drown of all the energy it ever had. After a moment or two overhauling the receding character seemed hopelessly impossible. After all, would Severus even hear him out right now? Harry was so peeved with himself, for those unnecessary words said in anger. Okay, sure, he didn’t wish to be threatened to be kicked out of the team and Severus had idiotic obsession over Harry’s health (and eating). But for what reason did Harry had to shout he was happy Severus wasn’t his parent?
From the very moment Severus offered to be his guardian Harry heard a tiny voice in the back of his head, telling him it couldn’t last, that Harry is going to find a way to mess it all up.But three months? Really? It had to be a record.
For all that, he was also angry, and didn’t feel a particular desire to run to the infirmary(also because madam Pomfrey surely would give his guardian his due). To be honest, Harry didn’t even feel that bad. Since June he had became used to trembling hands and waves of coldness. He could always just ask the house elves for a glass of hot cocoa and sleep beside the fireplace, right? And the vision of cosy gryfons tower was much more tempting than rapport in the hospital wing. Yeah, his bedroom, the scarlet Gobelin tapestry, the spurting flames, he daydreamed.
After a second of hesitation he headed there exactly.
——————-
Harry was standing for no less than ten minutes before the door, hovering to come inside. He was aware, Severus would be alerted by his wards whenever anybody even touched the door-handle.
This day was hopeless enough, without a fight with his guardian teacher. Maybe Severus was right after all with the health thing, as Harry wasn’t feeling his today. Throughout this whole day he was rather drifting towards his warm bed, than payed attention to the lessons (yes Hermione, I know, everything we revised today can be asked on the OWLs). Not to mention, the unfinished homework from yesterday and last week wasn’t really much help. His hands didn’t stop shaking, which earned him several infirmary-centric comments from both Ron and Neville and even a concerned look from Flitwick when he couldn’t grasp his wand for much longer than it normally takes. Usually it wasn’t that bad, maybe just a colder day affected him?
Yet, the procrastinating of his and Severus’s confrontation only added anxiety. Harry preferred to know, he was being chucked or dismissed or dumped or whatever, than to wait uncertainly. Severus had never before just left without a word, like he did yesterday. But well, Harry hadn’t also offend him since they started with this ‘arrangement’. So maybe that was just it for them?
Get a grip, Potter. He can’t do much worse than the Dursleys did.
After a nervous knocking on the door of the study came court “Come in”
Was it the last time Harry was allowed into the Severus’s private quarters?
“Oh Harry, what’s bringing you here?”
Severus asked behind a large pile of documents on his desk.
“I err I-I am- I wanted to say, I mean it’s a-about yester-“
“Quit stuttering and say what you wanted to.”
Okay, Severus was mad at him, question to what extent.
“I’m sorry about yesterday “ Harry said as fast and clearly as he could, then stared at the floor, waiting for any response. When it didn’t come he started.
“I’m sorry. I mean I’m sorry, sir. Honestly. I try and I don’t know why I fail. Please don’t kick me out. I really didn’t want to say all that. But I just got scared you’re going to ban me from the team and I don’t know. Please don’t do it, sir. And please don’t kick me out.”
“I know, Harry. Calm yourself.” Severus said in a steady voice, which almost made Harry lean into. The older man sighted. “I don’t need to be James Potter to you, but I do need for you to take care of your health.”
Harry stared at him, Severus looked uncharacteristically concerned.
“That’s all. And remember not to call me ‘sir’ here, whilst we aren’t in the class. And I do not want to hear a word about me wanting to kick you out.” That part was said in much more typical demanding tone, while Severus’s face still expressed odd consternation. “Because I do not”
“Oh, mm thanks” Harry said not sure for which thing exactly is he thanking.
“So you do understand why I was…upset with your yesterday’s state?”
“Yeah, I think so.”
“And that was no reason for you to throw this hist fit, here.”
Harry flushed a bit but retorted.
“I’m not histerical and that’s not a fit! I just came to apologise “
“Yes, and additionally you only brought your inane guesswork and brought yourself to the brink of tears-“
“I am not at any brink!” Harry was now honestly offended, but checked if his eyes weren’t wet. Just in case.
Severus smiled behind his papers, then halted when he noticed Harry’s wayward palms, that just couldn’t stop the little tremors.
“ À propos, were you yesterday at the hospital wing?”
“Err” Harry shook his head.
“What about today?”
Severus asked expectingly.Harry only looked at him with a pretended remorse.
Severus threw up his hands and sighted very very loudly.
“Do you not see what I have to put up with here?”
Harry smirked and thought his guardian simply must like being dramatic. But at least he wanted Harry to stay.
———————-
After double herbology, during the long break Harry was accosted by clearly anxious Angelina.
“Harry, come on, you could have told me. I really didn’t know you shouldn’t have train so much. I feel so stupid, it’s my fault really-“
“What? But why?”
“McGonagall just told me, more like told me off, you shouldn’t overstrain yourself after your-that thing with the dementors. Look, I really didn’t want for you to be hurt…”
“Angelina, everything is alright, seriously. Don’t worry.”
The girl was boring into him, visibly not believing him.
“Okay, but you seriously have to tell me when that changes. And you have a pass to skip a practice, especially if I would go one-week-before-match-crazy amok, alright?”
“Yeah, sure. And you know I’m not dying here, or anything, so you don’t need to worry.”
“If you say so”
Angelina waved him and walked away heading to the hall,with a dubious smile. Harry looked after her steps when he came across someone else’s sight. Someone who was clearly planing to stab daggers into harry if he wouldn’t start eating broth and stew, that stood before him, fast enough. Harry rolled his eyes and turned to his own table. Next to his plate materialised two vials, which colour he easily distinguished. He was right, the elixirs tasted the same, as those he took during summer.