Work Text:
“Kara, I told you this is not necessary. I don’t need cheering up” Alex tries to convince Kara as she is being dragged through the door of the old jazz club in National City, that has kept the jazzy feel but updated its tech.
This isn’t the first-time Alex has been here, she used to come here in college and sing at the open mic nights with her suite-mates. They’d formed a small group and when any of them had had a particularly taxing week with school or social life, they’d find the strongest-belting ballad that spoke to them at that moment and jam out, in front of complete strangers, together. It bonded them. It let them release the hurt or frustration or exhaustion that was built up.
Alex had told Kara those stories, and maybe once or twice brought an underage Kryptonian to the bar to hear her and her friends play. It was fun to bring Kara along, to show her something other than labs, and periodic tables. Apparently, the Kryptonian was a huge romantic and the atmosphere of the smoke-filled bar with her sister singing up front allowed her mind to wander and watch great stories unfold like those sappy movie’s Alex never understood. She was glad Kara loved it though.
“Come on, Alex, we haven’t been back here in years.” The dragging wasn’t as forceful as Kara thought she had to be. She could tell that Alex as happy for the encouragement of getting out of the house. She saw the memories flash behinds her browns eyes as they grabbed their beers and found a place near the side of the bar in a booth.
“I didn’t know they still did open mic nights here.” Alex was happy to hear talented crooners in the front singing their feelings out into the world. Letting their cares go as the words flowed with the strong slow melodies that eventually build to them screaming. The emotion and the heartache and pain was comforted Alex.
Alex sipped the last of her first beer when she felt Kara nudge her shoulder. She looked over and with the puppy like pout Kara was pointing up at the stage. “You should get up there.”
Alex scoffed and walked over to the bar to get another drink. As she was up refueling, she looked around, she’d missed this place. She’s missed the people and the feel of collective heartbreak and stress relief. Having something they enjoyed and they enjoyed it together.
When she got back to the booth her heart was aching to get up there. She kind of hated that Kara pushed her along to this, she wasn’t ready to be a mess again in front of people. She wasn’t ready to prove that she was that heartbroken. She had never been that heart broken. Most of the songs she sung were ones that helped her get her frustrations with her studies out. Were ways for her to connect with people who felt things that she imagined and wanted but never knew. Now she knew. Now she understood those lyrics. She felt the music build with the tears and the words start soft and come out as a scream. She got it now.
Kara said nothing but nudged her one more time as the last few cords of ‘Landslide’ played from the guitar of the boy who was still up there with his eyes closed.
Alex relented. She walked over to the band in the back and asked if they would join her. With the bassist, drummer, keyboardist, and guitarist, Alex pulled up the black wooden stool to the edge of the stage and adjusted the mic in front of her.
When she sang back in college she used to love and scan the room to see the people around who were there to take a break from their regular lives as well, but this felt different. This was for her. This was her heart. She kept her eyes closed as the melody started. The beat brought her in and her voice just began soft and low:
Say you love me to my face
I need it more than your embrace
As she continued, she desperately wanted to look around, she knew Kara would be beaming from the booth but she felt more eyes on her and she didn’t know why but she lifted her head and her eyes towards the back of the bar.
Just say you want me, that’s all it takes
Heart’s getting torn from your mistakes
Long dark hair, leather jacket, big brown soft eyes are staring right back at her. No judgement, no resentment, no hatred, just encouragement and trust along with that smile that made Alex’s steady breaths hard to maintain. It was her.
‘Cause I don’t wanna fall in love
If you don’t wanna try,
She’s not begging or pleading with the dark-skinned woman; she is just telling her. Maggie, listen. Maybe, this will be a way you can hear me.
But all that I’ve been thinking of
Is maybe that you’re mine
Baby it looks as though we’re running out of words to say
And love’s floating away
Alex’s eyes drift over to Kara’s who’s eyes had followed hers and seen Maggie standing in the back. Alex gives her a nod that she is okay and her eyes close again. Continuing. Losing herself in her now message to the woman who is making her way to the front of the stage.
Just say you love me, just for today
And don’t give me time ‘cause that’s not the same
Want to feel burning flames when you say my name
Alex can feel and hear her emotions getting the best of her but she is determined to get lost in it, she is desperate to let this song be her release and her letter to Maggie.
Want to feel passion flow into my bones
Like blood through my veins
‘Cause I don’t wanna fall in love
If you don’t wanna try,
But all that I’ve been thinking of
Is maybe that you’re mine
Baby it looks as though we’re running out of words to say
And love’s floating away.
Alex knew what was coming, the next part of the song. She wanted to be strong. She wanted to look Maggie right in the eyes. Let the songs be the words she could find and show Maggie how her heart was breaking but if she just heard her, if she just stayed.
Won’t you stay?!
Won’t you stay?!
Slowly, slowly you run for me,
But do you know me at all
Someone told me love controls everything
But only if you know!
The music built and the melody swelled. Alex breathed with the beat and opened her eyes to find Maggie at the front table looking right back at her. Relaxed but intent in her gaze. One last breath as Alex opened her mouth to let the final chorus fall out.
‘Cause I don’t wanna fall in love
(no no no no)
If you don’t wanna try,
‘Cause all that I’ve been thinking of
is maybe that you’re mine
(you’re mine)
Baby it looks as though we’re running out of words to say
And love’s floating away
Won’t you stay
Won’t you stay
By the time Alex winds the song down her eyes closed again and tears were rolling down her face. The crowd was struck and silent with the raw emotion that was emanating off Alex, and the pure hum that came with the resonance that followed such a performance. Claps and hoots came as Alex made her way off the stool and down toward Kara.
Kara, however had other plans for the evening and in the booth, was Maggie as Kara was collecting her jacket to leave. “I’ve missed that.” She said as she squeezed Alex in a hug and walked out the door, leaving her at the booth with Maggie.
“Alex Danvers can sing. Wow.” Said with a smirk and Maggie slid further into the booth so Alex knew she was meant to sit. Alex sat down on the edge of the booth and just smiled. She couldn’t find anything else to say. She had said it. The song was her words; the lyrics were the thoughts that she’d tried to get out for the past month to Maggie. They sat there in relatively comfortable silence. The month since Maggie’s rejection and her own coming out and coming to terms with her new self she had finally said it. May not have been the words of her own design but the message was clear. Her feelings hadn’t changed.
Alex Danvers was never going to be the one to date just to date around. Even if she didn’t know she was gay she knew that about herself. That being once she found something, in this case someone, she liked she knew that was what she was going to pursue. That is how is was with medicine and science and the DEO. Now Maggie.
“I’ll stay.” Those were the words out of the brunette’s mouth that broke the silence. “I never said I was going anywhere.” The sincerity never left her voice. Alex doesn’t know how she does it. Every word, every phrase out of any other person’s mouth would be condescending or have some bite to it, but this, her, every time, it’s sweet, and sincere.
Alex was no longer on the edge of the booth, now she was facing the long-haired brunette. They were side by side, looking from their drinks to each other. Alex found that her eyes always made it back to Maggie’s smile, she noticed the dimples, and they were cute, but her whole smile, the ease of how it grew when she looked at Alex, the imperceptible lines that formed around her dark eyes, the tilt of her head and small nods that went with every smile. The whole shebang was what caught Alex the first time they met and had hooked her in further each other time. Alex took a breath in realizing she had forgotten to breath at all. “Then stay.” She said.
Maggie’s eyes glowed and her hand moved from her sweaty beer to Alex’s forearm. “Fine.” Her word was short but not sharp. Her thumb brushed over Alex’s arm as they continued to sit in silence. More brave souls made their ways up to the stage to sing. With Maggie’s hand, still on Alex’s arm, a security was felt and Alex covered her hand with her own, linking their fingers. The rest of the night they sat in the booth listening to the singers, and crooners, and musicians commenting on each performance but mainly just being there together.
Happy. Smiling. Holding each other, until the chairs were on top of the tables and the music had all but ended.