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It was the middle of the night and the TV was the only light source in the room. Sure, it was a little too bright for eyes but it has been hours since Kier and Dev were on the couch, binging movies together, making them used to it.
Dev doesn’t know when but at one point, Kier found comfort in leaning onto Dev’s body and resting his head on the crook of his neck.
It’s not the first time he’s done that. It’s happened every week since they moved in together, like a routine when they decide to watch movies together. Kier would start to get tired first, then fall asleep on Dev. Then they would fall asleep with the TV still on, light reflecting onto their faces until the following morning.
The first time it happened, Dev was fully awake, most likely from the multiple cups of coffee he decided to have an hour before, and tried his best not to move while steadying his breath. Initially, it felt like torture, he felt that the slightest bit of movement would accidentally wake Kier up and then Kier would leave him to sleep in his own room. But that never happened, Dev slowly got used to it, and let himself relax, falling asleep to the sound of Kier’s soft and steady breaths, leaning on his head while the TV plays in the background.
It was the main reason why he always looked forward to movie nights. He enjoyed it, cherished these moments as it was also hard to have Kier to himself due to all the hockey training and video recordings that stole Kier away from him.
He’d go out of his way to plan a series of movies to watch just to live that moment over and over again. He’d run his fingers through his silky black hair and maybe breathing in the strawberry scented shampoo from it as well, truly appreciating how lucky he was to be in the position he’s at.
It’s not hard to admit that he was probably head over heels for Kier. And it wasn’t a feeling that appeared overnight as well. It just naturally grew bigger and bigger over time. He couldn’t remember when he first realised his feelings, but he remembered the first time they met, the unforgettable smile from the kid sitting with him, playing geometry dash.
“Yo no way? You play GD too?” Dev exclaimed. He didn’t mean to peek at Kier’s phone but seeing what game he was playing only made him excited.
And right there and then, they instantly clicked. Kier would laugh at every joke Dev made and to Dev, hearing it just made him nervous. He hated what it did to him but at the same time, he’d pay to listen to it over and over again, along with the adorable smile he carried.
He loved everything about him. He loved how he was the first person Kier ran to when he made the school hockey team. He loved how he wouldn’t stop talking about it all day that day. It was probably selfish of him to hate to have anyone else be in his position but he didn’t care. No one else would be there for him better than he could.
He could feel his heart shatter into millions of pieces when he found out Kier had got himself a girlfriend when they were 17. He ignored Kier for two whole days because of that and refused to talk to him. Eventually, he couldn’t handle not speaking to him any longer, especially when Kier comes up to him like a sad pleading puppy deprived of attention.
Dev had promised himself that he wouldn’t be petty over Kier having someone else to love that wasn’t him. And he stayed true to it, he was happy for them. Until they broke up.
Kier was quiet that entire day, he’d still hang out with Dev but Dev could feel the gloomy aura coming from him. Of course he’d tried to ask him what’s wrong or if he needed anything, but Kier would shrug it off and tell him “It’s nothing, I’ll be okay..” though Dev knew it wasn’t true. He hated how he couldn’t do anything about it but he wanted to be there for him at the very least.
That night, Dev’s parents were out of town and Kier showed up at his door in his pajamas, nose red and stuffy, trying to hold back his tears. And the first thing Dev did immediately, was pull him in for a hug, and there, Kier started sobbing uncontrollably.
If Dev had learnt anything on that day, it was that letting Kier cry his problems away, would bring him back again, because the following day, that same smile and cheerful demeanour, woke Dev up with breakfast and a cup of orange juice. It might not have been safe to eat but he was glad, not just the fact that Kier was no longer sad, but the fact that he could have Kier all to himself again.
Dev was lost in his thoughts. Still admiring the Kier who was sleeping, wondering how they could still be friends.
Their relationship wasn’t always smooth-going. On Dev’s 19th birthday, the two had gotten into an argument.
Dev remembers having a party at his house, everyone but Kier was there. He couldn’t bring himself to have fun at all, not when his best friend failed to show up or even wish him happy birthday.
“Dude did you seriously forget that it was my birthday?!?!?”
“I’m sorry! I’m just— so caught up with hockey lately, we have a big match coming soon and I can’t afford to miss practice—“
“Not even for my birthday?? I show up to all your birthdays AND games and you can’t even make time for one day???” He yelled, not caring to hear another word coming from Kier. Was it petty? A little, but Dev had always prioritised Kier over anything. And seeing that Kier wouldn’t do the same honestly stung his heart.
They didn’t talk for weeks, Kier did try leaving him messages, apologising but also trying to justify himself but Dev simply left them all on delivered. Not that it was easy to.
Before Kier’s big match, Dev didn’t tell Kier he was showing up beforehand to watch. And when he arrived, he could see how Kier had no enthusiasm to play on the rink unlike all the other times. A part of him felt bad for being so stubborn and not forgiving him but another felt that he deserved it. The other team was going to win and Kier wasn’t going to put up a fight at all, but when his eyes met Dev at the stand, his mood instantly lifted and Dev could see the shine in his bright amber eyes, the ones he would always get lost in.
Though they didn’t win the game in the end, Dev wanted to make sure that he was there for Kier.
“I thought you weren’t coming,”
“I would never miss a game babe.” Dev assured,
“You’re such an idiot. I’m sorry I didn’t win.” Kier says, nudging his shoulders which only led out a chuckle from Dev. They haven’t really made up yet at that time but you couldn’t tell that they’ve fought either.
Dev was instantly brought back to the current moment when he felt Kier standing up from the couch. Is he uncomfortable? Was the first thing that came to Dev’s mind. To his surprise, Kier unconsciously pulled his arm and into his room, dropping down on his bed and falling asleep immediately.
It was the first time they really slept together or cuddled somewhere other than the couch. Dev couldn’t say that he hated it but he did feel a little stupid for letting half-asleep Kier toy with his feelings. He wondered again, how could they still only be friends? How could Kier do this so casually? To be fair, Dev does flirt with him constantly too but that only makes him question more.
The year before, only after a few weeks of moving in together, Dev would definitely not forget the barely conscious Kier confessing to him. Or what he wanted to believe was a confession.
Kier decided that he was going to go to a bar he wasn’t legally allowed in to meet up with Boosfer and Bubbo for the first time. Unfortunately for Dev, he was stuck with editing a video. Which also meant that not only could he not go, but he was all alone without his favourite company.
A few hours had passed and Kier still had yet to come home. Dev didn’t want to disturb him by checking up on him too much which he still did, but had no reply to.
Only until 1 in the morning, just before Dev was about to call the cops on Boosfer for possibly kidnapping, he heard a knock on the door. Why would Kier knock on his own door? He couldn’t help but feel a little scared at the thought but eventually brought himself to open it.
There was Kier, sleeping but awake at the same time, slouching over the shoulders of the man with dirty blonde hair whom he just assumed to be Boosfer.
“Is he okay?? What happened???” Dev asked, panicked and worried at the same time. He was quickly relieved when Boosfer assured him,
“He’s fine dude, just had a little too much drinks.” Handing Kier over to Dev like an object.
“Call me if you need anything, yeah?” Boosfer says before leaving for his cab. Dev nods while closing the door. He’s never had to take care of Kier like this before. Whenever Kier was sick, Dev would also already be sick, and probably in a worser condition. Additionally, they were also only 20, so they never had a sip of alcohol before.
The first instinct he had was to set him to sleep. But as Dev was about to leave Kier in his bed, he heard him say,
“I don’t know if you already know this yourself, but I think I like you.” still barely conscious, looking at Dev.
He didn’t know what to think of it. And moreover, he was scared. Scared that it was just Kier with an improper state of mind speaking to him.
Dev definitely regretted not saying anything that day. He’s also never brought it up with Kier, afraid it might make him feel awkward. Now, looking at him sleep so soundly above him, Dev whispers,
“I love you Kier,”
And for someone so assuredly asleep, Kier looks up at him with his eyes half open, which probably scared Dev to a heart attack.
Dev was speechless, and ultimately scared. The pace of his heartbeat was picking up and he wanted to bury himself into a hole.
What if Kier heard that and wants to leave? or maybe he’s doing that thing where he’s moving half-asleep again. His mind instantly went blank as he felt Kier leaning into his face. The amber eyes that he’s always adored and admired were so easy to avoid at that moment.
“I know. I love you too Dev.” And back he goes, to sleep, like nothing happened. Torturing Dev with waves a different emotions like it was nothing. Dev knew that Kier would probably make it a bigger deal in the morning than he did right now but it didn’t matter. He had Kier all to himself and nothing else. Nothing else matters.
Dev felt his eyelids becoming heavier by the second. He was just feeling a thousand different emotions a few minutes ago but now he feels his heartbeat steadying, matching Kier. Then letting the exhaustion taking over him, eventually falling asleep.